游侠笑传（2015）

-伊莎贝拉公主 -是啊
- Princess Isabella*- Yeah.
我正想找她呢
She's one of the people I'm looking for.
真的吗 多好啊
Really*How incredible.
我迫不及待想找到她和她的真爱格莱凡特
I'm desperate to find her and her true love, Galavant.
你在胡说些什么呢
What are you talking about?
格莱凡特跟她说 他希望她去死
Galavant told her he wished she would die.
如果我没记错 是叫她死在屁里
In a fart, if I remember correctly.
格莱凡特从来不会拿屁开玩笑
Galavant never makes fart jokes.
不 肯定是有什么误会
No, it must be a misunderstanding.
我必须立刻找到他 但要怎么找呢
I have to find him right away, but how?
不好意思 你刚是说格莱凡特吗
Excuse me. Did you say "Galavant"?
我听说他现在住在他爸家
Oh, I hear he's staying at his father's place
离这里只有5天的步行路程
Just a five days' walk away from here.
对了 我刚捡到了他的剑
Oh. And I just found his sword.
你想要吗
Do you want it?
当然了
Hell, yeah.
天啊 这真是太赞了
Oh, wow. This is amazing.
要是我有匹马就好了 那晚上就能到了
If only I had a horse I could make it by nightfall.
卖♥♥马啦
Horse for sale!
卖♥♥马啦
Horse for sale!
5天的步行路程 只需一下午就能到
Take you five days' walk in a single afternoon.
天啊 真是太完美了
Oh, my god. That's perfect.
但我没钱啊
But I have no money.
我不需要钱
I don't need money.
我需要的是一双穿过的7码的鞋
What I need is a used pair of size 7 shoes.
我恰好穿7码的鞋
I'm a size 7.
我还多带了一双呢
And I have an extra pair.
真是巧得不能再巧了 我们来换吧
What are the odds?! Let's do this.
好棒
Yipee!
祝你们好运了 朋友们
Good luck to you, friends.
如果你们去了瓦伦西亚 一定要当心
If you're in Valencia, be careful.
那里的国王和王后是疯狂 好战的怪物
The king and queen are crazy, war-minded monsters.
疯狂 好战的怪物
Crazy, war-minded monsters.
多么美妙的巧合啊
What a wonderful coincidence.
好了 孩子们 谁来训练我啊
All right, boys, who's gonna train me?
别打脸
Watch the face!
你是有什么毛病啊
What's wrong with you?
天啊
Good lord.
话说 若是在以前
You know, there was a time
我会愿意花大价钱来看到这一幕
when I would've paid good money to see this.
他跟孩子能相处得来倒是挺好的
It's nice that he's good with kids, though.
搞什么 你个小...
Why, you little --
过来 过来
Come here, come here!
格莱凡特 我现在开始担心
Galavant, I'm starting to worry
真正的战斗到来时 理查德可能会没准备好
that Richard won't be ready when the real battle comes.
当心哦 洛波塔
Careful, Roberta.
你这话听上去像是很关心他一样
You're starting to sound like someone who cares for the guy.
爱上他 我吗 什么
In love with him*Me*What?
我可没有爱上他
I'm not in love with him.
你们这些小孩是怎么回事啊
What's wrong with you people?!
一点都没有
At all.
格莱凡特爵士 告诉我们在这么好的
Sir Galavant, tell us what it was like
爸爸的呵护下成长是什么感觉吧
To grow up with your awesome dad.
-是啊 说说吧 -你可真幸运
- Yeah, tell us! - You're so lucky!
孩子们
Well, kiddies...
曾经有一次...
There was this one time...
我记得清清楚楚 彷如昨日
Well, I remember it like it was yesterday.
都围过来吧
Gather 'round.
他跟我妈说 他不爱她
He told my mother that he didn't love her
就挡着我的面说的
Right in front of my face.
然后他趴在狗狗身上昏过去了
And then he passed out on the dog.
当时可是圣诞节 然后那条狗死了
And it was Christmas, and the dog died.
那个男人 除了他自己 不关心任何人
That man doesn't care about anybody but himself.
才不是那样呢
That's not true.
