大学同学（2017）

and interrupt your evening.
-没事 -我前三本书都是自己独♥立♥完成的
- Of course. - My first 3 books, I just wrote it by myself.
每天写12个小时
Everyday, 12 hours a day.
非常顺利
It was amazing.
但这次我觉得我得跟别人合作
With this one I feel I have to be with other people.
我得与别人建立感情
I have to have that camaraderie.
对不起 我没多想
I'm so sorry. It just happened.
面条掉下来了
There have been noodles falling.
你介意去饭桌上吃吗
Would you be more comfortable at a table?
我不知道 吸血鬼德古拉怎么样
I don't know. Dracula.
很好 写下来
Great. Write it down.
然后性感的东西...
And then sexy things are...
-乳♥房♥♥吗 -乳♥房♥♥ 好 德古拉的乳♥房♥♥
- Boobs? - Boobs. Yeah! Dracula boobs.
乳♥房♥♥ 德古拉的乳♥房♥♥ 好了 搞定
Boobs. Dracula boobs. Right, gotcha.
继续列举素材 把白板填满
We're going to keep listing stuff and fill the board.
我跟你说 这就像回到了从前
I have to tell you, this is just like the old days.
-是吗 -像上大学的时候
- Right? - This is like college.
菲利克斯 我有跟你说过
Felix, did I ever tell you that
这家伙出名之前我俩曾经一起写东西吗
we used to write together until this guy got famous?
-就这家伙 -你说过了
- This guy! - You did!
我提到过我们写的一个音乐剧吗
Did I tell you about the musical we wrote?
-没错 -《莫妮卡·莱温斯基音乐剧》
- Yes! - Monica Lewinsky, The Musical.
-我的天 -是的
- My God. -Yes.
每一份学生期刊都评价极高 掀起浪潮
Every student periodical went nuts for us. Raves.
你认为这现在还能红吗 现在又流行了
Do you think it still holds up? It's topical again.
-可能不能 -真的吗 二 三
- Holds up? Probably not. - Really? Two, three.
*她的裙摆沾了污渍*
*There's a spot on her dress*
*我惹出了大乱子*
*I made a huge mess*
*但我无法向她忏悔*
*But I can't confess*
*否则我会受到弹劾*
*Or I'll be impeached*
*你对性事撒了谎*
*Yeah, you lied about sex*
*我们从未上过床*
*We never had sex*
*但你给对方吹♥箫♥*
*No, but you had oral sex*
*这依然不算性♥交♥*
*That still isn't sex!*
*什么 你扒了她的裙子 狗崽子*
*What? You came on her dress, dog!*
*我们没有卫生纸*
*We had no Kleenex!*
*但这依然不算性事*
*But it still isn't sex!*
*对不起 肯尼思·斯塔尔*
*Sorry, Kenneth Starr*
*竹篮打水一场空*
*Close, but no cigar!*
*弹劾*
*Impeached*
*弹劾*
*Impeached*
*弹劾 裙子*
*Impeached, the dress*
*弹劾 雪茄*
*Impeached, cigar*
*弹劾 电♥话♥*
*Impeached, phone call*
-你俩真的很享受大学时光 -是的
- You guys really liked college. - We did.
-没错 -两个青少年能做成这样很棒了
- Yes, we did. - That is not bad for a couple of teenagers.
而且说唱元素用的比《汉密尔顿》还早
And that rap stuff, pre-Hamilton.
-比《汉密尔顿》早 -比他早
- Pre-Hamilton. - Pre-Hamilton
肯定有人把这剧告诉了林漫威I bet someone told Lin-Manuel Miranda about that.
林·曼努尔·米兰达 《汉密尔顿》剧作家
-他听到后拿去借用了 -麦克斯
- He must have heard about what we did and then borrowed it. -Max.
麦克斯 他比我们年轻太多了
Maxie. Much younger than us.
年轻很多吗
Much younger?
-真的吗 -他不知道我们
- Really? - He does not know.
好了 我得去睡觉了
Alright, well, I've got to go to bed.
我早上有个手术
I've got surgery in the morning. So...
很高兴见到你 祝你好运
Good to see you. Good luck.
我也很高兴见到你 也祝你好运 谢谢你
Good to see you. Good luck, sir. Thank you.
好的
Alright.
晚安 菲利克斯 谢谢 做个好梦
Good night, Felix. Thank you buddy. Have a good one.
-谢谢 祝好运 -随时效劳
- Thank you. Good luck. - Any time.
-晚安 -玩这个怎么样
- Bye. Good night. - What about this?
-你拿这个做什么 -过了你得分
- What are you doing with that? - I'm about to score on you.
等等 在这里吗
Wait, in here?
这是...
What's...
-这才是防守 -防得漂亮
- That's what we call defense! - Nice defense.
