游侠笑传（2015）

海贼们
Pirates!
我们很快就要上岸了
Soon we will come ashore,
我会将理查德上交给他的祖国
And I will return Richard to his home kingdom...
并且把伊莎贝拉救出...
And rescue Isabella from...
天啊 我感觉不是很好
Ohh, god, I do not feel good!
有没有一个词是形容呕吐物从鼻子里喷出来的
Is there a name for when you throw up through your nose?
拜托你再忍♥忍♥ 我们就快到了
Oh, please try and keep it together. We're almost there.
另外那个词叫"鼻射"
And it's called "Snarfing."
"就快到了"
"Almost there."
你已经这样说了几个星期了
You've been saying that for weeks.
听着 人家好累
Listen, I'm tired.
我好想加瑞斯
I miss Gareth.
这帮海贼太臭了
These pirates smell horrible.
给我唱那首歌♥吧 格莱凡特
Sing me the song, Galavant.
那是唯一能让我好受些的东西了
It's the only thing that'll make me feel better.
如果我给你唱那首歌♥ 你能闭嘴吗
If I sing you the song, will you shut up?
?很久以前的时代 传奇故事自始开?
?Way back in days of old, there was a legend to...?
好好唱
Oh, do it for real!
?格莱凡特是大...?
?About a hero known as Gala...?
对不起打断下 尽管这首歌♥非常朗朗上口
Sorry to interrupt. It's a very catchy tune and all that.
没错 简直就是不绝于耳
Yeah, it's a real earworm.
满脑子都是这个旋律
Totally gets stuck in your head.
但听了太多遍 也会让人觉得听不下去了
But there's only so many times you can hear it.
不知你们是否注意到
Don't know if you noticed,
上周有4个海盗走跳板了
but four pirates walked the plank last week,
海盗处死俘虏的一种方法
茫茫大海中♥央♥ 就直接走下去了
Middle of the ocean, just walked right off.
你想说什么啊
So, what are you saying?
我想说的是...
What I'm saying is...
?你若再将那歌♥儿唱 就送你去地狱见阎王?
?We're gonna have to kill you if you sing the freakin' song?
什么
What?
-?上季没赢艾美奖 是时候翻开新篇章?-但
-?It didn't win an Emmy, now it's time to move along?- But...
-?凛冬将至?-?该死 凛冬来了?
-?Winter's not just coming?-?Hell, it came?
?然后又去了?
?And then it went?
?又是一年冬来到 欢乐盛事无人晓?
?Now it's back with this year's least expected big event!?
你是说...
You mean...?
?这是...?
?It's...a...?
?我们的英雄和朋友全新的一季?
?New season for our hero and pals?
?新的一季已来到 热辣滚烫哇哇叫?
?A new season, and it's gonna be scorchin'?
?新的一季已来到 欢闹和异国情调?
?Off on new sprees in new, exotic locales?
?客串嘉宾名气响 电视网下血本硬扛?
?With new guests who'll cost the Network a fortune?
?我是真命天子 誓要收复城♥堡♥?
?I'll go reclaim the castle I'm the rightful ruler of?
?我将历经重重阻碍?
?I'll suffer through the hassle?
?救出我此生真爱?
?Then go save my one true love?
?新的一季已来到?
?It's a new season?
?我们不再唱旧调?
?So we won't be reprisin' that tune?
?很久以前的时代?
?Way back in days of old?
?传奇故事自始开?
?There was a legend told?
-?哒啦啦啦啦啦 格莱凡特?-不要
-?Da-da, da-da, da-da-da Galavant?- No!
?霍坦西亚也迎来新一季?
?It's a new season in Hortensia, too?
?全新一季内容妙不可及?
?A new season, and it's totally bitchin'?
?我们的新衣又生出新跳蚤?
?We've got new fleas in our new clothing?
?对极了?
?It's true?
?高端的厨房♥又多了新奶酪?
?And new cheese in our new cutting-edge kitchen?
?我们在这里陪着公主?
?We'll stay here with the princess?
?直到她嫁给表弟王储?
?Till she weds her little cuz?
?我们知道这是乱♥伦♥ 但本家族欲罢不能?
?Yes, we know it's incest still it's what our fam'ly does?
?新的一季已来到?
?It's a new season?
?伊兹在小屋中熬?
?And my Izzy, why, she's in her room?
?我拼尽全力只为重获自♥由♥?
?I've tried so desp'rately to win my freedom?
?是的 我已拼尽全力?
?Tried, yes, I've tried?
?上帝啊 我已拼尽全力?
?Dear god, I've tried?
?作为女权主义者?
