燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S05E08

Part 1 May 4, 2020, 1:36 p.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》于摄影棚观众前现场录制
Hot in Clevelandis recorded in front of a live studio audience.
打扰下我们点的东西还要多久才能上来
Excuse me. Do you know how much longer our order's gonna be?
我预约了做放射治疗不能迟到
I have a radiation appointment that I can't be late for.
真的很遗憾
Oh, I'm so sorry.
我姐姐最近也经历了放射治疗
My sister just went through that.
你们前面还有好几个人点的单
Look, there are a bunch of orders ahead of yours,
但我会帮你们挪到前面的而且是免费提供
but I'll push yours through, and it's on the house.
谢谢你
Wow, thank you.
她还想要一壶啤酒
She'd like a pitcher of beer too.
一个杯子
One glass.
其实梅兰妮
You know, Melanie,
如果你不是这么好的一个人
if you weren't such a nice person--
我就是一个好人
but I am a nice person.
我不是你说吧
I'm not, tell me.
我只是说梅兰妮并没有
Well, I'm just saying, Melanie's not capitalizing
利用脑瘤获得额外好处
on all the brain tumor perks out there.
维多利亚那太恶劣了
Victoria, that's terrible.
不不她说得对
No, no, she's right.
你真该看看我妈当年是怎么利用
You should see the way my mother
乳腺癌"榨取汁水"的
milked her breast cancer.
或许用词不太对
Maybe there's a better way to put that.
好吧但我如果利用肿瘤获取好处
Yeah, but if I use my tumor to get stuff,
那我不就是个坏人了嘛
doesn't that make me a bad person?
你没看到那个女人脸上的笑容吗
Did you see the smile on that woman's face?
你让她这一天都过得很开心
You made her day.
如果你不成为坏人那才是真的坏人呢
You're being a bad person if you're not a bad person.
好吧我都不知道该用这病来获取什么
Yeah, but, you know, I don't even know what I'd use it for.
你一直不停提到的那个蔡斯·杰克逊
What about those Chase Jackson tickets
演唱会门票怎么样
you've been going on and on about?
但已经售完了啊
But it's sold out.
你觉得如果我写信给他诉说我的情况
Hey, do you think if I wrote him about my condition,
我会获得票吗
I could maybe get some tickets?
你这才叫好好利用脑瘤呢
Now you're using your brain tumor.
我在想那个脑瘤
You know, I wonder if
对我们大家来说会不会都是好事
the tumor could be a good thing for all of us,
而不只是梅兰妮
not just Melanie.
那可不是什么好事
Well, it hasn't exactly been a good thing.
不不我的社交媒体顾问
No, no, no, my social media consultant
说我的推特太以自我为中心了
says that my tweets are too self-involved.
如果我让我的粉丝们
But what if I asked all my followers
为我生病的朋友梅兰妮
to send all their thoughts and prayers
献上祈祷和祝福怎么样
to my sick friend Melanie?
然后他们就会知道我是个关爱他人的好朋友
And then they'd know that I was a caring, sympathetic friend.
维多利亚谢谢你
Victoria, thank you--
现在别说话梅兰妮我在发推文
not now, Melanie, I'm tweeting.
不知道你的脑瘤能不能给我带来一些好处呢
I wonder if there's something in that tumor swag bag for me.
瞧瞧那个年轻的帅小伙
Ooh, look at that cute young guy.
我得去试试
I'm gonna try something.
梅兰妮当我指着你时
Melanie, when I point to you,
一定要表现得忧伤可悲
look sad and pathetic.
很完美
Perfect.
但我还没开始演呢
But I wasn't doing it yet.
抱歉
Oh, pardon me.
我有点心不在焉分了神
I'm just a little distracted and out of it.
我在担心我的朋友
I'm worried about my friend.
她患了脑瘤
She has a brain tumor.
我很遗憾
Wow, I'm sorry.
她会没事吗
Is she gonna be okay?
我们还不知道
We don't know.
如果有什么事或者什么人
If only something or someone
能帮我忘记悲伤就好了哪怕只是片刻
could help me forget, even for a moment.
我真不敢相信
I can't believe it.
我关于梅兰妮的推文被狂赞和转发
My Melanie tweet has been favorited and retweeted.
大家都在献祈祷
Oh, everyone's sending out their prayers.
这些祈祷很有用我已经感觉好多了
And those prayers are working, because I feel better already.
