随性（2016）

Okay.
距下次访谈还有十分钟
Um... It looks like we have ten minutes until your next interview.
-嗯 我不知道你想不想
- Yeah. - I don't know if you wanna...
-我能喝罐健怡可乐吗 -可以
- Can I have a Diet Coke? - Yes.
-我要打个盹儿 -关于这个
- And I'm gonna take a little snooze. - On that note...
-小睡一会儿 -我有凯伦的号♥码
- A little nappy. - I have Karen's number.
-我在想 -你刚说什么
- I'm thinking- - - What did you just say?
-你说什么 -我有
- What did you just say? - Okay. I've- -
你怎么说的 "我有凯伦的号♥码"
How did you just present that? "I have Karen's number."
-我是这么想的 -很可爱的语气
- Here's what I'm thinking. - Like in that cute little way, and...
听上去就不像是在胁迫我了
that's not gonna sound like you're coercing me.
我是想自然地
I'm trying to integrate it naturally
放到对话里
into the flow of the conversation.
-我有她的号♥码 -你的意思是
- "I have her number."- What you're saying is,
"我要给凯伦打电♥话♥ 除非你做点什么"
"I'm gonna call Karen unless you do something."
你是我前几天和我说过话的那人吗
Are you the same person I talked to a few days ago,
还是你有个双胞胎 和你一样烦人
or do you have a twin that's equally as irritating?
-我是独生女 -不要凯伦 不可能
- I'm an only child. - No Karen. It's not happening.
好 我只是想帮忙 你大概不想引起
Okay. I'm just trying to help. I guess you don't wanna generate- -
闭嘴 我不能
Shut up. I can't go through
再忍♥受你的行为了
another round of whatever it is you do.
-馊主意 -好吧
- Bad idea. - Okay.
-对我来说是危险信♥号♥♥ -好
- Red flag for me. - Okay.
你看到了危险信♥号♥♥
You're seeing a red flag.
你知道人人咖啡在哪吗
Do you know where Everybody's Coffee is?
-知道 -明天到那见我
- Yes. - Meet me there tomorrow.
我会短♥信♥或者邮件你时间
I'll text you or e- mail you the time.
这太蠢了 但我相信这会向你证明
This is so stupid, but I believe that it will prove to you
为什么这不是个好的局面 我们应该终止
why this is not a good situation, and we'll put an end to it.
-好 -我完全不觉得这是个好主意
- Okay. - I don't think this is a good idea at all.
但我们会去做
But we're gonna do it.
我们会去做 知道为什么吗 因为你赢了
We're gonna do it. You know why? 'Cause you won.
你烦我烦到了
You've annoyed me to the point
让我去做蠢事的地步
where I'm gonna do something stupid.
你会谢谢我的
You're gonna thank me.
-我很开心 谢谢 -能给我罐健怡可乐吗
- I'm excited. Thank you. - Can I have a Diet Coke?
-能给我罐健怡可乐吗 -没问题
- Can I have a Diet Coke? - You have earned it.
-这是进步 -好吧
- This is progress. - All right.
-感觉很好 -打住打住
- This feels really good. - Stop, stop, stop.
-你好 -能给我来一杯咖啡吗
- How's it going? - Can I get a drip?
今天能打包吗
But do you mind putting it in a to- go cup today?
-当然 -谢谢
- Yeah, sure. - Thanks.
凯伦
Karen.
-天啊 -我知道
- Oh, my God. - I know.
-很高兴见到你 -嗯
- It's good to see you. - Yeah.
-这太疯狂了 -这
- This is wild. - That is just...
我知道 我是来买♥♥咖啡的
I know. I was just gonna grab some coffee.
你要走了吗 我之前都不知道有这地方
Are you taking off? I didn't even know this place was here.
你好吗 你怎么样
What's happening? How are you doing?
我 我
Uh... I'm... I'm...
我很好
I'm fine.
-你气色很好 -谢谢
- You look great. - Yeah. Thanks.
太不可思议了 因为我 我
It's so wild, 'cause I've been... I've been in it.
我最近在谈论我们 因为他们要发行
I've been in us lately, 'cause they're coming out with this...
我们的书 《夫妇生活》的纪念版
This anniversary edition of Conjugality. Of our book.
我最近 我也不知道
And I've just been- - I don't know.
有补充一些内容 新的东西
There's supplementary material, some new stuff,
封面变了
the cover's a little different.
-你在这 -有新的东西什么意思
- And there you are. - What do you mean, there's new stuff?
就是些画
Just drawings.
-不 -什么画
- No. - What drawings?
你我的画 那段时间里的
Of you, me... You know, the regular stuff
-普通东西 -新的吗
- from that time. - New ones?
不是新的 那段时期里的
No, they're not new. From then. From then.
