家有正太（2014）

About a Boy S02E02

Part 1 April 8, 2021, 12:30 p.m.

待售
我也见过你做愚蠢的决定威尔
I've seen you make some poor choices, Will.
但这个决定特别糟
But this one seems especially bad.
马科斯我知道你害怕会受伤
Marcus, I know you're afraid of getting hurt.
但我对你只有一句话做个纯爷们
But I only have one thing to say to you: nut...up.
比起相扑你现在难道不该在打包吗
Shouldn't you be packing instead of sumo-ing?
你这周就要走了却什么都还没收拾
I mean, you leave in a week and you haven't packed a thing.
我的小朋友打包90%都是精神活动
Packing, my lilliputian friend, is 90% mental.
所以我基本已经打包好了
So, I'm basically packed.
还有什么事是你做不好的
Is there anything you're not awesome at?
没有我们开始吧
Nope. Now let's do this.
胶带粘贴完毕
Sticky tape-ah.
你下周走之前
I was wondering if you could do me
能不能帮我一个小小的忙
a tiny favor before you leave next week.
说吧孩子
Name it, my son.
你能帮我找个死党吗
Uh, could you find me a new best friend?
怎么突然说这个
What's that, now?
我需要你帮我找个死党
I need you to find me a new best friend.
你去了纽约回来之后
You left for New York and when you came back,
就赶走了我仅有的朋友们
you chased away the only friends I had made.
我不是在怪你
I mean, it's not that I'm blaming you.
不不不我一点都不觉得你在怪我
No, no, it doesn't seem at all like you're blaming me.
可以吗威尔
What do you say, Will?
马科斯我很愿意再帮你找个死党
Marcus, I would love to help you find a new best friend,
但你也不可能随便敲敲别人的门
but it's not like you can just knock on someone's door
直接拜托他们做你的死党呀
and ask them to be your best friend.
为什么不行
Why not?
-我就是那样认识你的 -说得也对
- That's how I got you. - Well played.
好吧我同意但同时
All right, I'm on it! But in the meantime...
你要倒下了泡泡男孩
You are going down, bubble boy.
也许你说得对泡泡威尔
You are-a probably right, a-bubble Will.
那是奇怪的奥地利口音
That is a weird Austrian accent.
听起来一点都不像亚洲人
Not...not Asian at all.
不马科斯
Oh, no. Marcus!
能帮我个忙吗
May I ask a favor?
我能不帮吗
May I prevent you from asking a favor?
等你走后
Once you finally shove off,
我想把升降机变成发酵间
I want to turn the dumbwaiter into a fermentation station,
这样就可以给我的助产班煮自酿姜茶了
so I can brew my own ginger kombucha for my doula class.
一种天然的抑呕剂你不知道吗
It's a natural anti-nauseal, don't you know?
所以我能借些工具把你那侧封起来吗
So can I borrow some tools to really seal off your side?
我只听到了等你走后四个字
All I really heard was "Once you finally shove off,"
听起来真是非常暖心呢
which is just a super-warm and fuzzy feeling, you know?
我深深地感动于...
I'm just deeply touched by the whole...
请让我提醒你一下
Might I remind you
是你在几个月前选择脱离我们的生活
that it was you who ripped yourself out of our lives months ago,
但现在我们的伤口已经完全愈合了
but that now our scars have completely healed.
我来帮你建发酵间
I am going to build your fermentation station for you.
非常感谢威尔
That is very kind of you, Will.
-但别太自作多情了 -你说什么
- It's also very egotistical. - I'm sorry?
我和马科斯不再需要你的帮助了
Marcus and I don't need your help anymore.
没有你我们也过得很好
We are managing fine without you.
马科斯刚刚要我帮他找...
Marcus just asked for my help finding--
好啦好啦把工具给我
Bup, bup, bup, just the tools.
等等宝贝你到底租车了没
Wait, babe, have you even rented a moving truck yet?
我才不会把我的吉他们还有乐器们
Well, I'm not just gonna throw my guitars and instruments
扔到货车车厢里呢
in the back of a truck.
你开始打包东西了吗
Have you packed anything yet?
开始了开始了大部分都打包好了
Yeah, yeah. Most of it's packed.
就剩下些杂物了
