熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S02E03

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:34 p.m.

Okay. Okay, bad guy!
好吧好吧坏人
I know you're out there.
我知道你就在附近
But you picked the wrong house, buddy.
但你可选错了房♥子哥们
The wrong house!
选错了
I may be scared,
我可能是吓着了
but I am not going down like this!
但绝不会就这样屈服
Now that Trav's at college, what's it like
现在小崔去了大学
living all alone in this big, empty house?
一个人住在这空荡荡的大房♥子里感觉怎样
I wouldn't say I'm getting a lot of sleep.
反正睡得不太好就是了
Why a spoon? You can't hurt anybody with a spoon.
为什么用勺子勺子又伤不了人
Ow! Oh, please. I barely hit you.
拜托我都没使劲
Ohh. I can't believe Travis is gone. I just--
真不敢相信崔维斯已经走了我
I miss him so much.
我太想他了
Except for when I lived in Paris, I've never lived alone before.
除了在巴黎那次我从没单独住过
You've also never lived in Paris.
你也没在巴黎住过
If you visit a place for over a week,
一个人待在某个地方超过一个礼拜
Then you get to say you lived there.
就可以说他在那里住过
Well, then I'm a badass,
那我可算个坏家伙了
because I lived in a women's prison once.
因为我曾经在女子监狱里住过
Cracker alert.
入侵警报
Oh. I put bells on the front door.
我在前门上挂了铃铛
That way I know when someone's coming in to kill me.
这样有人杀进来的话我就能知道
I like the bells. It's little Christmassy.
我喜欢那些铃铛有点圣诞节气氛
Ohh. With Travis gone, how am I ever gonna feel safe?
崔维斯走了我以后哪来的安全感呢
Jules, I'm here sleeping with you most nights.
茱尔斯大多数晚上我都在这边陪着你睡
Holler.
哦也
Plus, it's a safe neighborhood.
再说这个片区挺安全的
You're right. Oh, boy.
你说得对天啊
What, Iis there a mark? No.
怎么有印子了吗没有
Really? Because it feels hot and raised.
是吗我感觉有点热有点胀
Well, it's not. I mean, come on. Guys?
真没有是吧各位
I don't see anything.
我什么也没看见
No, I don't see--yeesh. Nope. I don't see nothin'.
没什么也看不到
Within my finger circle that I'm making... Nope.
就我手指画的这一圈没
nothing right there?
什么也没有吗
Can you believe it, Kevin?
你能相信吗凯文
This... Is... College.
这就是大学
You know, in high school, wasn't that popular.
高中的时候我并不是特别受欢迎
Wasn't a dork. Had a girlfriend.
也不是个白♥痴♥ 有个女朋友
Had intercourse with her. You know... How I... Do.
跟她发生过关系你懂的
But, uh, still most people just knew me as the guy
不过大部分人都只知道我是个
with the haircut who made his head look perfectly square.
剪了个方脑袋发型的家伙
But not here.
在这就不是了
No. Here I'm gonna be a quiet badass,
不在这我要做一个低调的坏家伙
like Harry Potter.
像哈利·波特那样的
Not early Potter, but in the last book, when he--
不是以前的他是最近这本里的他
What am I doing? You probably read it.
我♥干♥吗呢你说不定已经读过了
The point is, that's the great thing about college.
重点是这就是大学最爽的部分
You decide who you're going to be.
你自己决定你要成为什么样的人
I'm gonna call you "Square head."
我以后就叫你"方脑袋"
Fantastic.
太棒了
I just don't know what to do with myself.
我不知道该怎么办
When Travis was here, I always had something to obsess over.
崔维斯在的时候我心里总是记挂着什么
He was like my own little pale science project.
他就像我自己的某个无聊的科技项目
Go see him. Dork university is only, like, 20 minutes away.
去看他啊白♥痴♥大学也就20分钟车程
I promised I'd stop being so clingy.
我保证过不再那么粘他
We're only gonna talk once a week.
我们以后一周只打一次电♥话♥
What, you're finally noticing my new haircut?
怎样你们终于发现我的新发型了
I think it's awesome, too.
我也觉得帅呆了
That constant attention Jules tortured Trav with...
茱尔斯之前对小崔那种折磨般的持续关注
well, that crap bomb's gotta land on someone else, buddy.
定时炸♥弹♥总要落到别人身上的哥们
Guess who she's gonna pick?
猜一下她会选谁呢
Since your son left, I wanted to cheer you up.
你儿子走了我想让你振作起来
It's my family's label. Uh, we're all winemakers.
这是我家的商标我们都自己造红酒
Thanks, Tom.
谢谢汤姆
No offense, but you just got way more interesting.
