游侠笑传（2015）

她可以待会儿接着睡 因为她是王后
She can sleep in later because she's a queen
可以为所欲为
and she can do whatever she wants?
她会长皱纹的
She could get a wrinkle.
如果她长了一道皱纹
And if she gets a wrinkle...
就会保证你也长一道
she'll make sure you get a wrinkle.
长在你的脖子上
On your neck!
不好意思 刚刚没说清楚
I'm sorry. I'm not being very clear.
我累死了 我的意思是
I'm really tired. What I'm trying to say is
如果你不解决问题 我就把你割喉 明白吗
if you don't fix it, I'll cut your throat. Okay?
晚安咯
Nighty-night.
不 我从未爱过你 伊莎贝拉
"No. I never loved you, Isabella."
但是我不明白 格莱凡特
"But I don't understand, Galavant."
太遗憾了 烂人 我走了
"Too bad, sucker. I'm outie."
再演一遍
Play it again.
公主殿下 恕我直言
Oh, apologies, my lady.
你真的觉得一遍一遍重温分手时刻
But do you really think it's healthy
对你的健康有好处吗
to keep reliving this breakup with galavant?
我说了 再演一遍
I said, play it again.
在下格莱凡特 垃圾中的战斗机
"I'm Galavant, the jerkiest jerk in all the land!"
打扰下 小丑
Excuse us, Jester.
我们能和闺女说几句话吗
May we have a moment with our daughter?
谢天谢地
Oh, thank god.
宝贝儿
Sweetheart...
你也知道 我们很遗憾格莱凡特把你甩了
As you know, we're very sorry about galavant ditching you.
他对你像对待瘟疫一样避之不及
He dropped you like a plague rat.
但是已经过去好几天了
But it's been several days,
而你的生物日历还在一页页往前翻
and that biological sundial of yours continues to grow long
-你懂我的意思吧 -你25岁啦
- If you know what I mean. - You're 25!
我妈像你这么大的时候都做曾祖母了
My mother was a great-grandmother by then!
我们很高兴
And while we're happy
你同意被迫嫁给表弟
you agreed to be forced to marry your cousin.
现在有些事也该开始做了吧
Maybe it's time to start making some decisions, hmm?
至少和婚礼策划人见个面
At least meet the wedding planner.
他迫不及待要见你了
He's very excited to meet you.
如果不能嫁给心爱的人 我对这些都不在乎
I don't care about any of it if I'm not marrying someone I love.
宝贝儿
Oh, sweetheart!
婚姻和爱情毫无关系
Marriage isn't about love!
向你介绍一下沃姆伍德先生
Let me introduce you to Mr. Wormwood!
伊莎贝拉公主 幸会幸会
Princess Isabella, how delightful.
我是沃姆伍德婚庆公♥司♥的切斯特·沃姆伍德
Chester Wormwood of Wormwood weddings and events.
我在此为您服务 竭力让您愿望成真
I'm here solely to serve your every wish and desire.
这是我们全新的娱乐中心
This is our new rec center.
我们引以为豪
We're very proud of it.
我的神啊
Oh...my...god.
那些窗帘曾是我的床单
Those curtains used to be my sheets.
我能认出来是因为 上面所有的R字母都是用
I know because I had the R's embroidered
全国所有红发女郎的头发绣上去的
with the plucked hairs of all the kingdom's redheads!
你会发现我们把城♥堡♥里的一切
You'll find we've turned everything from the castle
都用来造福大众了
into something for the common good.
你确定你不是在给我制♥造♥一个天大的惊喜吗
Are you sure you're not planning some big surprise
等下你就会推走一辆巨型马车
where you're gonna wheel away some huge wagon
露出一座你们替我重建的升级版的城♥堡♥
to reveal you've rebuilt my castle but only better, huh?
抱歉 伙计
Sorry, buddy.
"伙计"
"Buddy!"
好极了 现在都这样了
Oh, great. That's what it is now.
我不是"国王""圣上"也不是"陛下"
It's not "My King" or "Your Worship" or "Your Highness".
而是"伙计"
It's "Buddy."
天啊
God!
我有个问题
I have a question.
你们还有军队吗
Do you still have an army?
有的 人♥民♥的军队
A citizen's army, yeah.
太好了 我要用这支军队打入霍坦西亚
Good. I'd like to use it to invade Hortensia.
绝对不行
Absolutely not.
