燃情克利夫兰
Hot in Cleveland
第五季
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燃情克利夫兰
Hot in Cleveland S05E15
Part 1
May 4, 2020, 1:37 p.m.
《燃情克利夫兰》于摄影棚观众前现场录制
Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
你们得看看米奇刚给我发的短♥信♥
You've got to see the text message Mitch just sent me.
告诉我 其中没有渴望的性方面的潜在含意
And tell me, there's not a yearning sexual undertone.
午餐吃的泰国菜 让我反胃
That tai food we had for lunch, gave me an upset stomach.
他在想着我的身体
He's thinking about my body.
我知道我在牵强附会
I know I'm reaching.
但这是他发过给我的最窝心的短♥信♥
But it's the warmest text he's ever sent me.
我们是朋友 但我想要的更多
We're friends, but I want to be more than friends.
我想做裸裎相对的朋友
I want to be naked friends.
我该怎么办
What do I do?
我说边喝咖啡边聊
I say we have some coffee and talk about it.
乔依 你的脱脂拿铁
Joy, your nonfat latte,
维多利亚的脱脂玛奇朵
nonfat macchiato for Victoria, and...
又来了 梅洛迪的黑咖啡加奶油
Ha, once again "Melody's" black coffee has full fat cream.
他们总是下错单
They never get my order right!
你的名字也总是错的 你为什么不抱怨呢
Or your name. Why don't you complain?
你们知道我没法向任何人抱怨
Oh, you know I can't complain to anyone.
是吗 你现在就在跟我们抱怨
Do we? You're complaining to us right now.
但我知道什么会让你俩的问题
But I know what will make both of your problems
看起来愚蠢且无关紧要
seem silly and insignificant.
我的问题
My problems.
我一下子变得太抢手了
I am suddenly too in-demand as an actress.
这么多剧本 我不知道选哪个
I don't know which of these scripts to choose.
在奥斯卡提名后
I mean, the next project you pick
选的第一部戏太重要了
after an oscar nomination is crucial.
少来了
Shut...Up.
看来你对抱怨这事
Well, you certainly are getting more comfortable
越来越拿手了
with that complaining thing.
不是的 看你们的杯套纸
No, no. Look at your coffee sleeves.
什么
What?
《恶魔讨债》
"The devil's due,
爱尔卡·奥斯特洛夫斯基的原创戏剧
an original play by Elka Ostrovsky"?
这个会是咱们的爱尔卡·奥斯特洛夫斯基
Could this be our Elka Ostrovsky?
拜托别说外面还有一个
Please don't tell me there's more than one.
我们就那么以自我为中心吗 以至于没注意到
Are we so self-involved that we haven't noticed
同住一个屋檐下的人在写剧本 做导演
that someone living in our house has written, directed,
制♥作♥了一出戏剧吗
and produced a play?
你知道我不喜欢问题的开头是
You know I don't like questions that begin with
我们就那么以自我为中心吗
"Are we so self-involved."
答案永远是肯定的
The answer is always yes.
找到了
Oh, here we go.
听听这个
Listen to this.
《老实人报》评论爱尔卡的戏剧
The cleveland plain dealer calls Elka's play
滑稽且富有洞察力
"Hilarious and insightful."
20分钟后就有日场
There's a matinee performance in 20 minutes.
是爱尔卡
It's Elka.
我还是小女孩生活在波兰时
"When I was a young girl in Poland,
在二战前夕
just before world war II,
我对着夜空呼喊 我愿意放弃一切
I called out to the night sky that I would give up anything
只要家人与我能够逃离就行
if my family and I could escape.
一个暗黑的影子出来 给了我一个机会
A shadowy figure came and offered me a chance,
但是需要付出代价
but there was a price attached.
我以为他已经忘了
I thought he had forgotten...
但恶魔永远会来讨债的
But the devil always gets his due."
这是咱家的客厅 这出戏是讲我们的吗
That's our living room. Is this play about us?
-欢迎 -你好 我是梅兰妮
- Welcome. - Hi. I'm Melanie.
我的天 我爱死这地方了 我要搬来克利夫兰
Oh, my god, I love this place! I'm moving to Cleveland.
太激动了 在这里我们依然性感美丽
It's all so exciting, because we're still hot here--
貌美如花
So hot.
我们又恢复了年轻与美貌 说25岁大家都信
We're young and beautiful again, and we can pass for 25.
大家笑什么
Why are they laughing?
我话太多吗 有些人说我话太多
Am I talking too much? Some people say I talk too much.
你觉得我话太多吗 我不觉得我话太多
Do you think I talk too much? I don't think I talk too much.
