随性（2016）

Oh, my God! That's such a lie that you tell yourself.
你跟她说你同意要小孩
You told her that you agreed to have a child.
不我说的是 我不会 我说的是也许
No, I said, I wouldn't- - I said maybe.
-我的天 -但我觉得
- Oh, my God. - But I think the- -
但你知道她想要 你知道
But you knew that she wanted to and you knew- -
我以为我能让她打消这念头
I thought I could talk her out of it.
你们做♥爱♥不采取保护措施
You guys were having unprotected sex.
嗯 但我总是不用的
Yeah, but I always do.
戴套感觉不爽
It doesn't feel good with the thing on.
你17岁吗
Are you 17?
不 但是戴套就是不爽
No. But it doesn't feel good with it.
花♥花♥公♥子♥俱乐部酒店
我是凯伦·特雷斯卡
Hey, it's Karen Treska.
哔声后可留言 谢谢
You can leave a message after the beep. Thanks.
我不是有意想打搅你生活的 让你出其不意的
I did not mean to interrupt your life, to surprise you like that.
我很抱歉 我可以解释
I'm sorry. I can explain it.
我可以解释 但我现在不想解释
I can explain it, but I don't wanna do that right now.
我只想道歉 对不起
I just wanna apologize. I'm sorry.
我也不知道 我不
I don't know. I'm not- -
我一直在忙这个
I've been working on this, you know...
这本书的再版
this reissue of the book
我有在翻阅所有这些东西
and I've been going through all this stuff.
有好多好多 凯伦 真的好多
There's so much stuff. Karen, there's so much stuff.
碎南瓜乐队 芝加哥小熊队
Smashing Pumpkins, the Cubs.
我根本不喜欢棒球 但我们还是去看了那些比赛
I don't even like baseball. We went to those games.
很高兴见到你 真的很高兴 就算
It was nice to see you. It was just nice to see you. Even...
就在我走进去时 在局面恶化前
Like, right when I walked in, before it turned to garbage.
有那么一刻 有那么一刻
There was a moment. There was a moment right then...
我们看到对方的时候 我看到了你
when we saw each other, and I saw you.
我们能去吃晚餐吗
Can we just have dinner...
像两个曾经结婚
like two middle- aged people
深爱对方的中年人
that used to be married and loved each other.
请回复我
Let me know.
再见
Okay, bye.
《夫妇生活》
杰克布·马尔科
凯伦
是的 我可以和你吃晚餐
-你好吗 -很好 你呢
- How are you? - Good. How are you?
还行
Okay.
我想我需要作为一个成人和你一起看一些东西
I think I need to go over some stuff with you as a grownup here.
担当起一些责任
And take responsibility for some stuff
试图让你同情我
and try to make you feel sorry for me.
-好 -好吗
- Okay. - Okay?
-你接受吗 -嗯 当然
- Are you in? - Right. Sure.
你知道我为什么感到内疚吗
You know what I feel bad about?
当时发生的一切
You know, all that shit was goin' on,
我走上人生巅峰 去了洛杉矶
and I was getting successful and I was going to LA
然后那件事开始 你知道的
and that thing started with- - You know...
-我妈妈吗 -不 梅兰尼
- My mom? - No, with Melanie.
-那件事开始 -那个啊 你的外遇
- The thing started- - - Oh. Sorry, your affair.
嗯 我就想说这个
Right, that's what I was gonna say,
你当时得处理你妈妈的事
is that you were going through that thing with your mom.
-而我 -你可以说出来
- And I just- - - You can say it.
她快死了
She was dying.
但我挤不出时间去看她
And I just couldn't make time to be there for that?
是的
No.
我很抱歉
I mean, l- - Yeah, I'm sorry.
好
Okay.
谢谢你这么说
Thank you for saying that.
变老以及从那些破事中
There's gotta be some benefit
挺过来 总还是有好处的
to getting old and surviving that shit.
我不指望你原谅我 但我
And I'm not expecting you to let me off the hook, but I- -
我那时没法感觉到 我不知道为什么
I wasn't able to feel it then. I don't know why.
-搞砸 但我现在感觉到了 -嗯
- Fucked up, but I feel it now. - Yeah.
