未来总统日记

她现在是杰西卡了 记得吗
She's Jessica now, remember?
-是的 -梅丽莎
- Oh, yeah, right. - Hey, Melissa.
你们俩曾经那么亲密
Still, you two were so close.
重点是"曾经"
"Were" being the operative word.
她现在有新的好朋友了 梅丽莎
She has her new best friend now, Melissa.
奥兰治湾中学
我 杰西和萨沙曾经是最好的朋友
Jessie used to be one of my BFFs. It was me, her, and Sasha.
稍后再谈萨沙
More on Sasha later.
在六年级的"了解自我"的聚会
But at the sixth grade get-to-know-you assembly,
梅丽莎称赞了杰西的闪亮的拖鞋
Melissa complimented Jessie's glitter slides,
然后突然间
and, before I knew it,
她们就相约去梅丽莎的游泳池游泳了
they were night swimming in Melissa's pool,
杰西现在是杰西卡了
and Jessie was now Jessica.
这还不算糟
It's not like things aren't tough enough already.
三所小学都会进同一所中学
I mean, three elementary schools feed into my one middle school.
特别大
It's gigantic.
我在奥兰治湾小学就挺厉害的
I kinda had things figured out at Orange Bay Elementary.
奥兰治湾小学12周最佳学生的家长
比如我经常是周最佳学生 不是我吹牛啊
Like, I was student of the week a lot. Not to brag.
但是中学是不同的 或者说有差异
But middle school is different, or discrepant.
第一节课是年纪教室 还好我并不孤单
First period is homeroom, and luckily, I'm not alone.
别闹了
Come on. Turn down.
我有萨沙 她是个真正忠诚的朋友
I have Sasha, who's a true, loyal friend.
我的好姐妹
My bffaesnsotbfbu.
意思是"自从我们第三个好朋友背叛了我们
That means "Best friend forever and ever
我们变得更亲密 更强大了
stronger now since our third best friend betrayed us."
我们最喜欢的电视剧是《布鲁姆斯比亚学院》
Our favorite TV show is Broomsbriar Academy,
我们最喜欢的乐队是"蜜糖小子"
and our favorite band is Sugah Boyz,
但是他们的主唱斯凯勒·扎克斯顿 却没有
but their lead singer, Skyler Zaxton, is not nearly as cute as...
乔伊·费尔德斯坦是这个世界最帅气的生物
Joey Feldstein is the most gorgeous creature to walk the planet.
你的爱从幼儿园就注定了
I mean, your love has been fated since, like, kindergarten.
乔伊和其他男孩不一样 我无法解释
Joey is different from the other boys. I just can't explain it.
西班牙语作业第五个
Hey, so what did you guys get for
你们写的是什么
number five on the Spanish worksheet?
"我们"
Nosotros.
好的 谢谢
Cool, thanks.
天哪 他和我说话了
Oh, my God. He talked to me.
杰西卡 你有卫生棉条吗
Hey, Jessica, do you have a tampon?
当然 梅丽莎 我来月经了
Of course, Melissa. I'm on my period.
-同经姐妹 -同经姐妹
- Cycle sisters. - Cycle sisters.
埃琳娜 卫生棉条是
Oh, hey, Elena. So, a tampon is--
我知道 我只是没来月经 不是在中生代前
I know what a tampon is. I'm premenstrual, not pre-Mesozoic.
什么意思
What does that even mean?
你知道的 我们在四年级编了那首歌♥
Come on, you know this. We made up that song in fourth grade.
*在古生代和新生代之间*
*Between the Paleozoic and the Ceno--*
闭嘴 书呆子
Okay, shut up, nerd.
她们甚至不用护垫
They don't even use pads...
对于杰西卡和梅丽莎而言
To Jessica and Melissa,
月经只是某种身份的象征
periods are just some kind of status symbol.
这也是我和我以前最好的朋友分开的一个原因
One more thing that separates me from my ex-best friend.
社会学那个要多长时间
Hey, so how many minutes does this social studies thing have to be?
-三分钟 -好的 谢谢
- Three minutes. - Cool, thanks.
天哪
Oh, my God.
乔伊也提前开始弄社会学了
Joey's getting a head start on social studies too.
我昨晚开始看书了
I started my reading last night.
你知道同盟国
Hey, did you know -that the Allied Powers go to--
不 等等 等等 不 等等
No, wait. Wait, no. Wait, wait, wait.
提前 什么意思
"Head start"? What do you mean?
等等 二战的演讲是下周啊
Wait, that World War II presentation, it's due next week.
对吧
Right?
不 是今天
No, today.
埃琳娜 你没做吗
Elena, did you not do it?
我写了下周
I wrote down that it was due next week.
我写错日期了 萨沙
I wrote down the wrong date, Sasha!
