家有正太（2014）

About a Boy S02E14

Part 1 April 8, 2021, 12:33 p.m.

你们一定想知道
All right, you may be wondering
我今天召集你们两个的原因
why I've gathered both of you here today.
你的邮件上说会有早餐点心
Your email said that there would be breakfast pastries.
我的预算不够了
Budgetary constraints.
我决定现在是时候对我的「终爱」
I've decided it's time for me to take it to the next level
采取进一步的行动了
with my LOML.
-你的什么 -终爱
- Your what now? - LOML.
就是「终身挚爱」的意思
It stands for "Love of my life."
我要让这种说法广为人知
I'm trying to make it the next big acronym.
那可是场硬仗
That's gonna be an uphill battle.
宝贝你说「进一步的行动」是什么意思
Darling, what do you mean by "Next level"?
我想让雪伊做我的女朋友
I want to ask Shea to be my girlfriend.
等等真不知道...
Hold on. Hold on. I don't know--
真不知道我们有多为你高兴
I don't know if we could be any happier for you.
-是吗 -当然
- Really? - Really.
-真的吗 -没错
- Really? - Yeah.
-去赢取她的芳心吧 -去吧
- Go get her. - Go get her.
谢谢你们我要好好想想我的表白方式
Thanks, you guys. I'm gonna go work on my ask.
这算什么
What was--what-- what was that? Huh?
我可从来没想过
Because Shea is not who I intend
雪伊可能会成为我未来的儿媳妇
to be my someday daughter-in-law.
-什么 -这不是没有可能
- What? - Yeah. No, it could happen.
他们会先约会
First they're dating.
然后意外生了双胞胎孩子
Then Marcus is struggling to pay child support
马科斯会为抚养费辛苦奔波
for their unplanned twins.
工作越来越难找
Job market's crap,
接下来
and the next thing you know,
他为了生计只好去当模特
he's had to take a job modeling to pay the bills.
会有这种事
He--he does?
起先是当时装目录
First it's catalog.
之后就有可能上天桥
But the runway always comes calling.
雪伊和马科斯不会在一起的
Shea and Marcus are never going to date.
雪伊是不可能答应他的
Shea will never say yes to him.
你怎么敢这么肯定
How do you know that for sure?
吸-约雪...
Give me an S-H-E...
加上伊连起来
Give me an A. What does that spell?
-雪伊 -好吧
- Shea! - Yeah.
他对人生的无限热情
His irrepressible joie de vivre
就要浪费在雪伊身上了
will be wasted on the likes of Shea.
没错莫名其妙当坏人去阻止人家是何苦呢
Yup, so why forbid it and become the bad guy for no reason?
我棒极了你不用谢我
I am brilliant. You're welcome.
那我就任凭他去尝试然后心碎不已吗
So what, we just let him go out there and get his heart broken?
我和你一样不想看到小家伙受到伤害
Look, I don't want the little dude hurting any more than you do.
但被姑娘拒绝这种事
You know, but being rejected by a girl
是一个男孩走向成熟的必经之路
is kind of like a male rite of passage.
就像从穿三角裤换到穿四角裤
Like, it's like going from briefs to boxers
或从四角裤换到四角紧身裤这种事
or boxers to boxer-briefs.
但他现在穿的还是那种
Yeah, but he still wears the ones
屁♥股♥上画着蜘蛛侠的内♥裤♥
with the Spider-Man on his bottom.
相信我一次好吗
Trust me on this one, okay?
我们不能出手干预他
It's not our job to intervene.
而应该在事后去安慰他
It's our job to be there to comfort him
抚平他的心灵
and to pick up the pieces.
好吧
Okay.
我想你是对的
I suppose you're right.
虽然我并不想承认
I hate saying that.
有人吗
Knock, knock.
-你好啊 -你好
- Hello. - Hey.
还好吗
How are you?
