大学同学（2017）

Honey... Sir. She's sorry. She doesn't mean that.
-就耽误你一分钟 -我靠
- If you open the door for one minute... - God damn it!
-搞什么 -快开门
- What is going on? - Open the door! Come on!
开门
Open the door!
-丽萨 -他妈的给我开门
- Lisa! - Open the fucking door!
-你怎么不帮我 -因为你跟疯了似的
- Why aren't you helping me? - Because you're acting crazy.
-你说什么 -对不起
- What did you just say? - I'm sorry.
-你说什么 -我...
- What did you just say? - What I meant...
你说什么 不准说我疯
What did you just say? Don't call me crazy.
好 我不说了
Okay. I won't.
你根本不知道我是什么感受
You have no idea what this has been like for me.
就好像干着一份垃圾全职工作
It's like having a full-time job that sucks
然后再干一份垃圾全职工作
on top of another full-time job that sucks.
你要是不去纠结你的采精杯
If you weren't so busy fine-tuning your masturbation protocol,
就不会摔碎药瓶了
you wouldn't have dropped the vial in the first place!
我们没奥施康定了 听到了吗
We have no Oxy. We have no Oxy, do you hear me?
-没奥施康定了 听懂了吗 -先生
- No Oxy. You understand me? No Oxy! - Sir...
我们不要奥施康定 HCG
We don't want Oxy, sir. HCG. HCG.
我们不要奥施康定 我们要HCG
We don't want Oxy. We want HCG, please.
求你了 备孕用的 我们想要宝宝
Sir, please. It's for fertility. We're trying to have a baby.
求你了 求你了
Please, sir! Please! Please!
我现在没法重新登入收银系统
Look, I can't sign back into the system now.
已经关了
It's all turned off.
我给你吹♥箫♥
I'll suck your dick?
我考虑了一下
I did the math,
我愿意为了三万块去吹♥箫♥
and, yes, I would suck a dick for $30,000.
所以我刚刚才那么说
That's the conclusion that I came to.
我要不这样才是疯了
It would be crazy not to.
懂了吧
You know?
-怎么 -我没接到电♥话♥
- What? - I missed a call.
你居然没接到电♥话♥
How could you miss a call?
因为当时我们在朝药店
Well, because we were throwing Coke cans
扔可乐罐和垃圾啊
and garbage at a pharmacy!
-然后有点吵 -快听留言
- It was a little loud! - Listen to the message!
谁 谁 快听 谁
Who is it? Who is it? Listen to it! Who is it?
-我在听着呢 -谁
- I'm listening. - Who is it?
我在听 丽萨 是...
I'm trying to hear it. Lisa, it's Dr...
-他妈的快说 -是特维诺医生
- Just fucking tell me who it is! - It's Dr. Trevino.
他说明早再打来重新预约受孕
He's saying to call in the morning to reschedule the retrieval.
-不 -他就是这么说的
- What? No! - That's what he's saying.
他没懂 我们就得现在打
He doesn't understand. We need to do it now!
求你别去给菲利克斯吹♥箫♥
Please don't offer to suck Felix's dick. OK?
我怎么做都不对
I can't do anything right.
我做了你要发疯 我不做你也要发疯
You're mad if I do, you're mad if I don't.
先说清楚 你不做我可没发疯
To be clear, I'm not mad at if you don't.
-菲利克斯 -先闻
- Hey, Felix. - Smell it first.
-我靠 -真的非常抱歉
- Oh, Jesus Christ. - No, I'm really sorry.
可我们联♥系♥过特维诺医生
But we talked to Dr. Trevino
他要我们重新预约受孕时间
and he said that we have to reschedule.
可这么做的话 我的卵子就少了一半
But I'm going to lose half of my follicles if he does that.
我真的对此非常抱歉
I am genuinely so sorry about this,
可是说真的 我无能为力
but, literally, there's nothing I can do.
-我知道 -你肯定有忙能帮上的
- I know, but I... - There's got to be something you can do.
-他们已经试了好多年了 -大家都这样
- They've been trying for years. - Everyone tries for years.
每次术前必须准时打♥针♥
Look, every one of these surgeries is tied to a timed shot.
我还有一对夫妻今晚十点打♥针♥
I have another couple who took a shot at 22:00 tonight,
一对十点半打 一对十一点打
another at 22:30, another who did it at 23:00,
十一点半 十二点
23:30 and 24:00 and so on...
我们懂
We follow.
如果我给你重排了时间
And if I reschedule with you,
意味着有另一对夫妻将失去他们的机会
it means another couple loses their chance.
这对他们不公平
And that's not fair.
这礼拜只有我一个医生
I'm the only doctor in the clinic this week
因为范因斯坦去蒙托克了
because Feinstein's out in Montauk.
