大学同学（2017）

Fun Ethan was abandoned by his friends
只能跟豪伊和安卡尬聊
and stranded with Howie and Anka and Fun Ethan
还要看你对着前男友大献殷勤
had to watch you throw yourself at your ex-boyfriend all night.
够了
Jesus Christ.
如果你想让我吃醋
I'm sorry, if you wanted to make me jealous,
你做到了 我吃醋了
you did it. I'm jealous, okay?
你吃醋 明明就是你甩的我
You're jealous? You have a fucked-up way of showing it!
什么意思
What do you mean?
你没来宾馆 你这个渣男
You never showed up at the hotel. It was such a dick move.
尤其是你在葡萄园哭着跟我说
Especially after your whole "I really need you right now" sob story
"我真的需要你"之后
you gave me at the vineyard.
就因为这些吗
Is that what this is all about?
我被丽萨和她的试管婴儿烦着了
It was crazy with Lisa and the IVF.
-你也知道的 -你可以发短♥信♥给我啊
- You knew that. - You could have texted me.
你发短♥信♥说你去不了了啊
You texted and said you weren't going!
别说了 是你没来
Don't lie! You weren't coming.
随便了
Whatever.
我来是想玩得开心
I came here to have a good time
而不是傻坐在那
and not to sit there and
看你夸那条流氓派对狗医生
watch you just fawn over Dr. Horn Dog Party Dog.
你就没想过我吗 我也一直在看你和丽萨
How do you think I feel? I watch you and Lisa all the time.
我又没为了激怒你和她调情
I'm not flirting with her to rile you up!
算了 和你老婆跳舞去吧
Just forget about me and go dance with your wife.
我想和你跳舞
I wanna dance with you!
你以为现在是七年级吗
What are we, in seventh grade?
我喝了你调的琴酒
I acquired a taste for those gin shots of yours.
是吗 喜欢就好
Did you? I'm glad you liked them.
我们的联♥系♥方式校友录有
We are in the alumni directory.
有机会我们四个一块儿约顿晚饭吧
Maybe the four of us can get dinner at the club some time.
这主意不错
That's a great idea, bub.
-我们不... -你在外面干什么
- We're not... Hey! - What are you doing out here?
-她才是你老婆 -对 她是我老婆
- She's your wife? - Yes, she is my wife.
对 她是我老婆
She is my wife, yes.
伊桑 不管哪个是你老婆 一起约饭吧
Well, Ethan, whichever one's your wife, she should join us.
她才是我老婆 我老婆
This is definitely my wife. Definitely my wife.
-晚安 -各位晚安
- Good night. - Good night, all.
各位晚安 谢谢
Alright, good night, you guys, thank you.
他们喝得真够醉了啊
Boy, they were drunk.
都已经稀里糊涂了
Really into Harvard.
你们要喝点什么吗
Does anyone want a drink?
不用了 谢谢
No, no, thanks.
-我不了 -好吧 里面见
-I'm good. -Okay. See you inside.
怎么回事 发生什么事了
Erm... What was... What was that? What's going on?
没事 没事
Nothing...nothing.
萨曼莎想...
Samantha wanted to...
想跟我谈谈...
wanted to talk to me about...
关于她...关于她前男友的事
about her... about her ex-boyfriend.
但你们看起来像在争吵什么的
It looked like you were having an argument or something.
没有 我们没有吵架
No, we weren't having an argument.
她想听听男人在特殊问题上的意见
She wanted to hear a male perspective on a particular issue.
-什么问题 -小事一桩 没什么好说的
-Yeah, which issue? -It's really not even worth mentioning.
很无聊的问题 进去吧
It's stupid. Let's get inside.
你想跟逗趣伊桑跳摇滚舞吗
You want to cut a rug with Fun Ethan?
我先把烟抽完
I'm gonna finish this.
-你要再次变成烟民吗 -不是
-Are you becoming a smoker again? -No.
你耳边还有一支烟等着你
It's just you have another cigarette ready and waiting in your ear.
我都把它忘了
I forgot about that one.
-好吧 那我们等下里面见 -好
-Alright, so I'll see you in there. -Yeah.
对吧
Right?
今晚好玩吗
How's your night going?
不怎么样 婚礼都搞砸了
Oh, it's not great. This wedding blows.
是吗
Really?
好吧 他们没怎么放黑眼豆豆
Alright, they haven't played enough Black Eyed Peas,
这是我唯一想吐槽的地方
but that's my only complaint.
