燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S05E01

Part 3 May 4, 2020, 1:35 p.m.

今天是我的大婚之日
It's my wedding day,
我转向镜头说
and I turn to the camera and say
"我的新郎不知道
"my groom doesn't know it,
我的热尿裤中浇"
but I'm going right now."
谢谢你淑女裤
Thank you, Mrs. ladypants.
好了表演一下我最爱的广♥告♥
Okay now do my favorite commercial
就是你进了剧院
where you are at the theater
女厕所前排起了长队
and there is a long line for the ladies room
然后你对着镜头眨眼
and you just wink at the camera.
你风♥骚♥地眨眼
You just -- wink.
听着你知道吗
Look, you know something?
我已经按照你要求的做了
I already did as you asked,
我穿上了你的淑女裤
I put on your ladypants,
我表演了广♥告♥
I did the commercial.
你说过可以让我用你的手♥机♥
Now you said I could use your phone.
求你了再让人家欣赏一下新的广♥告♥嘛
Please, give me a sneak peek at the next one?
做不到啊不会有新的广♥告♥了
I can't. There is not going to be another one.
什么
What?
我打算终结和淑女裤公♥司♥的合同
Well, I'm ending my contract with the ladypants people.
是吗我可不觉得
Yeah. I don't think so.
你这样是不对的
You are doing it wrong.
吹一下再吹两下
Blow one, then two.
一下再两下
One, then two.
爱尔卡
Elka,
《格雷的五十道阴影》的男主角
你简直跟克里斯丁·格雷一样颐指气使难伺候
you are being as demanding and bossy as Christian Grey.
我不是你的受虐人
I am not your submissive.
快做
Just do it.
好吧
Okay.
听好了新计划
All right. New plan.
我们可以挑拨大雄和莉莉
We drive a wedge between Chester and Lily
让其中一个站在我们这边
and get one of them on our side.
我听明白了
I hear you.
你是想让我用我迷死人的魅力去勾引莉莉
You want me to use my devastating charm to seduce Lily?
大雄才是那个色眼迷离的人
Chester is the one with the wandering eye.
必须得派人去和大雄调情
Someone needs to flirt with Chester.
我需要一条超短裤和几杯朗姆酒
I need a pair of short shorts and couple of shorts of rum.
我去跟大雄调情
I will flirt with Chester.
莉莉呀我们刚刚谈到
You know Lily, we were just
你是个多么出色的女人
saying how amazing you are
而大雄真是不懂珍惜
and how Chester doesn't really appreciate that.
你瞧瞧他现在这副样子
I mean, look at him right now,
不知羞耻地在跟梅兰妮调情
shamelessly flirting with Melanie.
你可真幽默
You are so funny.
我命令你解开我
I order you to untie me.
除非你先发誓会和淑女裤公♥司♥
Not until you swear you will sign a new contract
重新签一份合同
with the ladypants people.
老天啊
Oh my God.
这简直跟凯西·贝茨演的那部电影中的情节一样
This is just like that movie with Cathy Bates.
电影《危情十日》或译《苦难》
凯西·贝茨凭借此片斩获奥斯卡最佳女主
根据史蒂芬·金的同名小说改编而成
Based on the Steven King novel of the same name.
《油炸绿番茄》吗
Fried green tomatoes?
也是凯西·贝茨主演的
不好意思说错了
Oh, sorry. That's wrong.
我们想要的反应是"什么是苦难"
The response we wanted was "what is misery?"
大家都知道《油炸绿番茄》是根据
Everybody knows Fried green tomatoes
范尼·弗莱格的小说改编的
is from the novel Fannie Flagg.
别再在现实和虚幻间乱入了特里伯克
Stop breaking the fourth wall, Trebek.
小心枪淡定淡定
Easy gun. Easy, easy.
他真是个万事通
He is such a know it all.
可不是嘛
Tell me about it.
不过那部叫《苦难》的电影
Although, that misery movie
倒是让我想到一些好主意
had some good ideas.
我敢说厨房♥里一定有个大铁锤吧
I bet there is a mallett in the kitchen
我故意把枪放在你看得着拿不到的地方
and I am going to leave this gun tantalizingly out of your reach.
