亚莉克莎与凯蒂（2018）

小心
Watch it!
我有梅斯喷雾
I have mace in here.
就在某个地方
Somewhere.
我真是受够了
I have had just about enough--
你看见他们的表情了吗
Oh! Did you see that face?
你在逗我吗
Are you kidding me?
每次我看见她的脸 都想看到那个表情
I wanna see that face every time I see her face.
我还以为我要被砍头了
Thought I was gonna get my head chopped off.
真搞笑
Funny stuff.
你真的不知道是我们吗
So you really didn't know it was us?
不 我以为你们是邪恶的疯子
No! I thought you were depraved maniacs.
我大致正确
I'm certainly in the ballpark.
我们很高兴能让你笑出来
Well, we're just happy to bring a smile to your face.
也让我尿出来了
Yeah, and a little pee to my pants.
我们走吧 乔波 还要拜访更多邻居呢
Uh, let's roll, Chapo. We've got more neighbors to visit.
那对可爱的退休夫妇
Oh, and that sweet little retired couple
刚搬到街对面
that just moved across the street.
-你觉得他们能承受吗 -我们会知道的
- You think they can handle it? - We'll find out!
每年万圣节 他俩都把我们吓个半死
You know, every Halloween, those two scare the noodles out of us.
今年
This year...
我们要报仇
we're getting revenge!
你加入吗 杰克
You with me, Jack?
我以前是喜欢小丑的
I used to like clowns.
这个双人独角兽好可爱
This two-person unicorn is adorable!
我来当头 你来当屁♥股♥
I'll be the head, you can be the butt.
这是你建议的第十套戏服了
That's the tenth costume you suggested.
每次我都是屁♥股♥
And every time, I'm the butt.
好吧 你觉得我们该穿什么戏服
Fine, what do you think our costumes should be?
我不知道 很酷的东西 像是
I don't know. Something cool like...
女孩机器人和玉米煎饼
a girl robot and a burrito.
所以你永远当不了头
This is why you'll never be the head.
谢谢 再见
Thanks, bye.
-我们做到了 高位击掌 -太累了
- We did it! Up high! - Too tired.
-低位击掌 -好
- Down low. - Yeah.
-我们平分小费吧 -不不不
- Okay, let's split these tips. - Uh, no, no, no.
你在为伦敦之旅攒钱
You're saving for London.
我不接受不不不这个回答
I'm not taking no, no, no for an answer.
这是你应得的
You earned it.
我能拿33%的小费
I get 33% of the tips,
我们每个人拿我分成的50%
so we each get 50% of my percentage.
听上去需要计算器
This sounds like a calculator situation. Hmm.
当然 如果迪伦在 他就可以心算
Of course if Dylan were here, he could just do it in his head
因为他是个数学
because he's such a math...
数学天才竞赛 迪伦
Mathletes! Dylan!
快跑
Run!
天啊 迪伦
Oh my God! Dylan.
我迟到多久了
How late am I?
很久 比赛结束了
Very. It's over.
该死
Crap.
你表现怎么样
Well, how did you do?
我们赢了
We won.
我们打败了州冠军
We beat state champs.
真棒
That's great!
很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
我在帮助凯蒂 完全分心了
I got totally distracted helping Katie.
有一大群人来了连线咖啡厅
This huge group camexa0into Wired--
真棒
Great.
我今晚赢了 但我又一次排在了凯蒂之后
I won tonight, but once again I come in second to Katie.
什么
What?
我有重要的事 亚莉克莎
I had something important to me, Alexa,
但你选择了凯蒂
but you chose Katie.
这跟凯蒂有关
So this is about Katie.
不
No.
跟你不在有关
It's about you not being there.
我不是故意的
It wasn't on purpose.
她是我最好的朋友 她需要我的帮助
She's my best friend and she needed my help.
我是你男友
Well... I'm your boyfriend,
这些比赛真的很重要
and these competitions are a big deal.
