未来总统日记

No one was gonna keep me from my raison. Especially not Ryan.
我都不知道"飓风"
I never knew that the name "Hurricane"
来自玛雅风之神 胡拉坎
Came from the Mayan god of wind, Huracan.
而且人类第一次记录飓风
Or that the first human record of hurricanes
是出现在玛雅象形文字中
appeared in Mayan hieroglyphics.
我的《布鲁姆斯比亚学院》术士男友是托比亚斯
My Broomsbriar Academy warlock boyfriend is Tobias.
萨沙 请专注
Sasha, please focus.
这个演讲要足够精彩 才能让大家分享
This speech needs to be good enough to get everyone to share my passion
我对风 热雨之类的激♥情♥
for wind and hot rain and stuff.
好的
Right.
我只要打败瑞恩 得到我生存意义
I just need to beat Ryan and get my raison.
不知道为什么 他还挺很受欢迎
He's really popular for some reason.
克劳德 看
Claude, look.
瑞安 别闹了 你知道我的面筋过敏
Ryan, quit it. You know about my gluten allergy.
咱们的妈妈是朋友啊
Our moms are friends.
埃琳娜 很抱歉这么说
Elena, I'm really sorry to say this,
但是飓风知识真的很无聊
but hurricane facts are just really boring.
好吧
Okay. I hear you.
但如果我告诉你
But what if I told you
佛罗里达州最大的飓风都没有命名呢
that the largest hurricane in Florida wasn't even named.
1935年的五级飓风
A category five in 1935.
我可以帮它命名 打盹飓风
I can name it. Hurricane Snooze.
我连最好的朋友都吸引不了
If I'm not even able to capture the attention of my BFFAESNSOTBFBU,
我得换种方法了
I might need to try a different approach.
我能躲在这里吗
Can I hide here?
瑞恩去更衣室换上涤纶的衣服了
Ryan went to his locker to put on polyester,
现在他想抱我
and now he wants to give me a hug.
你想让我把这个垃圾抹在你嘴唇上吗
You expect me to put this caca on your lips?
不 不 用这个
No, no, no, no. Use this one.
这是专门为特殊的场合留着的
I've been saving it for a special occasion.
这个不太适合鲍比的网球比赛
It's not exactly appropriate for Bobby's tennis matches.
这个没问题了
See, now this, this will do.
美女
Ay, mi linda.
拜托 你这是什么表情
Help me help you. What's with the fuchi face?
抱歉 我只是在回想清单
Sorry. I was just going over my checklist.
披萨 锁窗户
Pizza. Dead bolts.
我最亲近的20个亲戚的紧急电♥话♥
Emergency numbers of 20 of my closest relatives.
你让我有点感激我不管我的父母
You're kinda making me grateful for my wildly unsupportive parents.
没问题的 孩子们肯定没问题
You know what? I'm fine. The kids are fine.
加比 让孩子们自己过一晚肯定没问题的
Gabi, I promise it's okay to leave your kids for a night.
-但是 -好吧 亲爱的
- But-- - Okay, sweetie.
我爱你 但你在罗伯特死前就神经质
I love you, but you were neurotic before Robert died,
现在嘛
and now, ay, ay, ay!
你工作很努力 你是个好妈妈
You work hard. You are a great mom.
你应该享受一下
You deserve to have fun for once.
你说得对 没错
You're right. It's true. I do.
看看你自己
Plus, look at yourself.
来个全身
Now let's see the whole picture.
-你觉得呢 -完美
- So, what do you think? - Perfect.
除了
Oh, except...
你真的好久没谈恋爱了
Wow, it really has been a while for you.
你不能让它露出来 你需要黑色胸罩
You can't have that sticking out. You need your black bra.
穿那个可调节肩带的半杯胸罩啊
The Bra-zé-Bra brand with the demi cup and the adjustable straps.
-底线呢 -我
- Qué boundaries? - I...
好吧
Okay.
丹妮尔和我正在上夫妇烹饪课
Well, Danielle and I are taking a couple's cooking class
所以我得在上课前吃个晚饭
so that means I gotta go grab dinner before.
但是 你能不能
But hey, can you please
假装自己没有孩子 就两个小时
pretend you don't have kids for two hours, okay?
好的
Okay.
妈妈 你是律师 你说话很有说服力
Mami. You're a lawyer. You speak persuasively.
是的 希望如此吧
Yes, I do. Well, I hope I do.
写一篇有说服力的演讲有什么诀窍
What are some tricks to writing a good, persuasive speech?