我有一大堆东西
I have, uh... folders of stuff.
那些没在书里的
Wait, ones that weren't in the book?
嗯 但是是那段时期的
Right. But from that time.
但它们不是 你干嘛这么生气
But they're not- - Why are you upset already?
-都过去20年了 -我没有生气
- I mean, it was 20 years ago. - I'm not upset.
震惊 令人激动吗
Oh, it's shocking? It's exciting, though.
不 只是
No, it's just, um...
好的
All right, well- -
听着 在你走之前
Well, listen, before you go,
我知道这很疯狂 但既然你在这
I know this is crazy, but while you're here,
你能不能
there's no way that you would
为这本书写点推荐语或者做个采访
maybe write a blurb or do an interview for the book?
你认真的吗
Are you serious right now?
我很认真
Yeah, I'm pretty serious.
-什么情况 -太疯狂了
- The fuck is happening? - It's crazy.
-没错是很疯狂 -抱歉
- This is crazy. - I'm sorry.
-怎么回事 -没什么 我只是
- What is going on? - Nothing. I just- -
就算是一张照片对粉丝也会很有意义
Even a photograph would be so meaningful to fans.
你干嘛说话 你干嘛
Why are you talking? Why are you- -
-我的天 -或者评论一下
- Oh, my God! - Or a comment,
-如果这样你更自在的话 -这太
- if you're more comfortable with that. - This is so- -
你♥他♥妈♥有什么毛病
What is your fucking prob- -
不不 凯伦 听我说
No, no, no. Karen, listen to me.
不不 不是你想的那样
No, no, no. It's not what you think.
我的天 好吧
Oh, my God. Okay.
我就知道会这样
This is exactly what I thought would happen.
滚 滚远点 赶紧消失
You know what? Fuck off! Go away. Get lost.
我就知道会这样
This is exactly what I would think would happen.
不是吧 跟踪我到咖啡店里
Really? You're gonna stalk me in a coffee shop?
-不 我 -你要请我参与其中吗
- No, I just- - - You're gonna ask me to participate?
-你嗑药了吗 -他们想让你做点什么
- Are you high? - They wanted you to do something.
我说你不会答应的 但我还是来问了
I said you wouldn't do it, and I just did it anyways.
很蠢 不过见到你很开心
It was stupid, but it's nice to see you.
你是个坏人
You know what? You are a bad man.
-我是坏人 我有缺点 -没错 你是坏
- I'm bad? I mean, I'm flawed. - You are. You're a bad- -
你是个很坏很坏的人
You know, you're a bad, bad man.
行了行了 能来张自♥拍♥吗
All right. All right! Can we do a selfie?
刚才真的很刺♥激♥
That was really exciting.
等等 我可以 因为我对你好吗
Wait, I could... 'Cause I'd be nice to you?
现在我们是一个整体了
Now we're becoming whole.
这是你内在自我在对你好吗
Is this your inner self being nice to you?
-我们是个整体 看到了吗 -我们该经常这么做
- Now we're whole. See? - Yeah. We should do this more often.
我对你没有性♥欲♥
I'm just not sexually attracted to you.
问题就在此 抱歉
That's the thing. I'm sorry.
你很性感
You're sexually attractive and everything,
但我们没有
but we don't have that...
-我们没有 -我想我欠
- We don't have that... - I think I owe, uh...
我想我欠凯伦
I think I owe Karen some sort of...
我觉得我需要了结
Like, I think that I need closure.
你有没有想过
Do you ever, though,
你们也许可以坚持下去
think that maybe you could've just hung in and...
嗯 但你想
Yeah, but do you want- -
为什么人们觉得婚姻总是得永远有趣呢
Why do people think that marriage has to be fun all the time?
或者永远顺利呢 或许只是在经历一段困难时期
Or great all the time? Maybe it was just in a rough patch.
-我那时心已死 -或许你只是觉得你要死了
- I was dying inside. - Maybe you just felt like you were dying.
困难时期会持续多久
How long do rough patches go on for?
讲真 从我一开始在这坐下
Honest to God, when I first sat down here,
你就觉得你要死了
you felt like you were dying.
我想不起是什么让你心烦
I can't remember what it was that was bothering you now,
你肯定也想不起 我就是这个意思
and I'm sure you can't either. That's what I'm talking about.
或许你们本来婚姻美满
You know, like,perhaps you had a really great thing,
-然后你失去耐心 -是的
- and you got impatient, and... - Yeah, we did...
然后突然 她买♥♥了产前维生素
And all of a sudden, there's prenatal vitamins in the- -
-我不想 -她想要孩子
- I don't wanna- - - She was trying to have a baby.
可我
But I- -
-你跟她说你想要孩子的 -不 我没有
- You told her you wanted to have a baby. - No, I did not.
天啊 你可真会自欺欺人