未来总统日记

这家伙在干什么
What was this guy doing?
加入网球队吧
Join the tennis team!
变身战斗天鹅吧
Become a Fighting Swansby.
我保证带领我们队取得胜利
I promise to lead our team to victory.
伙计们 我们终于登上巅峰了
Dudes, we're finally on top.
再也没有大孩子把脏内♥裤♥怼在我脸上了
No more older kids sticking their dirty underwear in my face.
鲍比 你现在是队长了 挺好
Oh, Bobby. You're captain now. Nice.
名字里有Y的莫妮卡刚刚对你说了"挺好"
Did you just get a "Nice" From Monyca with a Y?
瞧 伙计们 好日子来了
See, guys? It's happening.
美梦要成真了
The dream is real.
正手不错啊 伙计
Nice forehand, dude.
什么不错
Nice what?
-正手击球 网球术语 -要不要来参加选拔
- Forehand. Like in tennis. - You wanna try out for the team?
不知道 我没打过什么比赛
Hey, I don't know. Never played a real game or anything before.
没关系
Oh, that's cool.
选拔的时候我和你打 我会根据你的水平来调整
At tryouts, you'll play me, and I'll adjust to your skill level.
-很有趣的 -好啊 有何不可
- It'll be fun. - Yeah, sure. Why not?
酷 利亚姆
Cool, uh... Liam.
是的
Yeah.
-你在C组 -是的
- You'll be in group C. - Yeah.
期待你的表现
Looking forward to seeing what you've got.
-酷 -酷
- Cool. - Cool.
-酷 -酷 酷
- Cool. - Cool, cool.
-酷 -酷
- Cool. - Coolio.
-待会儿见 好 -好
- Catch you later. All right. - Yeah.
加入网球队吧
Join the tennis team!
我们的队长 鲍比会根据你的水平来调整
Our captain, Bobby, will adjust to your skill level.
公开约会
Dating in the public eye.
我保证名气不会改变我的
I promise not to let fame change me.
我知道跟同事坦白还不急 但已经一个星期了
I knew telling the office would be a thing, but it's been a week.
应该给他们一点提示
They need to get a grip.
小卡 你是对的
You know, Cami, you were right.
他在消防演习等她的时候 我就应该看出来了
I shoulda known. When he waited for her during the fire drill.
少废话 付钱
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quit your gabbing. Pay up.
卡米拉 你能进来解释一下吗
Camila. Do you wanna come in here and explain.
我和所有人打了赌
Yeah, I took bets with
看他们知不知道你和山姆是情侣
everyone on whether you and Sam were a couple.
但你知道我们是啊
But you knew we were a couple.
我还有账单要付呢
I have bills to pay.
山比
Hey, Sabi.
我在想情侣名
Trying out a couple name.
怎么了 克雷格
What is it, Craig?
我在点午饭 七号♥餐没有了
I'm putting in the lunch order, and there's no number seven.
-你想要什么 -肯定有七号♥餐
- What do you want instead? - There's always a seven.
我刚问了埃斯特班 三明治没了
I just talked to Esteban. That sandwich is off the menu,
但他的新专辑很畅销
but his new EP is very much for sale.
所以七号♥餐消失了吗
So what, the seven is just gone?
对不起 加比 我知道你喜欢那个三明治
I'm sorry, Gab. I know you loved that sandwich.
你们太可爱了
You guys are precious.
支持加姆队
I am so Team Gam.
这是另一个情侣名
That's the other name I was trying out.
记得告诉我吃什么
Okay, let me know what you want instead.
他修好了水槽
He fixed the sink?
是啊
I know.
我的天啊
Oh, my goddess.
-但你才是水槽私语者啊 -没错
- But you're the sink whisperer. - Exactly.
说实话 萨沙 我挺不爽的
I'm not gonna lie, Sash, it doesn't feel great.
山姆侵犯了我的家庭贡献
Sam encroaching on my family contributions.
这让我想起了《布鲁姆斯比亚学院》的一集
This reminds me of an episode of Broomsbriar Academy
卡拉桑德拉这个女巫集♥会♥会长
where Calassandra was totally replaced as coven chancellor
完全被一个新女巫 露辛迪莎取代了
by this new witch, Lucindissa.
但卡拉桑德拉从第12季就开始担任会长了
But Calassandra's been chancellor since season 12.
是的 但是露辛迪莎有一个很棒的爱情咒语
Yeah, but Lucindissa had these really cool love spells
还有一个来自黑暗雅各布的设计师扫帚
and a designer broom from Dark Jacobs.
