冒牌牧师（2015）

Impastor S01E04

Part 2 March 31, 2021, 2:55 p.m.

Yeah?
谁?
I'm the guy.
我就是
I get a lot of "superexpensive" gifts.
"价值不菲"的东西老娘见多了
I like to know who's screwing me.
我得知道谁在忽悠我
So to speak.
就是这么个意思
How much is it worth?
它值多少钱?
15, maybe 20.
15 可能20
Thousand?
千?
Dollars.
美元
This is just colored glass.
这就是有色玻璃而已
Shit!
奶奶的!
So you want to do something or what?
所以你要来一炮什么的?
Time is money.
时间就是银子
What can I get for 20 bucks?
20美元能买♥♥个什么服务?
Blue balls.
能买♥♥个蛋蛋
I couldn't believe
我简直不能相信
Aunt Ruby screwed me like that.
露比大婶居然这么坑我
Now, where the hell was I gonna get 5 grand
那么我TM到底上哪整5千美元
to pay back my bookie?
来付清我赌球的钱?
Buddy, don't forget tonight is Alexa's fashion show
巴迪别忘了今晚有亚莉克莎的时尚最时尚秀
put on by Alexa at Boutique Alexa
在亚莉克莎精品店里由亚莉克莎主持
in the United States of Alexa.
在美国的亚莉克莎州
Is something wrong between you and Alexa?
你和亚莉克莎闹别扭了?
You know me so well.
哦你这个知心的宝贝儿
You know, just because I'm not some
你懂的虽然我不是那种特别牛闪闪
sophisticated, big city fashionista,
大地方的时尚教主
it does not mean that I don't have good taste.
并不代表我品味差
Or feelings.
也不代表我没感情
What's this?
这是啥?
Oh, that's, uh...
哦那是...呃...
That's a gift.
这是个礼物
Ooh.It's so fancy.
哎呦喂还挺好看
Who's it for?
给谁的?
It's, uh...
这是...呃...
For you.
送给你的
For me?
给我的?
But... why?
可是...为啥?
For being the most...
因为你是...
awesome church administrator I've ever had.
我遇到过的最棒的教堂助理
Buddy, you're so sweet.
巴迪你真是太窝心了
Just when life knocks me down,
生活给了我沉重的打击
you pick me right back up.
你让我立马精神抖索
Are these rubies?
这是红宝石的?
Yeah.
那必须的
But they're yours now.
不过现在它是你的了
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, my god.
噢噢啊! 哦我的天
I'm terribly sorry.
我真是太抱歉了
Look what I've done.
看我♥干♥的好事
It's just water.
不过是水而已
I've had a lot worse things spilled on me.
我可让更糟的东西泼过
Oh. Well, here. Here.
哦好吧给这个
Please.
请用
Oh, just when I thought
哦刚刚我还想
there were no more gentlemen in the world.
这个世界上再也没有绅士了
Thanks.
谢谢你
My pleasure.
我的荣幸
You know,
你知道吗
you have the bluest eyes I've ever seen.
你拥有我所见过的最蓝的双眸
Pastor Barlow,
巴罗牧师
this is difficult for me to say.
这对我来说很困难
I understand.
我理解
Death's a bummer.
死亡是个沉重的打击
Just let it out,my suffering lamb.
说出来吧我可怜的人儿
Your assistant Dora stole my Aunt Ruby's necklace.
你的助手朵拉偷了我家露比姨的项链
I'm going to the police.
我可要报♥警♥了
Charlotte.
夏洛特
I think you're mistaken.
我觉得你一定是误会了
Dora's the most honest person I know.
朵拉是我见过的最实诚的人
Pastor,I know what I saw.
牧师我知道我瞅见了啥
She was wearing Aunt Ruby's necklace.
她就戴着露比姨的项链
It's a one of-a-kind priceless heirloom.
这可是绝无仅有的无价祖传宝贝
I'll give you "heirloom."
不过是个"祖传遗物"
Excuse me?
你说什么?
Look.
你看
There's no reason to go to the police.
咱没必要去找警♥察♥叔叔的
Trust me.
相信我
I was the last one to leave the funeral home,
我是最后一个离开殡仪馆的
and I promise,the necklace
而且我保证我走的时候
was still on Aunt Ruby when I left.
项链还在露比姨的脖子上
It's not that I don't believe you, Reverend,
牧师不是我不相信你
but I would like to see that for myself.
但是我想自己看看
And you will.
你可以的
Tell you what.
这么着吧
Tomorrow morning,
明天早上
before we stick Ruby in the ground,
在露比入葬以前
how about we pop the casket
我们把棺材打开
and give you a look-see?
让你看一眼怎么样?
Well, that would give me peace of mind.
这样也好这能让我心里踏实一点
And give me a chance to stay out of prison.
也能让我别掉进局子里去
Hey, world's most awesome church administrator,
嗨世界上最棒的教堂助理
whatcha doin'?
你干啥去?
Oh, I'm just crocheting some ponchos
哦我准备在我的网店里
for my online store.
卖♥♥一些我纯手工编制的斗篷
Hey, do you want to try one on?
嘿你不来穿上试试?
They're unisex.
这可是中性的
My least favorite kind of sex.
这可是我最不喜欢的一种性别
So I see you're wearing my little gift.
我看到你戴着我给你的小礼物
Oh, I haven't taken it off since you gave it to me.
哦从你送给我以后我都没摘下来过
Yeah, you know,I've been thinking.
是啊你知道我一直在想
I just went out and got that
我就这么出去买♥♥了这个
without even asking if you like old lady necklaces.
都没问你是不是喜欢这种老掉渣的款式的项链
So if you want me to exchange it for something cooler--
所以如果你想让我把它换成更潮一点的...
Are you kidding me?
你开啥玩笑?
Seven years I worked for Reverend Willis,
老娘给威利斯牧师忙活了整整七年
and the only thing he gave me was pink eye.
他给我的却只是白眼
Now, I know it's kind of soon to say this, but you, sir--
可是我知道现在说这个有点早但是你
Best.
是有史以来
Boss.
最棒的
Ever.
老板
Guilty as charged.
我真是太罪过了
It's open.
门是开着的
I'm in a rush.
我赶时间
Can I get the coffee maker for the fundraiser?
我能借用下咖啡机吗募捐活动用的
Yes, just please figure-eight the cord when you're done. Unlike last time.
可以就是用完时候记得"完璧归赵". 不要像上次一样
Did you make these?
你自己做的这些吗?
They are beautiful.
真漂亮
I mean a-Dora-ble.
我是说 "朵"-好看
Thank you.
谢谢~
I mean, I used a cross-stitch
我是说我用了交叉线
and a double crochet,and then I--
还有双股线然后我还...
They'd be perfect for the fashion show.
它们正好可以在时尚秀上用
I don't know what to say.
我鸡冻的都不知道说啥了
You never like any--
你从来都不喜欢任何...
Um...
恩...
Great.How many do you want?
好吧你要多少?
I'll take them all.
我全要了
Oh, well, just let me check my pending orders.
哦好吧让我看看我还没发货的订单
Yep, you are in luck.
好吧你真幸运
Great.
棒极了
Thank you. Yeah.
谢谢你嗯