天啊我感觉像007电影里的坏蛋一样
Oh my God I feel like a Bond villain.
等等如果他是007电影里的坏蛋
Wait, if he is a Bond a villain
那我就是詹姆斯·邦德了
that would make me bond.
快想想维多利亚
Think, Victoria,
如果丹尼尔·克雷格穿着淑女裤被绑着
What would Daniel Craig do if he were
他会怎么做
tied up in ladypants?
现任邦德的扮演者
身边恰好有一大壶水
With a pitcher of water near by.
他好像完全无视我一样
It's like he doesn't even see me.
有时候我觉得自己像是他的员工
Sometimes I just feel like his employee
而不是妻子
and not his wife.
把工作和玩乐搅在一起很少有好结果
Well, mixing business and pleasure rarely ends well.
我有个同事完全被我吸引了
I have a co-worker who is attracted to me
就像是一只饥渴的飞蛾
like a desperate moth
想要扑向我这棕黄色的迷人火焰
to an enchanting gingered-haired flame.
对方是个男人吗
Is it a guy?
不乔依可不是男人
No. Joy is not a guy.
我想说万一警♥察♥来了把大雄带走了
I am just saying should the police come and take Chester away,
你绝对可以找到更好的
you could definitely find someone better.
比如上"和谐婚恋网"
Like on eharmony.Com
他们申请了专利确保能配上对
they have a patented system that ensures compatibility.
你说得对
You are right.
我值得拥有更好的
I deserve better.
大雄我们完了
Chester, it's over.
别这样啊宝贝你能别闹了吗
Oh, come on, babe. Will you stop it, please?
她对我来说什么都不是
She means nothing to me.
证明给我看
Prove it.
你想让我怎么做
What do you want me to do?
杀了她吗
Kill her?
那样倒挺能表现诚意的
It would be a nice gesture.
我是说你愿意为我杀人吗
I mean, you would do that for me?
亲爱的如果那能让我们消除嫌隙
Sweety, if it will help us get past this,
我愿意立刻一枪崩了那个女人
I will shoot that woman right now.
那是什么声音
What's that?
是警♥察♥ 你们麻烦大了
It's the cops and you are in big trouble.
你们都以为爱尔卡不停在对我的技术
You all thought I was just tending the fire
吹毛求疵时我是在生火
while Elka nitpicked my technique
其实爱尔卡不停在对我的技术
but I was actually making smoke signals
吹毛求疵时我是在偷发烟雾信♥号♥♥
while Elka nitpicked my technique.
一定是特警队
That must be the SWAT team.
我看到了你们发出的烟雾信♥号♥♥
I saw your smoke signals.
你们遇到危险了吗
Are you in distress?
你不是特警队的
You are not the SWAT team.
你只是个小男孩
You're a little boy.
没错女士
That's right, ma'am.
不要啊现在谁可以来救我们啊
Oh, no. Who is going to save us now?
把枪放下
Drop your guns!
大英雄就是裤子
The name is pants.
淑女裤
Ladypants.
你是怎么挣脱的
How did you escape?
我先用水把自己浸湿了
I doused myself with water
然后利用淑女裤的膨胀性把绳子迸开了
and used the expanding powers of Mrs. ladypants to break my ropes.
我♥操♥啊
Shut up!
你是个邪恶的天才
You're an evil genius.
她就是大坏蛋啊
She's the bad guy.
不她不是
No she's not.
我才是大坏人
I'm the bad guy.
那我一定就是好人了
Well, I guess that makes me the good guy.
放下武器你也是女士
Drop your weapon. You too, lady.
天啊是阿力克斯·特里伯克
Oh my God, Alex Trebek?
没错
That's right.
但在周末时我是公园巡警阿力克斯·特里伯克
But on weekends, I'm park ranger Alex Trebek.
我是来救你们的
And I'm here to save you.
我看到了你们的烟雾信♥号♥♥
I read your smoke signals,
让我知道这里有女人陷入危险了
telling me that there were women here in jeopardy.
给自己的节目打广♥告♥来了
警♥察♥很快就会到了
The police will be here soon.