家有正太（2014）

About a Boy S02E01

Part 2 April 8, 2021, 12:29 p.m.

我知道接下来要发生什么
I-I-I know what's coming here.
好吧
All right.
但是我跟你们说我才不会
But let me tell you something, there is no way
搅和到这种事情里来
that I'm getting involved with this kind of thing.
求你了威尔
Please, Will.
产后抑郁症来了
And here comes the postpartum depression.
看到我没在时一切都好真高兴
Glad to see things didn't get weird when I was away.
没事的
It's all right.
你知道这些是什么意思吗
Do you know what these mean?
受了打击有人做鳄梨沙拉了
Wild stab, um, someone made guacamole?
-我觉得劳拉怀孕了 -什么
- I think Laurie is pregnant. - What?
她出现了各种迹象
She's showing all the signs.
她把鳄梨当水喝
She's eating avocados like they're water,
她最近在吐
she's puking on cue,
她的乳♥头♥颜色
her nipples have darkened
都深得像法国烤肉了
to the color of a deep french roast.
你刚刚毁了我对乳♥头♥的印象
You just may have just ruined nipples for me.
随便了等等你结扎做得怎么样了
Anyway, wait-- what about your vasectomy?
那个你拽着我不让我做的结扎
The vasectomy that you badgered me not to get.
"别摘蛋蛋兄弟别摘蛋蛋"
"Oh, don't get a nut-cut, bro. Don't get a nut-cut."
我不是那么说的
I don't sound like that.
-你就是那么说的 -等等你听我的了
- You sound exactly like that. - Wait, you listened to me?
是的我听你的了
Yes, I listened to you!
劳丽劳丽是什么反应
Was Laurie--well, how did Laurie react?
她没意见吗
Was she cool with that?
整件事最怪的就在那
That's the tricky part of all of this.
她不知道
She doesn't know.
我假装做了
I faked it.
你怎么假装结扎了的
How do you fake a vasectomy?
那个简单
Well, that part was easy.
回家瘸着
I came home. I limped.
把冻豌豆放在裤裆里
I put frozen peas on my crotch.
她给我买♥♥了披萨饼
She brought me pizza bagels.
我甚至还用记号♥笔在蛋蛋上做了标记
I even marked my sack with a highlighter
以防她要看
just in case she checked.
顺便一提她没看
She did not check, by the way.
谢天谢地你从纽约回来了
Thank God you're back from New York
我们可以来处理这事了
so we can deal with this.
-我们 -对啊我们
- We? - Yeah, we.
在"劳丽"的事上没有"我们"
There is no "We" in "Laurie."
小伙子们
Tallyho, chaps!
零食时间到
It's snack time.
辣妹请进
我用豆腐做的素牛肉干搭了个小屋
I made a cabin out of tofu Slim Jims
另外还有茶制可乐
and there's also Chai Cola here.
味道和可乐一样就是有点像果冻
It tastes just like Cola except slightly more gelatinous
略有嚼劲
and a bit chewy.
太棒了
Awesome!
别人家的妈妈都不会做这种健康零食
None of the other moms make such healthy snacks.
自从遇到您我真在考虑要不要改吃素了
Since I met you, I'm really thinking about going vegan.
埃迪你真是太会说话了
Eddie, that makes me so happy.
你知道吗我都要感动了
Do you know? I really feel a movement coming.
我就在家里
Now I'm just gonna be in the house
要什么就跟我说
if you need anything at all.
-好吗 -没问题
- Okay? - All right.
我就说你会在旧金山交到好朋友的对吧
I told you you were gonna make some great mates in San Francisco, didn't I?
真棒真棒
Good job! Good job!
先生们我的屁♥股♥
"Oh, I really feel a movement coming, gentlemen,
真是有点感动了
out of my butthole."
来吧伙计们
Oh, man. Come on, guys.
去基地吧
To the brigade!
你这是要干嘛
Uh, where do you think you're going?
我昨天用储蓄罐里的钱买♥♥零食的时候
I got my third stripe yesterday
已经拿到了我的三条杠
when I used my piggy bank for our snack run.
你需要五条杠
Yeah, well, you need to have five stripes