等等我们今天是不是有过安排
Oh, wait. Did we have plans?
自从把犹太历换到阴历之后
I'm so confused since I switched
我的日子就过糊涂了
from the Jewish calendar to the lunar calendar.
不不不我们并没有事前安排
No, no, no, no, no, no. We didn't have plans.
今晚会有场大型的流星雨
Tonight is a huge meteor shower,
如果我们现在就出发
and I figure if we leave now,
还来得及赶到俄勒冈州我朋友的天文台那儿
we have time to get up to my friend's observatory in Oregon.
收拾东西吧
Pack your bags.
宝贝一场冒险在等着我们
We are going on an adventure, baby.
这听起来好棒
Oh, that sounds incredible...
宝贝
baby.
但今天晚上我要留下来陪马科斯
But you know, I've got to stay with Marcus tonight.
好吧
Yes, of course.
抱歉
Ah, I'm so sorry.
我一时兴奋过头了
I got caught up in the excitement.
你知道我有多喜欢流星雨
I mean, you know how I get about meteors.
我知道你去看流星雨吧
I know, well, you go and enjoy the shower,
我们明天的安排没变化吧
and then we're still on for tomorrow, right?
当然
Yes, of course.
明天晚上
We are one for dinner tomorrow night
我们会在你家一起吃晚餐
here at your house again.
我不是故意用这种语气的
Oh, I didn't mean it like that.
不不其实我想说的是
No, no, no. I meant...
明晚
Tomorrow night.
又能一起吃晚餐了
Dinner here again.
我会做些香蒜酱
'Cause I'm gonna make pesto.
但是挺好了
But get this:
我会在紫甘蓝里
I'm gonna infuse the pine nuts
加上松仁所以看上去就是粉色的
with red cabbage so it's pink.
粉色的香蒜酱
Pink pesto.
很劲爆吧
How wild is that?
-非常♥劲♥爆 -对吧
- That's pretty wild. - Right?
-我都等不及了 -太好了
- I can't wait. - Okay.
再见
Bye.
明晚见
Tomorrow night.
好的
Yeah.
紫甘蓝
Oh, cabbage.
汝非男人之所爱
You are not what men want.
情感轨迹
频率
辱骂短♥信♥ 电♥话♥
如图表所示
As this graph clearly demonstrates,
我们的感情日渐深厚
we've experienced a steady increase in affection over time.
辱骂变少了短♥信♥更频繁了
Insults are down. Texts are up.
上个月我们之间只有一个误拨电♥话♥
And last month, one butt dial.
但这个月有八个非误拨电♥话♥
But this month, eight intentional calls.
综上所述我想说的就是
Basically, what I'm trying to say here is:
你愿意做我的女朋友吗
will you be my girlfriend?
为什么
Why?
我喜欢你
I like you.
你有过女朋友吗
Have you ever had a girlfriend?
-没有 -那为什么现在需要女朋友呢
- No. - Then why do you want one now?
-因为我喜欢你 -这是什么阴谋吗
- I like you. - What's the catch?
我就是[接球手]
I am.
只是个小笑话
It's a little joke.
没什么阴谋
Uh, no catch.
伤感但很治愈
Grieving but healing.
那是什么味道
What is that smell?
你为什么要往内衣上喷酸橙汁
Why are you spraying lingerie with sour juice?
这不是酸橙汁是广藿香水
It's not sour juice. It's patchouli water.
我在为马科斯准备一件伤心长袍
I am preparing a grieving robe
好帮助他面对被雪伊拒绝这件事
for Marcus to deal with Shea's rejection.
广藿香长袍
Patchouli robe.
你是想安慰马科斯还是个中年拉拉
Are you comforting Marcus or a middle-aged lesbian?
我准备了六罐啤酒和一些荤肉
I am gonna help Marcus get over Shea
用男人的方式帮助马科斯忘掉雪伊
like a man with a six-pack and some dead animals.
确实很能抚慰人心
That is comforting, actually.
你们好
Hey, guys.
-宝贝 -伙计
- Hi, darling. - Hey, buddy.
雪伊答应我了
Shea said yes!
我是她男朋友了
I'm a boyfriend now.
等等你们还做了肋排
Wait. And you made me ribs.