Just some odds and ends left.
那给我看看吧
Well, then show me.
给我看看你打包了什么我想看看
Show me what you've done. I wanna see it.
事情是这样的
Well, that's the thing.
最近我iPad上的摄像头超奇怪
The camera on my iPad has been super weird lately,
它会让东西看上去很像是没打包一样
and it's making things look super un-packed.
你还没开始收拾
You haven't packed a thing.
没有的确没有
No. No, I haven't.
但我买♥♥了泡泡包装纸
But I got bubble wrap.
这可是个艰巨的任务
That's mission critical.
好吧听着我懂了
All right, listen. I get it.
你要搬走了要把自己的房♥子卖♥♥掉了
You know, you're moving out, you're selling your place.
现在对你而言是个很伤感的时期
It's an emotional time for you right now.
不不不没什么好伤感的
No, no, no, no, no, no. There's no emotion.
没什么好伤感的不过是一堆东西罢了
There's no emotion. It's just stuff.
-我会开始打包的 -我有个主意
- I'm gonna do it. - I have an idea.
不如这样吧
How about this?
你去租辆货车我飞过去
You rent a truck, I fly out there
然后我们一起开车把你的东西运回纽约
and we drive your stuff back to New York together.
这样你就不用担心你的宝贝吉他们了
That way you don't have to worry about, you know, your precious guitars.
-这可行吗 -是的当然可行
- Is that doable? - Yeah, it's way doable.
我有一堆假不休掉就作废了
I have a bunch of vacation days I have to use or lose,
再加上因为我变♥态♥的排班
and we've barely seen each other
我们都很少见面了
because of my crazy schedule.
开车横穿整个国家
Driving cross-country
车上载着我的家当和我的女人
with my stuff in a truck and my lady in a truck.
我得去搞一顶货车司机帽了
Oh, I'm gonna have to get a truck hat.
太棒了
Great.
好吧那么我去搞定机票的事
Okay, so then I'll take care of the ticket
然后我周三飞过去
and I'll fly out on Wednesday.
好哒等等周三...
Okay. Uh, wait, Wedne--
周三就是两天之后...
Wednesday's in like two--
等等宝贝儿我的传呼机响了
Hold on, babe, my beeper.
-周三就是两天之后...-好吧等等
- Wednesday's in two-- - Okay, hold on.
周三就是两天之后哎
Wednesday's in two days.
宝贝有手术了我爱你
Um, babe, it's surgery. I love you.
周三就是两天之后哎
Wednesday's in two days.
好好收拾你的东西好吗
Pack your stuff, okay?
你现在能听到我说话吗
Do you hear me right now?
拜拜宝贝儿我爱你
Bye, baby. I love you.
信♥号♥♥是不...信♥号♥♥是不是断了
Did we lose--did we lose connection?
两天真是...
Two days is a--
马科斯
Marcus!
威尔你在这里干什么
Will? What are you doing here?
我们只有两天时间能帮你找新的死党
We got two days to find you a new best friend
来代替我的位置了胜算大吗
to replace me, man. Odds of success?
我们能搞定的
We got this.
道格拉斯我猜就像马科斯一样
So, Douglas, I'm assuming like Marcus here,
你害怕运动也很不擅长运动是吧
you fear sports and suck at them?
太好了
Perfect.
所以你自己空闲时间喜欢干些什么
Uh, so what do you like to do with your "me" time?
我是41级的昆都大♥师♥
I'm a level 41 kundu master.
想要比一比吗
Wanna battle?
下一位
Next.
我喜欢航♥空♥纪念品
I'm into aeronautical memorabilia.
-你说什么 -我收集呕吐袋
- Excuse me? - I collect barf bags.
呆子
Dork!
下一位
Next.
我喜欢哞哞叫
I'm into mooing.
哞
Moo.
这已经非常明了了你知道吗
It just became so clear, you know?
马科斯之所以找不到同龄好友
Marcus can't find a kid his own age to be his best friend
是因为他们都不如他
because they're beneath him--
社交不如他情商也不如他
socially and emotionally.
所以我得给他找个成年好友
So I need to find him an adult best friend.
成年好友也许就名叫安迪
Possibly an adult best friend named...Andy.
我有三个不到六岁的孩子
I have three kids under the age of six.
还有一个马上就要出生
I have another child on the way.
他待我刻薄还跟我较劲简直诡异
He's mean to me. And the rivalry thing? Very weird.
什么较劲你在说什么
What rivalry? What are you talking about?
你没发现吗
You don't see it?