才能进基地
to get into the brigade.
你说过只要三条杠
You said it was three.
我们后来又升过级了
Not since we did all of our upgrades.
不如你去放哨吧
Why don't you keep watch?
好吧
Okay.
别让任何人上来
Make sure nobody comes.
你好啊伙计
Hey, bud.
你好威尔
Oh, hey, Will.
这是在干嘛呢
What's going on?
在和我朋友一起玩呢
Just hanging with my buds.
是吗那为什么他们都在上面
Oh yeah? Then why are they up there
而你一个人在下面
and you're down here?
我在站岗
Duh, I'm standing guard.
这很重要
It's very important.
听上去没什么意思
Doesn't sound all that fun.
我喜欢站岗威尔
I love standing guard, Will.
你闯过去试试来啊
Just try and get past me. Try it.
我虽然力量不大但我尖叫声够响
What I lack in strength, I make up for in shrieking.
天呐小点声
Keep it down! God!
好的抱歉埃迪
Right, sorry, Eddie.
我相信过会儿我一定能上去的
I'm sure I'll get to go up there later.
我们遇到麻烦了
We got a problem.
什么你要干嘛
What--what are you doing?
你的升降机门卡住了
Well, your dumbwaiter door is stuck
我要给它上上油好让我在的这几天里
and I'm gonna loosen it up so that Marcus can come over
马科斯能随时过来找我
whenever he wants over the next few days while I'm around.
我还以为你只待36个小时
I thought it was a 36 hour trip.
没错但事情出了岔子
It is. But some things have come up.
什么事
What things?
比如马科斯所谓的"朋友们"
Well, for one, Marcus's so-called "Friends"
把我的树屋改成了一个基地
have turned my tree house into a brigade,
还不让他上去
which they are not letting him up into.
他现在正在站岗呢
He is currently standing guard.
所有人都会经历站岗的时期
Everyone has to take a turn standing guard.
不马科斯用不着站岗
No, no, Marcus doesn't have to stand guard.
你明白吗那是他的树屋
Do you understand? It's his tree house.
是我为他建的
I built it for him.
你还是放不下是吗
Having trouble letting go, are we?
我是在保护你的孩子不受欺负
I am trying to keep your kid from getting bullied.
一帮调皮可爱的八年级生
Is it so hard to believe that a bunch of cheeky,
愿意和马科斯一起玩就这么令你难以置信吗
fun eighth graders want to hang out with Marcus?
没错
Yes.
你就是个纵火的消防员
You're being an arsonist firefighter.
什么意思
Definition?
自己纵火然后把火扑灭
Someone who starts a fire so they can put it out,
以此成为英雄收获赞誉
be the hero, and get all the glory.
太荒唐了我为什么要那么干
Okay, that is so ridiculous. Why would I do that?
我不知道等等
I don't know. Hold on.
让我戴上我的精神分♥析♥帽
Put my psychologist hat on for a minute.
对了也许你之所以在旧金山没事找事
Oh, yeah! Maybe you are inventing problems
是为了逃避自己在纽约更大的麻烦
in San Francisco to avoid bigger problems in New York.
摘下你的精神病帽子吧你错了
Take your psycho hat off because you're wrong.
马科斯提到过你自从到了纽约之后
Marcus mentioned that since you've been in new york,
你生活的重心
the main structure of your life
就只有百吉饼了
has been around bagels.
你你跟萨姆还好吗
Is--is everything all right with Sam?
我俩好得很
Okay, everything is great with Sam.
我恨不得立刻回纽约跟她厮守
I am dying to get back to New York to be with her.
是吗
Are you?
当然了她也迫不及待想见我
Yeah,and she can't wait to see me.
我猜是吧
I bet.
能不能别把话题扯到我身上了
So why don't you stop trying to turn this around on me?
听我说我了解男孩儿
Let me tell you something. I know boys.
我知道那些小子根本不拿马科斯当朋友
And I know those boys are not Marcus's friends.
既然你不信我
So I'm gonna now have to prove it to you
我就得证明给你看