未来总统日记

What? We joke about Dylan. That's our thing.
你为什么在午餐时不理我们
Why did you ignore us at lunch?
我的朋友 萨沙
My friend, Sasha.
我们喜欢看《布鲁姆斯比亚学院》
See, we love this show, Broomsbriar Academy,
她想帮我追剧
and she wanted to fill me
因为有个术士联谊会
in because there was a warlock frat party--
我们明白 你不想和我们在公共场合互动
We get it. You don't wanna be seen in public with us.
不 不是的 我们是朋友
No, that's not true. We're friends.
但是只在这里 不能在别人面前 对吧
But just in here. Not in front of anyone else, right?
我没想到留校察看会影响人们对我的看法
It's just, I didn't expect detention to affect how people see me.
我不是那个意思 我很抱歉
I did not mean it like that. I'm sorry.
随便吧 埃琳娜
Whatever, Elena.
这部电影太烂了 但我就是忍♥不住会笑
This movie is so terrible, but somehow I can't stop laughing.
我说吧
I told you.
接下来超搞笑
Watch this next part. It's hilarious.
那辆邮车不知从哪儿冒出来的
That postal truck came out of nowhere.
爸爸
Daddy!
没事的 孩子 没关系 我的时间到了
It's okay, son. It's okay. It's my time.
诅咒你 邮♥政♥局♥
Curse you, postal service!
我再也不写信了
I'm never sending a letter ever again!
别担心 儿子
Don't worry, son.
我会想办法回
I'll find a way to return...
寄件人的
...to sender.
不
No!
日记 我觉得很糟糕 我疏远了我的新朋友
Diary, I feel terrible. I alienated my new friends.
现在我又回到了起点
Now I'm right back where I started.
坐在留校教室 孤独地拿着笔
Sitting in detention, alone with my pen.
这还是迪伦修好的
That Dylan fixed.
笔 笔 笔 笔
Pen. Pen. Pen. Pen.
六点了
Okay, it's six o' clock.
下课 明天见
You're dismissed. See everyone tomorrow.
除了埃琳娜
Except Elena.
什么 我应该留校察看一周的
What? But I was supposed to serve a whole week.
因为表现良好 改成四天了
Four days for good behavior.
你不高兴吗 埃琳娜 你得到了你想要的
Aren't you happy, Elena? You got what you wanted.
是的 恭喜 你不是六点留校生了
Yeah, congrats. You're not a Six O' Clocker anymore.
她从来都不是
She never was.
我有点好奇
So, just wondering...
我的表现为什么比贝琳达
how has my behavior been better than Belinda's?
克里斯·P 或者其他人好
Or Kris P.'s? Or anyone else's?
埃琳娜 我们都知道你不会回来了
Come on, Elena. We both know you'll never be back here.
我把鞋放哪儿了
Where the hell did I put my shoe?
等等 所以父亲的灵魂离开了躯体
Wait, wait. So the dad's spirit left his body
变成了邮箱
and turned into a mailbox?
是的 继续看 下面更搞笑
Yes! Keep watching. It gets even funnier.
瞧 爸爸 全A
Look, Dad. All A's.
好儿子 好儿子
That's my boy. That's my boy.
我爱你 爸爸
I love you, Dad.
我也爱你 儿子
I love you too, son.
我得炸了这个邮箱
This mailbox has gotta go.
不行 这个邮箱是我爸爸
You can't! This mailbox is my dad!
不行 孩子 电子邮件出现了
No can do, kid. E-mail's coming.
不 爸爸
No, Dad.
不
No!
第五天
看完电影你溜得挺快啊
You split pretty quick after the movie ended.
是啊 我得回家
Yeah, I had to get home.
我妈一直在打我电♥话♥
My mom was blowing up my phone.
你有点不对劲
You seemed kinda off,
我只是来看看你没事吧
and I just wanted to check if everything was cool.
我爸在我上中学之前就去世了
My dad died right before I got to middle school.
-鲍比 我 -没事
- Bobby, I'm-- - It's chill.
我尽量不去想这件事
You know, I try not to think about it too much.
丹尼为什么要推荐《特快专递》
Why would Danny push Special Delivery?
他不知道你♥爸♥的事吗
Doesn't he know about your dad?
