未来总统日记

与其你在等她道歉
Do you think that maybe you are waiting for her to make an apology
说不定该道歉的是你呢
that you should be making?
我知道这听起来很吓人
I know that sounds scary.
但如果很吓人 那可能意味着你应该去做
But if it's scary, it probably means that you have to do it.
看 鳄鱼肉
Look! Alligator meat.
妈妈 我们试试吧
Mami, let's try some.
不 埃琳娜 我们现在很开心
No, Elena, we're making good time,
你要去塔拉哈西
and you're going to Tallahassee.
鳄鱼肉让我抓狂
And alligator meat freaks me out.
你觉得吃鳄鱼肉很吓人吗
So, would you say eating alligator meat is scary?
他们怎么知道这是安全的
I mean, how do they even know it's safe?
标准是什么
What's the metric?
你不是说了吗
And did you not just say,
如果我引用错了 请原谅我
and please, forgive me if I'm misquoting,
如果一件事很吓人 那可能意味着你应该去做
"That if a thing is scary, it probably means you should do it"?
埃琳娜 那不是
Elena, that is not...
好 我们耽搁一会吧
You know what, yep, we'll make a quick stop.
有时候我觉得你过于聪明了
Sometimes I think you're too smart for my own good.
太棒了
Oh, yeah.
现在谁是机器人海的特里伦大♥师♥
Now who's Master TriTron of the Robotic sea?
是你 你是乌贼导弹和海带手榴弹之王
You are. You're the king of squid missiles and kelp grenades.
与其玩电子游戏
Instead of playing video games...
不如看电视吧
we could watch some TV.
我《鲁保罗变装皇后秀》还没看完呢
I'm behind on RuPaul's Drag Race.
你觉得呢 鲍比
What do you think, Bobby?
他们赛什么车
Ooh, what kind of cars do they race?
其实没有赛车
They don't, actually.
说到运动
Okay. Speaking of sports,
我听说比莉·吉恩·金出了一个很棒的纪录片
I hear there's a great new doc on Billie Jean King.
应该很有趣 你是打网球的嘛
That could be fun. You play tennis.
是的 我看过了
Yeah, yeah, I saw that.
我喜欢鲍比·里格斯 因为我们都叫鲍比
I like Bobby Riggs, 'cause we're both named Bobby.
嗯
Yeah.
他的传承确实值得怀疑
Well, his legacy is actually pretty questionable.
但既然我们说到提问
But since we're talking about questioning--
好了 够了
Okay, that's enough.
鲍比 你今天学校有什么新闻吗
Hey, Bobby, what'd you do at school today, huh?
我数学测验得了82分
I got an 82 on a math quiz.
我和女朋友说了我爱她
Uh, told my girlfriend I loved her.
我在挤奶比赛中打败了丹尼
Beat Danny at a milk-chugging contest.
等等 什么
Wait, what?
你和女朋友说了你爱她
You told your girlfriend that you loved her?
这可是大事啊
I mean, wow. That's a big deal.
是的 挺好
Yeah, it was chill.
挺好 酷炫
Chill. Dope.
妥妥的
Yeah. Tight.
我去弄点橘子汁
I'm gonna grab some OJ.
有问题
Problematic.
那个三根手指的家伙
Wow, that guy with three fingers
对鳄鱼肉很感兴趣
was really passionate about alligator meat.
我记不清
I lost track of the amount
他说了多少次这种肉富含蛋白质
of times he called this meat "Proteinaceous."
准备好面对真♥相♥了吗
Okay. Are we ready for the moment of truth?
好
Okay.
-一 二 三 -一 二 三
- One, two, three. - One, two, three.
还不错
It's not bad.
尝起来像鸡肉
Tastes like chicken.
但是不怎么好吃的鸡肉
But, like a mean chicken.
不行
Nope.
不行
Oh, no.
我承认 我很高兴我们停下来了
I have to admit, I'm glad we stopped.
我们很久没有享受过母女时光了
We were long overdue a mother-daughter bonding moment.
其实挺好玩的
This was actually kinda fun.
我和山姆聊聊母女时光 他肯定
Oh. I should tell Sam about what we just tried. He'd be so...
很骄傲
proud.
