大学同学（2017）

-做得好 -现在我能再喝点儿红牛了吗
- Nice job. - Can I have more Red Bull now?
当然啦
You bet.
非常感谢你能来
Thank you so much for coming.
你好
Hello!
-我老了 -欢迎加入四零俱乐部
- I'm old. - Welcome to the club.
我这儿有你的入会文件
I've got your membership papers right here.
-你很漂亮 -谢谢
- You look great. - Thank you.
欢迎来到我们的狂欢派对 很高兴见到你
Hi, welcome to our shindig. Good to see you.
谢谢邀请我们
Thanks for having us.
疯了 我以为要让大家穿好点
This is crazy. I thought it was dress to impress.
还有什么能算好 这就是啊 无尾礼服
What else is impress? This is impress, a tuxedo.
-你这就是周二便服 -什么
-This is just... Tuesday. - What?
看 丽莎来了
Oh, look, there's Lisa.
我的天啊 你脚腕怎么了
Oh, my God. What happened to your ankle?
我扭伤了
I sprained it.
你挂彩了
You got some color.
有很多
There was a lot of...
出什么事了 你需要帮忙吗
What happened? Do you need a little help?
别担心上了年纪的我 生日快乐
Don't worry about little old me. Happy birthday.
-谢谢 谢谢 -这真是太棒了
- Thank you! Thank you. - Wow, this is fab.
我能借用一下你的洗手间吗
Can I use your restroom
就洗洗脸 稍微清理一下
Just to wash my face and just kind of clean up?
-我觉得很恶心 -当然能了 在这边
- I feel disgusting. - Yeah. Of course. Right down here.
我带她去
I'll take her.
我没打算穿成这样来参加你的四十岁生日会
This is not what I thought I was going to wear to your 40th
但我就要穿成这样参加你的四十岁生日会了
but this is what I'm going to be wearing to your 40th. So...
你看起来很美
You look wonderful.
就在那边
It's just... in there.
擦手巾在下边
Hand towel's on the bottom.
好的
Yeah. Okay.
给我点儿时间 我想跟我老婆谈谈
Just give me a minute. I'd just love to talk to my wife.
我一周没见她了
I haven't seen her in a week.
-你打算怎么办 -我打算在她问起之前
- What's your plan? - My plan is to tell her about us
告诉她我们俩的事 好吗
before she brings it up first, okay?
你看见她刚才怎么跟我打招呼了吗
Did you see how she just greeted me?
-她肯定知道了 -她不知道
- She definitely knows. - She doesn't know.
-她知道了 -你这打算真是疯了
- She knows. - That is an insane plan.
我需要跟你谈谈
I need to talk to you.
要不这样 我们去拿杯酒 再聊聊
You know what? Let's go get a drink. We can talk.
-好啊 -好的
-Yeah. - Okay.
-去你♥妈♥的♥ -去你♥妈♥的♥
- Fuck you. - Fuck you!
开曼群岛没有卖♥♥防晒霜的吗
Wow. Don't they sell sunblock in the Caymans?
听着 我还没来得及跟伊桑谈呢
Look, I haven't had a second to talk to Ethan yet. Okay?
-所以就 -我也没有 抱歉
- So just... - Me, neither. I'm so sorry.
我一直想
I've been wanting to...
一直想要当面告诉他一切的
I've been wanting to tell him everything to his face.
住嘴 这不好笑 好吗
Stop it, this isn't funny, okay?
我得等我们走之后才能跟他说
I'm not gonna be able to talk to him until we leave.
告诉你一声 你要举止得当
So let that inform your behavior.
好的
Fine. Yeah.
丽莎 我想给你介绍一下我的未婚妻达思翠
Lisa, I want to introduce you to my fiance, Dustry.
我们订婚了 要结婚了
Yeah, we're engaged to be married.
丽莎 快看
Lisa, look.
-丽莎 快看 -很漂亮
- Lisa, look. - It is beautiful.
-丽莎 快看 -我看见了 很好看
- Lisa, look. - I see, yeah. It's really lovely.
我到现在还是不敢相信 就像是
I, like, still can't even believe it. It's like...
就像
Like...
我的天啊 这位是谁
Holy moly. Who is this?
那是什么
What is that?
这是我的未婚妻 达思翠
This is my fiance, Dustry.
我们订婚了 要结婚了
We're engaged to be married.
-恭喜啊 -我就像
- Well, congratulations. - I know, I was like...