不知道 丹尼和齐吉跟我关系很好
I don't know. Danny and Ziggy are my boys,
但我一直没说过
but it's, sort of, just never come up.
你想聊聊吗
Do you wanna talk about it?
不 我很好
Nah. I'm good for now.
好吧 如果你想聊的话 就来找我
Well, if you ever wanna, I'm here.
电影怎么样
How was the movie?
特别搞笑
So funny.
恭喜你解除留校察看
Congrats on getting out of detention.
-谢了 -你一定很高兴
- Thanks, I guess. - You must be so happy
现在你下午不必
now that you don't have to
和六点留校生在一起了
spend your afternoons with the Six O' Clockers.
你不明白 克劳德
You don't get it, Claude.
好吧 对不起
Okay. Sorry.
我感觉脚踝的荨麻疹严重了
I just felt a burst of hives on my ankle.
我也留校了 我认识六点留校生
I was in there. I know the Six O' Clockers.
大家就是不明白
People just don't understand!
对不起 我吓到你了
Sorry I scared you.
我只希望大家都知道真♥相♥
I just wish everyone knew the truth.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
等等 你要去哪里 我们五分钟后就开始了
Wait, where are you going? We're on in five.
谢谢 五分钟
Thank you, five.
这就是我对飓风的重现
And that was my reenactment of a hurricane.
她还没回来
She's still not back yet!
继续编
Keep vamping.
我来了 我来了
I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.
谢天谢地 可以看午餐什么的了
Oh, thank God. Now for lunch and stuff.
抱歉 我正好迟到了12分钟
Sorry, I'm exactly 12 minutes late.
欢迎来到年纪教室 贝琳达
Welcome to homeroom, Belinda.
在我开始今天的午餐播报前
Before I get into today's lunch,
我有些话想说
I have some things I wanted to say
我希望学校里的每个人都能听到
that I want everyone in the school to hear.
我想说 我是六点留校生
I just wanted to say that I'm a Six O' Clocker.
但这不是坏事
But that's not a bad thing to be.
我原以为是坏事 但是留校察看时
I thought it was, but then in detention,
我认识了六点留校生
I got to know the Six O' Clockers.
他们真的很酷
They're really cool.
你对他们的偏见都是假的
And none of the things you think about them are true.
所以与其像我以前相信那些愚蠢的谣言
So instead of believing stupid rumors like I used to,
我整理了一个超级真实 超级有趣的事实清单
I've compiled a list of super true, super fun facts.
卡尔文
So, Calvin.
他真的很有趣 他家没有人抢过银行
He's really funny. And no one in his family is a bank robber.
但他的叔叔在鱼雷湾工作
But his uncle does work at Torpedo Cove.
天啊 卡尔文知道很多碰碰船泻湖的故事
Boy, does Calvin have stories about the bumper boat lagoon.
只要下水 皮肤就会脱落
If you go in the water, your skin falls off.
他有照片
He has pictures.
还有克里斯·P 她不是女巫
Then there's Kris P. She's not a witch,
除了在厨房♥ 她烤的魔幻香蕉面包无敌好吃
except in the kitchen, where she bakes a wicked banana bread.
如果你们有腐烂的香蕉 就帮帮她
So if any of you have any rotten bananas, help her out.
把它们给克里斯·P
Give 'em to Kris P.
迪伦 他真的很机智
And Dylan, he's so resourceful.
如果他偷了你的东西 肯定会还给你的
If he steals anything of yours, he always gives it back.
他还帮你修
And in better condition.
现在可以做减法了
You can subtract now.
谢了
Thanks?
还有贝琳达
And then there's Belinda.
她张开双臂欢迎我成为六点留校生
She welcomed me into the Six O' Clockers with open arms,
哪怕我留下的第一印象并不好
even though I didn't make the greatest first impression.
她真好 各位
She's so nice, you guys.
贝琳达这样的朋友真好
We could all use a friend like Belinda.
自从我的成年表姐来这里以后
And also Dr. Cooper has had the same Tercel
库珀博士的雄鹰牌汽车就没换过
since my adult cousin went here,
很明显没人烧过他的车
so clearly no one set his car on fire.
最后 是时候
And finally, it's time
辟谣留档的传闻了
to dispel the rumor about permanent records.
根本没这回事
They're not a real thing.
切掉 切掉
Cut to black! Cut to black!