大学同学（2017）

Okay, here's one. Vampires with cancer. Right?
他们永生永逝 对吧
They live forever, they die forever, right?
或者反着来 先想一个书名
Or work backwards. Start with a title
再想内容 再举个例子
and then come up with the book. Here's one.
《死亡之球》 死亡之球是什么
Deathball. What's Deathball?
我也不知道 但听起来很棒 不是吗
I don't know, but it sounds awesome, right?
没人能活过死亡之球
No one survives Deathball.
我们会搞定它的
You and I are gonna crack this.
就像我们在大学时写的那些东西那样
Like the stuff we wrote together in college.
说不定还能成为下一本国际畅销小说呢
And it just might become the next massive international success.
我的天哪 太棒了
Oh, my God! It's amazing!
麦克斯 青少年小说是毁灭性的 你懂吗
Max, YA is destructive, do you understand?
那都是成年人拒绝长大
It's all about adults who are refusing to grow up
却要来看写给小孩的书
and instead they read books that are for kids!
它让你的生活停滞不前
It prevents you from moving forward and living your life
而且正在破坏我们的文化
and it is destroying our culture!
-所以你同意了 -是 我他妈同意了
- So that's a yes? - Yes, fuck you, it's a yes.
非常感谢你们时间如此紧迫还安排了饭局
Thank you guys so much for organizing this so last minute.
所以我们才要搬到纽约 是吗 亲爱的
This is exactly why we moved to New York, right, honey?
是的 这有好友团
Yep, friend group.
我在上一次同学聚会时发现
I found at my last reunion,
我和我霍夫斯特拉大学的同学没什么共同语言
I didn't have that much in common with my Hofstra friends.
我们是幸运的 因为我们
Well, we got lucky, because we consider
把大学同学当做家人
our college friends to be our family.
我的家人才是我的家人
My family is my family.
所以你现在怎么样
So, what's your deal?
丽莎是个律师 你都认识她十年了
Lisa's an attorney. You've known her for ten years.
没事
That's okay.
我以前在密歇根的美国公民自♥由♥协会工作
I used to work for the ACLU in Michigan.
美国非营利组织 通过诉讼捍卫和保护
美国宪法与法律中所肯定的个人♥权♥利和自♥由♥
什么 所以你是个有同情心的人喽
What? So you're a bleeding heart?
不 不再是了
Well, no, not any more.
我现在给一家对冲基金当法律总顾问
Now I work as a general counsel for a hedge fund.
-哪家 -黑凳集团
- Which one? - Blackstool Group.
-是狄格拉索的公♥司♥吗 -是的
- Is that Degrasso's shop? - Yeah, it is.
我喜欢这位
I like this one.
她叫丽莎
Her name is Lisa.
丽莎 比萨 披萨 丽莎 记住了
Lisa, Pisa. Pisa, pizza. Lisa, Lisa... Got it.
我们很高兴你们能过来
We are just so happy you guys are here.
如果有什么可以帮你们平稳过渡的
If there's anything we can do to ease the transition,
一定要告诉我们
just let us know.
-比如给我们买♥♥张床 -天哪
- Like maybe buying us a bed? - Oh, my gosh.
不好意思 什么
I'm sorry, what?
-萨姆和乔恩今天送了我们一张床 -是吗
- Sam and Jon bought us a bed today. - We did?
谢谢 虽然完全没有必要
Thank you, guys. That was totally unnecessary.
-我同意 -只是个乔迁礼物而已
- I agree. - It was just a little housewarming gift.
-一张霍莉·亨特的四帷柱床 -还是奇怪
- A four poster from Holly Hunt. - Still weird.
美国家具品牌
好了 不说床了
Anyway, enough about beds.
对了 我想听听麦克斯对《暴风雨》的评价
Yeah, I want to hear what Max said about Storm.
他说了什么
What did he say?
暴风雨 什么暴风雨
Storm? What is Storm?
《暴风雨》是伊桑这两年
Storm is this amazing novel
写的超级棒的小说
that Ethan's been working on for the past two years.
是的
Yeah.
-我不喜欢小说 无意冒犯 -未曾介怀
- I don't like fiction. No offense. - None taken.
我最喜欢的三本书是
My three favorite books,
《说谎者的扑克牌》《点球成金》和《大空头》Liar's Poker, Moneyball and The Big Short.
均为美国作家迈克尔·刘易斯的畅销小说
-你是迈克尔·刘易斯的书迷 -那是谁
- Right. So you're a Michael Lewis fan. - Who's that?
-他是... -不是什么畅销书
- He's the... - It's not bestseller stuff, you know.
更像是文学小说 挣不了多少钱
It's like literary fiction. There's not a lot of money.
事实上
Well, actually...
麦克斯觉得书会大卖♥♥的
Max thinks it's gonna be a huge sale.
-是首推作品 -真的吗
- Flagship property. - Really?