我觉得从某种奇怪角度看 从我的看管人角度看
I mean, I think in some weird way, in my caretaker- y way,
我感觉我被派到地球上
where I sort of felt like I was put on the Earth
是来确保你永远不用有任何感受
to make sure you never had to feel anything,
太不自在或者
um, too uncomfortable or...
无法忍♥受 我
unbearable, that I...
可能
probably...
让你觉得你一无是处
didn't let you feel like there were things you could do.
当然并不是你就知道该做什么
Not that you would've necessarily known what to do.
-嗯 -但是
- Right. - But...
但我不需要去
But I didn't need to go...
-搞外遇 -嗯
- Have an affair? - Right.
-然后再把它写成书 -嗯
- And then write a book about it? - Yeah.
然后
And then...
做很多问答
Do a whole bunch of Q and A's.
嗯
Right.
还有很多采访
And a lot of interviews.
-然后娶 -嗯嗯
- And then marry... - Right, right.
-那个人 -嗯嗯
- the person... - Yeah, yeah.
然后
And...
然后找借口
And just justify it.
我太迟钝了 我搞砸了
I was completely insensitive. It was fucked up.
我不知道最后会是那样的结果
And I didn't know that that's the way things would pan out.
你不知道事情最后会那样
But you didn't know things would pan out that way,
这就是重点 我也不知道
and that's the point, is that I didn't either.
所以当你跟我说你对别人有感觉的时候
So when you told me you were having feelings for somebody else,
我以为
I mean, I thought that...
无所谓了
It doesn't matter.
-什么 -我以为我们
- What? - No, I just thought that we- -
我以为你是
I thought it was something
想解决那件事
that you were saying you wanted to work through.
无所
It doesn't...
我说无所谓的时候 其实
When I say it doesn't matter, it really...
听上去像是
Now it sounds like- -
-你说得有理 -真的无所谓
- No, it's fair. - It really doesn't matter.
-但那是 -我不得不对那段感情做出承诺
- But that's what- - - I had to commit to it.
我没想到我们可以
I didn't think there was any way- -
就算我们能解决 你要怎么原谅我
Even if we were to work it out, how would you ever forgive that?
我不想一辈子都在道歉
And I didn't wanna live my whole life to be this apology
然后有小孩 做一个废物
and just, like, end up with kids, this beaten dude who fucked up,
他的生活始终处于那次搞砸的阴影中
and his whole life is now built around that fuck up.
你怎么会不惩罚我
How would you not have punished me for- -
所以你想结束那关系 是因为你不想
So you wanted to end it because you didn't like the narrative
做一个背着老婆偷♥情♥的人吗
of being somebody who cheated on his wife?
我显然喜欢那情节 我为此专门写了书
I obviously liked that narrative. I wrote a book about it.
但我不想做一个已婚男人
But I didn't wanna be the guy who was still married
筋疲力尽
and was just this, like, beaten man
只能永远生活在这个错误的阴影之下
who has to spend his whole life living in this mistake.
我感觉我们没法越过那道坎
I didn't feel like we could have overcome it.
现在如何呢
How's it going?
错误被避免
All right. Mistakes averted.
我同意你 我觉得你这么想是对的
I agree with you, and I think you're right in thinking that,
我没有考虑
that I did not take into consideration
你可能经历什么
what you might've been going through
或者你会有什么感受
or even your feelings or anything else.
这已经到了近乎愚蠢的地步了
No, but it was to such a degree that it's almost feels dumb
这个时候道歉
to apologize for it at this point.
我不知道这是否愚蠢 我用了这么久才意识到
I don't know if it's dumb. It took me this long to recognize it.
嗯 我用了这么久才忘记
Yeah, but it took me this long to forget about it.
我知道
I know.
另外一件事就是
The other thing was just,
我当时在做什么 我当时在做什么
like, what was I doing? What was I doing?
是真的吗 不是真的吗 我不知道
Was it real? Was it not real? I don't know.
我不知道我有没有能力来真的
I don't know if I'm even capable of the real thing.
你觉得我现在可以吗 你觉得我当时可以吗
Do you think I am? Do you think I was?
我 感觉 因为我们
Was I- - Did it feel like- - 'Cause we- -
我都不知道我消化了多少
And I'm not even sure how much I processed.
我想我是忙着想
I think I was just too busy
哪些东西好笑
thinking about what'd make a good comic.