游侠笑传（2015）

Oh, Gareth, you're smiling.
不好意思 能别笑了吗
Sorry, could you stop it?
你这笑有点把我吓到了
I just find it deeply unsettling.
我真不敢相信他死了
I just can't believe he's dead.
对本季剧情来说确实死得太早
Does seem awfully early in the season for something like this.
他是不是基本死了
Could he be mostly dead?
而不是死透了 基本死应该还有救吧
But not all dead, 'cause mostly dead is slightly alive?
好吧 并没有这种说法
Yeah, that's not a thing.
不好意思 都怪你唱太久了
Well, I'm sorry, but you sang too long.
好吧 但你刺他在先
Yeah, well, you stabbed him first.
你还有什么别的办法吗
Is there anything else you can do?
我正在研制
There is a potion
一种可以起死回生的药水
for reviving the dead that I've been working on.
但一直缺少一种稀有的配料
But I've been missing one rare ingredient,
因此一直没有完全成功
So it's never been fully successful.
那配料是什么
What is this ingredient?
我愿意为之上高山 战强敌 杀猛兽
I will climb any mountain, battle any foe, slay any beast!
需要一位中年男子的白色胡须
A gray hair from the beard of a middle-aged man
必须是贞洁之身 从未跟女人有染
who is pure of body, untouched by a woman.
安息吧 我的朋友 我会想你的
Rest in peace, my friend. I shall miss you.
-你不是说你要... -你听错了
- Didn't I hear that you - - you heard nothing!
我们到哪去找一个没被女人染指过的
Where can we possibly find a bearded middle-aged man
大胡子中年男子
who hasn't been touched by a woman.
西班牙吗
Spain?
谁知道呢
Who knows?
说实话 找到这种人的几率
To be honest, the chances of finding that
和看到独角兽的几率一样小
are as rare as that unicorn.
你们快看 那有一只活生生的独角兽
Guys, look, there's a real, live unicorn
正在窗口看着我们呢
looking in the window at us right now.
独角兽只会被那些没有被女...
Unicorns are only attracted by those untouched by --
走开
Get away.
好吧 我会捐献胡须的
Fine, I'll donate the damn beard hair.
温驯的生物 如果我能存活千年
Gentle creature, if I live 1,000 years,
我绝不会忘记目睹你身影的这一天
I will never forget the day I laid eyes on the likes of you.
独角兽也很酷
And the unicorn's cool, too.
嘿 你不必觉得丢人
Hey, you don't have to be embarrassed.
说实话 芭比 我...
Honestly, Bobby, I...
我只是觉得那么特别的事情
I've just always felt that something that special
应该和爱的人一起分享
should be shared with someone you love, and...
我从没爱过
I've never been in love.
暂时没有而已 你还有时间
Well, not yet. There's still time.
谢了
Thank you.
四个字 而且是这样飞的
Four syllables, and it goes like this.
听着像信天翁鸟
Sound like an albatross...
我们收到了沃姆伍德的预约卡
We just got a save-the-date from Wormwood.
嘘 我们在玩新游戏呢
Shh-shh. We're playing a new game.
叫做"猜未来" 谁关心那个
It's called "Guess the future." And who cares?
反正婚礼已经取消了
The wedding's been called off anyway.
不是婚礼预约卡 而是开战预约卡
It's not for a wedding. It's for a war!
沃姆伍德在瓦伦西亚呢 他们计划于
Wormwood is in Valencia, and they plan to invade us
1月31日周日 东部时间晚8点入侵我们
on Sunday, January 31st, 8:00 P.M. Eastern.
设置好录制机吧
Set your DVR.
"录制机" 那是什么意思
"DVR"? What does that even mean?
我也只是在玩"猜未来"游戏而已
Just trying to play the "Guess the future" Game.
慢着 他发来了开战预约
Wait, he sent a save-the-date for a war?
谁会做这种事
Who does such a thing?
不是吧 巴里
For real, Barry?
你发了一张预约邀请函
You sent out save-the-date invitations
给那些我们本想攻其不备的人
to the people we are surprise attacking?!
有两张单子 两张
There are two lists! Two!
一张是婚礼预约 一张是开战预约
Save-the-date for the wedding, and save-the-date for the war!