-真的吗 -天哪 亲爱的 这太棒了
- Really? - Oh, my God! Honey, that is so amazing!
-谢谢 -我太为你骄傲了
- Thank you, yes. - I am so proud of you!
-能挣很多钱 -要我说 我们庆祝一下
- It's gonna be big money. - You know what? Let's celebrate!
你们还没去过我们的郊区别♥墅♥
You guys haven't seen our country house.
你们应该去看看
You should come up and see it.
周末我会邀请所有人到康涅狄格
I'll invite everybody up to Connecticut for the weekend.
-我不接受拒绝 新生 -好
- And I'm not taking no for an answer, Froshy. - Okay.
这太棒了
This is so great.
你看到伊桑提起书时多努力地想轻描淡写吗
Could you believe how hard Ethan was trying to downplay his book?
他对出书简直兴奋得要死
He was clearly so excited about it.
他为什么不干脆承认呢 真可悲
Why can't he just admit it? It's kind of pathetic.
你给他们买♥♥了一张床
You bought them a bed?
是 没什么大不了的
Yes. What is the big deal?
我每天都给别人买♥♥床
I buy beds for people every day.
是 但是用别人的钱 不是我们的
Yeah, with their money, not ours.
我知道你爱你的大学同学们
I know you love your college friends,
但你们每次一见面
but every time you get together with them,
就都变成了一帮婊♥子♥
you all become a bunch of little bitches,
相互中伤和炫耀
all the sniping and showing off.
你不需要炫耀 我们犯不着攀比
You don't have to show off to them. We don't have to compete.
那个女孩叫什么来着 披萨
What's the girl's name? Pizza.
-她不叫披萨 她叫丽莎 -好吧
- Her name is not Pizza, it's Lisa. - Right, yeah.
而且我没有在和他们攀比
And I'm not competing with them,
我只是在谈论他们 这有个过程
I'm talking about them, I'm processing.
我在试图跟上你的脚步
I'm trying to download with you.
你为什么不能也那么做呢
Why won't you do that with me?
你让我感觉自己像个疯子
You're making me feel crazy.
他们有他们的生活
They are living their lives,
我们有我们的 这二者没有关系
we are living our lives. It's irrelevant.
我就不会花费时间去考虑别人
I don't spend my time thinking about people other than us.
我只考虑你是不是幸福
I think about whether you're happy.
考虑我们的孩子是不是幸福
I think about whether our children are happy.
对我来说那才是最重要的
That's what matters to me.
我们已经尝试了大约有一年了
Yeah, so, we've been trying, really, for about a year now.
-是的 -一年 就这么点时间
- Yeah. - A year? That's it?
那不算长 你们为什么要来
That's not very long. Why are you here?
我们大约有八年没有采取保护措施了
Well, we haven't used protection in, like, eight years.
-我也觉得有八年了 -好吧
- I'd say eight years, yeah. - Alright.
但这也很常见 是吗 对某些...
But that's pretty average, right, for somebody...
-这很正常 是吗 -我很高兴你们来了
- That's normal, right? - Well, it's good that you're here.
好吧
Yeah, right, okay.
我看到你怀过一次孕
And I see here you had one pregnancy
在六周的时候打掉了
that was terminated after six weeks.
-是的 大学的时候 -不是我的
- Yeah, that was in college. - It's before my time.
你们的检查结果都很正常
None of your labs look out of the ordinary
超声波看上去也没问题
and your ultrasound looks good.
所以我们要彻底检查一下
So we're gonna get to the bottom of this.
-好 好极了 -很好
- Good, fantastic. - Amazing.
还有 也许不要再互相抓蛋蛋了
And in the meantime, maybe stop grabbing each other's balls.
好吧 我会记下来的
Oh, okay, yes, I'll make a note of that.
我只是开个玩笑
No, I was joking.
我们见面时 你们握了手之后
When we met, you guys had your handshake
你们互相抓对方的蛋蛋
and you were grabbing each other's balls.
-你和麦克斯见面时 -玛丽安娜家见面时
- When you... with Max. - When we met you at Marianne's.
还有 别穿紧身裤
And don't wear a Speedo.
-好吧 -正确着装 我们不会
- Right. - Correct dress. We will not...
我是认真的 别穿紧身裤
No, I'm serious, don't wear a Speedo.
-你是说 好吧 那是真的啊 -没错
- Oh, you're saying... Okay, that's real. - Correct.
我们现在明白了
We understand now, I think.
马上就改 不♥穿♥紧身裤
Press to change and don't wear a Speedo.
没问题
Alright.
还有不要泡热水澡
And don't get in a hot tub!
你们走之前
Oh, and before you go...
我想把费用写下来 保险支付后的费用
I just want to write down the cost of this, after insurance,
这样大家心里都有数
so we're all on the same page.
如果你们有任何问题
If you have any questions,
尽管告诉我们 好吗
please feel free to let us know, alright?