燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S05E13

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 1:37 p.m.

Yeah, that's the guy.
我正在帮爱尔卡竞选市议会的议员
I'm helping Elka with her campaign for city council,
所以我就去寻求他的支持了
so I went to him for an endorsement,
对不起爱尔卡
and I'm sorry, Elka.
他拒绝了
He said no.
但我需要他的支持才能获胜啊
But I need his endorsement to win.
我极大地赞美了你
I sang your praises.
我表现得十分迷人
I mean, I was so charming,
他甚至约我出去
he even asked me out on a date.
但他会支持鲍威尔议员
But he is going to endorse councilman Powell.
周日就会见报了
It's gonna be in the paper on Sunday.
那今晚就跟他去约会搞定这一切啊
Well, then go out with him tonight and fix it.
你跟他约会的时候
And while you're out with him,
顺便请他让我做"人喂饱人"项目的代言人
ask him to make me the new spokesperson for people feeding people.
你敢相信这两个人吗
Can you believe these two?
简直就是让我去卖♥♥身
Basically asking me to prostitute myself.
卖♥♥吧
Do it.
今晚就上吧
Do it tonight.
我必须让米奇看到你已经有新欢了
I need Mitch to see that you've moved on.
带那个家伙去酒吧
Take this guy to the bar,
我把米奇也带过去
I'll bring Mitch,
他会看到你风♥骚♥勾引罗斯·巴克利
he'll see you being all prostitutey with Ross Barkley,
我会在场收拾残局的
and I'll be there to pick up the pieces.
你们都想让我跟那个家伙上♥床♥
So you want me to sleep with this guy
来实现你们各自的利益
to further all your selfish interests?
没人说让你做到上♥床♥那一步啊
No one said you had to sleep with him.
但你真要上我们也不会阻止的
But we're not forbidding it.
真"好"啊
Great.
你们总是这样对我
You know what, you guys always do this to me.
你们总是利用我的愧疚感让我
You guilt me into doing something
去做一些我根本不该做的事
that I shouldn't be doing.
你们这样耍我真的让我感情很受伤
And it really hurts my feelings that this is how you play me.
梅兰妮说得对
Melanie's right.
我孤独老死也没什么
It's okay if I die alone.
维多利亚永远拿不到奥斯卡也没什么
And Victoria never gets her oscar.
爱尔卡竞选失败也没什么
And surely Elka has
她还能再活92年呢
another 92 years to run for office.
重要的是你不必忍♥着和一个亿万富翁
The important thing is that you don't have to suffer
共进一顿晚餐
through one dinner with a billionaire.
真有你们的姐们儿这次行不通
Nice try, guys. Not this time.
五四三二
Five, four, three, two...
忘了她的脚伤了
Oh, forgot the foot.
三二
Three, two...
行吧我去
Fine. I'll do it!
谢谢你
Thank you.
伯纳对我说
So Bono says to me,
"罗斯你永远都不会用上直升机的"
"Ross, you're never gonna use the helicopter."
我觉得你已经跟我说过这事了
I think you told me that one already.
这是艘不同的游艇
This is a different yacht.
天啊
Oh, my god.
梅兰妮在这儿约会呢
Melanie's here on a hot date.
我之前一点都不知道
I had no idea.
如此一幕一定让你心痛地感觉到
What a painful and clear reminder to you
她已经掀开新篇章了
that she's moved on.
那个穿西装的老不死是谁
Who's that lug in the suit?
天啊
Oh, my.
那是罗斯·巴克利
That's Ross Barkley,
身家亿万的花♥花♥公♥子♥
the billionaire playboy.
她已经盯上他有一阵了
She's had her eye on him for a while.
既然你已经没可能赢回她了
Well, since there's no chance of winning her back,
我们还是去别的地方吧
we should go somewhere else.
湖边有个酒吧离这里不远
There's a wine bar on the lake not far from here.
不不不
No, no, no, no.
如果让我也重新开始
If I'm gonna move on,
我得先搞清楚她是不是真的喜欢这家伙
I need to figure out if she's really into this guy.
好吧但结果可能会令你伤心欲绝
Fine, but it could be devastating.
