大学同学（2017）

That's awful. I meant to say that that's awful.
看起来这真是个糟糕的地方
It's like a really bad place.
周围都是一群烂人
I'm in bed with some really bad people.
你可不是坏人
You are not a bad person.
我没说我是坏人 我是说...
No, I didn't say that I was a bad person. I was saying that...
我也没说 我说你不是
Neither did I. I said you were not.
我很抱歉 我不知道为什么
I'm sorry, I don't know why
我一直在纠结这个 我很抱歉
I keep getting hung up on this. I am so sorry.
我该怎么做 我要怎样才能让你舒服一点
What can I do? How can I make it better?
你可以来城里带我出去吃午餐
Well, I mean, you can come into the city and take me for lunch.
看着正派君子的脸吃饭会安心点
It'd be nice to see the face of a decent human being.
我也想跟你吃饭 但是我...
I wish that I could, but I'm...
但我还带着玛丽安娜的兔子看兽医呢
I'm still at the vet with Marianne's rabbit.
你人真好
It's nice of you to take care of it.
那哔哔的声音是什么
What's that beeping sound?
哔哔声 他们正给安娜塔西亚用心脏监护器
The beeping? They have Anastasia on a heart monitor.
天呐 她没事吧
Jesus, is she going to be okay?
-没事 只是他们比较谨慎 -好吧
- Yeah. They're being cautious. - Okay.
那我们就在玛丽安娜的演出之前
Well, I'm going to see you for drinks with Nick
跟尼克喝酒的时候见好了
before Marianne's play, right?
怎么了
What's happening?
一只比特犬不行了
Shit's going down with a pit bull,
或者罗特韦尔犬 杜宾犬 松狮犬之类的
Rottweiler, Doberman, chow mix!
我得挂了 宝贝 太疯狂了
I've got to go, honey. This is crazy!
一只狗在吃猫
No, a dog is eating the cat!
-简直像在看动画片 -伊桑
-It's straight-up cartoon shit. -Ethan!
一切安好 先不说了
Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Bye.
搞什么
What...
我他妈才不管呢
I don't give a fuck!
操
Fuck you!
好的 我等一下好了
Yeah, I'll hold.
玛丽安娜超爱这只兔子
Marianne loved this rabbit.
这兔子可能是她最好的朋友
This might have been her best friend.
-我才是她最好的朋友 -对 你真棒
-I'm her best friend! -Okay. Good for you.
好了 她可能会崩溃的
Alright. She'll still be devastated.
你要跟我一起告诉她这坏消息
You have to help me break the news to her.
你疯了吗 我们不应该在一起的
Are you crazy? We are not supposed to be together.
这是你的破事
This is on you!
那我要怎么办
What am I supposed to do?
把尸体还给她 然后跟她道歉杀了她的兔子
Return the body to Marianne and apologize for killing her rabbit.
这才是好人会做的事
That's what a good person would do.
或者好人会找一只一模一样的兔子
Or would a good person find
免得玛丽安娜痛苦
an identical rabbit to spare Marianne the pain?
放屁 你是在掩盖自己的罪行
That's not good. It's covering your ass!
也对 你道德方面只是刚好合格
That's right, you got a C in moral reasoning.
我要掩盖的是我们俩的事
You know what? I'm covering both of our asses
而且这是为了她好
and that's altruism.
你真是个康德主义者 我在找更好的方法
You're such a strict Kantian. You know I'm relativistic!
康德认为撒谎在任何情况下都是错误的
如果我把真♥相♥告诉玛丽安娜
If I tell Marianne the truth,
我们的生活就毁了
it's going to blow up our lives!
我不喜欢你这样做
I don't like it!
我不喜欢这样
I don't like it.
你的每一个修复都会产生新的问题
Every one of your fixes creates new problems.
你简直就是个建筑承包商
You're like a contractor!
-你也有责任却在责骂我 -我知道
-And you lash out when you're at fault. -I am aware!
你说得对
You're right.
你一点都没有错
You're totally 100 percent right.
我们要告诉玛丽安娜真♥相♥
We're going to tell Marianne the truth
然后把安娜斯塔西亚的尸体还给她
and return Anastasia's body.
你弄得我好紧张 怎么这么久
You're making me really nervous. What's taking so long?
你知不知道 徒手挖洞是件很艰难的事
You know what, it's hard to dig a hole with your bare hands.
我又没有爪子
I don't have paws.
-我们要走了 -好了 快搞定了
-We've got to go! -Okay! Alright!
好了 搞定
Okay. Alright.
再见了 你是个好室友
Goodbye. You were a great roommate.
-快点 -来了
-Come on! -Yes, alright!
