游侠笑传（2015）

那个更好 黄金的还是钻石的
Which are better -- gold or diamonds*
黄金的还是钻石的
Gold? Diamonds?
我还是选黄金的吧
I'm going with gold.
很美 王后陛下
They're beautiful, my queen.
你确定这不会让我显得很穷吗
And you're sure they don't make me look poor?
不会 因为那是黄金啊
No, because they're gold.
还在搞耳环吗
Still with the earrings*
苍天啊 随便选一副吧
For god's sake, just pick a pair,
就因为你收到两个荡♥妇♥的邀请
And just because you've been invited
去参加周日烧烤大会
By a couple of old tarts to a Sunday Roast
并不意味着 你可以借用我的男仆好几天
Does not mean that you can take my manservant for days.
不是说好了用"私人助理"这个称呼的吗
Uh, I thought we agreed on "Personal assistant"?
凡·费尔科波姐妹也不是荡♥妇♥
And the Von Falconburgh sisters are not tarts.
她们是七大王国中最受欢迎的王后
They are the most popular queens in all the seven realms.
我还记得我第一次见到她们时的情景
I remember the first time I saw them.
我当时还是个小女孩 她们经过了我的村庄
I was just a little girl, and they passed through my village.
我从来没见过像她们那样的大人物
I'd never seen anything like them.
她们只需要用那一只精美绝伦的耳环
They could've bought or sold all of us
就可以买♥♥下或是卖♥♥掉我们所有人
With just one of their spectacular earrings.
令我大吃一惊的是
And, to my amazement,
她们从人群中挑中了我 给予了特别的关注
They singled me out for special attention.
小女孩 你想搭车吗
Little girl, do you want a ride?
哎呀 抱歉 进来吧
Oops, sorry. Hop in!
你真是太穷了
You're so poor!
她们似乎很坏啊
They sound awful.
没错
Oh, they were.
那时候我就意识到 我也想变得跟他们一样
And that's when I realized I wanted to be just like them.
她们邀请我参加她们的周日烧烤大会
And this invitation to their Sunday Roast
证明我终于跻身上流社会的圈子
proves that I've finally arrived.
嘿 格尔 听我说
Hey, Gal, listen,
我想再次为之前搞砸的事道个歉
I want to apologize again for screwing up earlier.
我当时只是想帮忙而已
I was only trying to be helpful,
但我保证 从现在开始
But I promise, from now on,
我会努力把每件事都做好
I'm going to do everything right.
你坐在地图上了
You're sitting on the map.
抱歉 从这一刻开始吧
Oh, sorry. From now on.
抱歉 真正从这一刻开始
Sorry. From now now on.
抱歉
Sorry.
你不必道歉的
No need to apologize.
听着 我想着 从现在开始
Listen, I was thinking from here on out,
或许我还是一个人来行英雄之举吧
Maybe I'll do the hero thing...alone.
什么
What?
为什么
Why?
因为你差点害我们被那些雇佣兵杀害
Well, because you nearly got us killed by those mercenaries
以及那之前一批的雇佣军
And the mercenaries before that
或是其他无数次
Or any of the countless other times
你让我们的生命陷入危险的经历
You've put our lives in jeopardy.
但是帮助你是我唯一的人生目标啊
But helping you is all I have right now.
不然我还能干什么呢
I mean, what else would I even do?
我不知道 有可能的话...
I don't know. For argument's sake,
你或许可以多和洛波塔相处
Maybe you could spend some more time with Roberta.
你们两个之间显然很来电
I mean, you two obviously have something going on.
我和她
Me and her?
你没开玩笑吧
Are you serious?
不 我刚刚这么说只是为了摆脱尴尬
No. I just said it to get out of an awkward situation,
不过 现在仔细想想
But, actually, now that I think about it,
没错 那真是摆脱你这个烦人精的好办法
Yeah, that would be a really good way to get you out of my hair.
好吧 那真是我听过的最恶心的提议
Okay, that is officially the grossest thing I have ever heard.
我和芭比
Me and Bobby?!
我们小时候是玩伴啊
I mean, we played together as children!
她就像我妹妹一样
She's like a sister!
而且不是你可以娶回家的那种妹妹
And not the kind of sister you marry.
好吧 我明白很难换一种身份去看待一个人
Yeah, look, I know it's hard to see people in a different light.
除非有人想出了一个荒唐的计划
Unless someone comes up with a ridiculous plan
强迫你们在一起
To force you together.
