大学同学（2017）

已经好多年没人叫我派对狗了
No-one has called me Party Dog for years.
是人类年还是狗年
Is that human years or dog years?
派对嗨起来
Now it's a party!
其实 我现在
I actually, I don't really like
很反感派对狗这个绰号♥了
being called Party Dog anymore at all.
我不参加派对了 戒酒了
I don't party. I'm sober now. So...
-懂了 -抱歉
- Got it. - Sorry.
没事
No problem.
-我替这几个白♥痴♥道歉 -很高兴见到你
- I apologize on behalf of these idiots. - It's good to see you.
-很高兴见到你 -你真漂亮
- Good to see you. - You look fantastic.
-谢谢 -奇怪了 明明是新衣服
- Thank you so much. - This is so weird. This is a new coat.
总感觉背后怪怪的 能帮我抓一下吗
There's something on the back of it. Can you scratch there?
-派对狗 -逗你们玩的呢
- Party Dog! - I was fucking with you guys.
-我也没戒酒 照喝不误 -骗到我了
- I'm not sober either. I drink. - You freaked me out!
-还是酒鬼 -我前面还想着"真扫兴"
- I drink heavily. - I was like, "What a buzzkill!"
我知道独自一人参加婚礼很痛苦
Hey, I know it's hard to be alone at a wedding,
所以今晚你可以跟我作伴
so you can be my date tonight.
没事没事 其实我今晚还要作祝酒词
I'm fine. I'm fine. In fact, I'm gonna give a toast tonight,
所以一点儿没事
that's how fine I am.
等等 里奇真的叫你来作吗
Wait a minute. Is that something Rich wants you to do?
我估计就只是开场助个兴
No, but I'm sure it's an open mic thing, right?
我不觉得
No. I don't think so. I don't think so.
我觉得你要作的
I think it's more of a don't give an
可不是什么即兴演讲
extemporaneous speech kind of thing.
听了我的开场 他们都会满意的
Once I get started, they'll be glad I did.
我作的祝酒词可精彩了 你们都知道的
I give great toasts, guys. You know that. I give great toasts.
不好说 你现在状态调整好了吗
I don't know. Are you in the right headspace for it?
别担心 我轻松搞定
Don't worry about me. I got this.
我觉得不怎么样
I don't think it's such a good idea.
再说了 独自一人参加婚礼太苦逼了好吗
Besides, being alone at a wedding sucks, right?
祝酒词这玩意儿
And this toast bullshit
可以分散我的注意力 我需要作
is gonna distract me, so just... I need this.
-行 -期待我的祝酒词吧
- Cool. - Let me give my great toast.
行 加油
You got it. Cool. Cool.
我已经想好怎么开头了
I already have my first line.
听好了
I'm gonna say,
"据说50%的婚姻最后都走向离婚"
"So, I hear 50% of all marriages end in divorce."
不如你后面再接个梗 甩个包袱
Maybe you should add a twist where you then say a funny thing.
不 我觉得这样就行 不然越说越错
No, I think just leave it at that. Cos it's gonna fail.
比如会立马把你请下来
Just like bring him down right off the bat?
你们真打算这么做吗
Are you really gonna do that?
-嗯 -是吗
- Yeah. - Yeah?
那又怎样 这可是婚礼
Who cares? It's a wedding.
他们会找到其他位子坐的
They'll find somewhere else to sit.
不 其实 这是他们...
No, actually, this is where they would...
-18桌 -抱歉
- Table 18. - Sorry.
别说了
Nope.
我觉得我们坐了...
I think we're in their...
没我们名字
No names.
-估计在那边 -特纳夫妇
- I think it's that side. - Turners.
对 是我们俩 丽萨和伊桑
Yes, we're the Turners. Lisa and Ethan, yes.
我们对号♥入座了 对号♥入座
We're in our seats. We're actually in our real seats.
我们对号♥入座
We're in our correct seats.
-你是麦克斯 -是我
- You're Max. - I'm Max.
-奇怪了 -18桌
- So that's weird. - Seat 18.
是啊 太奇怪了
It is. It's very weird.
怪了
Awkward. Okay.
-我们再去找找 -好
- We'll keep looking. - Okay.
各位 逗趣伊桑要去拿点喝的了
Well, guys, Fun Ethan is about to get this table some drinks!
-好 -告诉我你们要喝点啥
- Yes! - So I need to know what your orders are.
我肯定拿不下 谁来帮我
There's gonna be a lot. Who's gonna help?
-这是干什么 -你不知道吗
- What's this? - What do you mean what's this?
-你是共♥产♥党的吗 -行吧
- Are you a Communist? - I'm fine.