真的吗
Really?
等一下 我记得这里是民♥主♥制
Well, hang on. I thought this was a democracy.
不是应该人♥民♥当家做主吗
Aren't you supposed to let the people decide?
是哦
Oh, yeah.
不如这样 今晚有市政厅会议
Tell you what, there's a town-hall meeting tonight
人人都能提出新的议题
where anybody can bring up new business.
-何不去那儿试试呢 -好啊
- Why don't you give it a shot there? - Okay.
很难想象自♥由♥的人♥民♥会投票
Now, I can't imagine a free people ever voting
出兵介入他国争端
to send an army into an open-ended foreign conflict
何况只有少数人能从中获益
which profits only the few.
那简直是疯了
That would be madness.
确实如此
Well, s-sure.
但是你忘了一件事
But you're forgetting one thing.
瞧我的微笑
This smile.
对哦
Oh, yeah.
真美 倾国倾城 对吧
Oh, yeah. It's nice, isn't it?
来人啊 救命
Help, help!
-那是我的束胸上衣 -放开我 放开我
- That's my tunic! - Get off, get off!
先生 你最近一直做噩梦吗
Sir, have you been having bad dreams?
谁告诉你我一直做噩梦
Who's been telling you I'm having bad dreams?
王后啊
The queen!
她听见你半夜尖叫 让我来帮忙
She's heard you screaming at night and wants me to help!
-过来 -天啊 我的小命要完了
- Come here. - Oh, god, this is it!
闭嘴
Shut up!
我不是要杀了你
I'm not gonna kill ya!
好吧 是的
Yes, okay.
我一直做噩梦 梦见理查德国王
I've been having bad dreams about King Richard.
我也不知道怎么办
I don't know what to do.
我小时候曾经反复做同一个噩梦
Well, when I was younger, I had a recurring nightmare.
但是我妈妈帮我弄明白♥梦♥的含义之后
But then my mom helped me figure out what it meant,
就消失了
and it went away.
不行 我的情况更复杂
No, this is more complicated than that.
倒不如说是个谜语
It's more of a riddle.
在梦里我总是拿着理查德国王的王冠
I'm always holding King Richard's crown!
他指责我背叛了他
He's accusing me of betraying him.
是啊 真是个难解之谜
Yeah, that's a real enigma.
你觉得可不可能是你感到
Do you think that maybe you're feeling --
我也不好说 一点点的 愧疚
I don't know -- a little...guilty?
"愧疚"是何物
What's "Guilty"?
你为自己做过的事情感到良心不安
When you feel bad about what you've done.
那种东西根本不存在
That's not a thing!
跟你说话真是浪费时间
I'm wasting my time talking to you!
今日投票 以真爱之名
格莱凡特爵士
你意下如何
What do you think?
"誓死相助救美英雄郎"怎么样
How about "Die for the guy who wants his gal"?
"美格"也是你的外号♥ 一语双关
See, "Gal" Is a play on your name,
还押韵呢
and it rhymes.
没错 真的挺好的
Yeah, I think it's good.
我觉得对我来说有点傻
I just think it's a bit dumb for me.
但是对我来说就不傻了是吧
Oh, oh, but it's not too dumb for me?
连一个傻兮兮的选举口号♥都想不出来
Can't even write a slogan for a stupid election.
我不是作家 我没有城♥堡♥
I'm not a writer. I'm not a castle owner.
我不是国王
I'm not a king.
非得又陷入这种纠结吗
Do we have to do this again?
什么啊 意识到现在是我灵魂最黑暗的时刻吗
Do what? Realize I'm in the darkest hour of my soul?!
去赢下你的傻兮兮选举吧
Just go win your stupid election.
好啊
Okay.
-你好 -你好啊
- Hello. - Hello.
-在下格莱凡特 -荣幸之至
- Galavant. -What an honor.
那些传奇都是真的吗
Are all the stories true?
你好 在下理查德国王
Hi. King Richard.
或者只剩"理查德"了
Or is it just "Richard"?
说实话 我不知道自己是什么了
Honestly, I have no idea what I am.
?如果我是快乐的铁匠?
?If I were a jolly blacksmith?
?我会无忧又无虑?
?What a happy guy I'd be?
?打铁铸剑的活都归我?
?I would do all kinds of blacksmith stuff?
?做铁匠欢乐多?
?In my blacksmithery?