从自身出发比较好
Well, it helps to be personal.
有时可以说一件个人经历
Sometimes it's good to give an anecdote
然后和你的观点联♥系♥起来
and then relate it back to your point.
有意思
Interesting.
不 山姆来了
Oh, no, that's Sam.
埃莉妮塔 你能帮我开下门吗
Elenita, can you get that for me?
告诉他 我一分钟就好
And just tell him that I will be ready in a minute.
是埃琳娜的一分钟还是妈妈的一分钟
Is it an Elena minute or a Mami minute?
因为这是两种完全不同的时间长度
'Cause those are two very different time measurements.
说真的 妈妈的一分钟
Let's be real, Mami minute.
你见过一个黑色胸罩吗
You haven't seen a black bra around, have you?
算了
Never mind. Okay.
-埃琳娜 -西服[线]不错 山姆
- Elena. - Nice threads, Sam.
谢谢 你最喜欢哪根线
Thank you. Which thread is your favorite?
-好冷 -是的
- It's a bad joke. - Yeah.
你马上要有词汇测试吗
Ooh, you got a vocab test coming up?
你现在肯定没问题
You must be on the G's by now.
贴切的假设 可惜不是
Germane assumption. But no.
我在想办法
I'm trying to figure out
如何写出关于飓风的最佳演讲稿
how to write the best speech about hurricanes.
我一直觉得幽默
Well, I always think humor
是吸引人们注意力的最好方法
is the best way to grab people's attention.
但是一想到飓风我就 哆嗦
But just the thought of hurricanes makes me... shudder.
杰里米·皮特告诉我 他哥哥说
So, Jeremy Peet told me that his brother said
迈阿密二垒和坦帕一垒相似
that Miami second base is similar to Tampa first base.
但是
But instead...
伙计 不可能 那是三年前了
Dude, no way. That's what it was, like, three years ago.
现在是这个
Now it's this.
我不知道你从哪听说的
I don't know where you get your news
我知道那是新奥尔良二垒
because I know for a fact that that is New Orleans second base.
我以为新奥尔良二垒涉及辣酱呢
I thought New Orleans second base involved hot sauce.
也许这是芝加哥二垒
Maybe I'm thinking of Chicago second base?
伙计们
Guys.
我还是让
Maybe I should just tell
名字里有Y的莫妮卡去别的地方见我吧
Monyca with a Y to meet me somewhere else,
比如数学拖车旁边
like next to the math trailer.
数学拖车旁边
Next to the math trailer?
你打算求婚吗
Are you gonna propose?
伙计 你可以的
Come on, dude. You got this.
这样呢
Okay. What if I do this?
哥们 那是新斯科舍三垒
Dude, that's Nova Scotia third.
你情感上还没准备好
You're not emotionally ready for that.
我要检查一下
I need to check the--
天哪 妈妈 门上的牌子对你来说毫无意义吗
Oh, my God, Mom. Does a sign mean nothing to you?
孩子们 你们该回家了
Okay, boys. I think it's time for you to go home.
-好主意 -好的
- Good idea. - Yeah.
事先声明 我对枕头非常尊重
Just for the record, I was extremely respectful with the pillow.
齐吉
Ziggy.
你知道我们必须好好谈谈了 对吧
You know we have to have that talk now, right?
不
No.
你逃不掉的 亲爱的
You're not gonna get out of this one, mijo.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
吸尘是内部工作
很抱歉让你久等了 但是其实
I'm so sorry to keep you waiting but I actually--
加比 你真是太美了
Wow, Gab. You look incredible.
谢谢 你也很帅气
Thank you. You look great too.
我听说帕蒂家今晚有海鲜特♥价♥
I heard Patty's is having a seafood special tonight.
记得盯着点飞虾尾
So, keep your eyes peeled for flying shrimp tails.
但是肯定很有趣 对吧
But it'll be fun, right?
说不定有一只掉进酒杯呢 我们会笑个不停
Maybe one will fall into a wine glass, and we'll laugh and laugh.
山姆 对不起
Oh, Sam. I'm so sorry,
我今晚去不了了
but I don't think that I can make it tonight.
没事吧
Oh, everything okay?
我刚才发现鲍比和他的朋友有情况
Yeah. I just found Bobby and his friends in a situation,
现在我必须和他谈谈
and now I have to give him
八部性教育系列的第四部
part four of my eight-part sex talk series.
听起来很全面啊
Well, that sounds thorough.
今晚我要履行家长的责任 希望你能理解
I just need to be a parent tonight. I hope you understand.