你的派对狗发言真够差的
Your Party Dog gave a terrible speech.
你在说保尔的祝酒词吗 我觉得挺好的
You mean the toast Paul did? I thought that was sweet.
我都不知道了 我意思是
I don't know. I mean,
可能这狗搞错方向了
maybe the dog was barking up the wrong tree.
我估计他意图是好的
Yeah, I guess it was sweet
逼迫大家祝福这对牺牲别人来成全自己
in the sense that it forced us all to celebrate two people
才得以喜结连理的新人
who got what they wanted at someone else's expense.
可能里奇的第一任妻子并非其真命天女
Well, maybe Rich married the wrong person the first time around.
这是常事
It happens.
我是乔恩的第二任妻子 记得吗
I'm Jon's second wife, remember?
我记得
I do, yeah.
人生短暂
Look, life is short.
你要努力争取自己想要的
You gotta go for what you want
不然你就要在后悔中度过余生
or you're gonna end up regretting it.
尽管有时你要伤害到某些人
Even if it means that you hurt some people.
那你的意思是 我应该要为里奇感到开心
So you're saying that I should be happy for Rich
因为他出轨时努力争取了 是吗
because he went for it when he cheated on his wife?
里奇都四十岁了
Rich is 40,
上天庇佑
and God bless him,
现在他能跟一个他爱的人共度余生
now he can spend the second half of his life with a chick
而不是与一个跟他有隔阂的人
he's crazy about instead of someone he grew apart from.
你支持里奇那边 说得确实有道理
It makes sense that you'd take Rich's side.
我没有支持哪一边
I'm not taking sides.
我只是想说事情不是非黑即白的
I'm just saying it's not always black and white.
你现在是要给我说教吗
Are you seriously giving me a fucking lecture right now?
我倒感觉是你在给我说教
It felt like you just gave me one.
知道吗 关于婚礼这事
You know, the thing about weddings is that
如果你无心于此 这里就如同地狱一般
if you're not in the mood, they're the worst place in the world.
我要去趟洗手间
I have to go to the bathroom.
-我会想你的 -我也是
-I'll miss you. -Miss you, too.
你们知道这婚礼有多棒吗
Can you guys believe how good this wedding was?
我不是说过一切都会顺利的吗
Didn't I say it would all work out?
到我结婚的时候 我也要把婚礼办成这样
When I get married, I want it to be exactly like this,
邀请所有的老友记
just surrounded by all my old friends.
-你想结婚吗 -对的
-You wanna get married? -Yeah.
我意思是 我不知道玛丽安娜是不是这样想
I mean, I don't know if Marianne shares that view,
但...我很想结婚
but...I'd like to.
重要的是你们能让对方开心幸福
Well, the important thing is that you guys make each other happy.
-婚姻只是一个标签 -是吗
-Marriage is just a label. - Is it?
我觉得婚姻远不只是一个标签
You see, I think that it's more than that.
你知道吗 塔杰 人生短暂
You know, Tag, life is short.
你要努力争取自己想要的 不然你会后悔的
You should go for what you want or you're gonna regret it.
她说得对
She's right.
结婚是我遇到的最幸福的事
Marriage is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
天啊 好可怕
God.This is terrifying.
我要行动了 我要求婚
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna propose.
她回来了
There she is.
什么也不要说了
Don't say anything.
宝贝
Hey, baby.
敬里奇和艾希莉
To Rich and Ashley.
-敬里奇和艾希莉 -敬里奇和艾希莉
-To Rich and Ashley. -To Rich and Ashley.
发生什么事了
What happened?
那痛苦的事是什么
What was the traumatic thing that happened?
我才不告诉你
You'll never know.
然后我就开了伴娘们的玩笑
And then I made this joke about the bridesmaids
我还怕冷场
that was a little risky
结果全场轰动
but it just brought the house down.
非常成功 我做得很好
It just killed. I killed it.
我就这样搞定了
I just killed it.
我很想你 菲利克斯
I just miss you, Felix.
很抱歉 打扰了
Sorry. I'm sorry.
看看这个
Hey, look at this.
我估计要拿它去干洗了
I should probably take this to the dry cleaner.
结婚 不可能 塔杰 你在想什么
Marry? No! Tag, what were you thinking?
我也不知道
I don't even know.
跟你的朋友聊着聊着就想结婚了
Your friends, they kind of talked me into it.
我只是...丽莎跟我说了一番话