亚莉克莎与凯蒂（2018）

但他们这周每天都在一起玩
But they've hung out every day this week.
我们这周每天也在一起玩
We've hung out every day this week.
但你们可爱又有趣
But you guys are adorable and fun.
他们烦人又令人作呕
They're upsetting and barfy.
最终这种兴奋感会消失
Okay, eventually the excitement will wear off,
卢卡斯会翻篇的
and Lucas will move on.
就像是他的那件绿色连帽衫
It's like that time he got that green hoodie.
他连续穿了一个月
He wore it every day for a month.
有一天 他把衣服丢在森林里
And one day, he left it in the woods,
一只浣熊在上面生了宝宝
and a raccoon had her babies on it.
所以我们该把格温妮扔进森林里
So, we should drop Gwenny in the woods
任其自然发展吗
and let nature take its course?
拜托告诉我 你俩一起玩是为了烦我
Please, tell me you guys are hanging out just to annoy me.
我实际上很喜欢卢卡斯 烦你只是额外的好处
I actually like Lucas. Annoying you is just a bonus.
今晚见
See you tonight.
-今晚吗 -是的
- Tonight? - Yup.
我们要第一次约会了 抱歉
We're going on our first date. Oh, sorry...
#第一次约会
Hashtag #firstdate.
拜托
Oh, come on!
我好累啊
I just got so tired!
我们试过用老式的方法破坏
All right. We've tried to sabotage them the old-fashioned way.
是时候更上一层楼了
It's time to kick it up a notch.
我喜欢你说的一切
Mmm, I love everything you're saying.
我们怎么做
How do we do it?
我感觉你们没抓住绿色连帽衫故事的要点
Okay, I feel like you missed the point of the green hoodie story.
我们要给他们最糟糕的约会建议
We are going to give them the worst date advice.
但格温妮永远不会接受我们的糟糕建议
But Gwenny will never take bad advice from us.
她会做和我们说的完全相反的事
She'd just do the exact opposite of what we say.
所以我们要给她很好的建议 而她会做相反的事情
Oh, so we give her good advice, and she'll do the exact opposite.
逆反心理 约会被破坏了
Reverse psychology date sabotaged!
格温妮和我已经敌对多年了
Gwenny and I have been at this for years.
她会预料到逆反心理
She'll anticipate reverse psychology.
所以我们要用逆反逆反心理
Which is why we're going to use reverse reverse psychology.
我会给格温妮糟糕的建议
I'll give Gwenny bad advice.
她会以为我希望她做完全相反的事
She'll assume I'm hoping she'll do the exact opposite,
她就会照我说的做
and do exactly what I say.
-完美 -什么
- Perfect. - What?
或者
Or...
别再干涉他们的事了
just stop meddling in their business.
他们会告吹的 我们可以自己约会啊
It'll fizzle out, and we can have our own date.
真有爱
That's really sweet.
不要 我们要这样做
No. We're doing this.
如果有人问起 你什么都没听到
If anyone asks... ...you never heard anything.
我们很多次对话最后你都是这样说的
Yeah, you end a lot of our conversations that way!
格温妮 嗨
Gwenny, hi.
如果你是来说服我不去和卢卡斯吃晚餐的
If you're here to talk me out of going to dinner with Lucas,
那你是在浪费时间
you're wasting your time.
我已经为我的衣服挑选了配饰
I've already picked out the accessories for my outfit,
它们闪闪发光
and they sparkle.
亮得耀眼
They sparkle hard.
不 我已经接受了
No. I've accepted it.
但如果你要和卢卡斯约会 我♥干♥脆帮你好了
But if you're going to be seeing Lucas, I might as well help you.
你想帮我吗
You want to help me?
-真的吗 -真的
- Really? - Really.
真的吗 建议就太好了
Really? Advice would be great.
别提到他的头发
And don't mention his hair.
绝对不要聊
Never talk about it.
就算他提起这事
Even if he brings it up.
所以不要为她开门或拉椅子
So don't open doors or pull out the chair for her.
不要 但她喜欢你给她点菜
Never. But she does love when you order for her.
所以别让她碰菜单
So don't even let her touch the menu.