-早上7点 -你说什么
- 7 A.M. - Pardon me?
我早上7点的手术
I have surgery at 7:00 A.M.
天呐 抱歉
God, I'm sorry.
-没关系 我还没睡 -你人真好
- It's alright, I'm not sleeping yet. - That's sweet of you.
但是...我要睡了
But... I'm on my way.
好的 我们会小点声
Okay. We will keep it down.
-玩得开心 -谢谢
- Have fun. - Thank you so much
我们绝对会小点声的 谢谢
but we will definitely keep it down. Thank you.
谢谢 我为什么要鞠躬
Thank you. Why did I bow?
这代表着尊重
It's a sign of respect.
他肯定领会到了
I'm sure he appreciated it.
没错 再来一轮你们这儿最贵的酒
Yes. Another round of your most expensive liquor.
-谁想要鱼子酱 -我
- And who wants caviar? - I do.
棒
Yes!
-几位女士是住酒店吗 -我们来出差
- So, are you ladies guests of the hotel? - We're here on business.
出什么差
What kind of business?
-我是个模特 -是吗
- I am model. -Is that right?
跟我们讲讲吧
Tell us a little bit about that.
跟我们详细讲讲你的生活和你的国家
Tell us everything about your life and your country.
好的 我会的 我...
Yes, I will do. I...
我是个模特 也是个歌♥手
I am model. And I am also singer.
我们是... 歌♥手模特
We're... singer models.
歌♥手模特 对
Singer models. Yes.
如果你的歌♥喉跟你的外表一样美的话
Well, if your voices are as beautiful as your figures,
我们得有大♥麻♥烦了
then we're in a lot of trouble!
能给我一百块吗
Can I have $100?
当然可以
Sure!
一百
100?
给你两张五十可以吗
Is two... two 50s alright?
谢谢 你们真绅士
Thank you! These are wonderful men.
美国人 美国万岁
The Americans! America!
-点子之球 -没错
- Idea ball. - Yes!
-开始头脑风暴 -恶魔天使
- Let's just let it flow. - Evil angel.
可以 更性感点更好 再性感点
Okay. Maybe a little sexier, a little sexier.
好吧 虫子怎么样
Okay, like, worm?
我还没见过长虫子的东西 什么样的虫子
Okay. I've not seen stuff with worms. What kind of worm?
一个能把你内脏吸出来的巨大虫子
A giant worm that sucks your guts out.
-那有什么性感的 -因为它渗透到你体内
- What's sexy about that? - Because it penetrates your body.
那不是性感 那是恶心
That's not sexy. That's gross.
那跟绦虫似的 你又不能睡绦虫
That's like a tapeworm. You can't fuck a tapeworm.
好吧 跳脱衣舞的齐本德尔
Okay, Chippendale stripper.
那有什么可怕的
Okay. What's scary about that?
他的银行账户 他的人生选择
His bank account, his life choices.
你看过《魔力迈克》吗
Have you seen Magic Mike?
我们得看看《魔力迈克》的预告片
We have to watch the Magic Mike trailer.
伊桑 我们要集中注意力
Ethan, we got stay focused.
我们现在漫天跑题
We're going all over the place.
可是她既想要浴缸时刻又想要可怕的怪兽
It's just that she wants bathtub moments and scary monsters,
这两种理念相互冲突了
the two ideas seem to be fighting each other.
你就选个怪兽
You just take a monster,
随便一个怪兽 让女孩想跟它啪啪啪
any monster, make a girl want to fuck it.
但是怪兽跟性感根本搭不上边
But monsters by definition are not sexy.
不仅丑到爆 还死不了 还想杀了你
Their faces are fucked up, they don't die and want to kill you.
你难道能对着这种东西打飞机吗
How do you jack off to that?
麦克斯 我觉得我写不出来
Max, I don't think I can do this, man.
-我觉得我不适合写 -你适合
- I don't think I'm the guy. - You are the guy.
我们只是需要做一些市场调研
We just need some market research.
我们得找一个青少年女孩然后跟她谈谈
We need to find a teenage girl and talk to her.
我们一起 就今晚
Me and you, tonight.
但这事不能搞得很奇怪 怎么才能不奇怪
But it can't be weird. How do we make that not weird?
尼克 我们叫上尼克 他女朋友是青少年
Nick. Let's call Nick. He dates teenagers.
不 我才不会跟科学怪人瞎搞
No, I wouldn't fuck Frankenstein.
如果他是所有性感的集♥合♥体呢
What if he's a hodgepodge of sexy parts?
-有点赫姆斯沃思 查宁·塔图姆 -好
- A bit of Hemsworth, Channing Tatum... - Yeah.
均为美国男明星
要是查宁·塔图姆的话我会的
I mean Channing Tatum I would fuck.