家有正太（2014）
About a Boy
第二季
剧集 | 家有正太（2014） | 导航列表
家有正太（2014）
About a Boy S02E05
Part 1
April 8, 2021, 12:30 p.m.
你好呀 伙计 有何贵干啊
Hey there, buddy. To what do I owe the intrusion?
有重要的作业吗
You got a big homework project?
不是作业
Not homework.
我在执行绝密任务
I'm on a top-secret mission.
对象 雪伊·加西亚·米勒
My target? Shea Garcia Miller.
目标 搭讪
My goal? Conversation.
初期目标
At first.
然后就是结婚 或者
Then possibly marriage, or you know,
保持同居恋人关系
just a committed partnership between equals.
暂停一下 这个雪伊
Okay, back up here. This is the Shea
是你妈妈不许你见的那个吗
at you are forbidden to see?
就是她了
The very same.
我可以理解为你是在
Am I to understand that you are
违背你妈妈的旨意吗
directly disobeying your mother?
我的小马科斯变成坏男孩了吗
Is my little Marcus becoming a bad boy?
不 我还是妈妈的骄傲
Nope, still a proud mama's boy.
我只是和妈妈玩点文字游戏
I'm getting around mom on a technicality.
她不许我在校外见雪伊
You see, she forbade me to see Shea outside of school.
所以我完全可以在学校
So nothing is stopping me from "accidentally" running into her
偶遇她
in school.
除非物理定律改变
Nothing but the laws of physics, and my own significant
或者我有行动障碍
physical limitations.
那雪伊有任何表示
Is Shea, uh, showing any signs,
让你觉得她也喜欢你吗
any indication that she likes you back?
威尔 我非常确定
Okay, Will, I am up to my beanie in indication.
我收到了她整整三条短♥信♥
I've gotten three--count 'em-- three texts from her,
从最随意的「怎么样」
ranging from casual, like "What's up?"
-真的吗 -到更亲密的
- Really? - To the more intimate:
「嘿」
"Hey."
-什么 -昨天在
- What? - And in between P.E.
体育课和午休之间
and lunch yesterday?
她搭了我的肩膀
I got shoulder.
虽然隔着外套 但她还是搭了我的肩膀
I mean, it was over the jacket, but still.
好吧
Hmm. Yeah.
作为你半个父亲形象的承担者
Listen, as your ambiguously, you know, paternal figure,
我不得不告诉你目前为止
I gotta tell you that this Shea, so far,
这个雪伊对你没什么意思
has been nothing but bad news.
但作为你的朋友 我全力支持你
But as your friend, I'm all for it.
你好
Ah, hello.
-你是威尔·弗里曼吗 -看是谁问了
- Are you Will Freeman? - Depends on who's asking.
但如果是你问...
But if it's you, then...
是的 我就是
Then yes, yes, I am.
你有上门服务[你被传唤了]
You've been served.
你提供什么服务呢
What exactly are you serving?
有人告你
Someone's suing you.
蠢货
Jackass.
她搭你的肩膀了吗
Did you get any shoulder?
我被告了 伙计
I am being sued, dude.
有个叫安娜斯黛西娅·坎贝尔的人
Someone named Anastasia Campbell
说她和我共同创作了「逃亡的雪橇」
is claiming that she co-wrote Runaway Sleigh.
我都不知道安娜斯黛西娅·坎贝尔是谁
I don't even know who Anastasia Campbell is,
就是个想偷我钱的疯子
except some crazy person who's trying to steal my money.
这事很严重
This is serious, man.
这歌♥是我无限的资金来源
This song is my endless buffet of cash.
那么问题就来了
Which begs the question:
为什么没有人告诉我事态有多严重
Why didn't anyone tell me how serious this was?
没有人吗
Didn't they?
我觉得理查德都跟你说了好几个月了
I feel like Richard was telling you this for months.
「这是一个重大且严肃的问题」
"This is a huge, serious problem,"
这是他的原话
that's a quote.
我的问题总是会顺利解决的
Well, my problems always go away,
你清楚这一点
you know that.
我是金钟罩 什么麻烦也黏不上
I'm teflon, nothing sticks.
天哪 我真恨你
God, I hate you.
什么麻烦事都会黏上我
Everything sticks to me.