*我原本在救济院 饿得小命快玩完*
*I was starving in the poorhouse*
*一年只有两顿饭*
*Where they fed us twice a year*
*我让他们多给点 他们把我赶出门*
*And they tossed me out the day I asked for more*
*然后你♥爸♥带我回你家*
*Then your dad brought me to your house*
*给我吃面包和啤酒*
*And he gave me bread and beer*
*你抽屉里的东西 也都给了我*
*Also, everything you left here in your drawer*
等等 什么
Wait. What?
*他把我们呵护 把我们呵护*
*He was there, he was there*
*送给我们你的小内♥裤♥*
*Gave me all your underwear*
*他那甜甜的爱 一直在*
*With his sweet, loving care, he was there*
开什么玩笑啊
You've got to be kidding me.
*我曾被奴隶贩子拐*
*I was carried off by slavers*
*父母双亡天花祸害*
*Where my parents died of pox*
*他们把我卖♥♥去做胶水 要把我那小命害*
*And they sold me to be rendered into glue*
*然后你♥爸♥帮了我两个忙*
*Then your dad did me two favors*
*先是把他们打得喊爹娘*
*First, he cleaned their freaking clocks*
*然后把你的东西全送我*
*Then he gave me all the gear he gave to you*
嘿 那是我最爱的帽子
Hey, that's my favorite hat!
*他把我们呵护 把我们呵护*
*He was there, he was there*
随意后空翻
Random back-flip in the air
*那么多的爱 分享给我们*
* So much more love to spare*
*真伟大*
*Such a gem*
-*真是个...* -住嘴
- *Such a --* - Stop!
*我几乎是被那个自以为是又自私的混♥蛋♥抛弃*
*I was practically abandoned by that smug and selfish jerk*
*就好像我做什么都不够*
*It's like nothing that I did was quite enough*
真是心塞
That's rough.
*再说他是个自大狂*
*Plus, his ego's out of hand*
*天生又是工作狂*
*And all he cares about is work*
*我也不敢相信 他把我的东西都给了你们*
*And I can't believe he gave you all my stuff*
什么 才不是
What?! No!
-*他把我们呵护* - *从来不呵护 *
- *He was there* - *Never there *
-*他就...* -*从来不呵护*
- *He was --* - * never, ever there*
-*可爱又善良* -*恰恰相反*
- *Sweet and kind* -* au contraire*
-*他是个圣人* -*他根本不信教*
- *He's a saint* -* not a prayer*
*令人恶心 心如冰山*
*Nasty and cold-hearted*
*就是头猪 抱怨起来说不完*
*Such a pig, don't get me started*
*他是个无赖 是个笨蛋*
*He's a schmuck, he's a schmo*
*他是我认识的最差劲的*
*He's the worst, I should know*
*他是我爸 是个恶霸*
*He's my dad, he's a cad*
他就在我身后 对吧
He's right behind me, isn't he?
妈妈 爸爸
Mama! Dad.
你们看上去糟糕透了
You look terrible.
因为你把我们扔进了地牢
Because you threw us in the dungeon.
我知道 真的很对不起
I know. And I'm so sorry.
但那不是我 我被魔咒控制了
But it wasn't me. It was a spell.
我们睡在淹了水的地上
We slept in an inch of water.
我的屁♥股♥缝里都生霉了
I have mold in the crack of my tuchus.
陶德 够了
Todd, enough.
伊莎贝拉 我们欠你一声抱歉
Isabella, we owe you an apology.
我们企图强迫你变成我们希望的样子
We tried to force you to be somebody you weren't.
对不起
And we are sorry.
对不起
Sorry.
谢谢你们
Oh, thank you.
我的宝贝
My baby.
现在一切都彻底结束了
And now it's over, forever,
因为我再也不要被我破碎的心
Because I am so done with being controlled
和哈利王子掌控了
By my broken heart and prince Harry.
我准备好成为真正的自我了
And I'm ready to become my own person.
就这么办吧
Let's do this.
我们开始吧
Let us begin.
通常 根据《王国宪♥章♥》
Typically, and by Kingdom Charter,
当一个公主要毁掉和王子的婚约
When a princess breaks off her engagement with the prince,
-只需采取一个措施即可 -好极了
- It requires one simple action. - Great.
他有权得到你的胸罩
He demands your bra.
我...我的胸罩
My -- my bra?
你的胸罩啊 向我的朋友们炫耀下
Your bra -- to show to my friends.