卡拉桑德拉后来怎么样了
What happened to Calassandra?
她被赶出了女巫集♥会♥
She got kicked out of the coven,
现在她在一家万圣节商店工作
and now she works at a Halloween store.
不会发生在你身上的
Not that that's gonna happen to you.
你的家人需要你
Your family needs you.
也许我的家人需要一个提醒
Maybe my family just needs a reminder.
你懂的
Of, you know,
我有多少贡献
how much I bring to the table.
日记 是时候站出来
Diary, it was time to step up my game
告诉家人谁才是真正的女巫集♥会♥会长了
and show my family who the real coven chancellor was.
第一步 早餐可以巩固我在家庭中的角色
Step one, to solidify my role in the family was breakfast.
通常是妈妈做吐司
Usually, it's tostadas a la Mami
但是今天 我要买♥♥甜甜圈
but today, it was gonna be doughnuts a la me.
一定会成功的
A guaranteed hit.
不 谢谢 我想要一打甜甜圈
No, thank you. I'd like a dozen doughnuts, please.
还好我能听懂这家得来速说了什么
Good thing I speak fluent drive-through.
我爸很久以前
That speaker's been broken
带我在迈阿密釉买♥♥甜甜圈的时候
ever since Dad first took me
那个扬声器坏了
to get doughnuts at Miami Glaze forever ago.
有些事情永远不会改变
Some things never change.
家人们 我买♥♥了甜食
Atención familia, I brought sweet treats.
山姆过来做了蛋
Oh, Sam came by and made eggs.
这是我最拿手的山姆蛋配培根和奶酪
My famous Sambled eggs with bacon and cheese.
我基本上只会做这个
Pretty much the only thing I know how to cook.
我给你留了一盘
I made you a plate.
我买♥♥了甜甜圈
I brought doughnuts,
所以不用了
so... I'm good.
好吧 甜甜圈里已经有蛋了
Well, doughnuts already have eggs in them.
所以这简直是"棒蛋了"
So, you could say that they are "Eggcellent."
有蛋还有甜甜圈 我在哪里
Eggs and doughnuts. Where am I?
酒店自助吗
A hotel buffet?
鲍比 你今天要选拔
Bobby. You have tryouts today.
不来点碳水吗
Don't you wanna carbo-load?
那是简单碳水化合物 埃琳娜
Those are simple carbs, Elena.
我需要复合碳水化合物
I need complex carbs.
什么 你想让我心脏骤停吗
What, do you want me to crash?
再来点山姆蛋吧
Hit me with some more of those Sambled eggs.
来咯 鲍比
Coming in hot, Bobby.
好吧 我的甜甜圈计划失败了
Okay, so my doughnut plan is foiled.
但我有B计划
But I had a plan B.
实际上 更像是一个A+计划
Actually, more like a plan A plus.
鲍比 我昨晚帮你概述了《杀死一只知更鸟》
So, Bobby, I outlined your To Kill a Mockingbird paper last night.
记住 你现在知道"恶性"这个词了
Heads up. You know the word "Pernicious" Now.
没关系 山姆帮我弄好了
That's okay. Sam actually helped me with that.
什么
Sam what?
是的 他看到我在看书 非常兴奋
Yeah, he saw me reading and got really excited.
他就像"我把自己想象成阿提库斯"
Was like, "I fancy myself an Atticus," Or whatever.
是因为他是律师吧
I guess because he's a lawyer?
你知道知更鸟可以用来比喻无辜吗
Ooh, did you know the mockingbird is a metaphor for innocence?
当然
Of course.
我现在准备好了
Yeah, so I'm set for now.
山姆很酷
Sam's pretty cool.
他以为他是谁啊
I mean, who does he think he is?
来我们家 控制早餐
Coming into our house, taking control of breakfast,
帮鲍比写论文
helping Bobby with his paper.
接下来呢 我妈妈会把他的拼字证书框起来吗
What's next? Is my mom gonna frame his spelling bee certificates?
安东尼太不可理喻了吧
Can you believe Anthony?
我受不了了
I couldn't even.
天哪 我也是
Oh, my God, totally. Neither could I.
你还记得杰西以前是我们最好的朋友吗
Do you remember when Jessie used to be our best friend?
在我们完全被取代之前吗
Before we were completely and utterly replaced?
而且完全没有理由
And for, like, no reason.
之前我们还是最好的朋友
One minute, we're best friends
突然就像卡拉桑德拉的口头禅 "噗"
and the next, as Calassandra would say, "Poof."
一定有原因
There has to be a reason.
我很难理解
Well, I'm having a hard time understanding