燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S05E14

Part 1 May 4, 2020, 1:37 p.m.

《燃情克利夫兰》于摄影棚观众前现场录制
Hot in clevelandis recorded in front of a live studio audience.
瑞秋你和梅兰妮在高中时是最好的朋友吧
So, Rachel, you and Melanie were best friends in high school, huh?
我们只能紧密团结
Well, we had to be.
其他人都不愿意和我们做朋友
Nobody else was gonna be friends with us,
对吧臭屁妮
right, "smellanie"?
我现在就叫梅兰妮
I go by "Melanie" now.
你和汤姆的感情怎么样了
So, how are things with you and Tom?
已经完了
Oh, that's over.
他在迷你高尔夫球场被闪电击中之后
You know, after he got hit by lightning on the putt-putt golf course,
身体功能就完全丧失了
he lost control of all his functions,
不得不用史蒂芬·霍金用的那种装备来交流
and then he had to use that Stephen Hawking thing to communicate.
有天早晨他突然滚向我然后说
Then one morning, he just rolled up to me, and he said,
"我不再爱你啦"
"I don't love you anymore."
暴风雨越来越恐怖了
The storm is really getting worse.
希望维多利亚没事
I hope Victoria is gonna be okay.
我们的朋友维多利亚刚去海岛度完假
Our friend Victoria is flying home today
今天会飞回来
from an island vacation.
我们不需要担心乔依
We shouldn't worry, Joy.
我敢说她一定会没事的
I'm sure she's gonna be fine.
我看未必吧气象台预警说升级成超强风暴了
I don't know, they've upgraded it to a super storm.
代号♥为玛丽的超强风暴很多人都会死的
Super storm Mary. A lot of people are gonna die.
瑞秋没人会死的
Rachel, nobody is going to die.
我们都在劫难逃
We're all doomed!
爱尔卡只是恶劣风暴而已
Elka, it's just a bad storm.
没什么好担心的
It's nothing to worry about.
我有没有跟你们提过
Have I ever mentioned
这屋子里曾发生过一件可怕的凶杀案
there was a gruesome murder in this house?
什么
What?
恶鬼今夜将回
And the ghost is coming back tonight.
她说的谋杀案是真的
She's right about the murder.
我在去任何人家里之前
Before I go to anybody's house,
都会去"凶宅网"查看一下
I visit diedinhouse.com.
天啊果然是真的
Oh, my god, it's true.
到今天刚好是50周年
50 years ago to the day.
"狂风暴雨之夜" "女子被谋害身亡"
"Violently stormy night." "woman found murdered."
"案件至今未侦破"
"Case never solved."
"被害人名叫玛丽" 跟风暴代号♥一样
"Victim's name was Mary." Just like the storm.
所有的科学事实都对上了吧
See how the science is adding up?
她为什么要来找你寻仇呢
Wh--why would she be after you?
她以为我跟她男友有一腿
She thought I was having an affair with her boyfriend.
我感觉某种可怕的东西
I have a sense that at any moment,
随时都会破门而入
something horrible is gonna come through that door.
这也太荒唐了
Oh, this is silly.
是维多利亚啦她肯定忘了带钥匙
It's just Victoria. She forgot her keys.
肯定不是什么来自过去的食尸鬼来纠缠我们
It's not some ghoul from the past come to haunt us.
母亲
Mother!
你好瑞乔依娜
Hello, Rejoyla.
你跑到这儿来干什么
What are you doing here?
我的飞机被迫降了
My plane had to make an emergency landing,
多谢你们美国的天气啊
thanks to your American weather.
我正要去夏威夷岛呢
Was on my way to Hawaii.
夏威夷
Hawaii?
你讨厌大家都玩得开心的地方
You hate places where everyone's happy.
不丹尼尔已经改变我这一点了
No, Daniel's changed all that.
丹尼尔是谁
Who's Daniel?
这是丹尼尔·门罗我男友
This is Daniel Monroe, my boyfriend.
大家好啊
Hello, all.
你一定就是乔依吧
Ah, and you must be Joy.
-是的 -幸会
- Yes. - Pleasure.
别一副这么震惊的表情瑞乔依娜
Well don't look so shocked, Rejoyla.
没错他是比我年轻一些
Yes, he's a bit younger...
但我们很幸福
But we're very happy.
我们可以去哪儿梳洗一下呢
Now, where can we freshen up, dear?
