燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S05E17

Part 1 May 4, 2020, 1:37 p.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》于摄影棚观众前现场录制
Hot in cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
小美女们你们好
Hello, my lovelies.
这些日子你真开心
Aw, you're lookin' happy these days.
是因为米奇
It's Mitch.
我们本应在楼上工作
We're supposed to be working upstairs,
但我就是忍♥不住对他上下其手
but I just can't keep my hands off him.
在你的大手映衬下他一定显得好娇小
Ah, he must look so tiny in those hands.
他有些害羞
Now, he's a bit shy about it,
我向他保证我不会告诉你们
so I promised him I wouldn't tell you
我们刚才做♥爱♥了
we were having sex.
我们想的说辞是我们睡了个午觉
The story is, we were taking a nap.
老天我得告诉你们
Oh, boy, I got to tell you.
在床上睡一觉真是舒服极了
There is nothing better than hitting the old sack.
可理解为和老女人睡一觉舒服极了
人家有名字的好吧
She has a name.
我们得去工作了
Well, we better get to work.
我们得去抓出轨的丈夫
We have to catch a cheating husband in the act.
我要引他上钩
I'm the honey trap.
听起来真让人不舒服
Guess that sounds a bit seedy.
不听起来好兴奋
No, it sounds so exciting.
你们就是现实版的《哈特夫妇》
It's like you guys are the real-life Hart to Hart
或《斯蒂尔传奇》
or Remington Steele
或《蓝色月光侦探社》
or Moonlighting.
我好喜欢这些电视剧
I just love all those shows.
其实我不喜欢看着乔依
Well, I don't exactly love watching Joy
去引诱别的男人
seduce another man.
我也觉得别扭
Well, it's uncomfortable for me too,
我知道你在看
knowing you're watching.
我去
I can do it.
美人计由我上
I could be the honey trap.
你去做这种丢人现眼的事
Well, the thought of you demeaning yourself
乔依不用去我觉得挺好的
instead of Joy is appealing to me.
我不在乎你有什么事
I wouldn't care what happened to you.
瞧你米奇
Oh, Mitch.
8点在酒吧碰头
Meet us at the bar at 8:00.
穿些丢人现眼的衣服
Wear something demeaning.
没问题
Okay, you got it.
我日程上今天的内容
I have the most puzzling note
非常让我困惑
on my calendar today.
托尼[奖]要来
"Tony arrives."
我是参演了百老汇大剧然后失忆了吗
Was I in a broadway smash and I'm blanking it out?
托尼是你的儿子
Tony's your son.
你总是忘记的那个
The one you always forget.
当然了
Oh, of course.
老天超棒的托尼
Oh, dear, wonderful Tony.
我不是有意要忘记他的
Oh, you know, I don't mean to forget him.
只是在离婚后
It's just that, well, he chose to live
他选择和他父亲一起生活
with his father after the divorce,
很难经常联♥系♥他
and it's been hard keeping in touch.
他真是一个风雅热情走在时尚前沿的孩子
He's such an artistic, exuberant, fashion-forward boy.
你可以说"同志"
You can say, "gay."
爱尔卡你这是中西部成见
Elka, that is total midwestern stereotyping.
没错他是同志
But yeah, he's gay.
他比那些得托尼奖的人都更有同志味
Gayer than the Tonys,
我想所以我赢不了吧
which I guess I didn't win.
我真希望也有一个同志儿子
Wish I had a gay son.
直男儿子总是会为了年轻女人舍你而去
Straight sons will always leave you for a younger woman.
没错真是太棒了
Yeah, it is fabulous.
那小子在会走路前
Oh, that boy could tie an hermes scarf
就会系爱马仕丝巾了
before he could walk.
是我漂亮的托尼
It's my gorgeous Tony.
我的天是我漂亮的姐姐
Oh, my god, it's my gorgeous sister.
以前在家叫妈妈就会被罚一块钱
saying the word "mother" always cost us a dollar at our house.
你记得梅兰妮吧
You remember Melanie.
-梅兰妮 -亲爱的
- Melanie... - Hi, sweetie.
你还是这么漂亮
As beautiful as ever.
