家有正太（2014）

About a Boy S02E14

Part 4 April 8, 2021, 12:33 p.m.

one half mango for my girlfriend, Shea, please?
好的
All right.
思路特[婊♥子♥]
"Slut?"
不对你拼错了
No, you spelled it wrong.
她的名字是雪伊下雪的雪
Her name is Shea. S-H--
我知道她叫什么但她这种又丑又蠢的贱♥货♥
I know her name, but seeing how she's ugly and stupid and worthless,
我觉得我拼得更准确
I think my name for her is much better.
我的女友雪伊人美心也美
My girlfriend, Shea, is beautiful, kind, and amazing,
我希望你不要用这种口气议论她
and I would appreciate it if you didn't talk about her that way.
你是这么希望的吗
You would, would you?
是的没错
Yeah. I would.
我偏不你能咋的
What are you gonna do about it?
我也不知道我还没想到该怎么办
I don't know, I haven't really gotten that far.
我想到了
Well, I have!
跟你的小费说再见吧
You just lost your tip.
太疯狂了我们刚才还在吃意面
That was crazy. I mean, one minute we're eating pasta,
然后一下子
and then boom!
我们就到林子里裸泳去了
We're in the woods, naked,
还被警♥察♥逮住了
with sirens flashing.
一辈子都忘不了了
That's one for the ages.
是啊好精彩
Yes. Good story.
菲欧娜别担心
Oh, Fiona, don't worry.
这事不会记录在案的
This won't go on our record.
顶多口头警告一下就放人了
They'll let us off with a warning.
不我不是担心这个
Oh, no, it's not that.
我我只是没法
I'm--I--it's just I can't have
经常这样随性地探险
adventures like this very often.
有马科斯之前或许行
I mean, I could before Marcus,
但现在不行了
but not anymore.
这没关系啊
Well, that's-- that's okay.
是啊对我是没关系
Yeah, no, it is-- it's okay for me.
我喜欢做马科斯的母亲
I love being Marcus's mom,
但我没法抛下一切说走就走
but I can't drop everything at a moment's notice
去看流星雨啊冲浪啊
and go see a meteor shower or go surfing
裸泳什么的
or skinny dipping.
而我真的不知道我能给你的
And I'm not sure what I have to offer
对你来说是否足够
is enough for you.
你看我并不是必须去看流星雨
Look, I don't need meteor showers
吃野蘑菇或者去泡温泉
or mushrooms or hot springs.
菲欧娜你我的爱情本身就是探险
Fiona, you and me-- we're the adventure.
好了你们俩其他人都处理完了
Okay, you two. We've dealt with the others.
您尽情警告我们吧
We are ready for the warning.
是啊
Yeah.
还警告
Warning?
想得美我们要带你俩去城里
No, we're taking you two downtown.
说起来也不算城里
Well, not downtown.
其实我们分局快到乡下了
Actually, our precinct's in a pretty rural area,
但你俩的案底是留定了
but you're still getting booked.
他们...一般来说只是警告一下
They usually, uh... let you off with a warning.
一般么
Usually.
你们要怎样才不去法♥院♥告我们
So what's it gonna take for you not to sue?
终生免费冻酸奶怎么样
How 'bout a lifetime of free frozen yogurt?
真的
Really?
就这些
That's it?
完全同意
Absolutely.
可恶开价开低了
Damn, I think I undershot.
你之前同意做我女朋友真的只是
Did you just agree to be my girlfriend
想让那个维普尔吃醋吗
to make that Viper guy jealous?
因为我真的喜欢你
Because I really like you,
而我也真的希望我的女友
and I think it would be nice to have
能真心喜欢我
a girlfriend that actually likes me back.
一开始我同意做你女朋友
When I first said I'd be your girlfriend,
大部分是乐得让你跑前跑后
it was mostly 'cause I liked having you around
帮我拿东西
to carry my stuff.
也确实想让维普尔吃醋
Also make Viper jealous.
我觉得可能是因为我不相信你是真心喜欢我
I guess it was just hard to believe that you were for real,
因为一般有男生想约我
'cause usually, guys date me
都是冲着我的传闻来的