没那么难啊
Not that difficult.
或许你该少大吼大叫 多花点时间教我
Maybe if you stopped yelling and took the time to teach.
谁知道他们说"小点心"是指什么
And who knows what they mean by "Light refreshments."
我们现在怎么办
So, what do we do here?
召开军事会议 还是鸣响警钟
Call for a war council? Sound an alarm?
等等 怎么了 你们这是在干什么
Wait, what's happening? Why is everyone doing that?
霍坦西亚的传统
Hortensia tradition.
战争期间
In time of war,
谁最后一个把手放鼻子旁边
the last person to put their finger next to their nose
就得去率军打仗
leads the troops.
可恶
oh, darn!
爸
Dad!
抱歉 闺女 我不擅长打仗
I'm sorry, bunny. I suck at war.
那正是我们的王国一开始被理查德夺走的原因
That's why our kingdom was taken by Richard in the first place.
那也别看着我啊
Well, don't look at me!
我对率军打仗一无所知
I don't know anything about leading troops.
一对一战斗是可以 但是军队作战
I mean, one-on-one combat, yes, but armies?
我终于有机会可以放松一下
And I've finally got the chance to just relax
享受自我的时光
and have some "Me" Time.
是你鼓励我的 妈妈
You encouraged that, mom.
也许你可以两者兼得
Well, maybe you can do both.
天啊 这简直是疯了
Oh, this is insane.
同意 但传统就是传统
Agreed. But traditions are traditions.
好吧
Fine.
我愿意上阵
I'll do it.
虽然我从没带过军队 但...
Not like I've ever led an army before, but...
我至少可以试试吧
Well, I guess I could try.
我觉得可以
I suppose.
我可以猜到未来了
I can guess the future.
我们全完了
We're screwed.
你在这儿呢
There you are.
我一直到处找你
I've been looking all over for ya.
我在收拾行李准备上战场
I'm packing for war.
好吧 等你收拾好了之后
Yeah, well, after that, maybe,
我心想我们可以向战士们发表战前演说
I thought we'd go and address the troops.
何不把我的行李和你的放在一起呢
Uh, why don't I put my stuff in there with yours?
我又没有很多东西
I mean, I don't have a lot,
而且基本上我每天都穿这一身
And, uh, well, basically, I wear this every day.
共用一个行李箱
Share a trunk?
我才不想让你的东西碰到我的呢
I don't want your stuff touching mine.
没什么事吧
Is everything okay?
敲敲门
Knock, knock!
温馨提示 我收到了牧师的信鸦
Gentle reminder -- uh, I've had a crow from the vicar.
他希望你们尽快确定婚期
He'd love you to set a date for the wedding soon,
因为他八月份很忙
Because he fills up in august.
宗教裁判期
Inquisition season.
滚开
Go!
天呐 他真是...
God, he's just so...
你懂吧
You know?
实际上 他说得挺有道理的
Well, actually, he has got a point.
眼下的情况确实叫人看不懂
I mean, it's a bit confusing,
国王和王后并不是真正的夫妻
You know, the king and queen not actually being married, and...
你说你爱我的时候 真的叫我很感动
It was really nice when you said that you loved me.
加瑞斯 我们不要...
Look, gareth, let's not...
天呐 你在做什么
Oh, my god! What are you doing?!
我刚刚不是在求婚
I wasn't proposing!
我只是整理个靴子 喂
I was doing me boots up! Oy!
你好
Uh, hello.
我有一个问题
Question.
我想知道你有没有一些
I was wondering if you had any scrolls
有助于领军对阵的书
That could help lead an army against an attacking foe?
有没有什么东西可以拯救
Maybe something that could help a person save the lives
霍坦西亚所有人的性命 显然这将是一场屠♥杀♥
Of everyone in Hortensia from a certain slaughter?
你 你有吗
D-d-do you have any of those?
你确定这能管用吗
Are you sure this is gonna work?
要是没用 我的职业生涯基本上就完了
'cause if not, my career is kind of over --
一个侍从杀了他的主人什么的
A squire killing his own knight and all.
你还真是分得清轻重缓急
Good thing you've got your priorities in the right place.
好了
Right.
见证真♥相♥的时刻