燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S05E22

Part 3 May 4, 2020, 1:38 p.m.

她会炒掉对此事负有责任的人
She's going to fire the person responsible.
梅米·苏·约翰逊
Mamie Sue Johnson.
梅米·苏·约翰逊
Mamie Sue Johnson.
是我
That's me.
你居然学克里斯·克里斯蒂玩"大桥门"
You Chris Christie'd me!
恶搞新州州长关闭乔治华盛顿大桥陷害政敌事后开除助手事件
政♥治♥就是这样的
It's just politics.
既然我被炒了我就应该走了
You know, if I am fired, I should go.
没必要开车送我回家
No need to drive me home.
我就坐你把我甩到车底的公车好了[意为背黑锅]
I'll take the bus you threw me under.
大部分的肿胀在你的嘴里
Most of the swelling is on the inside of your mouth.
其余部分我化得像辛迪·克劳馥的美人痣
The rest I made look like a Cindy Crawford beauty mole.
在灯光下一切都可以隐藏
Well, with lighting, you can hide anything.
有谣言说伊娃·门德斯是驼背
Rumor has it, Eva Mendes has a hunchback.
这谣言是你传开的
You started that rumor.
根本没有变成我想要的结果
And it never caught on the way I'd hoped.
我们只需要把所有蜡烛移到
Well, we just need to move all the candles
我更上镜的脸这边
to the good side of my face.
小心
Careful.
你的发胶让空气中
There's a lot of chemicals in the air
有不少化学物质可能会引起...
from your hair spray, and it could catch on--
我知道我知道
I know. I know.
我不该空着肚子喝酒
I shouldn't drink on an empty stomach.
但我妈不在我想怎样就怎样
But my mom's not here, so I can do what I want.
你对着酒杯说完没呀
If you're done talking to your wine glass,
我还要看电视呢
I'm trying to hear the tv.
看我想要公布选举结果了
Oh, look, I think they're going to say who won.
在点清了80%的投票后在此宣布
With 80% of the votes counted, we are calling
竞争激烈的第十区市议员
the hotly contested tenth council district race
当选人为爱尔卡·奥斯特洛夫斯基
for Elka Ostrovsky.
你赢了
You won!
我赢了吗
I won?
你们叫什么呀
What's all the screaming about down here?
爱尔卡赢了
Elka won.
恭喜了
Oh, congratulations.
你们楼上在叫什么
Hey, what's all the screaming about up there?
维多利亚被蜜蜂蛰了
Oh, Victoria got stung by a bee,
她的头发着火了
and her hair caught on fire,
不过不会有事的
but it's all going to be fine.
我们得知前议员鲍威尔
We're told that ex-councilman Powell
会马上致电奥斯特洛夫斯基表示输得心服口服
will be calling Ostrovsky soon to graciously concede.
鲍威尔
Hey, Powell.
不你去死
No, you go to hell.
不你去死
No, you go to hell.
不你去死
No, you go to hell!
头巾的效果太好了
The turban totally works.
让你的病情透出经典的好莱坞复古魅力
It sells your illness with classic old hollywood glamour.
也许我会开创潮流
So I might start a trend?
当然为啥不行
Sure. Why not?
还有一小时放松时间
Well, we have an hour to relax.
看下转播
Check out the live feed.
看看颁奖到哪里了
Let's see what's going on at the oscars.
奥斯卡颁奖礼马上回来
The academy awards will be right back
稍后要颁的是最佳音效剪辑
with the awards for best sound editing...
真够无聊的我们还有时间
Total snoozefest. We got time.
以及最佳女配角
And best actress in a supporting role.
什么已经到了吗
What? Already?
我的天
Oh, my god.
你说你的奖项至少还有一小时
You told us your category wasn't up for another hour.
这是他们告诉我的
No, well, that's what they told me.
他们说是5点半
They said it would be on at 5:30.
既然俄亥俄州和那边
And since there's a four-hour time difference
有四小时时差
between actual time and Ohio time--
是三小时你这个脑残女演员
It's a three-hour difference, you cotton-headed actress.