我说话这味儿吗 我不觉得我说话这味儿
Do I talk like that? I don't think I talk like that.
而且如果我话太多
And if I am talking too much,
也是因为我真的真的希望别人喜欢我
it's because I really, really, really need people to like me.
你喜欢我对吗 求你喜欢我
You like me, right? Please like me.
我有件重要事要宣布
I have a major announcement to make.
我的事业已经全完了
My career is in the toilet,
所以我考虑搬来克利夫兰
so I'm considering moving to Cleveland,
虽然我无法想象住在威斯康星州是啥感觉
though I can hardly imagine living in Wisconsin.
又来了 他们到底笑什么
Again, why are they laughing?
-克利夫兰在俄亥俄州 -你确定吗
- Cleveland is in Ohio. - Are you sure?
-乔依怎么这么慢 -她来了
- I wonder what's keeping Joy. - Oh, here she comes.
好啦 乔依 做好准备
All right, Joy, brace yourself.
迎接最糟糕的
Expect the worst.
大家好
Hello, hello.
准备得还不够
Didn't brace myself enough.
抱歉我迟了 美女们 我没有五块钱
Sorry I'm late, duckies, but I didn't have a fiver,
所以不得不和计程车司机来了一炮
so I had to have sex with me cabbie.
你喜欢和我上♥床♥吗
Oh, would you fancy having sex with me?
你不会离开我对吗 大多数男人都会离开
You won't leave me, will you? Most blokes do.
没人会离开你的 我们在这里太迷人的
No one's going to leave you, because we're so hot here.
有男人称呼我为小姐 他不是老人家
Some guy called me "miss, " and he wasn't elderly,
不是同志 也没有说反话
gay, or using it ironically.
我又成了天真少女了
I'm an ingenue again.
有男人叫我小美女 他真叫了
Some chap called me "cutie pie, " he did. He did!
但他注意到我的大手后 说"对不起 先生"
But then he noticed me big hands and said, "sorry, mister."
反正我还是和他上♥床♥了
I had sex with him anyways.
能把话题转到我身上吗
Can we please change the subject to me,
我这位著名的女演员
the famous actress?
我我我
Me, me, me!
-你出名吗 -相当有名
- Are you famous? - Yes, very.
我是肥皂剧演员
I'm a soap opera actress.
你认识苏珊·露琪吗
Oh, do you know Susan Lucci?
-露琪 -露琪
- Lucci! - Lucci!
女士们 这房♥子有位看门人
Ladies, this place comes with a caretaker.
爱尔卡 麻烦进来下好吗
Elka, could you come in here for a moment?
你为什么把房♥子租给性工作者
Why are you renting to prostitutes?
爱尔卡 你让咱们看起来像傻瓜
Elka, you made us look like fools!
知道什么就写什么嘛
You write what you know.
扮演我的是个男的
I'm being played by a man!
只有他才有够平的胸
He was the only actor with a flat-enough chest
和够大的手
and big-enough hands.
这出戏剧是在诽谤
This play is slander!
评论家可不这么认为
The critics disagree.
第二幕犹如过山车
"Act two is a roller-coaster ride.
三位绝望的女人疾冲向中年疯狂
Three desperate women hurtling towards middle-aged insanity."
你们还是别看的好
You might not want to stay for that.
-我们肯定走 -很好
- Oh, we're leaving. - Good.
我得去见演员
I've got to go see my actors.
他们想讨论下角色
They want to discuss their characters.
这有什么不对
And what's wrong with that?
如果上帝希望演员思考 就会给他们大脑
If god wanted actors to think, he would have given them brains.
-你应该知道我是演员吧 -当然知道
- You realize I'm an actor. - I do.
咱们不是有追索权吗 这太丢人了
What's our recourse here? This is so humiliating.
她这是唱黑我们
She got us all wrong!
爱尔卡在恶搞咱们 但说实话
Elka exaggerated all of us, but let's be honest.
她对我的诽谤是最恶毒的
She did the worst hatchet job on me.
她让我听起来像个喋喋不休的软骨头
She made me sound like a babbling wimp.
她说我傲慢自负
She called me egotistical and conceited.
我我我
Me, me, me!
我不知道你们有什么好抱怨的
I don't know what either of you are complaining about.
扮演我的可是个男的
I'm the one being played by a man!
咱们互相吵
Arguing amongst ourselves
不能解决任何问题
isn't going to fix anything.
现在没法改剧本
Now, we can't change the writing,
我们只能和演员见面
we'll just have to meet with the actors
-改变演法 -没错
- and change the acting. - Yes.
我的角色要少一些懦弱
My character should be less wimpy.
燃情克利夫兰
Hot in Cleveland
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