突然想到
Apropos of nothing,
不如我们今晚一起吃个饭吧
Why don't we all go for dinner tonight, hmm?
找一个有烛光的地方
Somewhere candlelit.
所以 是任何地方都行吗
So...anywhere?
是啊 差不多任何地方都是这样的
Yeah, pretty much anywhere at all.
我送午餐来了 公主殿下
I've brought luncheon, your highness.
稍等一下
Oh, just a moment.
我在练习书写我的婚后名
I'm practicing writing my married name.
不过 你的婚后名跟现有名不是一样的吗
Although, isn't it exactly the same as your current name?
是哒
Yeah.
公主殿下 我也不想
My lady, I hate to trouble you
拿社会最底层之人的问题来烦扰你
with the problems of those so far, far beneath you.
但是我确实注意到
But I can't help noticing,
在经过好几周不断尝试逃跑之后
After several weeks of constant escape attempts,
你已经迅速适应了这里
you've settled in here pretty fast.
我家格温倒是很难适应
My Gwynne is having a hard time adjusting.
我能不能做些什么帮下她呢
Is there anything I can do to help her?
你得让格温明白她有多特别
You just need to let Gwynne know how special she is.
给她买♥♥一些昂贵的礼物吧
Buy her something expensive.
每个女人都希望被当作公主一样对待
Every woman wants to be treated like a princess.
你是不是戴着那东西睡觉了啊
Have you been sleeping in that thing?
我来帮你扶正一下
Allow me to straighten it for you.
那是我的
Mine!
万分抱歉 公主殿下
A million pardons, my lady.
你一定吼破喉咙了 我去给你拿药片
I'll go get you a lozenge for that throat.
容我向大家介绍今天的贵客
May I present to you our guest of honor,
自瓦伦西亚远道而来的...
All the way from Valencia...
玛德丽娜王后
Queen Madalena!
非常感谢大家
Thank you so much.
能够获邀与这么一帮尊贵的人士一起
It is such a thrill to be invited to share Sunday Roast
参加周日烧烤大会真令人激动
With such esteemed company.
所以我们是要烤什么 野猪肉 雄鹿肉还是异教♥徒♥
So, what are we roasting -- wild boar, stag, heretics*
不 玛德丽娜 你搞错了
Oh, no, Madalena, you've got it all wrong.
我们是要烧烤你
We're roasting you.
什么
What*
各位大人 夫人 欢迎光临 尤其是诸位修道士
Welcome, gentle lords and ladies and especially you, friars.
谢谢你们同意我们借用俱乐部场地
Thank you for letting us use your club.
今天 我们要烧烤玛德丽娜王后
Today, we roast Queen Madalena,
那真是太容易了 感觉有点胜之不武呢
A target so easy, it almost doesn't seem fair.
我也觉得
I know.
我们都知道她是如何得到现在的头衔的
Now, we all know how she got her title --
就是杀了她的全部前任
By killing or beheading all her exes,
那恰好显示
Which just goes to show
即使她把他们全都扔入地牢
That even when she throws them in a dungeon,
也依然看不住她的男人
She still can't keep her man!
但是本次大会的重点
But this isn't all about
并非全是要讨论玛德丽娜是个多么轻佻的女人
What an absolutely massive hussy Madalena is.
没错 她的确很有帝王之相
Yeah, she is very regal.
我们早就知道她会进城♥堡♥的
We always knew she would end up in a castle.
不过 我们是以为她会进去打扫卫生的
Yeah, we just thought she'd be cleaning it.
好了 我们说点现实的吧
Okay, let's get real for a moment.
玛德丽娜 你的表现真是太出色了
Madalena, you have done so well.
你原本一无所有
You have come from nothing,
我们真的非常非常以你为傲
And we are really, really proud of you.
我们觉得你成功变成了一个坐拥一切的王后
We think that you've turned yourself into the queen who has everything.
除了爱 尊重和朋友
Except love, respect, friends...
-以及一对上档次的耳环 -没错
- And a decent pair of earrings! - Oh, yes.
-瞧吧 -我看见了
- See* - I see.
刚刚我们玩得很开心
That was so much fun for us.
是啊 谢谢你这么容易成为取笑对象
Yeah, thank you for being so easy to make fun of.
我超爱的 我爱极了
I-I loved it. I just loved it.
我们绝对应该再举办一次
We should definitely do this again.
当然了
Of course.
格温
Gwynne*
格温德琳
Gwyndolin*