随性（2016）

我觉得如果你能
I find that if you can...
不经常换你的衣服
not change your clothes too often,
夫妇生活
如果你不要小孩
and if you don't clutter your life with, you know, children...
各种年龄的人
a broad swathe of people of all ages,
仍然会被你的生存困境所吸引
you know, will still gravitate to your existential plight.
如果你能保持以自我为中心 让生活状况恶化的话
If you keep it selfish and keep it aggravated...
那就是永恒的
that's timeless.
生活的忠告
Words to live by.
在走之前还有什么想说的吗
Anything you wanna add before we let you go?
有 我希望大家都能去买♥♥书
Yes, I would like everybody to buy the book...
提到你的推特
甚至买♥♥第二本
for a second time, even.
提到你的推特
不
And... No.
谢谢你们的到来 真的
Thank you for coming, seriously.
《夫妇生活》20周年纪念版将在下个月发行
The 20th anniversary edition of Conjugality is out next month,
但你可以在昆比书店预定
but you can pre- order it right here at Quimby's.
支持本地书店
Support your local bookstore.
杰克布 谢谢你
Jacob, thank you so much.
谢谢你 艾莉森 和你聊天很愉快
Thank you, Alison. It's great talking to you.
谢谢
Thank you.
任性芝加哥
第二季第五集
-提到你的推特 -那是我的工作
- "Mention your Twitter!" - That's my job- -
在你客户的活动上举纸簿吗
To hold up pads at an event that your client's doing?
显然那是我唯一能联♥系♥到你的方式
That's the only way I can reach you, apparently.
我只想要发表一段有力的结束语
I'm just trying to, you know, close strong with a nice- -
你都不愿承认社交媒体 太疯狂了
You won't even acknowledge social media. It's insane.
怎么疯狂了 我不想玩
Why is it insane? I don't wanna do it.
-你真的需要 -你好
- You really need- - - What's up?
不知道你是否还记得我
I don't know if you remember me...
我是麦克 去年去过你《晦涩》的读书会
Mike from the Obscurity reading last year.
-你好吗 很开心见到你 -很好 你呢
- Dude. How are you? Good to see you. - Good. How are you?
我很好 那晚很令人激动 对吧
I'm good. That was an exciting night, right?
是的 很疯狂
Yeah. It was crazy.
-很开心见到你 -我也是
- Good to see you. - You too.
-我们希望你能再次光顾 -乐意至极
- We'd love to have you back. - I'd love to.
-谢谢 -好
- Thanks a lot. - Great.
-看到没 这才是实际 -他在推特上有关注你吗
- See, that's a tangible thing- - - Does he follow you on Twitter?
-无所谓 -表示怀疑
- It doesn't matter. - I doubt it.
-你 -你知道
- Did you- - - Do you have any idea- -
那人在另一个书店工作
That guy works at another bookstore
刚给我们提供了一件在现实世界里做的事
that just offered us a thing to do in the real world,
而你却在说"上推特 这是我的纸簿"
and you're like, "Get on Twitter. Here's my pad!"
我觉得我们两个
I don't think that you're literate
会的语言不同
in the language that I'm literate in.
我甚至明白不了你
I don't even understand you.
-我知道 所以 -抱歉
- I know, and that's what- - - Hey. I'm sorry.
我得走了
I gotta go,
-但我真的想 -我也是 我们走吧
- but I just really wanted to- - - Yeah, me too. Let's go.
-再见 劳伦 -嗯
- I'll see you later, Lauren. - Yeah.
-很高兴见到你 走吧 -很高兴认识你
- Good to see you. Just walk. - Nice to meet you.
-天啊 -不可理喻
- Jesus. - Unbelievable.
现如今想要卖♥♥东西 在网络上有存在感
The online presence is absolutely necessary these days
是很有必要的
to sell anything.
跟我又没关系
It's got nothing to do with me.
希望她没有以我的身份发推 那就太讨厌了
I hope she's not tweeting as me. That would make me upset.
-她没有 -我不喜欢这一切
- She's not tweeting as you. - I don't like the whole thing.
她发的是关于项目的推 好吗
She's tweeting about the project. All right?
我打来不是聊社交媒体或者劳伦的
I didn't call to talk about social media or Lauren.
-我打来是想聊凯伦的 -凯伦
- I called to talk about Karen. - Karen?
我知道我们有谈过 但我们没有做决定
I know we spoke about this. We didn't make a decision on it,
但我真觉得凯伦应该接触
but I really think that Karen should be contacted- -
我都八年没跟她说过话了
I haven't even talked to her in eight years.
我八年没跟她说过话了
I haven't talked to her in eight years.
如果你八年没和她说过话
If you haven't talked to her in eight years,
或许她多少有些软化了
she may have softened somewhat.
所以她才总是给我打电♥话♥
That's why she calls me all the time.