because they've heard rumors about me
或者他们知道我妈从来不回家
or because they know my mom's never home
而且我家冰箱里总有啤酒
and that we always have beer in our fridge.
但是刚才听你夸我的那些话
But hearing you say all that nice stuff about me...
我就知道你是真心的了
Now I know you're for real.
你仍然是个怪咖
You're still totally weird,
但你是真心的我从没遇见过你这样的人
but you're for real, and I've never met anyone like you,
小馅...马科斯
Pas-- Marcus.
老兄我不敢相信她竟然亲了我
Man, I can't believe she kissed me.
下次我一定得回吻她
Next time, I am totally gonna kiss back.
绝对的
Yeah, you are!
敬回吻
To kissing back!
回吻
Kissing back!
我来了约会怎么样
Here I am! How did it go?
抱歉我刚才出城去了
Sorry I was off the grid.
快跟我说说
Tell me everything.
其实雪伊只是利用我让她前男友吃醋
So Shea was only using me to make her ex jealous.
啥
What?
威尔
Will!
但我勇敢地和维普尔对峙
But then I stood up to Viper.
慢着雪伊前男友叫维普尔[毒蛇]
Wait--Shea has an ex called "Viper"?
然后雪伊终于意识到她希望
And then Shea realized she wanted to be
真的做我女朋友还吻了我
my girlfriend for real, and I got kissed.
宝贝有女孩亲你啦
Oh, darling, you got kissed!
简直就是我最开心的一晚了
It was pretty much the best night of my life.
马科斯实在是太好了
Marcus, that is so wonderful.
下次他还打算吻回去呢
And next time, he's gonna kiss back.
亲爱的你先上楼
Darling, listen, you go upstairs
准备上♥床♥睡觉
and get ready for bed.
我随后就上楼去听你仔细讲讲
I'm gonna come up and hear all the details.
好
All right.
你就等着听我给你讲讲
Wait until you hear about the part
我肚子上挨了一拳那段吧
where I got punched in the stomach.
你被人打了
You got punched?
还接吻了呢他最美好的一晚
And kissed. Best night of his life.
没准就成了他最可怕的一晚了呢
But that could've been the worst.
你明知道他的腹部极为敏感
You know he has a very sensitive stomach
因为他对乳糖过敏
because of the lactose allergies
还有他的肚脐更是极为脆弱你不能...
and his hypersensitive navel, you can't--
你的指头上是怎么回事
What is going on with your fingertips?
从哪沾上的墨水
Why do you have ink on them?
这是我在节日贺卡上摁手印弄的
That's--that is just some rubber stamp work from holiday cards.
圣诞节过去好几个月了
Christmas was months ago.
到底是怎么回事菲欧娜
What's going on here, Fiona?
这是我在警局摁手印弄上的
It's fingerprint ink from down the precinct,
我们因为裸泳被捕了
where we got arrested for skinny dipping.
探险勇者菲欧娜居然去裸泳
Adventurous Fiona skinny dipping!
看来某些人枯萎的爱情小花重现生机啦
Looks like someone's dried-up love flower got wet!
这样咱俩做个约定
Listen, I'm gonna make you a deal.
只要你到死不提我裸泳这件事
You're gonna take my skinny dipping arrest to the grave,
我就不教育你该怎么做监护人
and I'm gonna spare you the lecture on what a rubbish chaperone you are.
女士咱俩成交
Lady, you got yourself a deal.
很好
All right.
不过你裸泳绝对要比我做不好监护人猛得多
Although, your skinny dipping definitely trumps my chaperone.
那好我就好好教育教育你
Right! Now you're gonna get a lecture.
首先你是个垃圾监护人
One, you are a rubbish chaperone.
其次你看人的眼光实在太差
Two, you are very poor judge of character.
第三你太高了你个大脚野人
Three, you are far too tall, sasquatch!
第四你就是个白♥痴♥
Four, you are an idiot.
第五好好修修你的眉毛行不行
Five, slip slip slip on your eyebrows, okay?
第六你头发太茂密你不嫌热吗
Six, your hair is too big and it's not the humidity!