随性（2016）

-是吗 -嗯 我做这个
- Yeah? - Yeah, I do this,
还有个工作 带游客参观城市
and I got this other job where I give tours of the city.
我是芝加哥的观光导游
I'm a City of Chicago tour guide.
这两份工作抵消了开支
Between those two things, uh, it balances out.
自那以后每年都没有死1000人了
There's not been a thousand deaths in a year since then.
他们像在亚特兰大那样拆除所有住♥宅♥吗
Are they tearing down all the projects like they are in Atlanta?
-已经没了 -没了
- They're gone. - They're gone, right?
没了 已经十年了 只剩三栋了
They're done. It's been a decade. There's, like, three left.
穷♥人♥都哪去了
Where are all the poor people?
穷♥人♥都哪去了
"Where the poor people?"
你本打算说什么 你说"...哪去了"
What were you gonna say? Because you said, "Where are all the..."
然后才说了"穷♥人♥" 你作了修改
and then you said, "Poor people." You adjusted.
-没有没有 -你改了
- That's not true. That's not true. - You adjusted.
-得了吧 亚特兰大 你骗不了我 -好吧
- Come on, Atlanta, you ain't fooling me. - You're right.
我搭你的车很不自在
I'm really uncomfortable in this ride
然后你有车
and the fact that you have a car.
我很意外
I was surprised.
我开玩笑的
No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
我不知道我之前是想给自己证明什么
I don't know what I thought I'd prove to myself,
我能在芝加哥演话剧
that I could do a play in Chicago.
但是最后就像是
But it's ended up being just kind of,
在练习孤独一样
like, a very deep exercise in loneliness.
我不想笑的
I don't mean to laugh.
没事 我现在没在排练了
No, it's okay. I'm sort of outside of rehearsals.
我在公♥寓♥里看电视 打飞机
I'm just kind of in this condo watching TV and jerking off and...
这样行吗
Is that okay?
你身材很好
You have a nice body.
奇妙的装置
Such a contraption.
我真的 太多衣服了
I know. Too much clothes.
你真有力
You're so strong.
我觉得很幸运 我还活着
I feel lucky to be alive now,
因为我这样的体型
because being my size
就是在5年前 7年前也并不好
even five, seven years ago was not cool.
那是挺厌症的时期
It was, like, pro- ano times.
-你说什么 -挺厌症
- What'd you say? - Pro- ano.
挺厌食症
Like pro- anorexia?
我心想"天啊 这很适合我"
And I'm like, "Word. This is working for me."
也很适合我
Yeah, it's working for me.
适合你 我很高兴
It's working for you? Okay. I'm glad.
给你的
It's for you.
打得好
Good spanking.
嘿 多力多滋 这太扯了
"Hey, Doritos! This is some bullshit, man.
我给我六岁孩子买♥♥这些薯片
I get my six- year- old these chips,
现在你们给他喂基佬东西
now y'all stuffing the gay agenda down his throat
他以后会吃屌♥的
and he'll grow up to suck dick."
我说 等等 先生
I was like, "Wait a minute, sir.
零食不是这样的
That's not how snacks work at all."
我和我前任在看科幻小说
I was watching sci- fi with my ex.
他在打扫家里
And he's cleaning up around the house.
捡起了一些我的头发
He picks up some of my hairs.
我从没见过他扔头发
I've never seen this man throw the hairs away.
我说 科幻小说 我要被克隆了
And I'm like, sci- fi. This is the part where I get cloned.
我要被克隆了 对吗
I'm about to get cloned, right?
史上第一个被克隆的黑人女性
First black woman ever cloned.
鉴于当时的情况 多么可疑的荣誉
What a dubious honor, considering the circumstances,
不过我接受
but I'll take it.
然后我说 瑞贝卡 出糗的是他 这是接发
Then I'm like, "Rebecca, joke's on him. This is a weave."
克隆出来的会是马
It's gonna be a motherfucking horse.
胜利 我觉得这算是胜利
Victory. I consider that a victory.
很开心介绍他出场
I'm so happy to bring this guy up.
他是城里最搞笑的人之一
He's one of the funniest in this city.
掌声有请奥迪纳卡·佐克利
So just turn up right now for Odinaka Ezeokoli.
大家好 你们好吗
Yo. What's up? How we doing?
-还好吗 -嗯
- Doing good? - Yeah.