就这样
Just like...
-像这样 -我也是
- Like... - Yeah, I was, too.
-熊仔 你太可爱了 -你可爱 虫仔
- Bear, you're so cute! - You're cute, Bug.
我想让你看看那边那些花
I want to show you these bouquets back there.
为什么
What for?
为我们的婚礼做准备
For our wedding.
对啊
Oh, yeah.
-他们俩什么情况 -我不知道
- What is going on with those two? - I have no idea.
开曼群岛怎么样
How were the Caymans?
很糟糕
Terrible.
是啊
Yeah.
你说得对 她知道了
You're right. She knows.
女士们先生们 拿上你们的外套到外面
Ladies and gentlemen, grab your coats and come on outside
欣赏特别演出
for a special presentation.
你们都知道 我的妻子 萨曼莎
As you all know, my wife, Samantha,
喜欢惊喜
loves a good surprise.
不是吧 你做了什么
Oh, no. What have you done?
这也就是为什么你的朋友们和我
Which is why your friends and I
组织了一场十分特别的
have organized a very special...
惊喜之夜
Night of surprises!
我有帮忙做这个牌子
I helped with the sign!
惊喜之夜
很漂亮 我很喜欢
It's beautiful, I love it.
这是我的第一份惊喜
For my first surprise,
别担心 亲爱的 因为我准备了好几个
and don't worry, honey, because I've got a few,
让我向大家介绍尼尔斯·迈克逊
let me introduce Nils Michelson.
大家都过来 集中到这里
Come over here, everybody, gather round over here.
就在这儿
Right over here.
谁能告诉我
Can anyone tell me
世界上最危险的武器是什么
what the most dangerous weapon in the world is?
-机关枪 -两台机关枪
- Machine gun? - Two machine guns?
-不对 -核武器
- No. - Nuclear weapons.
-真厉害 -炸♥弹♥
- That's good. - Bomb.
-是弓箭 -他说的不对
- It's a bow and arrow. - He's not right.
不对 核武器肯定
That's not right. A nuclear weapon would...
现在我们都知道了 是弓箭
Now we all know it's bow and arrow,
表演要开始了
let's start the show.
看看啊
Wow, look at that!
我的下一份惊喜 让我们移步餐厅
Alright, for my next surprise, let's all go into the dining room.
-到我们了 我们得走了 -付我钱啊
- That's us. We gotta go! - I need to get paid.
-好友团 上啊 -好友团
- Friend group, let's go. - Friend group.
我们从头再过一遍台词吧
So let's just run lines one more time from the top.
我不用了 我直接念
I'm good, I'll just read it.
我们说好不照念的
We said no scripts.
我们说要脱稿表演的
We said we're gonna do this off book.
我们真要这样吗
Are we sure we want do this?
当然了
Of course we want to do this!
这可是音乐剧《莫妮卡·莱温斯基》
This is Monica Lewinsky, The Musical, guys.
没错
That's right.
这就是为什么这件外套上有污点
That's why there's a stain on the jacket. We're ready to go.
抱歉
Sorry about that!
这是惊喜之夜的惊喜之一
This is one of the surprises in the Night of Surprises.
我们得去表演 不然今夜又只是平淡无奇
We gotta do it or else it's just a night.
就我的经验而言
In my experience,
一场表演必须要回答两个基本问题
a performance has to answer two fundamental questions.
为什么在这里 为什么是现在
Why here, why now?
没错 而这部剧完全无法回答
Exactly, and this answers none of them.
我觉得玛丽安娜说的没错
I think Marianne's right.
这是很高雅的派对 我觉得这可能有些失礼
This is a very elegant party. I think it could be disrespectful.
-同意 -我觉得
- Agreed. - I think it's gonna be
看这场音乐剧的人都会很开心
a lot of fun for everybody involved in watching the musical.
我不想办扮演琳达·特里普了 我总是演她
I don't want to play Linda Tripp. I always play Linda Tripp.
我从来没机会扮演好角色
I never get to play the good characters.
来吧 这部剧没那么烂
Come on, the play is not terrible.
我们是为了萨姆演的 很贴心
We're doing this for Sam. It's sweet.
-这部剧很棒 -没错
- The play's really good. - Yes!
可是这似乎毫不相关 又让人心情不好
It seems irrelevant and depressing,
毕竟结局并不好
given the way things turned out.
我认为这是个让人们