不管怎么说 这是关于你们两个的爱情故事
Either way, it's a love story about the two of you,
而现在缺了一半
and it's missing half of the picture.
我知道 她在第二本书里总是这么抱怨
I know, that was always her complaint in the second book.
"怎么里面没有我" "那个女的是谁"
"How come I'm not in this?" And, "Who's that other lady?"
真的 你看了第二本书吗 阿曼达
Yeah, that happened. Did you read the second book, Amanda?
看了
Yes, I read it.
但我们关注的是第一本
But we're focusing on the first one,
所以不需要太多她的东西
so we don't need much from her.
就一篇网上文章 引述都行
Just even an online little article, quote, something.
我现在就给你
I'll give it to you right now.
引述 "杰克布·马尔科是个混♥蛋♥ 他伤害我
Quote, "Jacob Malco is an asshole who hurt me
公开诋毁我 凯伦 他的前妻"
and dragged me through it publicly. Karen, his ex- wife."
可以 我接受
That works. I could live with that.
-不不 -好吗
- No. No. - All right?
我一月的时候就在这
This is where I was in January- -
-芝加哥没有土狼 -有的
- There's no coyotes in Chicago. - There are!
-我跟你说了 一只土狼过来 -你看到的是狗
- I told you, a coyote came- - - You saw a dog.
这有土狼 大家都知道
There's coyotes and everybody knows it.
他们想让我联♥系♥凯伦
Look, they want me to reach out to Karen.
那 我做不到
I mean, that is- - I can't do that.
他们想让我叫她做个新书推荐
They want me to have her do a blurb.
为什么他们要找你
Why would they want you to do that?
或者写篇文章
Or to do an article...
我不能这么对她 我让她经历得够多了 这是其一
I can't do that to her. I put her through enough, number one.
其二 她不可能答应的
Number two, there's no way she would do it.
但我理解他们为什么找你
No, but I understand why they want you to do that.
-嗯 -我懂的 这很尴尬
- Right. - But I get it, that it's awkward.
但问题是 我见了她 我真的见了她
But here's the thing. I saw her. I did see her.
-什么 -我见了她
- What? - I saw her.
我当时刚从卡斯医生的办公室里出来
I was coming out of, um, Dr. Cath's office.
-你见了凯伦 -嗯 在我做完心理咨♥询♥后
- You saw Karen? - Yeah! After my therapy.
我出来 她就在那家咖啡馆
I came out, and she was at that cafe-
你见了多少次凯伦
How many times did you see Karen?
那咖啡馆叫什么来着 你有硬币吗
What's that cafe... Wait, do you have any coins?
-我想 -干什么
- 'Cause I wanna- - - For what?
我要在水池里投个硬币许愿
I'm gonna throw a coin in the fountain and make a wish.
-你五岁吗 -今天天气很好
- Are you five? - It's a pretty day.
我真的 但那不是许愿池
I know, but that's not a wishing well.
-好吧 -就
- All right- - - Just...
我跟她聊天 但并不多 她知道我是你朋友
I talk to her, but not a lot. She knows I'm your friend, so...
但我想说的是我有见她
But my point is I saw her
我有她电♥话♥ 如果你想打给她的话
and I have her number if you wanted to call her.
她在干什么 她什么样
What's she doing? How did she look?
有小孩吗 结婚了吗
Does she have kids? Is she married?
-你在哪看到她的 -抱歉 你生气了
- Where'd you see her? - I'm sorry. You're upset.
-我没生气 你在哪看到她的 -你生气了
- I'm not upset. Where'd you see her? - You're upset.
我没有 你为什么一直这么说
I'm not upset. Why would you keep saying that?
因为你生气了
'Cause you're upset.
-你在哪看到她的 -给我枚硬币 你有吗
- Where'd you see her? - Give me a coin. Do you have coins?
五分镍币
I have a nickel.
-去扔吧 -等等
- Go throw it in. - Wait.
-不 你得 -嘘
- No, you gotta- - - Shh!
许个愿 许个愿 好了吗
Make a wish. Just make a wish. Ready?
没有实现 你扔了
It didn't come true. You threw it.
是的 我很开心这本书的再次发行
Yes, I'm excited about the re- release of the book.
抱歉 今天这问题我回答过很多次了
I'm sorry, I've answered that question a lot today, but- -
丹 我们还有时间再问一个问题
Uh, okay, Dan, I think we have time for one more question.
我问完了
I think that's all I've got.
但我想说我是你的忠实粉丝
But I'll just say that I'm a huge fan,
很荣幸和你交谈
and it's a real pleasure to talk to you.
-谢谢 -好的
- Thanks. Appreciate that. - Great.
谢谢 回聊
Okay, thank you. I'll talk to you soon.
-谢谢 -拜
- Thanks a lot. - Bye.
好了