你饿吗 要不我们先去喝点什么再出去
Are you hungry? Maybe we get a drink and then go out.
-好啊 -嗯
- Yeah, that sounds great. - Yeah?
行
Yeah, I'm down.
牛排 你吃牛排吗
Steak, you eat steak?
-你想吃什么我就吃什么 -好
- I eat whatever you want to eat, man. - Okay.
-你们好 -好啊 科尔
- Guys, how you doing? - What's up, Cole?
这位绅士要什么
Whatever the gentleman would like.
-科罗娜黑啤 -好的
- I'll have a Negra Modelo. - Sure. Got it.
尼格龙尼鸡尾酒
Negroni?
-我去调 -谢谢
- I'll make it. - Thanks.
-嘿 -嗨 你好吗
- Hey! - Hi. How are you?
-谢谢你过来 -这太棒了
- Thanks for coming. - Wow! This is kind of amazing.
-你喜欢我门卫吗 -嗯
- You liked my doorman? - Yeah.
-我喜欢你门卫 -景色不错吧
- I loved your doorman. - Good view.
我的天
What?
-很漂亮吧 -你怎么
- It's good, right? - How did you do...
你怎么做到的
How do you do this?
要喝茶吗 我刚煮了点
You want some tea? I just made some.
你在写剧本 然后卖♥♥掉
So you've written screenplays and sold them
收追加酬金
and you're collecting residuals
却不想告诉我
and you just didn't want to tell me?
我倒想呢
Oh, yeah. I wish. Um...
没有
No. So...
钱的情况
Yeah, the money situation, I mean...
我
I...
我一般不跟别人说
I don't usually tell people this,
但我觉得你不会评判人
but I feel like you're non- judgmental
或者你会评判 不过是好的那种
or that you are judgmental, but in the right way.
我是妓♥女♥
But I'm basically a hooker.
-等等 -揭晓
- Wait. Are... - Reveal!
你是
You're a...
这
That's such a...
-消化 -嗯
- Digest. - Yeah.
你有代理机构吗 你是通过代理机构工作的吗
Do you have an agency? Are you working through an agency or...
-不是 我自己干 -好的
- No. I'm independent. - Okay.
钱全部归我
I make all the money myself.
我在一个代理机构干了几个月
I worked at an agency for a couple of months,
我觉得太扯了
and I was like, "This is crazy."
-因为他们会分走一半的钱 -嗯
- 'Cause they take half of the money. - Yes.
我为什么要给某个变♥态♥钱呢
Yes. So, why am I paying some creepy guy?
那你怎么保证安全
And how are you safe?
你懂我意思吗
You know what I mean?
-你怎么审查人 -审查人
- How do you vet people? - Vet people?
在干这行的女生之间
So, there's an unexpected system of support
有个想不到的支持系统
within the industry of girls.
我不会去见那些
I don't see any people
没有他们见过的人的推荐信的人
who don't have references of other people who they've seen.
-有道理吗 -嗯
- Does that make sense? - Yeah.
如果一个男人想见我 就给我发邮件
If a guy wants to see me, he e- mails me.
我会说
And I'm like,
你有任何你见过女生的推荐信吗
"Do you have any references of other girls you've seen?"
他会发我她们的网站
He would send me their sites
这样我就知道她们是真的
so I can see they're real people.
然后我给她们发邮件问 你见过泰德吗
And then I e- mail them directly and say, "Have you seen Ted?"
她们就会说 嗯 他35 很安全
Then they're like, "Yeah, he's 35 and safe."
-他不是杀人犯 -就这样
- And he's not an ax murderer. - Right. Literally, yeah.
或者说 嗯 不过注意 他很肥
Or they'll be like, "Yes, but beware, he's really overweight."
-泰德的问题是 -对 没错
- "Here's the thing about Ted." - Yes, exactly.
-这样很好 -泰德
- And it's really cool. - Ted.
是的 泰德 人人都认识一个泰德
Yes. Ted. Everyone knows a Ted.
你一边给人口 但同时你也会问
You're blowing people, but you're also being like,
跟我说说你的问题 你离婚是怎么回事
"Tell me about your problems. What's the thing with your divorce?
你的工作好疯狂
That's so- and- so crazy about your job.
股票行情呢
What about the stock market?"
我很了解股票行情
I know so much about the stock market.
你是真心的吗
Do you mean it?