好了 我们走了 去拿几杯
Alright, here we go. Are you ready? We've got some orders.
-去去就回 -我去了
- Dial it back, babe. - Alright, here we go.
不...
It's not...
-不好意思 这是我老公的位子 -好
- I'm sorry. My husband is sitting there. - Okay.
奇怪了 他们说我们坐这桌
It's so funny. They told us to sit here.
不好意思
No, I'm sorry.
准备上酒
Time to get served up.
准备上酒 哟
Time to get served up. What?
准备上酒
Time to get served up.
-你好啊 -你好
- How's it going? - Good. How are you?
我真的很高兴见到你
I'm great. I'm so glad you're here, honestly.
珍呢
Where's Jen?
她来不了
She couldn't make it
毕竟我跟她已经离婚了
on account of the fact that we are divorced now.
天啊 抱歉
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
没事 不必担心
It's okay. Don't worry about it.
她本来想来参加婚礼的
She wanted to come to this wedding
我拼死拼活不同意她来
and I fought to take custody of it
因为我希望你在 我想见你
because I was hoping you would be here. I want to see you.
-你在逗我吧 -绝对没有
- You're kidding! - No, not kidding at all.
-很高兴见到你 -我也很高兴你来了
- I'm so happy to see you! - I'm so glad you're here.
我开车来的时候就在想
As I was driving here, I was thinking,
"萨姆今晚绝对会美艳动人"
"I bet Sam will look gorgeous."
-要是我说多了请原谅 我喜欢听
- Sorry if I keep saying that. - No, I love it.
-你一人拿两杯 -谢谢
- You're double fisting? - Thank you so much.
-我们走吧 -你太好了
- There you go, okay? - You're so kind.
你不是要帮我一起拿喝的吗
Supposed to help me with the drinks.
-燥起来 -好
- Hello, fun table! - Alright!
其他人呢
Where is everybody?
你好 其他人呢
Hey. Hi. Well, where is everybody?
丽萨呢 好吧 算了
Where's Lisa. Okay, well, never mind.
你们老大归来了 给你们带喝的了
Your captain is back and he's here with shots!
-豪伊·韦克斯勒 -很高兴见到你
- Howie Wexler. - Hey, nice to meet you, buddy!
-我老婆安卡 -你好 我是逗趣伊桑
- My wife, Anka. - Anka, Fun Ethan. Nice to meet you.
敬逗趣的一桌
To the fun table!
-敬逗趣的一桌 -敬逗趣的一桌
- Fun table! - Fun table!
-一口闷 -我的天
- Bottoms up! - Oh, my God!
-这里面是啥 -杜松子酒 杜松子酒
- What's in this? - It's gin. It's gin.
-纯杜松子酒 -他们只有杜松子酒
- Straight gin. - Gin is all they had.
-我们在澳洲不这样干 -我们在这儿也不
- Wow, we don't do this in Australia. - We don't do this here.
糟糕透了
Yeah, it sucked.
现在他们要像《霹雳娇娃》那样
Okay, now they're gonna do Charlie's Angels.
你来自未来世界吗
Are you from, like, one minute in the future?
我感觉很糟糕
I feel bad.
我支持女性
I support women.
我们要比以往更加团结
We need to band together now more than ever.
看起来你很想
It just seems like you're very intent on
把这场婚礼搞砸
ripping this wedding a new asshole.
里奇对他妻子不忠
Rich cheated on his wife.
-所以呢 -所以
- So? - So?
他恨她 她也恨他
He hated her. She hated him.
当时很悲催 他们一直争吵
It was a miserable situation. They just fought.
那就先离婚再和别人瞎搞
Well, then, get divorced and then sleep with someone else.
这根本不是婚礼 这是庆祝偷腥
I mean, this isn't a wedding, this is a celebration of cheating.
我不知道 我觉得男人
I don't know. I think guys
都是为了能偷腥才会结婚
get married specifically so that they can cheat.
-什么 -就是这样
- What? - Yeah.
我觉得那能让他们更兴奋
I think then, you know, it makes it more exciting.
那样不会感觉沉闷无聊
It's, like, less... dull and lame.
那样的性生活更刺♥激♥
The sex is spicier.
-那是我听过最蠢的事了 -谢谢
- That is the dumbest thing I've heard. - Thanks.
-从你那儿听到的 -谢谢
- From you. - Thank you.
所以你们都是在波士顿
So, did you all go to school
上学的吗
in Boston?
是的 我们都是的
Yes, we did.
我们也是
Well, we did, as well.
安卡和我在这个地区
Anka and I plan number of events