-天哪 你从来没这样过 -我知道
- Oh, my God. You never do that. - Um... I know.
我现在有很多课 很难记清楚
I have so many classes now, it's hard to keep track.
冷静 深呼吸 深呼吸 没事的
Okay. Okay. Calm down. Breathe, breathe, breathe. It's okay.
没事的 社会学第六节课才开始
It's okay. Okay, listen, social studies isn't till sixth period.
在年纪教室下课前弄完吧
So, just do it now before homeroom ends.
对不起 埃琳娜
I'm sorry, Elena.
不 不 不
No, no, no.
日记里只有一个词
Diary, there was only one word for this:
灾难
catastrophic.
还有灾难性
Also, cataclysmic.
加比 这是我校对的发现请求
Hey, Gab, here's the discovery request I proofed.
发现少了两个逗号♥ 我太棒了
Found two missing commas. Big win for me.
我以为这个已经完美了
I thought this one was perfect.
去格洛丽亚·埃斯特凡姐夫那里买♥♥三明治吗
Wanna get sandwiches later from Gloria Estefan's brother-in-law?
-他在撒谎 -你怎么知道
- He's lying about that. - How do you know for sure?
他叫埃斯特班
His name is Esteban.
他能叫埃斯特班·埃斯特凡吗
Esteban Estefan. Come on.
总之我今天不能去 因为我要去
Anyway, I can't today because I am actually going to be going...
你要和山姆温存
Ah, you'll be getting calentito with Sam.
-卡米拉 -怎么了 没错吧
- Camila. - What? That's what you do, isn't it?
我要听埃斯特班的小样 你却在午间幽会
While Esteban plays me his demos, you're having a midday tryst.
才不是 我们是吃午饭
That's not true. We have lunch.
只有这时候孩子们才不在家
It's the only time I know the kids aren't home.
你还没跟埃琳娜和鲍比说山姆的事
You still haven't told Elena and Bobby about Sam.
你也没跟你父母说丹妮尔的事啊
You still haven't told your parents about Danielle.
这完全不一样
Ah, that is totally different.
你的孩子不是憎恶同性恋的墨西哥老年人
Your kids aren't elderly, homophobic Mexicans.
不 他们是又小又脆弱的古巴裔美国人
No, they're tiny, fragile Cuban Americans
很早就经历过悲剧
who've experienced tragedy far too young.
所有关于悲伤的书都说孩子们需要几年
All the books on grief say that it could take kids years
-来接受 -我爱罗伯特 我们都爱他
- to even process the fact-- - Listen, I loved Robert. We all did.
三年很长
Three years is a long time.
山姆是罗伯特之后你喜欢的第一个人
Sam is the first guy you've liked since Robert--
什么
What?
我没说"爱" 我是说"喜欢"
I didn't say "love," I said "like."
我知道 但是小声点
I know. But come on. Tone it down.
有本新书
I got a new one.
-山姆 -准备好了吗
- Hi, Sam. - Ready?
我们有选择吗
Ugh, do we have a choice?
我在读一本关于反重力的书
So, I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
太棒了 爱不释手
It's so great it's impossible to put down.
我懂了
Okay. I can read a room.
我就是来送东西 打个招呼
I just wanted to drop this off and say hi.
天哪 你们去会议室吧
Oh, my God, you guys, get a conference room.
点了你最喜欢吃的
中午见
怪不得你不让他见你的孩子
Oh, yeah, totally get why you won't let him meet your kids.
他太坏了
He's the worst.
你见过我女儿吗 她还挺情绪化的
Have you met my daughter? She could be a little intense.
拜托 埃琳娜没那么情绪化
Oh, come on. Elena's not that intense.
-我是加比 -我要转学
- Gabi here. -I need to transfer schools.
转学 我在工作 回家见
Okay, transfer schools. I'm at work. I'll see you at home.
等等 说真的 妈妈
Wait, seriously, Mami.
快来接我
Just come pick me up.
就说我得了传染性单核细胞增多症
Say I have mono. That's good.
或者虱子 没人喜欢虱子
Or lice. No one wants to deal with lice.
埃琳娜 怎么回事
Elena, what happened?
我写错了日期 我的社会学演讲
I wrote down the wrong date, and my social studies presentation
是今天 不是下周
is today, not next week.
这些事情难免的 宝贝
These things happen, mija.
我们常常会漏掉一个逗号♥
You know, every so often we miss a comma.
或者两个
Or two.
所以你不来接我吗
So you're not coming to get me?
人生的挫折很多的
Life is always going to throw you curveballs.
重要的是你如何处理
What matters is how you handle them.
我爱你 再见
I love you. Bye.
二战 二战
World War II. World War II.
杰西卡 非常感谢你的卫生棉条
Jessica, thanks so much for this tampon.