无意冒犯不过你比以前有趣多了
I recently earned my orange belt in jujitsu.
我最近刚拿到了柔道的橘带
And now you're running back the other way.
现在你又没那么有趣了
Look, I don't like attention,
我不喜欢别人关注我
so if Jules tries to smother me with it,
如果茱尔斯打算那么逼死我
I will just say no.
我直接拒绝就好了
What are we laughing at?
大家笑什么呢
Oh, my god. Those jeans suck.
天哪那牛仔裤真难看
It's like you forgot to put your ass on this morning.
感觉像是你今早忘了把屁♥股♥塞进去
We're gonna have to do something about your look.
我们得对你的外形下点功夫
Finally see your head?
还是看到你的头了
Man, that stinks.
天哪太恶心了
I used to rock the jean shorts and half-shirt,
我以前穿牛仔短裤和半衫可帅呆了
but then the girls went and stole my whole look.
然后这些女孩偷了我的造型
Remember how Studly Burt Reynolds looked
还记得斯达黎·伯特·雷诺兹穿那身装束
in that getup?
是什么样子吗
"Hey, look at me. I'm a hairy Adonis."
嘿看我我是多毛版的阿多尼斯
Yeah, the half-and-half was regal.
是啊还有四分之一王室血统呢
Hey, Rosa. Yeah, sure.
嘿罗莎是啊
If, uh, Stan is having fun in the park, stay there.
如果斯坦在公园玩得开心就在那玩吧
All right. Man, our new nanny is awesome.
好吧我们的新保姆实在太好了
What happened to the old one?
之前那个怎么了
When Stan goes to sleep,
斯坦睡觉的时候
just shake a little cereal in his crib.
往他的婴儿床里倒点麦片
That way, in the morning,
这样早上的时候
he won't wake us up when he's hungry.
他就算饿了也不会把我们吵醒
He'll just eat the ones stuck to his tiny arms.
他会吃掉他小手臂上粘的那些
She may have called child services.
她可能打电♥话♥叫了儿童服务中心
Okay, guys.
好了同志们
Aah. These are too tight.
这裤子太紧了
Oh, nut up, crybaby.
闭嘴爱哭鬼
You think women enjoy wearing tight jeans?
你以为女人就喜欢穿这么紧的牛仔裤吗
Do you think I'm lying like this to look sexy?
你以为我这样躺着是为了看着性感吗
Mongo, flip me.
黄金猎犬把我翻过去
In order to get these jeans fastened,
为了扣上这条牛仔裤
I have to lie flat on the ground, and either smith
我得平躺在地上要么让史密斯
or, if he's not there, my building manager
他要是不在的话就让我那栋楼的经理
has to yank the sides together
使劲把两边拉到一块
while I suck in and do a quick zip,
然后我吸口气迅速拉上拉链
and then the next day, I am bruised from here...
第二天呢我会从这儿
to here.
肿到这儿
These are my standing jeans.
这是我的站立牛仔裤
I literally cannot sit down in them. Watch.
我根本没法穿着这裤子坐下看
I'm gonna relax my whole body and just crumble to the ground.
我要放松全身瘫到地上去
Oh, no, I'm not.
不我瘫不下去
You see, because my jeans are holding me up.
看因为我的牛仔裤把我撑起来了
You know what else I decided?
我还决定了一件事
Doe't he look better in glasses?
他戴着眼镜是不是帅多了
Hello, Jeff Goldblum.
你好啊杰夫·高布伦
I'm in hell, I'm in hell
我快死了我快死了
She tell me get my comb, she don't like my hair
她让我去找把梳子她讨厌我的发型
She tell me move my boots, she don't want 'em there
她让我把靴子挪开她觉得碍眼
She says that again, I tell ya what I'm gonna say
她要再说一次我会这样说
I'm gonna say back up off me, baby, okay?
我要说离我远点亲爱的
I'm a grown man. I'll make my own decisions.
我是成年人我要自己做决定
Just not to her face, I'm in he--
但不能当面说我要死
Hey. Is that a new song?
这是首新歌♥
Yeah. It--I'm not really ready to share it yet.
是啊只是还没准备好跟别人分享
Well, when you're ready.
那就准备好再说吧
Oh, yeah.
哦也
Hey, hot flash. Did you do this?
现行犯这是你干的吗
I did. See, the reason I buy expensive things
是我♥干♥的我之所以买♥♥奢侈品
is to belittle people who can't afford them.
就是为了鄙视那些买♥♥不起的
Ooh, girl, you just got served. Or is it "Owned"?
你刚被鄙视了还是被"糟践"了
"Owned" is when you dominate someone over a long period of time.
"糟践"是指你长时间压榨某人