这边请
Uh, right this way.
大家好啊
Oh, hello, everyone.
机场那边简直是个噩梦
The airport was a nightmare.
我虽然没看清她的脸
I didn't see her face,
但有个头发编成辫子的可笑女人
but there was this ridiculous woman with beaded hair
胡编乱唱引发一堆人围观
chanting and making a scene.
我回来啦
I'm back!
我和宇宙合为一体了
And I am one with the universe.
记得吗高中的时候
Remember, in high school,
我们都去做了大明星宝黛丽那种辫子
when we both got the Bo Derek hairdos,
男孩们说我们的姿色加在一起都不到10分
and the boys said that even together, we weren't a "10."
是啊 "美好"的时光
Yeah, good times.
说到好时候
Oh, and speaking of good times,
你现在上路可能是再好不过了
now would probably be a really good time for you to get on the road.
再等会儿就很危险了
I mean, before it gets dangerous.
你说的很对
Oh, you know, you're probably right.
我是该走了要开好久的车呢
I-I should go. I have a long drive home.
一路平安苦瓜脸天使
Safe travels, sour-faced angel.
说吧维多利亚什么情况这是
Okay, Victoria. What's going on?
我出去度假是因为我浑身都被
I went on vacation because I was so filled
奥斯卡奖项的压力压垮了
with stress about all that oscar nonsense.
但那座岛改变了一切
But the island changed everything.
这是全新的我
This is the new me.
你去做卡巴拉冥想信仰疗法时也说过同样的话
You said the same thing about kabbalah, and scientology,
还记得你假扮阿米什人的时候吗
and remember when you were amish?
阿米什人拒绝现代化追求纯朴乡村生活
但那些"新我"其实都是典型的旧我
But those "new mes" were so typical of the old me.
这回的"新我"是真正的"新我"
This new me is the real new me.
我跟我妈的男朋友上过床
I slept with my mother's boyfriend.
这就睡上了吗
Already?
不是好多年前的事了
No, it was decades ago.
我们都假装好像从没见过一样
And we're both acting like we never met,
但我们还能假装多久呢
but how long can we keep that up?
搞毛呢你
What the hell?
什么声音
What's that?
我从海岛带了个小纪念品回来
Oh, I brought back a little souvenir from the island.
容我向你们介绍奇儿
I give you, Chill.
这就是我的新家了呀
So, this is my new home.
我当时躺在沙滩上
I was on the beach,
试图抛开好莱坞娱乐圈的各种烦心事
trying to get all of my hollywood worries out of my head,
接下来不知怎么的
and the next thing I knew
这个美丽的男人手已经伸进了我的头发里
this beautiful man had his hands in my hair
不停地编啊织啊把他深刻的思想
and was braiding, and weaving, and filling my head
灌输进我的大脑中跟她们说一个吧
with his profound thoughts. Oh, tell them one!
别担心做人要开心一点
Don't worry, be happy.
所以我就不去担心能否赢得奥斯卡奖的事了
And so I no longer worry about winning an oscar.
我单纯享受开心
I just be happy.
你们都没听到我说了什么吗
Did nobody hear what I said?
我跟我妈的男友上过床
I slept with my mother's boyfriend!
女士女士
Lady, lady, la--
是女的吧
Lady, right?
最终每个人都会和每个人做♥爱♥
Everyone make love to everyone eventually.
最终我会和你们全部人做♥爱♥的
Eventually, I will make love to all of you.
我得上楼去了
Now I must go upstairs,
跟风暴带来的治愈离子靠的近一些
to be closer to the healing ions from the storm.
我知道你们都在想些什么
Oh, I know what all of you are thinking--
我找到我的灵魂伴侣了
I have found my soul mate.
是啊我们都是在想那个
Yeah, that's what we're all thinking.
不好意思你们介意我泡一壶茶吗
Um, excuse me, do you mind if I put on a pot of tea?
当然可以了
Of course.
-我来帮你 -谢谢
- I'll help you. - Oh, thank you.
丹尼尔
Daniel...
我们要怎么做才好
What are gonna do?
通常我会先放进茶叶
Well, normally I would put the tea leaves in first.
不我不是在说泡茶
No, not about the tea!
我是在说我们上过床的事
About the fact that we slept together.
什么我们才没上过床呢
What? We never slept together.
你不记得和我做过爱吗