数学天才竞赛会帮我进
Mathletes is going to help me
加州大学洛杉矶分校和斯坦福大学
get into UCLA or Stanford.
我知道
I know, I know.
我们可不想让什么事
We wouldn't want anything
阻止你在加州冲浪
getting in the way of you surfing in California.
什么
What?
没什么 我说了抱歉
Nothing. I said I was sorry.
你很抱歉 当你得挂掉电♥话♥
You were sorry, when you had to get off the phone
因为你要跟凯蒂说话
because you had to tell Katie something.
你很抱歉 当我想带你看电影
You were sorry when I wanted to take you to the movies,
但你跟凯蒂都看完了
but you had already seen them all with Katie.
所以 抱歉 但是
So... sorry? But...
我受够了抱歉
I've had it with "I'm sorry."
那说个好消息吧
Well, then good news.
因为那是我的最后一句抱歉
Because that was my last "I'm sorry."
亚莉克莎
Alexa!
嘿 MVM
Hey, MVM!
最有价值的数学天才
Most Valuable Mathlete.
大家想把你扛在肩上
Guys want to carry you off on our shoulders.
-好吧 -嗯
- Okay, okay. - Yeah, yeah.
没事 我们就鼓鼓掌吧
It's cool, dude. We're just gonna clap a little.
别跳出来了 我知道你们在那里
Don't bother jumping out. I know you're there.
真扫兴
Such a party pooper!
我们没有完全失败 卢卡斯随时会回家
It's not a total loss. Lucas will be home any minute.
对 他很容易就会尖叫
Yes, that's right, he's our easy screamer!
我们该喷更多的血吗
Should we squirt more blood on everything?
你知道这问题的答案总是 好啊
You know the answer to that question is always yes!
他来了
Here he comes!
我是屁♥股♥ 你是屁♥股♥
I'm the butt, you're the butt. Ugh!
愚蠢的情侣戏服
Stupid couples costumes!
我太帅了 不能死
Aah! I'm too pretty to die!
你们说过今年不这样做了
You guys said you weren't doing that this year.
我们撒谎了 因为这很好玩
We lied because... it's fun!
你们真的很享受万圣节
You guys really enjoy Halloween together.
也许和睦相处比扮玉米煎饼更重要
Hmm. Maybe getting along is more important than being a burrito.
这本来还挺好玩的 接着他就一直念叨
Well, that was fun till he got all talky.
我在树上找到了你的篮球框
Hey, I, uh, found your basketball hoop in the tree.
谢谢
Hmm. Thanks.
我猜你和迪伦不大顺啊
So, I'm... guessing things didn't go well with Dylan.
我们大吵了一架
We had a big fight.
他很生气我没能去看他的数学天才竞赛
He was mad that I missed his Mathlete thing
因为我和你在一起
because I was with you.
-不 -但他太不讲道理了
- Oh, no. - But he's being totally unreasonable.
他迫不及待想去加州
He's so desperate to go to California.
我为什么要在乎他的想法
Why do I care what he thinks?
你俩需要好好谈谈这事
Look, you two just need to talk this out.
我不想跟他聊
Don't wanna talk to him.
但他说得对
But he's right.
好吗 如果你没有留下来帮我
Okay? If you hadn't stayed to help me,
这一切就不会发生
this wouldn't have happened.
-这是我的错 -不是你的错
- This is my fault. - It's not your fault.
告诉我你懂 这不是你的错
Tell me you get it. It's not your fault.
我完全懂
Yeah, I totally get it.
我当然懂 我为什么不懂
Of course I get it. Why wouldn't I get it?
我得走了
Hmm. I gotta go.
你在这啊
Oh, there you are.
我没心情 凯蒂
Not in the mood, Katie.
当然
Uh, of course.
我在Ins上看见了你的自♥拍♥
Saw your selfie on Instagram.
一个人喝咖啡
"Coffee for one."
不管你想做什么 都别做
Whatever you're trying to do... don't.
你和亚莉克莎天生一对 你俩只是需要谈谈
You and Alexa belong together. You two just need to talk.