等等等等
Oh, wait, wait.
这儿有一条恶毒的
Ooh, here's a nasty one.
谁会写出这么恶毒的话啊
Now who would write something like that?
我有约会对象了
I have a date.
谁能想到 "我朋友患了脑瘤"
Who knew, "my friend has a brain tumor"
是如此出色的搭讪利器
was such a killer pickup line?
它提高了我的社交媒体活跃度
Ahh, it's improved my social media,
乔依搭到了一个汉子
Joy's got a date.
真遗憾我们没在脑瘤早期阶段好好利用一下
It's a shame that we didn't catch this tumor in its earlier stages.
天啊
Oh, my God.
它又回来了
It's back.
什么又回来了
What's back?
烤汁猪排堡
The mcrib.
烤汁猪排堡又回来了
The mcrib is back.
烤汁猪排堡是什么
What the hell is a mcrib?
是一种仅在有限时间才有卖♥♥的三明治
It's this sandwich that's only available for a very limited time.
而且你永远不知道它什么时候回归市场
And you never know when it's coming back.
你是怎么知道的
Well, how did you know?
我装了一款APP
I have an app.
爱尔卡我真不敢相信你竟然会
Elka, I can't believe that you've been suckered in
相信这种荒谬的营销手段
by this ridiculous marketing ploy.
谁会在乎烤汁猪排堡有没有回来
Who cares if the mcrib is back?
烤汁猪排堡回来了吗
The mcrib is back?
瞧瞧你干了什么好事
Now see what you've done?
大家都知道了
Everybody knows.
我真不懂怎么会有人对
Well, I just don't understand
满是酱汁的廉价肉感到兴奋不已
how anybody can get excited about some sauced-up piece of cheap meat.
我也不懂
I can't either.
但乔依这块"廉价肉"照样有人约啊
But Joy got the date.
梅兰妮你的脑瘤简直是天赐神物
Melanie, your tumor is a godsend.
世上最棒的男人回应了我的同情推文
Ah, the most wonderful man responded to my sympathy tweet.
我昨晚大半夜的还在跟他网聊
Oh, I was up half the night, chatting with him online.
他名叫尼克·洛根
His name is Nick Logan.
他是一个充满诗意的牛仔
He's a poetic cowboy
住在怀俄明州的一个农场
who lives on a ranch in Wyoming,
剧透一下那地方在美国
which--spoiler alert-- is in America.
猜猜谁要跟
Guess who's going out
克利夫兰的首席晨间DJ出去约会了
with Cleveland's number one morning dj.
你利用我的脑瘤钓到的那个家伙吗
Oh, the guy you picked up with my brain tumor?
是啊我们昨晚玩得好开心
Yeah, we had a great time last night.
原来他是交通频道的晨间主播
Turns out, he's the morning drive time guy for WJVB.
这种感觉真好男人4点半从你卧室里溜出去
Oh, it's so nice to have a guy sneak out of your bedroom at 4:30
因为他是真的要去工作而非逃跑
because he has an actual job to get to.
等等你说的是"贱♥人♥帮"的那个美男托德吗
Wait, you're talking about Todd the bod from the jackass gang?
是啊你听那个电台吗
Yeah. You listen to that?
我是"贱♥人♥帮"的铁杆粉丝
I'm a jackass junkie.
他的节目正在播呢
His show's on right now.
那个姑娘性感火♥辣♥吗
So this girl was hot?
辣得冒烟迷死人的英国口音
Smokin' hot. Killer English accent.
她的身体...
And her body...
那是在说我他们为我播了逗趣音
That's me. I'm causing the boner sound.
但是当她进了洗手间时
But check it, when she went to the bathroom,
我偷偷看了一眼她的身份证
I snuck a look at her I.D.
不好
Oh, no.
我以为我是在干一个辣妈呢
I thought I was banging a hot milf,
结果却是在"骑"黛西小姐
instead I was riding Miss Daisy.
典出电影《为黛西小姐开车》
影片中的黛西是一位年纪72岁的老龄妇女
美男托德你死定了
Todd the bod, you are a dead man.
是我的医生打来的
It's my doctor.
等的就是这通电♥话♥
Ooh. Well, this is the call.
我最后一次放疗也做完了
I had my last radiation treatment,
现在是知道结果的时候了
and now the test results are in.
我好怕
I'm scared.
不管发生什么事
Okay, whatever happens,
我们都会在你身边支持你的
we're all here for you.