燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S05E22

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 1:38 p.m.

我们都待在克利夫兰
We are all going to stay in Cleveland.
没人去颁奖礼
No one is going to the oscars.
拿来了
Here it is.
可贵了
It cost a fortune.
但从我小时候开始我就梦想着能去参加
But I've always dreamed of going to the academy awards
奥斯卡颁奖礼
ever since I was a little girl,
现在梦想成真了
and now that dream is coming true.
给乔依来块饼干吧
Here, Joy, have a cookie.
打扰下先生
Excuse me, sir.
这20块是你掉的吗
Did you drop this $20 bill?
投奥斯特洛夫斯基一票
"Vote Ostrovsky"?
听起来是个很好的建议
Sounds like good advice.
爱尔卡坏消息
Elka, bad news.
人们说鲍威尔议员买♥♥选票
People are saying councilman Powell
一票10块钱
is buying votes for $10 apiece.
我太气愤了
I'm appalled.
姐给了20
I've been paying 20.
还有更糟的
It gets worse.
他今晚会在利港举♥行♥一场大型的动员投票活动
He's holding a big "get out the vote" rally tonight in Port Lee.
这里距离利港只有一座桥对吗
There's only one bridge between here and Port Lee, right?
是的
Yes.
听起来通往利港的大桥是时候
Sounds like it's time for some traffic problems
来次大塞车了
on the bridge to Port Lee.
这真是个好主意维多利亚
This was a great idea, Victoria.
白天选举晚上奥斯卡颁奖
With elections today and the oscars tonight,
我想我们应该放飞思绪
I thought we should all free our minds
沉思于真正重要的东西
and meditate on what's really important.
胜利
Winning.
辉煌的胜利
Winning gloriously.
我不担心今晚的结果
I'm not worried about tonight.
爱尔卡做了件可怕的事
Elka did a terrible thing.
她制♥造♥了通往利港的大桥大塞车
She caused a traffic jam on the bridge to port lee.
她怎么做到的
How did she do that?
她给数千位老年人群发了邮件
She sent a mass email to thousands of seniors
说他们可以在那里看到天气频道中
saying that's where they could meet their favorite stars
他们最爱的明星
from the weather channel.
我还说如果他们付硬币
I also told them the bridge toll
过桥费只收一半
would be half price if they paid in pennies.
这面膜闻起来真美味
You know, this mask smells delicious.
鳄梨蜂蜜
Hmm, avocado and honey.
而且在脸上没有卡路里
And there's no calories if it's on your face.
为什么每次我要节食时
Why is it whenever I'm on a diet,
能想的就全是吃的
all I can think about is food?
几乎到了饥渴难耐的地步
It's almost lustful.
我看过一项研究说52%的女人
I saw a study that said that 52% of women
会选巧克力不选性♥爱♥
would choose chocolate over sex.
我永远不会对着巧克力条说
I sure never told a bar of chocolate
我太困了
I was too sleepy.
男人说他们喜欢曲线
You know, men say they love curves,
但他们的真心话是他们喜欢咪♥咪♥
but what they're really saying is, they love boobs.
如果索菲娅·维加拉的胸部脂肪在肚子上
If Sofia Vergara's breast fat was in her belly,
男人不会那么喜欢她的曲线
they wouldn't love her curves so much.
那对宝贝会下垂的
Those things are gonna sag.
大垂特垂
Big-time.
随时的事
Any day now.
我们为什么要这样做
And why do we do that?
如此苛刻地评价彼此
Judge each other so harshly,
被杂♥志♥上名人脂肪团的照片深深吸引
grab magazines with pictures of celebrity cellulite.
知道吗我们女人
You know what? We women--
我们需要创造一个无评价地带
We need to create a judgment-free zone.
真高兴你这么说梅兰妮
I'm so glad to hear you say that, melanie,
我一直想分享我的故事
because I've been wanting to share my story.
成长过程中我太瘦了
Growing up, I was so skinny.
我吃啊吃想吃什么吃什么
I'd eat and eat anything I wanted
却没有长过一盎司
and never put on an ounce.
到现在我保持体重都不容易
To this day, I have trouble keeping on weight.
