未来总统日记

一起换卫生棉条多好玩
I love that we get to do this at the same time.
当同经姐妹比柯契拉音乐节有趣多了
Being cycle sisters is, like, more fun than Coachella.
杰西卡 可以走了吗
Jessica, are you ready to go?
我还没弄完 午饭见吧
You know, I'm still not done. I'll meet you at lunch.
好的
Okay.
你好 杰西卡
Hello, Jessica.
所以
So...
你来月经了吗
you have your period?
是啊 我刚才在里面呢
Yeah. I was just in there.
包装纸呢
Where's the wrapper thingy?
太恶心了
Creep much?
那个奇怪的金属东西里没有垃圾
There's no garbage in that weird metal thing.
卫生棉条包装呢
You know, the period box.
那是梅丽莎的垃圾 你的呢
There's Melissa's trash. Where's yours?
我把东西都冲了
I flushed everything.
我看穿了你年纪教室的小把戏
I saw your little show in homeroom.
你根本没有可以冲掉的东西
You don't have the flushable kind.
你谎称自己来了月经
You're lying about your period.
就像你谎称自己从幼儿园到五年级
Just like you lied about being my best friend
是我最好的朋友一样
from kindergarten through fifth grade.
我必须放弃你 我不能和你还有梅丽莎同时做朋友
I had to drop you. I can't be friends with you and Melissa.
-不能这样 -为什么
- That's not how it works. - Why not?
埃琳娜 我长大了 你显然没有
Come on, Elena. I grew up and you obviously didn't.
你没有月经 杰西
You don't have your period... Jessie.
好吧
Fine. Okay?
梅利莎在画我的眼线 她说"我来月经了"
Melissa was doing my eyeliner, and she said, "I have my period,"
我说"我也是"
and I said, "Same."
为什么 这太扯了
Why? That's so random.
梅丽莎可以和我们中学的任何人做朋友
Melissa could be friends with anyone in our whole middle school,
但她选了我
but she picked me.
六年级以前她都不认识我
She doesn't know who I was before sixth grade.
我就是戴牙齿矫正器
That I was Jessie who wore headgear
去参加《明日音乐剧之星》的杰西
to Musical Theatre Stars of Tomorrow.
你的牙齿需要矫正
So your teeth needed anchorage.
并没有影响你的表现
It didn't affect your performance.
在梅丽莎眼中 我是杰西卡 我一直很酷
To Melissa, I'm Jessica. And I've always been cool.
等等
Wait.
你不会告诉任何人吧
You're not gonna, like, tell anyone, are you?
你不会的 我们曾经是好朋友
You would never do that. We have a history.
*在古生代和新生代之间*
*Between the Paleozoic And the Cenozoic...*
*他们的朋友是中生代吗*
*Is their friend the Mesozoic*
你还记得
You do remember.
你为什么一直撒谎
Why do you keep lying?
埃琳娜 中学是一片丛林
Elena, you know middle school's a jungle.
请不要告诉任何人 这会毁掉一切的
Please don't tell anyone. It would ruin everything.
我感觉很好 今天见了我的孩子 迈出了一大步
I feel good. Today you took a big step in meeting my kids.
你给我看了他们的房♥间 非常棒
You showed me their rooms, which were great.
埃琳娜不会让一般人看她的书签收藏
Elena doesn't let just anyone see her bookmark collection.
我知道这很难
I know this is hard.
让他们认识我 认真地谈恋爱
Introducing me to them, it makes all this real.
是啊
Yeah.
你懂我 谢谢
You get it. Oh, thank you.
快
Soon...
什么味道
What's that smell?
这家伙是谁
Who's this dude?
然后就开始上第六节课社会学了
And then, just like that, it was sixth period social studies.
"经期" 双关了
"Period." Get it?
埃琳娜·卡内罗·里德
Elena Canero-Reed.
史论
是卡涅罗·里德
It's Cañero-Reed.
对不起 轮到你了
Sorry. It's your turn.
你可以的
You got it.
我还没弄完演讲 我很紧张
I hadn't finished my presentation. And I was so nervous.
我这辈子从来没有这么没准备过
I had never been this unprepared for anything in my entire life.