你干嘛
Why did you do that?
我们在享受宝贵的蛋白质时刻
We're having our precious proteinaceous moment.
你在躲山姆吗
Are you avoiding Sam?
埃琳娜 拜托
Elena, come on.
你们吵架了吗
Are you guys in a fight?
这就是为什么我们一个星期没吃山姆蛋吗
Is that why we haven't had Sambled eggs in a week?
天啊 米娅
Por Dios, Mija--
妈妈 你和山姆分手了吗
Mami... did you and Sam break up?
能把旧床给我吗 我一直想要一个1米5的床
Hey, can I have your old bed? I've been wanting a queen.
完全没问题
And that's completely okay.
其实我们没有要扔床
We're actually not getting rid of any beds.
那你们为什么要安床
So, then why're you putting together a second one?
我们觉得在客厅放张床
We thought that, you know, uh, having a bed in the living room
会让客人觉得温馨
would help guests feel warm and welcome,
他们想待多久就可以待多久
like they can stay as long as they want.
为什么不买♥♥蒲团呢
Why didn't you just get a futon?
好问题
Uh, good question.
我们在道德上反对蒲团
We are morally against futons.
我们讨厌家具另作他用
We hate when furniture poses as other furniture.
好了 够了
Okay, that's enough.
我们装第二张床
We're putting together a second bed
是因为卡米拉的父母还不知道我们在一起
because Camila's parents still don't know we're together.
他们来的时候 我们会假装是室友
And we pretend to be roommates when they come to town.
好惨
That sucks.
别担心 这里还是安全的地方
Don't worry. This is still a safe space.
反歧视同志联盟会很高兴的
GLAAD would be so glad.
你居然不告诉我
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
广♥告♥牌让我们下地狱之前
We've been sitting next to each other since before the billboards
我们就坐在一起了
started telling us we were going to hell.
埃琳娜 拜托 这次旅行很有趣
Elena, please. This trip was getting so fun.
我也不用上班看见山姆了
And it's been a nice break from all the Sam stuff at work.
等等 我把话说清楚
Wait a second. Let me get this straight.
你开车送我去"吓人"的地方
You've been driving me to my so-called "Scary" thing
是为了逃避你害怕的地方吗
so that you can drive away from yours?
我又被背叛了
Another betrayal.
你赢了
You know what? You win.
带我去塔拉哈西 带我去你想去的地方
Take me to Tallahassee. Take me wherever you want.
我不在乎了
I don't care anymore.
每次父母来 你们都要装这张床吗
You build this bed every time your parents come?
听起来很辛苦啊
Sounds like a lot of work.
没事
It's fine.
只是腕管有点痛 精神有点崩溃
Just gives me mild carpal tunnel and a small mental breakdown.
真倒霉
Bummer.
但卡米拉还没准备好告诉她父母
But Camila is not ready to tell her parents yet,
她需要一个过程
and that's her process.
重复安装这张床是这个过程的一部分
Building this bed over and over again is part of that process.
只有和她一起
And there's no one else
我才会安装这张又大又笨的床
I would rather build this big, dumb bed with.
也不是一起
I mean "For."
都是我在装
I do all the work.
挺好的
That's really chill, guys.
我不敢相信我妈妈没告诉我山姆的事
I couldn't believe my mom didn't tell me about Sam.
看来鳄鱼肉也会背叛
Guess alligator meat came with a side of betrayal.
太扯了 收音机也在放
How crazy is that? It's on the radio.
我们很认真地教爸爸歌♥词
We really tried to teach Dad the lyrics,
但他就是不想学
but he just never wanted to learn.
我觉得他喜欢自己编歌♥词
I think he liked making up his own words.
我也很想他
Yeah. I miss him too.
埃琳娜 你有权生我的气
You know, Elena, you have every right to be upset with me.
感觉自己被背叛了
And feeling a little betrayed.
我被山姆的事搞得心烦意乱 以至于
I got so wrapped up with what was happening with Sam, that I...
我忘记了你的感受
I lost track of your feelings,
我也不想的 但我还是犯了错
and I did not want to do that, and I did.
我很抱歉
And I am so sorry.
抱歉 我吼了你
I'm sorry I yelled at you.