哥们 他们都是我最亲近的朋友
Look, these are my oldest friends, hun.
就把这当作是送我的生日礼物吧
Consider this a birthday present to me.
还有这次晚餐 我很享受
Along with the dinner, which is... you know, I'm enjoying.
-那好吧 当然 -天呐 谢谢你
- Alright. Yes, of course. - Oh, my God! Thank you!
-十分感谢 -没事 请别哭
- Thank you so much. - Yes, alright. Please don't cry.
-我知道该怎么做了 走吧 -太好了
- I think I know what to do. Let's go. - Yes!
谢谢
Thank you.
-怎么回事 -药房♥被锁住了
- What's happening? - The pharmacy's locked.
不然呢 里面放的都是处方药啊
Yeah, because there are prescription drugs in there.
那我去找默哈穆德 他有钥匙 等着
Alright, I'll go find Mohammed. He'll have the key. Hold on.
就像是在玩小游戏一样对吧
It's kind of like a fun... a fun caper though, right?
-你记得你之前吼我那次吗 -哪次
- You know before, when you yelled at me? - Which time?
药店外面 你指责我
Outside the pharmacy when you accused me of
说我不理解你经历了些什么
not understanding what you're going through.
-我没这么说 -你就是这么说的
- That's not what I said. - That's exactly what you said.
-但我不是那个意思 -太难理解你了
- Okay well that's not what I meant! - Look at the Sphinx over here.
-那你是什么意思 -我只是...
- Then, what did you mean? - I just...
我只是不敢相信你这么不想要小孩
I just can't believe that you don't want to have a child so bad
居然会摔了药瓶
that you would sabotage it.
-你觉得我是故意摔碎的吗 -是啊
- You think I broke the thing on purpose? - Yeah.
我不是故意摔碎它的
I didn't break the thing on purpose.
好吧你没有 但这是你的潜意识做的
Okay fine, you didn't, but your subconscious did.
我和我的潜意识都没故意弄碎药瓶 好吗
Neither I, nor my subconscious, broke the vial on purpose, okay?
你把针头落在了玛丽安娜的公♥寓♥
You left the needle at Marianne's apartment.
那是你故意的吗
Did you do that on purpose?
我不是... 听我说
I didn't do... You know what? No.
你过去是赞同生小孩的
You used to be on board with having a child
但现在你看上去不太想了
and now it doesn't seem like you want to do that.
所以你能跟我说实话吗 伊桑
So can you just be honest with me, Ethan?
坦白对我说
Be honest with me!
-你想不想生小孩 -我不知道
- Do you want to have a child? - I don't know!
我不知道
I don't know.
但你想生 而我爱你
But you do, and I love you,
我想让你如愿以偿
and I want you to get what you want.
这世上
That's the only thing
我只在乎这一件事 好吗
that matters to me in the whole world, alright?
我摔碎了那该死的药剂
And I think I broke the stupid shot
是因为我觉得我辜负了你
because I feel like I fail you
我怎么做都不对
every time I try anything.
我找不到好公♥寓♥ 不能很好地安抚你
I can't find an apartment, I can't comfort you properly.
我连收买♥♥一个药剂师都做不到
I can't even bribe a pharmacist correctly.
-我们没时间说这个了 -什么
- We don't have time for this, alright. - What?
-天呐 别这样 -等等 别用椅子啊
- Oh, my God! No! - Wait! Not the chair.
-我没问题 -小心点 地上都是玻璃渣
- I got this. - Be careful. There's glass everywhere.
我会没事的
I'll be okay.
我穿着鞋
I'm wearing shoes.
对 没错
Oh, right, yeah.
这太酷了
That was awesome!
找到了
Bingo.
这工作量有点大啊
This is a lot of work!
-你想试试吗 -扔过来
- You want to do this one? - Toss it here.
正中中心
Boom! X marks the spot!
太好了
Yes!
我们成功了
We did it!
你们是有什么毛病啊
What is wrong with you people?
我们会赔钱的
We are gonna pay for this.
你住在别人的沙发上 怎么赔
You live on someone's couch!
你们好 我是范因斯坦医生
Hello, I'm Dr. Feinstein,
今天由我来负责你的受孕
I'll be doing your retrieval today
我本该是和家人在蒙托克享受假期的
instead of enjoying my vacation with my family in Montauk.
-有任何疑问吗 -没...
- Any questions? - No...
没有 我只想说非常感谢您
Not really. Just wanted to say thank you so much.
没有什么事情
Nothing makes me happier than
比我为了帮你们生小孩
seeing my weeping children chasing my car
看着我家孩子边哭边追着车跑更开心了
as I come here to help you start your family.
-那是讽刺吧 -丽莎 你开始输液了
- That's sarcasm. - Okay, Lisa. I've started your IV.
你会感受到一股温暖