芝士炸薯条巧克力红酒
Cheese, french fries, chocolate, wine--
吃什么都不长肉
They all fall right off.
说这些又不被人抛白眼真是太好了
Oh, it's so nice to say these things and not be judged.
梅兰妮到现在为止进展不错
You know, Melanie, we've been good so far,
还戴了踝部负重袋子
and we got the ankle weights on,
现在连呼吸都是锻炼
so even breathing's an exercise.
我们值得奖励一下
We deserve a treat.
来点优格糖霜
How about some frozen yogurt, sprinkles,
或是小熊糖怎么样
and maybe some gummy bears?
不妈我们在节食
No, mom. We're on a diet.
拜托
Come on.
小熊糖就是水果嘛
Gummy bears-- they're practically fruit.
我不会用食物来奖励自己
I am not gonna reward myself with food.
从我小时候开始你就一直这样做
You know, you've been doing that since I was a kid.
这全是我的错了吗
Oh, so it's all my fault.
总是妈妈的错
It's always the mother's fault.
不不全是你的错
No, it's not all your fault.
我只是说你没有帮我
I'm just saying you're not helping me.
如果我没有帮你
Well, if I'm not helping you,
那我就走吧
maybe I should get out of here.
妈别这样走掉
Mom, don't run away from me.
太迟了我走了
Too late. I'm out of here.
我追到你就走不了了
Yeah, well, not if I catch you.
那就试试看
Go ahead and try.
你们能相信她吃了面膜吗
Can you believe she ate her face mask?
我还没走呢
Still in the room.
真不敢相信奥斯卡颁奖夜到了
I can't believe it's Oscar night.
乔依真抱歉你不能穿礼服
Joy, I'm sorry you couldn't wear your gown.
但好消息是你的白色制♥服♥
But the good news is, the white of your uniform
将灯光反射到了我的头发上
is bouncing light into my hair.
真是好消息
That is good news.
都准备好了
Oh, it's all set.
可爱的护士在我身边
I have my lovely nurse by my side.
乔治·克鲁尼穿着可爱的狗狗燕尾服
And George Glooney will be sitting right here
坐在这里
in his adorable doggy tux,
乖乖别动哦我在腿上擦了点培根油
staying put because I put a little bacon grease on my leg.
把窗户打开一点好吗
Could you open that window just a skosh
这样烛光摇曳
so the candles flicker,
令我的眼神扑朔迷离
making my eyes dance?
如果我得奖我们都知道会的
Now, if I win-- and we all know I should--
摄像机上会出现红灯
A red light will appear on that camera,
会直接连到电视转播
which will be a direct feed to the network broadcast.
我看着崇拜我的粉丝以及轻视我的同行
I gaze at my adoring fans and despising peers,
发出短暂惊讶地喘息就像这样
make a quick gasp of surprise, like this...
蜜蜂
Bee!
-和你妈妈怎么样了 -非常糟
- How'd it go with your mom? - Oh, terrible.
她现在去机场了
She's on her way to the airport now.
我和想她理智地谈谈
You know, I tried to have a reasonable conversation
我平静地向她解释我的一切问题
where I calmly explained to her that she was the cause
都是她造成的不知怎地她生气了
of all my problems, and somehow she took offense.
有选举的消息吗
Any election news?
不分高低
It's neck and neck.
在说利港的事
They're talking about port lee.
大声点
Turn it up.
没人能解释原因
No one can explain why,
但通往利港的大桥上
but traffic is moving very, very slowly
车辆行驶的非常缓慢
on the bridge to port lee.
他们不可能怪我头上
They can't pin it on me.
我是梅米·苏·约翰逊
Mamie Sue Johnson.
是《老实人报》他们怪你
It's the plain dealer. They're pinning it on you.
他们有你发的邮件的副本
They have a copy of the port lee email.
告诉他们我之前对此事一无所知
Tell them I have no prior knowledge of this.
爱尔卡·奥斯特洛夫斯基之前对此事一无所知
Elka Ostrovsky had no prior knowledge of this.
她会炒掉对此事负有责任的人
She's gonna fire the person responsible.