这位是爱尔卡
This is Elka.
不可能啊
It can't be.
你说你和一位老太太住在一起
You said you were living with an older woman.
这犹如春之气息的是谁啊
Who's this breath of spring?
我也要个这样的
I want one.
妈希望你别介意
Oh, mom, I hope you don't mind,
我带了一个人
but I brought someone with me.
我是贾斯汀托尼的合伙人[伴侣]
I'm Justin, Tony's partner.
很高兴见到你托尼的伴侣
Oh, well, nice to meet you, Tony's partner.
你俩在一起多久了
How long have you two been together?
差不多六个月了对吗伙计
About six months now. Right, dude?
对
Right.
我们的行李放哪里
Where can I put our stuff?
走道尽头就是客房♥
The guest room is just down the hall.
我们庆祝吧我去拿香槟
Let's celebrate. I'll get champagne.
托尼维多利亚刚谈到你还骄傲得很
Oh, Tony, victoria's just so proud of you.
我们还在说我们很嫉妒
We were just saying we're jealous
因为我们没有同志儿子
that we don't have gay sons.
只是有一个问题
Yeah, there's just one problem.
什么
What?
我不是同志
I'm not gay.
托尼什么叫你不是同志啊
Tony, what do you mean you're not gay?
我小时候
Look, when I was little,
我妈武断地认为我是同志
my mom just assumed that I was gay.
我知道如果告诉她真♥相♥ 会要了她的命
And I knew it would kill her if I told her the truth.
假扮很容易因为我一直
It was easy to pretend because I've always been
对时尚与戏剧很有兴趣
interested in fashion and theater.
我知道如何打扮
You know, I know how to dress,
如果选择好的红酒
how to pick out a good bottle of wine.
我能怎么说呢我是弗雷泽式直男
What can I say? I'm Fraser straight.
弗雷泽和奈尔斯兄弟是经典喜剧《欢乐一家亲》主角品味非常高大上
也许更像是奈尔斯式直男[他比弗雷泽娘一些]
Maybe more like Niles straight.
托尼
Tony?
我只能找到格鲁耶尔干酪
The only cheese I could find is gruyere.
格鲁耶尔干酪味道浓郁
Well, gruyere is an assertive cheese
外层味道奇巧厚重
with a mischievous, bloomy rind.
加一点蜂蜜
Just drizzle some honey,
和少许的核桃末
add a soupcon of crushed walnuts,
就像Liza中有Z这个字母一样
and as sure as there's a "z" in Liza,
你的味蕾将被深深刺♥激♥
your bouche will be amused.
累死了
It's exhausting.
亲爱的我不明白
Honey, I don't understand.
那你的伴侣贾斯汀呢
What about Justin, your partner?
他是我生意上的合伙人
He's my business partner.
我们是软件工程师
We're software engineers.
我们来克利夫兰说服我妈
We came to Cleveland to persuade my mom
投资我们开♥发♥的一个应用
to invest in a new app we're developing.
还有其他人知道你不是同志吗
Oh, well, does anyone else know you're not gay?
大家都知道
Everyone knows.
我只是得跟我妈出柜
I just have to come out to my mom.
应该是进柜吧
Maybe that might be "come in."
不管是出还是进她肯定伤心死了
In, out--either way, she's gonna be devastated.
能帮我保守秘密直到我找到合适的时机
Will you keep my secret until I can find the right time
告诉她吗
to break it to her?
好我可以告诉乔依吗
Yeah. Ooh, can I tell Joy?
乔依阿姨在喝酒时依然话多吗
Does aunt Joy still get talky when she drinks?
印第安人队总是在七月崩溃吗
Do the Indians always collapse in July?
他们的赛区挺难打的
They're in a tough division.
见鬼你还真是直的啊
Hot damn! You are straight.
托尼我觉得你应该尽快
Tony, I think you should tell your mother
告诉你妈妈真♥相♥
the truth as soon as possible.
不要伪装诚实对人总是最好的
It's always best to stop pretending and be honest.
现在我要失陪了
Now, if you'll excuse me,
我要去骗一个男人喜欢上我
I got to go trick a man into liking me
拆散他的婚姻
and break up his marriage.