我就像是尼龙扣
I'm like velcro.
你猜怎么着 我要请个律师
You know what? I gotta get a lawyer.
你已经有个律师了 她超级火♥辣♥的
You have a lawyer! She's super hot.
-就是那个有... -我和她睡过了
- The one with the-- - I slept with her.
你懂的 会变得很尴尬
You know that. It got awkward.
我需要一个不会被引诱我上♥床♥的律师
I need a lawyer that I'm not tempted to sleep with.
劳丽就是个律师啊
Laurie is a lawyer.
我们一直在告诉你这一点
We keep telling you this.
太棒了
That is perfect.
即使她是被烤焦的地球上最后一名女性
I wouldn't sleep with Laurie if she were
我也不会和她上♥床♥的
the last female on a scorched planet earth.
什么
What?
因为她是我最好朋友的妻子
Because she's married to my best friend.
不然的话...
Otherwise...
好吧
Yeah.
-我们能确定她在这里工作吗 -能
- Are we sure she works here? - Yes.
根据谷歌♥搜索显示
According to Google,
有位叫安娜斯黛西娅·坎贝尔的
there's an Anastasia Campbell
是这里的普拉提老师
who's a pilates instructor here.
我不敢肯定啊 兄弟
I don't know, dude,
我看见了一堆结实的娇躯
I see a lot of toned bodies.
怎么了
What?
跟踪狂斯黛西
Stalker Stacey!
-谁 在哪 在哪 -快回来
- Who? Where? Where? - Get back here!
跟踪狂斯黛西 你不记得了吗
Stalker Stacey! Don't you remember?
那个和我经历过超赞性♥爱♥的可爱粉丝
The cute groupie I had mind-blowing sex with,
但之后她就彻底疯了 黏着我不放
and then she got all crazy and wouldn't leave me alone?
-那个斯黛西 -没错啊 兄弟
- That Stacey? - Yes, dude!
天哪 就是那个跳舞的吗
Oh, my Gosh! The one with the dance?
是的 简直是...
Yeah! It was...
是的 天哪
Yeah. Oh, my God.
我当时试着...试着温柔地分手
I tried to-- I tried to let her down easy.
斯黛西一定是安娜斯黛西娅的缩写
"Stacey" must be short for Anastasia...
其实这名字还真好听
which is a beautiful name, actually.
劳丽和我该把这个名字
Laurie and I should put that
加在宝宝候选名字清单上
on the baby name list.
天哪
Oh, my God.
威尔 威尔
Will! Will!
威尔已经走了
Will's gone.
各位 开始做向下伸展
Everyone, get into the down stretch.
有什么能帮到您的吗
Can I help you?
你是来上课的
Are you here to take a class,
还是像那些喜欢进来看屁♥股♥的变♥态♥一样
or are you just one of those creeps who likes to come in and look at butts?
我对胸比较感兴趣啦
Well, I'm more of a boob man.
我们认识吗
Do I know you?
天哪
Oh, Gosh.
我的教师评估
My teacher evaluations!
我刚刚把它们按字母顺序排好
I just finished alphabetizing them!
而如今它们就这样随风飘散了
And now they are scattered to the wind!
好了 好了 好了
Okay, okay, okay,
让我来帮您吧 金校长
let me help here, Principal G.
马科斯...
Oh, Marcus...
你为什么这么急匆匆的
what has gotten into you of late?
是啊 我从没见过你这样
Yeah, I've never seen you roam the halls
不管不顾地冲过走廊
with such reckless abandon.
菲欧娜 有时间吗
Hey, uh, Fiona, you got a minute?
嗯 我正在做一些关于助产的研究
Yeah, I'm just doing some doula research.
看看这位亚马逊丛林里神奇的女士
Look at this amazing woman in the Amazon.
她在借用重力促进分娩进程
She's using gravity to help the birthing process.
菲欧娜 求你了
Fiona, please!
我看不了那种东西
I can't unsee that!
你能不能少看一会儿
Can you just stop for one second
这种热带雨林小黄♥片♥
with the rainforest porn?
这是正常的 那是阴♥道♥
But it's natural! That is a vagina!
阴♥道♥不是拿来那么用的
家有正太（2014）
About a Boy
剧集 | 家有正太（2014） | 导航列表