冒牌牧师（2015）

Impastor S01E01

Part 4 March 31, 2021, 2:54 p.m.

a parent in your life?
能有父母陪伴左右吗?
I cannot wait to get away from that woman.
我迫不及待地想逃离那个女人了
Yeah, when is that happening?
是吗那什么时候?
Soon as I finish high school.
我高中一毕业我就走
61 days.
61天
Okay.
好吧
This is how it's going down.
那事情就这样
When you leave this house you can smoke weed
当你离开这个家的时候你想抽多少大♥麻♥都可以
and pound all the produce you want.
想插什么都可以
But for the next 61 days,
但是在这61天里
you're gonna be a model son.
你要做一个模范好儿子
And why is that?
为什么?
Because you may not know this,
因为你可能不知道
but there's a special place in hell
地狱里有一个特别的地方
for little snot-nosed bastards
专门为流鼻涕的不尊重
who disrespect their mothers.
他们妈妈的小混♥蛋♥设计的
And if you don't start treating her better,
如果你不开始对你妈好点的话
I will personally use all my clout with the big guy
我会亲自动用我和"大老板"的交情
to make sure you fry your ass off for all eternity.
确保你屁♥股♥永远都炸开花
You can't do that.
你不能那么做
Oh, no?Try me, you little shit.
不行? 你试试你个小杂种
What's it gonna be, Jasper?
你想怎么选贾斯伯?
Two months of good behavior
两个月的良好表现
or eternal fucking damnation?
还是永恒的狗♥日♥的♥诅咒?
You don't sound like any preacher I've ever met.
你和我以前遇到的牧师不一样
I'll take that as a compliment.
我就当你是夸我了
And you sure don't seem gay.
你看起来也不像基佬
Well, I don't know what you think a gay person
我不知道你认为基佬应该
is supposed to seem like,
看起来是怎么样的
but make no mistake,
但是我很确定
I like cock.
我爱丁丁
Come on, Jesus, be the password.
给力点天密♥码♥对啊
Hey, thought you were gone.
嘿我以为你走了
Oh, no, just ducked out for a sec.
噢不我只是在外面耽误了一会儿
Oh, I'll get that for you.
噢我帮你拿
Oh, no, no, that's okay.
噢不不不用了
You...
你...
Why are you heating up a cantaloupe?
你为什么要加热哈密瓜?
And why is therea hole in it?
为什么哈密瓜中间还有个洞?
Why do you think?
你怎么看?
To put ice cream in it?
为了放冰激凌?
Yes!
答对了！
Yum.
好吃啊
Huh.
额
I wonder what this is about.
发生了什么事
My time was up.I had two choices:
我的时辰到了我只有两个选择
tell the truth and face murder charges
在没有人相信我的故事的情况下
when no one believes my story,
说出真♥相♥ 面临谋杀指控
or make a run for it.
或者马上跑路
Buddy?
巴迪?
Hey,I saw this wounded bird.
嘿我看见一只受伤的小鸟
I was gonna pray over it.
我准备为它祈祷
Oh, no.
喔不
It's okay.He walked it off.
没事了他走开了
May we have a word please?
我们能谈谈吗?
Yeah.
当然
This is my son-in-law Michael.
这是我的女婿迈克尔
Uh, he has something to say to you.
他有些话对你说
You tell everyone you're a pastor?
你告诉大家你是牧师?
But I know what you really are.
但是我知道你的真实身份
You do?
你知道了?
You're a psychic.
你是个灵媒
I mean, how else could you know?
我是说不然你是怎么知道的?
Know? That Isabella and I were
知道? 我和伊莎贝拉
fighting over when to have a baby.
在吵什么时候要孩子
That's what you meant by giving us
这就是你想通过圣经经♥文♥
that Bible passage,right?
想告诉我们的对吧?
That the time is now?
现在就是时候了?
So you got that, huh?
所以你明白了是吧?
Ooh, I'll get it.
哦我来开门
I've been telling her that you can't let money
我一直在跟她说不能让金钱
decide when you start a family.
决定你什么时候开始成家
But it took your passage to convince her.
但是您选的经♥文♥说服了她
I had to come over and thank you.
我必须亲自登门感谢您
You're welcome.
不客气
What did you say to my son?
你对我的儿子说了什么?
Uh, just some stuff.
呃只是一些琐事
Do you know what he did after you left?
你知道在你走后他说了什么吗?
He said he was sorry.
他说他错了
Then he hugged me.
然后拥抱了我
He hasn't done that in years.
他好多年没这么做了
You're a miracle worker.
您是一个奇迹创造者
Oh, now now.
噢看看看看
I'm just God's humble servant.
我只是上帝虔诚的信徒
And to think, some people weren't even sure
想想一些人甚至认为你
you were qualified.
不够格
Gloating is unbecoming, Dora.
现在幸灾乐祸不是时候啊朵拉
Yes.Yes, just...
是的是的只是...
feels so good.
感觉棒棒哒
It is such a blessing to have you here, Reverend.
您能留在这里真是上天庇佑牧师
Oh, that's funny.
噢? 好搞笑
That's the word that you always use
这个词总是出现在你的邮件里
in your emails,blessing.
保佑
And suddenly, I knew Jonathan Barlow's password.
就在这时突然我知道了乔纳森·巴罗的密♥码♥
12,400 bucks.
12400美金
Not a fortune, but enough to hit the road with.
不是太多但是足够我跑路了
But where should I go?
但是我应该去哪里呢?
Back to the city and all my debts?
回到城里和接下所有的债务?
Some place as far away as possible?
能跑多远跑多远?
Hello. Buddy?
你好巴迪?
It's Russell.
是我拉塞尔
You've got the whole town buzzing.
你让整个镇子都轰动了
About what?
关于什么?
All the good you've been doing.
你做的所有好事
Everyone's just so happy you're here.
你来到这里大家都很开心
You know what?
你知道吗?
So am I.
我也是
Maybe the real Jonathan Barlow was right.
也许真正的乔纳森·巴罗是对的
Maybe it is never too late for redemption.
也许救赎永远都不嫌晚
Even for a screw-up like me.
甚至对于我这个生活一团糟的人
Hello? Hi, it's Alexa.
你好? 你好我是亚莉克莎
I wanted to plan a big welcoming party
我想办一个大型的欢迎派对
and I'd love to get your input.
我非常愿意听听你的想法
Are you free?Can I come over?
你现在有空吗?我能过来吗?
Uh, sure.
当然可以
Stop it.
停下
You are a gay pastor,and she is one of your flock.
你是一个基佬牧师而她是你的信徒
This is just about a welcoming party.
这就只是有关于欢迎派对而已
Hello, Buddy.
嗨喽巴迪
请联♥系♥QQ群：428872140