家有正太（2014）

About a Boy S02E01

Part 3 April 8, 2021, 12:29 p.m.

because you don't believe me.
跟马科斯说升降机开门营业了
Tell marcus the dumbwaiter door is open for business.
润滑油还是宁滥勿缺的好
Better to be over-lubed than to be under-lubed.
结扎手术怎么造得了假
How do you fake a vasectomy?
其实相当简单
Apparently, it's pretty easy.
总之重点是我得待在这儿
Anyway, the point is, I have to be around
帮他告诉劳丽不然事情会变得相当复杂
to help him tell Laurie because that can go so dark.
另外马科斯被一群小子欺负了
Oh, and Marcus is being taken advantage of by these bullies.
但菲欧娜却全然不知
And Fiona just won't see it.
我都离开三个月了
So it's like, I can't just show up after three months
不能就这么草率地告诉她事实
and tell her what's going on.
我得想办法向她证明事情的真♥相♥
I gotta figure a way to prove to her what's going on.
怎么了
What?
没什么就是在纽约
No, it's just, you know, in New York,
你花了三个月就为了找到完美的百吉饼
you spent three months trying to find the perfect bagel.
而你在旧金山待了不过24小时
And you're in San Francisco 24 hours
就已经忙得团团转了
and you got so much going on.
我其实我真的需要几天时间
Well, anyway, I just uh-- I really--I need a couple days
把所有事情都理理清楚
to just sort of sort everything out.
这样没问题吧
I hope that's okay.
当然了亲爱的你想待多久都行
Oh, baby, of course. Take as much time as you need.
反正我这一周都要加班
I'm working doubles all week anyway.
好啊挺好
Great, great.
我得挂了
Yeah, I gotta go.
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你再见
I love you too. Bye.
小流氓们
Hooligans!
终生死党
我们找到他们停止给你汇款的原因了
So, we found out why your checks have been stopped.
显然是有人声称与你合写了「逃亡的雪橇」
Apparently, someone is claiming they co-wrote Runaway Sleigh.
什么简直扯淡
What? That is crazy!
明明是我独♥立♥创作的是谁说的
I wrote that song. Who is saying that?
我不知道
I have no idea.
但同时你得稍微调整下
But in the meantime, you're gonna have to
自己的生活方式
make a few adjustments to your lifestyle.
我需要这笔钱哥儿们
I need this money, dude.
没什么大不了的
It's not that big of a deal, all right?
不是说你的钱没了
It's not like your money is gone.
只不过好像是水龙头堵塞了
It's just like, the spigot is clogged.
那要多久才能疏通
Well, how long to unclog the spigot?
我不知道几个星期几个月
I don't know, weeks, months...
-别跟我说几年 -好吧
- Do not say years. - okay.
有惊喜是吗
Surprise, huh?
到底是惊喜呢还是惊吓
Is this a good surprise or a bad surprise?
可能是个超大惊喜对吧威尔
It could be a great surprise, right, Will?
"超大"就算了吧
We could take "great" off the table.
-妈妈亚历克斯打我 -我没有笨蛋
- Mom, Alex hit me! - Did not, jerk!
亚历克斯别打你妹妹
Alex! Stop hitting your sister!
感谢上帝我们终于摆脱抚养孩子的日子了
Thank god we are out of our child-rearing years,
你知道我在说什么吧
you know what I mean?
天呐我等不及到孩子不在家的时候
God, I can't wait till they're all out of the house
这样就能和离开安迪之后嫁的男人独处了
and it's just me and whoever I marry after Andy.
她今晚火气真大
She's on fire tonight.
我好像听到孩子在哭了
You know, I think I hear the baby is crying
要不还是你把惊喜告诉劳丽吧
And why don't you tell Laurie the surprise.
什么安迪安迪
What? Andy, andy!
好吧什么惊喜威尔
Well, all right, so what's the surprise, Will?