我们在找一只跟这一模一样的兔子
So what we're looking for is a rabbit that looks just like that.
-你们在找海棠兔 -对的 一只海棠兔
-Oh, you're looking for a Hotot? -Yes! A Hotot.
这只就是了 搞定
There we go. There's the guy. Nail it, Done.
那是纽西兰白兔
That's a New Zealand white.
你给我看的那只兔子大概就四斤左右
Your rabbit you showed me look about five pounds.
但这只会长到八到十斤左右
This girl's going to fill out to be ten, maybe 12 pounds.
她会在接下去五个小时里长出四五斤吗
Will she gain five pounds in the next five hours?
如果不会的话 我就不管了
Cause if it's not, I don't care.
不会
No.
可是她眼睛周围没有黑色的毛
But she doesn't have the black rings around her eyes.
你说得对
Very good!
海棠兔的特点就是有黑眼圈
Hotots have characteristic black rings around their eyes.
我们这里没有海棠兔
We have no Hotots.
我们先把兔子带回去 然后去看话剧
We take the rabbit back, then go to the play.
-好的 -你确定这睫毛膏能用吗
-Yeah. -Are you sure this mascara's okay?
没问题的 它就是在兔子身上做的试验
It's fine. That stuff was literally tested on rabbits.
-天啊 萨姆 -你已经杀了一只兔子了
-Jesus, Sam. -You've already killed a rabbit.
就别关心什么实验动物了
We're past the cruelty-free conversation.
你知道吗
You know what?
-我都不知道自己在做什么了 -没事的
-I don't know what I'm doing any more. -It's fine.
很完美了 玛丽安娜不会发现的
It's perfect. Marianne will never know the difference.
把它放进笼子里 不要再害死一只了
Put it back in its cage so you don't kill another one.
你真的一点都不在乎吗
Are you not concerned at all?
我当然在乎 我们害死了一只小兔子
Of course I'm concerned! We killed a bunny!
我不明白 我们在干什么
I don't understand. What are we doing?
你以前有骗[出轨]过别人吗
Have you ever cheated on somebody before?
没有 当然没有
No! Of course not!
-你有吗 -我没有
-Have you? -No!
在你眼里我是怎样的人
What kind of person do you think I am?
我搞不清楚现在是怎么样 我们在做什么
I don't understand what's going on. What are we doing?
我不知道
I don't know.
我们认识太久了
It's just... it's lasted for so long.
开始那时 并不是出轨
When we started, it wasn't cheating.
我们只是两个小孩约约会
No, we were just two kids hooking up.
你是我第二个约会的女生
You were the second person I was ever with.
感觉你的阴♥道♥刻在了我脑海中
It's like your vagina is imprinted on my brain.
-我们是好人 -我们坏透了
-We're good people. -We are such bad people.
我们坏透了
We're such bad people.
好了 伊桑不来喝东西了
Okay, Ethan just bailed on drinks.
他就是个懦夫
He's a loser, anyway.
-是的 -对吧
-Yeah. -Right?
让他吃屎吧
Screw that guy!
天啊 这工作
Oh, God. This job.
我那些同事 真是太可怕了
The people that I work with, they're so terrible.
他们都是邪恶的人 他们好邪恶
They're evil people. They're evil.
往好的方面想 他们的孩子肯定像我一样蠢
Well, on the bright side, their kids will be fuck-ups like me.
-什么 别这么说自己 -你在说什么
-What? Don't be so hard on yourself. -What are you talking about?
你有信托基金又不是你的错 好吗
Look, it's not your fault that you have a trust fund. Okay?
你说得对 我也是受害者
Yeah, you're right. I'm sort of the victim in this situation.
-也不至于 -不 你说得对
-I wouldn't go that far. -No, you're right.
-不 听着 -我是受害者
-No, listen. -I am a victim.
听着 如果我超级有钱 我也不会做什么
Listen, if I had a ton of money, I wouldn't do anything, either.
谢谢 不过我不这么认为 我觉得你会
Thank you. That's not true. I think you would.
因为你就像
Because you're, like,
生活要过的有意义的那种人
the type of person that has to have meaning in their life.
你不也是 你没意识到罢了
You do, too, you just don't realize it
因为你忙着在"花丛"中
because you're too busy
和比你小一半年龄的美女
sleeping with a rotating harem of beautiful women
卿卿我我
that are half your age.
"花丛"这种说法有点贬低人
Okay. I find the term "rotating harem" degrading.
-对吧 -但很贴切
- Okay? - But accurate.
这更像是一场性♥爱♥启蒙之旅
It's more of like a sexual mentorship, for example.
-什么 -再来两杯威士忌
- What? - Can we get two more scotches?
谢谢
Thank you.