老天我随时都会上镜头了
Oh, god! I could be on camera any second.
我好紧张我需要红酒
I'm nervous. I need wine.
不我也可能上镜我需要红酒
No. I could be on camera too. I need wine.
这下我该怎么办
What the hell am I gonna do?
就要颁我的奖项了
They're about to announce my category.
别慌
Don't panic.
把外套反过来就行了
We'll just turn your jacket around.
还记得席琳·迪翁
Remember when Celine Dion
反穿着男式礼服去参加奥斯卡吗
wore that backwards tux to the oscars?
她看起来像精神不太正常的宴席承办商
She looked like a mentally challenged caterer.
是但是一个漂亮性感年轻的
Yes, but a gorgeous, sexy, young
精神不太正常的宴席承办商
mentally challenged caterer.
继续说
I'm listening.
这项荣誉我要与我的助理音效剪辑师
I share this award with my assistant sound editor
以及最好的朋友切尔西·梅耶斯分享
and best friend, Chelsea Myers.
没有你我无法得奖
I couldn't have won without you.
没有梅米·苏我也赢不了
I couldn't have won without Mamie Sue.
没有你胜出一点乐趣也没有
And winning wouldn't be fun without you.
你是对的闷死人的音效男
You're right, boring sound guy.
最重要的我要感谢我的母亲
Most of all, I want to thank my mother.
妈妈我愿付出一切只希望今晚你能在场
Mom, I'd give anything to have you here with me tonight.
这是献给你的拥抱你们的母亲吧各位
This is for you. Hug your moms, everyone.
闷死人的音效男说的没错
Now boring sound guy is right about me.
我没办法拥抱我的妈妈因为我把她赶跑了
But I can't hug my mom because I chased her away.
你知道我怪谁吗
And you know who I blame?
你自己吗
Yourself?
不
No.
她
Her.
女人的理想模样
And this-- this unrealistic idea
根本是不切实际的想法
of what women are supposed to be.
我怪她怪好莱坞
I blame her and--and hollywood
怪这个社会
and--and society!
除了我我怪所有人
Everyone but me!
你应该吃点东西
You should eat something.
艾薇·约翰逊《此后的夜晚》
Ivy Johnson for Night of the hereafter.
快点
Hurry up.
还会看到袖子上的红酒印吗
Can you still see the wine stains on my sleeves?
不没事我把袖子系在后面
No. It's okay. I'll just tie them behind you.
维多利亚·蔡斯《克利夫兰狂想曲》
And Victoria Chase for Cleveland Rhapsody.
老天到我了快点
Oh, god. That's me. Hurry.
好了没事了
It's done. You're good.
我的胳膊动不了
I can't move my arms.
我看起来像是穿着精神病拘束衣吗
Do I look like I'm wearing a straitjacket?
不你让人惊艳
No. You're stunning.
获得奥斯卡的是海伦·米伦
And the oscar goes to Helen Mirren.
以及维多利亚·蔡斯
And Victoria Chase.
什么
What?
平手
It's a tie!
你赢了
You won!
红灯亮了
The red light's on!
我们已经上电视了
We've been on tv the whole time.
我的天
Oh, my god.
乔依也被蜜蜂蛰了吗
Did Joy get stung by a bee too?
那是她的咪♥咪♥
That's her breast.
看这些观众对她们指手画脚
And look at that audience-- judging them.
我审判你们这些排骨精
Well, I'm judging all of you skinny bitches!
我判你们有罪
And I find you guilty!
我的天我的天
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
谢谢学院
Thank you, academy.
停下停下乔治·克鲁尼
Stop it. Stop it, George Clooney.
对不起
I'm sorry.
乔治·克鲁尼在上我大腿
George Clooney is humping my leg.
是这样的它被我的培根味吸引了
'Cause you see, he's attracted to my bacon smell.
因为它是狗
Because he's a dog.
乔治·克鲁尼是只狗
George Clooney is a dog.
我没疯
I'm not crazy!
护士给全美观众看看乔治·克鲁尼