其实她叫卡呆子·里德
Actually, her name is Ca-nerd-o Reed.
梅丽莎 别这样
Melissa, no.
我能想到的只有杰西卡的谎言
All I could think about was Jessica's lie.
你中午在家干什么
What are you doing home in the middle of the day?
你中午在家干什么
What are you doing home in the middle of the day?
我
I...
我是你妈 我先问的
I am your mom, and I asked first.
我忘了带美分
I forgot my bag of pennies.
你是谁
So who are you?
这是
This is, uh...
鲍比 这是
Bobby, this is, um...
山姆
Sam.
很高兴见到你 鲍比
Nice to meet you, Bobby.
我和你妈妈是同事
Your mom and I work together.
我们只是来拿些文件
We just came here to get some files.
这些美分是干什么用的
What are the pennies for?
99美分的汉堡
Ninety-nine cent burgers.
你用美分付啊
So you're paying in pennies?
是的
Yeah.
有道理[用美分付]
Well, that makes, uh... sense.
-是的 -还不错吧
- Yeah, that's... that's... - That's good?
这还挺好笑
...that's kind of... funny.
我在和他谈恋爱 我们也是同事
I'm seeing this man. We also work together.
他是个好人 不是你♥爸♥爸的替代品
He is a good guy and not a replacement for your dad.
你需要多长时间来接受都可以
Obviously, please take as long as you need to process this.
记住我非常爱你和你妹妹
And remember that I love you and you sister so much.
对了 别告诉她
By the way, don't tell her.
让我告诉她 因为她会发疯的
Let me tell her 'cause she'll freak out.
我开车送你回学校
I'm gonna drive you back to school.
你逃课了吗 你还记得蒂托表哥吗
Are you missing class right now? Do you remember cousin Tito?
-我不说了 -好的
- Okay, I'll stop. - Yeah.
淡定
Chill.
我应该装两个袋子的
Should've double-bagged it.
同学们好
Hello, class.
我今天来谈谈
So, I'm here to talk to you today
二战的一个特殊部分
about a specific part of World War II
我觉得很有意思 所以研究了一下
which I find interesting and elaborate on it.
当然 我已经完成了全部的作业
Per the assignment, which I, of course, completed in full.
午饭时 我知道一件那个时期[月经]
During lunch, I actually learned something extra interesting...
特别有趣的故事
about this period.
1939年战争爆发时
In 1939, when the war broke out,
世界是一个大而可怕的地方
the world was a big, frightening place.
时代不像以前那么简单了
Times were not as simple as before.
人口变多了
The population was larger.
人们在改变 变得更好
People were changing, becoming better
或者更糟
or worse versions of themselves.
因为各种各样愚蠢和不诚实的原因而受欢迎
Getting popular for various, perhaps stupid and dishonest reasons.
简而言之 世界是一片丛林
In short, it was a jungle out there.
所以 各国决定结成联盟
So, countries decided to form alliances.
团结起来对抗猖獗的恐怖
Band together to fight the rampant terror,
虽然他们之间也有分歧
despite the chasms between them.
他们结成了同盟国
They became the Allied Powers.
因为他们与其他强国的联♥系♥
And because of their connections to other powerful countries,
所以打败了轴心国
they were able to defeat the Axis Powers.
他们克服了分歧
They rose above their differences,
一起赢得了战争
and together they were able to win the war.
杰西卡 我们去商场
Jessica, when we go to the mall,
先去乔咖啡 然后去佐伊&提尔
let's hit Coffee Joe's, then Zoey & Till,
然后去潮人等等
then Trendsetter Etcetera,
-最后去小按♥摩♥店 -我们知道啦
- and then massages at Gadgetorium. - Okay, we get it.
你门可以单独去商场很多地方
You can go to many places in the mall unaccompanied.
别秀了
No need to rub it in.
我们要擦的只有
The only things we'll be rubbing in
珀莎珐的遮瑕膏样品
are concealer samples from Persepha.
-对吧 杰西卡 -别理这两个人了
- Right, Jessica? - Let's leave these two alone.
快去商场吧
I mean, we gotta hit the mall
不然咖啡店要排长队了