游侠笑传（2015）

We have a chicken, and there was an egg.
但在那之前 还有另一只鸡
But then before that, there was another chicken.
把鸡杀了 留给我当晚餐
Kill the chicken. I'll eat it for dinner.
下一个
Next!
我的王后
My queen.
那个王后身边的男人...
My guy who was with the queen wh--
快说
Oh, get on with it.
我对于自己在这儿的处境 有几个小小的问题
I guess I just have a few questions about my situation here.
我是俘虏吗
Am I captive?
我是自♥由♥的吗 我的发型如何
Am I free? How's my hair?
我都几周没照过镜子了
I mean, I haven't seen a mirror in weeks.
或许你想跟那只鸡一个下场
Perhaps you'd like to go the way of the chicken.
听着 我无意抱怨
Look, I don't mean to complain.
我只是 不知道自己的角色 这太奇怪了
I just...don't know what my role is, and that's weird.
是啊 没个角色是挺难的
Yeah. It's a bit rough not having a role.
你有角色的 加瑞斯
You have a role, Gareth.
是吗
I do?
去杀了那只鸡
Go kill the chicken.
亲爱的 既然你和你表弟的婚礼要接着举♥行♥
Honey...since the wedding to your cousin is back on,
我们觉得 你或许想挑个蛋糕的顶层装饰
we thought you might want to choose a cake topper.
你们一点都不觉得有问题吗
You see nothing wrong with this?
你们唯一的女儿要嫁给她自己的表弟
Your only daughter is about to marry her own cousin,
他只是个11岁的小孩而已
Who happens to be an 11-year-old boy.
-我们觉得挺好 -父亲
- We're good with it. - Father!
宝贝 格莱凡特已经走了
Honey, Galavant is gone.
他的确高大帅气
He was a tall drink of water,
我会一直将他留在我深深的脑海里
and I will keep him forever in my spank bank,
但现在我们该向前看了
But it's time to move on.
不
No!
无论格莱凡特在哪儿 他都会来救我的
Wherever he is, Galavant will come for me,
然后我们会结婚
and then we will marry.
如果你嫁给格莱凡特
If you marry Galavant,
整场婚礼都得我掏钱
I have to pay for the whole wedding.
你嫁给表弟的话 我就只用付彩排晚宴的钱
You marry your cousin, I only do the rehearsal dinner.
真爱与彩排晚宴无关
True love is not about rehearsal dinners!
你是没见过那要命的账单
You haven't seen the farkakte bill.
你必须嫁给表弟
You are marrying your cousin.
你们真是不可理喻
I can't believe you two,
我被关在这个牢笼里
planning this wedding as if nothing's wrong
你们却若无其事地筹备婚礼
whilst I'm locked away in this prison!
宝贝贝拉 亲爱的 我们爱你
Oh, baby Bella, honey, we love you.
可你有点太戏剧化了
But you're being a tad dramatic.
这可不是牢笼
This is not a prison.
探监的人要出来了
Visitor is coming out!
你在哪儿 格莱凡特
Where are you, Galavant?
那些海贼对我也太粗暴了点 对吧
Well, those pirates were a bit snippy with me, no?
拜托你闭嘴
Please stop talking.
你还在因为船只失事而生气吗
Are you still upset about the shipwreck?
天呐老兄 过去的事就让它过去吧
Geez, man, what's the point of a bygone
老是追究有什么意义呢
if it can't just be a bygone?
一个海贼死了
A pirate died.
海贼本就是亡命之徒嘛
That's what pirates do!
我之前真以为我知道这是哪儿
I really thought I knew where we were.
我的王国肯定离这儿不太远
Oh, well, my kingdom can't be too far away from here.
你...噢 不妙
Do -- oh, no.
什么"噢 不妙"
What "Oh, no"?
噢 不妙
Oh...no.
"噢 不妙"个什么
"Oh, no," What?
我好像带你误入了魔法森林
I think I may have led us into the enchanted forest,
那可不妙
and that is not good.
我父亲曾警告过我千万不要来这里
My father warned me to stay away from here at all costs.