他唯一比书更爱的就是聊书
The only thing he loves more than books, is talking about books.
她在人多的地方听不太清楚
And she doesn't hear well in crowded places,
所以一定要大声说话
so be sure to talk loudly.
他总是在开玩笑 但没人懂
He's always making jokes, but no one ever realizes it.
所以要常笑
So laugh. A lot.
所以要常笑
So laugh. A lot.
太有用了 谢谢
Wow. That is so helpful. Thanks.
太有用了 谢谢
Wow. That is so helpful. Thanks.
好像我会上当一样
As if I'd fall for that.
她认为我会做与她所说的完全相反的事
She thinks I'll do the opposite of everything she said.
所以我要做与她所说的完全相反的完全相反的事
So I'm going to do the opposite of the opposite of what she said.
她太小儿科了
She's so basic.
这段感情在他们点甜点之前就会结束
This relationship's going to be over before they order dessert.
在开胃菜之前吧
Let's make it appetizers.
哎哟
Ow.
格温妮一整周都来了我们家
Gwenny's been at the house all week.
我觉得卢卡斯真的很喜欢她
I think Lucas really likes her.
她很整洁 纠正所有人的语法
She's so organized, and she corrects everybody,
还是个好厨师
and she's a great cook.
听起来像是我的高中同学
Sounds like somebody I went to high school with.
你说得对
You're right.
她绝对是黛比·威廉姆斯
She's totally Debbie Williams.
找到了这袋人头 真棒
Found this bag of heads. Awesome.
他是怎么回事
What's going on over there?
我无法再忍♥受噪音了
I just couldn't take the noise anymore.
我想我让他崩溃了
I think I broke him.
我的小舞者
My tiny dancer.
难以置信我要做这事
Can't believe I'm about to do this.
杰克
Jack?
亲爱的 你没必要玩那个游戏了
Honey, you don't have to play that video game.
你可以跳踢踏舞
You can tap dance.
没有父母这样说过
Said no parent ever.
-真的吗 -你的鞋子在橱柜里
- Really? - Your shoes are in the closet.
在吸尘器后面 冬季外套下的盒子里
They're behind the vacuum, under the winter coats, in a box.
标签是"善意商店"
Labeled "Goodwill."
你是个好妈妈
You're a good mom.
我即将成为疯狂的妈妈
I'm about to be an insane mom.
我不知道我要如何应对噪音
I have no idea how I'm going to deal with the noise.
我也许有解决办法
I may have a solution.
这太棒了
This is amazing!
告诉戴夫感谢他在机场的朋友们
Tell Dave to thank his friends at the airport!
真高兴你注意到了 我刚剪头发
Oh, I'm so glad you noticed! I just got it cut!
这不是新的 只是有阵子没穿了
Oh, it's not new! I just haven't worn it in a while.
我真想念这样
I've missed this!
梅鹿汁
Merlot!
我想我能应付 像是车门一样
I guess I can manage, like I did with the car door,
还有餐厅门
and the restaurant door.
我喜欢你这身衣服
I like your outfit.
谢谢你先给我发了张照片
Thanks for sending me a photo of it first.
谢谢你的批准
Thanks for approving it.
不 别 那是我的工作
Oh, no, you don't!xa0That's my job.
真高兴我们能在这里见证这一切
I'm so glad we're here to witness this.
我们像是交响乐指挥
We're like conductors in a symphony.
G小调分手
Breakup in G minor.
想好点什么了吗
Have we made any decisions yet?
是的
Um, yes!
我能要
Could I please have...
更多的免费面包吗
some more free bread?
-你今晚看起来很美 -谢谢
- You look great tonight. - Thanks.
你也是
So do you.
你的发型 算了
And your hair... Never mind.
我的发型怎么了
What about my hair?
我们换个话题吧
Let's change the subject.
最近看了什么有趣的东西吗
Read anything interesting lately?
"请等候入座"的标语牌
The "Please Wait To Be Seated" Sign?
什么 你在搞笑
What? Oh, you're being funny!
但是说真的 你最近在看什么书
Seriously, though. What book are you reading right now?
什么
Huh?
你才搞笑呢
You're the funny one.