?Though, as a feminist?
?并非没他不能活?
?I don't quite need him?
?你在哪里 我的格莱凡特?
?Where is my Galavant??
?快来找我 格莱凡特?
?Come find me, Galavant?
?我们的故事线何时才能交汇?
?When will our plot lines re-collide??
?新的一季已来到 新的王者已铸造?
?It's a new season for our brand-new regime?
?新的一季已来到 瓦伦西亚阳光好?
?A new season here in sunny Valencia?
?新的叛国计谋层出不穷?
?With new treason to deliciously scheme?
?新的变♥态♥痴呆技高一筹?
?At new levels of psychotic dementia?
?我要全面夺取统治权?
?I'm putting ev'ry qualm aside to seize the kingdom's reins?
?我会唱着歌♥儿杀人玩?
?I'll commit some homicide and sing a few refrains?
?全新的一季 或许我可以...?
?And this season maybe I'll get to squeeze in some...?
?在接下来的几周?
?So in the weeks to come?
?请无视选美大赛?
?Ignore the pageants that they'll hold?
?跳过橄榄球比赛?
?Skip the football matches?
?以及金球奖典礼?
?And the globes made out of gold?
?学徒们都滚蛋?
?Screw all those apprentices?
《学徒》和《单身女郎》
都是真人秀节目
?单身女郎全玩完?
?And ev'ry bachelorette?
?都来见证这一奇迹 大家都以为没第二季?
?Give in to the miracle that no one thought we'd get?
?这是...?
?It's...a...?
?全新的一季?
?New season?
?尽管依然不长?
?Though it's still not that long?
?新的一季已来到 细微差别见分晓?
?A new season with some slightly new shadings?
?依然是说着说着 突然唱起了欢歌♥?
?There's still no reason why we burst into song?
?若是本季收视好 太阳定在西边照?
?You'll know hell's freezin' if we get decent ratings?
?跟皇族?
?Join the royals?
?小丑?
?And the jester?
?仆人?
?And the servant?
?主厨?
?And the chef?
?王后?
?The queen?
?恶棍?
?The thug?
?英雄?
?The hero?
?以及英雄的好基友?
?And the hero's B.F.F.?
?新一季的大结局?
?And the whole season?
?瓦伦西亚 霍坦西亚纷纷派兵?
?Ends with armies from Valencia, Hortensia?
?理查德的王国将上演硝烟大战?
?And Richard's land in one ginormous battle?
?一决胜负看谁是真正的王者?
?To decide who's gonna be the one true king?
?来统治整个...?
?To rule the whole entire...?
真会剧透啊 你个白♥痴♥
Way to blow it, you prat.
?新的一季已来到?
?It's a new season?
?抓紧手中的宝刀?
?So hang on to your sword?
?新的一季已来到 录制机可能已设定好?
?A new season which you'll prob'ly record?
?新的一季已来到 一起放松笑一笑?
?A new season, so get comfortable, please?
?好戏即将登场?
?And let's go-o-o-o?
瞧瞧 这才叫一曲惊人
See, now, that was a number.
我看到陆地了
I see land!
等等 我对这一带很熟
Wait. I know this area.
那里 在那儿上岸最安全
There... that is the safest place to come ashore.
你确定吗
You're certain?
我这辈子就没这么确定过
I've never been more certain of anything in my life.
我之前根本搞不清状况啊
I do not know what I was talking about...
一点儿都搞不清
Not even a little.
都听好 都听好
Hear ye! Hear ye!
王后和王后身边的男人上朝了
Presenting the queen and the guy that was with the queen
她杀那个"疑似国王"的时候 他也在场
when she killed the other guy who was kind of the king!
或许稍后该讨论下我的头衔了
Maybe later we can discuss my title.
今天庭上都有哪些不足挂齿的小事
And what trifling business is before the court today?
王后 以及那个王后身边的男人 当...
My queen, my guy who was with the queen when she...
直接说正事吧
Get on with it.
一只鸡在我们两家交界的地方生了个蛋
A chicken laid an egg on the border between our two properties.
我们不知该怎么办 就把蛋留在了那儿
We didn't know what to do, so we just let it sit there.
但是后来这只鸡从那个蛋里孵化了出来
But then this chicken hatched from that egg,
现在我们不知道这只新的鸡...
and -- and now we don't know who the new chicken,
归谁
Um, belongs to.
不是吧 你们当真吗 没开玩笑吗
Is this for real? Is this really happening?
我来处理
I got this.
我觉得我们得弄明白前因后果
I think what we need to consider here is what came first.
有只鸡 有个蛋