幸好我有赤♥裸♥的肩膀可以让你倚着哭泣
Luckily I have these very bare shoulders for you to cry on.
我们都想从罗斯·巴克利那里得到一些东西
So we both want something from Ross Barkley.
你希望获得他的支持参选市议会
You want his endorsement for city council,
而我想成为"人喂饱人"项目的代言人
and I want to be a spokesperson for people feeding people.
我们都能如愿以偿的机会是很小的
Now, the chances of both of us getting what we want are slim.
我知道
I know.
我先上
I'll go first.
不我先上
No, I'll go first.
行吧你先上
Fine, you go first.
等等你怎么这么轻易就让步了
Wait. Why did you give in so easily?
你认为他会拒绝我
You think he'll turn me down,
然后感到愧疚继而答应你的要求吗
and then he'll feel bad, and then he'll say yes to you?
我第二个上
I'll go second.
很好那我先上
Perfect. I'll go first.
你一直就想这样吧
Oh, that's what you wanted all along.
这就像是那个游戏一样
Uh, this is like that game,
两杯酒中只有一杯是有毒的
where one of the wine glasses has poison in it,
但你却不知道到底是哪杯
and you don't know which one it is.
冷静维多利亚
Calm down, Victoria.
喝你的酒吧
And drink your wine.
杰瑞·琼斯对我说[达拉斯牛仔队老板]
So Jerry Jones says to me,
"你比我认识的任何人都要更了解橄榄球"
"You know more about football than any man I've ever met."
那可是杰瑞·琼斯说出来的话
And this is Jerry Jones talking.
好吧我还是不知道他是谁
Yeah, still don't know who that is.
乔依你很了解梅兰妮
Joy, you know Melanie's tells.
她现在的感觉到底是怎样的
What is she feeling right now?
我确实知道她现在这副表情
Well, I do know that that's the look Melanie gives
只有面对喜欢的人时才会这样
when she's really into someone.
真的吗
Really?
看上去她恨不得去别的地方
Looks like she wants to be somewhere else.
是啊去他床上
Yeah, in his bed.
如果梅兰妮看上去一副很享受的样子
If Melanie looks like she's having a good time,
那实际上肯定完全相反
she really isn't.
但如果她显得很无聊恶心
But if she looks bored and disgusted,
说明她很享受此刻
she's having a great time.
真的吗
Really?
如果她开始打哈欠...
And if she's stifling yawn...
那她简直是高♥潮♥了
She's stifling an orgasm.
我最近开始主持了一个电台脱口秀节目
So anyway, I just started hosting a radio talk show
叫做"问问梅兰妮"
called Ask Melanie.
你就是"问问梅兰妮"吗
You're Ask Melanie?
你知道我的节目吗
You know my show?
不止呢我好几次都想打进热♥线♥呢
No--I almost called in a few times.
我是你的铁杆粉丝
I'm a huge fan.
-真的吗 -是啊
- Really? - Yeah.
瞧瞧她脸上的笑
Look at that smile.
那意味着她不喜欢他对吧
That means she's not into him, right?
那并非是真笑
Oh, that's not a real smile.
那是她胀气时的表情
That's just gas.
她就跟个婴儿一样
She's like a baby.
一旦她打完嗝那表情就没了
Once she burps, it'll be gone.
做好我这份工作的秘诀
So the secret to my job,
我可是用了一段时间才琢磨清楚
and it took me a while to learn this,
那就是绝对不要妄加评判
is to be 100% non judgmental.
真高兴听你这么说
Oh, that is so good to hear.
因为我想打进电台问你的问题
Because the thing I wanted to ask you on the radio,
我无法告诉任何人
I can't tell anyone.
你可以现在告诉我
You can tell me now.
我曾在秘鲁的山区经历了飞机坠毁事件
See, I was in a plane crash in the mountains of Peru.
天啊那一定很可怕吧
Oh, my god. That must have been terrible.
我是唯一的幸存者
I was the sole survivor.
食物吃光以后
Once the food ran out,
我只剩下一个可怕的选择了
I really only had one horrible option.
你暗示的是我想象的那种情形吗
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
是的