还是让我先...这样就好多了
Let me just--uh-- that's much better.
事情是这样的劳丽
Here's the deal, Laurie.
有那么一点点可能那个
Uh, there is a slight chance that with all the--
你那个我该怎么说呢
That you are-- how do I put this?
你可能有喜事了
That you might be carrying.
什么喜事
Carrying what?
就是有喜了
Like a--a baby.
什么那不可能
What? That's impossible.
安迪做了结扎手术的
Andy had a vasectomy.
这个说起来也蛮有意思的
That is a funny story, actually.
我一想到这事就会笑
Makes me laugh to think about it.
我们都知道安迪是个深思熟虑的人
Andy's a deep thinker as we all know.
经过认真考虑之后
And he--after careful consideration,
安迪他决定
Andy decided not
不做结扎手术了
to get a vasectomy.
他做这个决定也有一点点
And I--and I may have had a little bit of
有一点点我的份
a little bit of um--a part to do with that.
我的天呐
Oh, my god.
就是这个惊喜
Surprise!
我的天
Oh, my god!
快点
Hurry up!
好了
Ready.
马科斯这是你的小费
Hey Marcus, here's your tip.
马科斯我们给你留了点匹萨
Uh, Marcus, we saved you some pizza.
-太好了 -是呀
- Cool. - Yeah.
抱歉啦
Oops, I'm sorry.
我看着你们呢你们这群小混混
I'm watching you, you little punks.
一秒钟两秒钟
One, one thousand, two, one thousand,
三秒钟四秒钟
three, one thousand, four, one thousand,
五秒钟准备好了吗我来了
five, one thousand, ready or not, here I come.
举起手来马科斯
Hands up, Marcus.
马科斯
Hey, Marcus.
威尔
Will?
你这到底是在干什么
What on earth are you doing?
我在记录事实
I am documenting.
不你这是在透过卧室窗户
No, you're spying on four teenage boys
窥探四个十几岁的少年
out your bedroom window.
真是太变♥态♥了
Ew, that is so pervy.
菲欧娜
Fiona,
这些所谓的马科斯的朋友很邪恶懂吗
these so-called friends of Marcus's are evil, okay?
你得过来亲眼看看
And you need to see it with your own eyes.
到这边来
Get over here.
-不 -快过来
- No. - Get over here.
不对不起我不能这样
No, I'm sorry, I can't.
不不不不
No, no, no, no.
你马上给我到这儿来
Hey! Hey! You get back here right now.
-威尔威尔 -你跟我来
- Will, Will, Will! - You come with me.
看快看那儿
Look, right there.
马科斯你听说过超级扯内♥裤♥吗
Hey Marcus, have you ever heard of an atomic wedgie?
没有不过听上去不是什么好事
Uh, no, but it doesn't sound great.
本来就不是什么好事转过身去
It's not supposed to. Turn around.
快蹲下
Duck!
该死别这样
Bugger! Don't!
好吧一旦你看到我看到的
Okay, once you see what I see,
我们就能考虑对策
then we can figure out what to do--
不不威尔听我说
No, no. Will, listen.
根本就没有什么"我们"
There is no we, do you understand?
你离开了
You left.
搬去了纽约
You moved to New York
我俩花了整整三个月忘记你
and we have spent three months getting over that.
现在我们好不容易忘记了
And now we're finally over that,
你别再管我们俩了
and you have to leave us alone.
威尔什么情况
Will, what the heck!
你居然在监视...
Are you spying on...
我
me?
妈妈
Mom?
你们俩都在监视我是吧
You two were spying on me, weren't you?
我想生产信任练习没什么意义了吧
I guess birth reenactment trust exercises mean nothing anymore.
不马科斯
No, Marcus,
你妈没在监视你只有我
your mother was not spying, it was all me.
你对我生气我也能理解
And I understand if you're mad at me,
但那几个孩子不是你的朋友
but those kids are not your friends.
那我下周一回到学校
When I get back to school on Monday,
就没有朋友了
I'm back to having no friends.