有个女王 邪恶女王
There's a queen -- an evil queen --
有一次 我父亲和他最好的朋友兼露营伙伴凯斯
In fact, once my father and his best friend/camping buddy, Keith,
我叫他凯斯叔叔
who -- I called him Uncle Keith
-因为他们总是形影不离 -说重点
- 'cause he was always around -- - Spit it out!
他们误入了这里
They wandered in here,
从此凯斯叔叔就音信全无
And Uncle Keith was never heard from again.
好极了
Oh, great.
是 没错 你的典型作风
Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm, typical.
天啊 你真是一件事都做不好啊
God, can't you do anything right?!
你还要继续走吗
You just gonna keep walking?
魔法森林
欢乐时光
"Happy hour"?
酒吧减价优♥惠♥时段
欢乐时光 6-8点
所有饮料买♥♥二赠一
魔法森林
魔法森林是家酒馆
The enchanted forest is a pub.
天啊 刚刚你真是吓到我了
God, you actually had me scared for a minute there.
这地方棒呆了
Oh, this place is fabulous!
全是男人 真正的男士酒吧
It's all men, a real gentlemen's club.
你好
Hello.
要习惯他人的注目 小子
Get used to the attention, son.
和理查德国王在一起就是这样
This is what happens when you hit the mainland with King Rich.
以前在这儿没见过你啊
Haven't seen you around here before.
相信我 如果见过我一定忘不了
Trust me -- I'd remember.
让 看来你多了一位对手
Jean, looks like you got some competition.
你好啊
Oh, hello there.
让·汉姆
Jean hamm?
是啊
Yeah.
别告诉我老婆
Don't tell my wife.
跟我来 巴比
Come, Bobby.
女王一定会想看看这位
The Queen's gonna want to get a look at this one.
-的确 -噢 不妙
- I do! - Oh, no.
?你侵入了我的王土?
?You trespassed upon my kingdom?
?现在你受我统治?
?And now you are in my sway?
?那基本意味着 女王之王?
?Which basically means, as the queen of all queens?
?要让你付出代价?
?I'm going to make you pay?
?要把他投入地牢吗?
?Will we be throwing him in the dungeon??
?还是把他扔给"熊"?
?Or tossing him to the bear??
?毫无疑问?
?Well, one thing for sure?
?我们会算总账?
?We'll settle the score?
?相信我 结果一定公正?
?And trust me, it's more than fair?
?脱掉上衣?
?Off with his shirt?
?把他扒光?
?Strip him down?
?别害羞 小子们 大干一场?
?Don't be shy, boys, go to town?
?我敢打赌 那胸膛一定美妙异常?
?I'll bet that chest is heaven-blessed?
?如此结实又诱人?
?So firm and pert?
?扒掉他的上衣?
?Off with his top?
?让它飞?
?Let it fly?
?六块腹肌爱煞人?
?Check that six-pack, it's to die?
?路人甲乙丙丁戊?
?Tell ev'ry Lance and Bruce and Curt?
?快扒下他的衣衫?
?Off with his shirt?
太好玩了 人家也要像她那样飞起来
Oh, this is so fun! I want to fly like her, too.
快来人把我举起来
Someone pick me up.
把我也举起来
Pick me up, too!
?你已陷入我的地盘?
?So now that you're in my power?
?你被关在吧台后面?
?We'll put you behind these bars?
?从朝至夕笑迎来客?
?And there you will stay, taking orders all day?
?直到奇迹降临人间?
?till Mars is aligned with Mars?
?我们会让你们久等?
?And for our pleasure, we'll keep you waiting?
?工作时长随心而定?
?Who knows just how long you'll serve?
?请君放心我们保证?
?But, baby, you bet?
?你将受到 我们期盼已久的惩罚?
?You're gonna get the punishment we deserve
?快扒下他的上衣?
?Off with his shirt?
?就这么办?
?That's the deal?
?肌肉猛♥男♥饕餮盛宴?
?You're our beefcake happy meal?
?大家快来?
?Go on, you guys?
?尽情观看?
?Just feast your eyes?
?直到闪瞎你的双眼?
?until they hurt?
?快扒下他的上衣?
?Off with his shirt?
?直到黎明?
?till the dawn?
?宽厚胸膛毛发浓密?
?Dig that lush pectoral lawn?