燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S05E17

Part 4 May 4, 2020, 1:37 p.m.

谁想第一个为幸福情侣祝酒
So who wants to be the first to toast the happy couple?
梅兰妮
Melanie?
对不起维多利亚
I'm sorry, Victoria, I just--
我觉得挺别扭的
I don't feel comfortable doing that.
是的
Oh, that's right.
你是个愤怒的恐同者
You're a raging homophobe.
爱尔卡你呢
Elka, how about you?
托尼知道我的感受
Oh, Tony knows how I feel.
又一次得由我救场了
Well, once again, I have to save the day.
托尼贾斯汀我好骄傲好开心
Tony, Justin, I am so proud and happy.
我想与全世界分享
I just want to share this with the world.
朋友们粉丝们吃饭的人们
Friends, fans, fellow diners,
我有件天大的喜事我必须当众宣布
I have an announcement so major I am fairly bursting.
我的同志儿子托尼要结婚了
My gay son Tony is getting married.
我知道这对于你们有些人来说很震惊
Now I know that that may come as a shock
毕竟你们
to some of you here
身处落后省份克利夫兰
in the backward province of Cleveland.
不会啊我们没意见
No, it doesn't. We're fine with it.
瞧我改变思想和观念啊
Well, look at me, changing hearts and minds.
请大家喝香槟
Champagne for everyone.
他们要你们接吻
Oh, they want you to kiss.
两秒不准舌吻
Two seconds, no tongue.
我要保时捷
I want my porsche.
妈对不起
Mom, I'm sorry!
我不能结这个婚
I can't go through with this wedding.
为什么我做了什么
Why not? What did I do?
我能改
I can change.
那么
So, uh...
你什么时候知道你是直男的
When did you realize you were straight?
我想内心深处我一直知道
Hm, I guess a part of me always knew.
也许我内心深处也一直知道
Maybe a part of me always knew too.
哇我有个不是同志的儿子
Wow...I have a non-gay son.
我想我必须习惯告诉大家
I guess I'm just going to have to get used to telling
我的儿子喜欢
people that my son likes...
女人
Women.
不是女人而是一个特定的女人
Well, not women. A woman.
我有个非常棒的女友
I have this gorgeous girlfriend and--
别说细节我还没准备好接受这个
All right, no details, I'm not there yet.
我知道要接受的太多
I know it's a lot to process.
是啊
Yeah.
现在我们对彼此
Well, now that we're being totally honest
都说实话了
with each other, um...
你当初选择和你父亲一起生活是因为你觉得
Did you choose to live with your father because you thought
我无法接受你是直男吗
I couldn't accept your being straight?
不我选择爸是因为他更需要我
No, I chose dad because he needed me more.
尽管对一个孩子来说照管父母
And even though it's probably not healthy for a kid
也许对身心健康不好但我是这样做的
to take care of his parent, that's what I did.
你更坚强
You were stronger.
我的好儿子
Oh, my sweet boy.
你为什么不和我联♥系♥呢
Well, why didn't you keep in touch?
我知道如果我联♥系♥你我就想离开爸
'Cause I knew if I did, I'd want to leave dad
和你一起生活
and come live with you.
我在避免伤害
I was avoiding the hurt.
有时候我会假装你根本不存在
Sometimes I would pretend you didn't even exist.
我也这样做
Oh, I did the same thing.
-真的吗 -是的
- Really? - Yeah.
这么说我们一样可怕
Ah, so we're equally horrible.
是的
Yeah, we are.
我爱你亲爱的
Oh, I love you, sweetie.
我也爱你妈
I love you too, mom.
你得交一块钱
That'll cost you a dollar.
-米奇 -乔依
- Mitch? - Joy?
你在这里做什么
What are you doing here?
我不相信这个医生
I don't trust this doctor.
我来找他见不得光的事
I'm here to dig up some dirt on him.
-我也是 -你瞧
- Me, too. - You see?
我们对别人的这种共同的不信任
It's our mutual distrust of people
一直让我觉得我们很相配
that always made me think we were compatible.
我也是
Me, too.
我们开始吧
Shall we?
我的天
Oh, my god.
他给我们的这个相配度测试
That compatibility test he gave us?
是从Buzzfeed网上抄的
Got it off buzzfeed.
这和那些傻傻的
This is no different than those silly
"你是迪士尼哪个角色"测试没区别
"What disney character are you?" quizzes.
我喜欢那个你是哪个
I love those. Who did you get?
茉莉公主
Jasmine.
阿♥拉♥丁[两人在《阿♥拉♥丁》中是一对]
Aladdin.
你知道这意味着什么吗
Do you know what this means?
知道
Yes.
我们很相配他是个骗子
We're a match, and he's a fraud.
米奇我不在乎现实
Oh, Mitch, I don't care about reality.
我要我们的童话爱情
I want our fairy tale relationship.
我也是
I do, too.
什么情况
What's going on in here?
如果我们说我们闯了进来
What would you say if we said we broke in
发现你是个骗子你会怎么说
and found out what a fraud you are?
我会说我要报♥警♥
I'd say I was calling the police.
如果我们说我们会告诉你所有的病人
Well, what would you say if we said that we're gonna tell
你的测试题目是从哪里抄来的你会怎么说
all your other patients where you get your quizzes?
我会说
I'd say...
你们完事后锁好门
Lock up when you're finished.
你们是天生一对
You two deserve each other.
没错
We do.