未来总统日记

日记 我有没有提到鲍比是网球队长
Diary, have I mentioned that Bobby was tennis captain?
我们终于登上巅峰了
We're finally on top.
-他是的 -我正式成为学校里最好的球员
- 'Cause he has. - I'm officially the best player in school.
我妈妈在忙她的新案子
My mom was busy with her new case at work.
我想当助手
I wanna be number two.
客户明天早上来
The clients come in tomorrow morning.
晚餐时间能加个班吗
Can you work through dinner tonight?
你是让我当你的助手吗
Are-- Are you offering it to me?
密友
而且我的童年好像已经过去了
And it seemed like childhood was in my rearview mirror.
未来总统日记
第一季 第五集
在我们开始本月大餐之前
Now, before we begin our feast of time-of-the-month foods,
我想为正式欢迎你成为女人
I'd like to make a toast to officially welcome you,
埃琳娜·奥菲莉亚·卡涅罗·里德 干杯
Elena Ofelia Cañero-Reed, to womanhood.
谢谢 妈妈
Thanks, Mami.
你感觉怎么样
How do you feel?
有点痉挛 感觉像
Well, a little crampy, and it feels like
穿着一个游泳圈
I'm wearing a pool float.
但作为一个成年人 付出的代价也不大
But small prices to pay for being a grown-up.
抱歉 我的老板乔伊给我发短♥信♥
Sorry. My boss, Joy, is texting me
沟通这个新案子
about this new case we're working on.
-什么案子 -你知道海浪线度假村吗
- What's it about? - You know Waveline Resorts?
他们的客房♥部员工成立了一个工会
Their housekeeping staff formed a union.
海浪线不喜欢 所以他们解雇了所有人
Waveline didn't like that, so they fired everyone.
等等 太惨了吧
Wait, that's terrible.
所以你是在帮他们找回工作
So you're helping them get their jobs back?
还不止 我们要起诉整个酒店集团
It's a bit bigger than that. We're suing the whole hotel group.
他们要改变政策
They need to change their policies
不能再发生这种事了
so that this doesn't happen again.
你能做到吗
You can do that?
这将是一场艰难的斗争 但是
Well, it's gonna be a tough uphill battle, but
必须要有人拨乱反正
someone's gotta right these wrongs.
请原谅我说脏话 妈妈 你好屌♥啊
Pardon my French, Mami, but you're kind of a badass.
谢谢 宝贝 我是说 谢谢女士
Thank you, mija. I mean, thank you señora.
该死 又是乔伊
Oh, shoot. It's Joy again.
慢慢来
Take your time.
职业女性
"When you're a career woman,
平衡工作和娱乐是很重要的
it's important to balance work and play."
我从便笺簿背面读到的
I read that off the back of my pad box.
加比 我想和你谈谈海浪线的声明
Hey, Gabi. Listen, I wanna talk to you about the Waveline statement.
我觉得可能有点长
I think it might be a little long.
我也这么想
I thought the same thing.
等等 我正在看笔记 到处都是
Hang on, I'm going through my notes. They're all over the place.
我妈打电♥话♥和我说 我的新发型很难看
My mother called and told me my new haircut makes me look annoying.
你敢信
Can you believe that?
拜托 我觉得挺好
Come on. I love your cut.
我妈总是损我的发型
My mom is always giving me grief about my hair.
太荒谬了 对吧
So ridiculous, right?
是的 所以声明你觉得应该简短一点吗
Right? So the statement, you think it should be shorter?
不 不 她觉得长度没问题
No, no. She's fine with the length.
但她对颜色的看法太多了
But she has a million opinions on the color.
日记 我妈妈是如此鼓舞人心
Diary, my mom is so inspiring.
一个坚强的女人 为改变而奋斗
A strong woman, fighting to make change.
我想和她一样
I wanted to be just like her.
我准备好了 世界 我现在是个女人了
I was ready, world. I mean, I was a woman now.
恭喜你
Congratulations.
你变成女人了
You're a woman!
我就感觉你变了
I knew there was something different about you.
起初 我以为你化妆了 但现在我知道了
At first, I thought you were wearing makeup, but now I know,
不是睫毛膏让你的眼睛闪闪发光 而是智慧
it's not mascara that's making your eyes pop, it's wisdom.
谢谢 萨沙
Thanks, Sash.
你们俩有护垫吗
Do either of you have a pad?
抱歉 匀不了了
Sorry, can't spare any.
这个月流量很大
Such a heavy flow this month.
我也是 一定是因为月亮
Yeah, same. Must be the moon.
我有
I have a pad.
天哪 非常感谢
Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
这是一种荣幸和特权
It's an honor and a privilege.
顺便说一句 月亮的故事是虚构的
The moon thing, by the way, is a myth.
我们的月经是由垂体调节的 提醒一下
Our cycles are regulated by our pituitary glands. Just FYI.
你们好啊
What up, what up?
我知道这里是美国的垃圾镇
So, I know this is Lame Town, USA.
但为了致敬精神周
But in honor of spirit week,
每个六年级的学生都要写一篇文章
each sixth grader has to write an essay.
标题是
The prompt is
我为什么以战斗斯旺斯比骄傲
"Why I'm proud to be a Fighting Swansby."
五百字 双倍行距
Five hundred words, double-spaced,
这不是我的规则
and this is not my rule,
但是亨利 表情包不算字数
but, Henry, emojis don't count.
烟从耳朵冒出来表情包
Smoke coming out of ears.
我为什么以战斗斯旺斯比骄傲
迈阿密林中空地律所
我和埃琳娜在一起 庆祝她的重要时刻
So, I'm with Elena, celebrating her big moment.
是的 所以我要过去
Yeah, which I was there for.
帮助 支持 激励
You know, helping, supporting, inspiring.
抱歉 你说什么
I'm sorry. You were saying?
乔伊打电♥话♥来谈这个案子
So then Joy calls to talk about the case,
但她一直说她的头发 她妈 她妈的头发
but kept going on and on about her hair, her mom, her mom's hair.
我喜欢乔伊 真的
I like Joy. I do,
但她杂七杂八的事
but she's taking up an awful lot of my time
占用了我很多时间
with things that aren't, well, work.
我知道怎么回事饿了 乔伊在老板控你
I see what's going on here. Joy's holding you bosstage.
老板控
"Bosstage"?
老板逼手下陪她
It's when a boss makes you hang out with them.
她是你老板 所以你无法拒绝
And they're your boss, so you feel like you can't say no.
我在上一家律所发明的词
I coined it at my last firm.
那里有很多老板控
There were a lot of active bosstage situations.
主要是壁球
Racquetball, mostly.
应该是有些老板控 但是可以控制
I guess there's some bosstaging going on. But it's manageable.
这是暂时的 但如果你不设定界限
For now. But if you don't set boundaries,
就会成为问题
it can become a problem.
拿我举例
Take it from me.
到最后我在北达科他州的壁球锦标赛
I ended up playing a nine-day
和我的老板哈罗德玩了九天
racquetball tournament in North Dakota with my boss, Harold.
我错过了表哥的婚礼
I missed my cousin's wedding.
-你在这啊 -我在这
- There she is. - Here I am.
今晚要弄到很晚 我们点些西班牙小吃吧
Hey, it's gonna be a late night. How about we order some tapas?
-听起来不错 -好
- That sounds great. - Okay.
-别说了 -老板控
- Don't say it. - Bosstage.
伙计们 精神周到了
Okay, guys, it's spirit week,
这意味着我们要跟洋边比赛了
which means our big match against Oceanside.
要是装备不够看
And we can't crush those guys
还怎么干掉他们
if we don't look like winners, right?
看看这个
So take a look at this.
没错 每个人都有一件姓氏夹克
That's right. Everybody gets a jacket with your last name on it.
你们要自豪地穿上
I want you guys to wear these with pride.
排好队 战斗斯旺斯比
Okay, line up, Fighting Swansbys.
怎么了 你对赠品过敏吗
What's up? You allergic to free swag?
写错名字就没那么酷了
It's not that cool when they never get your name right.
什么意思
What do you mean?
-你知道我的姓里有个ñ吧 -嗯
- You know the "ñ" in my last name? - Yeah.
他们不知道
Well, they don't.
难过的表情都有 真正的字符都没有吗
They have a sad face, but not an actual letter?
我放弃了
I've given up hope.
卡涅罗·里德
Cañero-Reed?
不管今年怎么说
No matter what it says this year--
我都会自豪地穿上
I'll wear it with pride.
太好了
Sweet.
-洋边死定了 -没错
- Oceanside is going down. - Yeah!
抱歉 我迟到了
Sorry, I'm late.
走廊D严重堵塞
There was a major traffic jam in hallway D.
-怎么了 -我坐下来准备写