狙魔女杰（2016）

Wynonna Earp S04E07

Part 4 March 15, 2021, 1:29 p.m.

他那表现就像我们突然之间
He acted like we were on a fantasy
在上演《单身女郎》的剧情
overnight episode of The Bachelorette.
这就对了
‐ There it is!
什么
‐ What?
总是恶魔干的
‐ It's always a demon.
不不不可能
‐ Oh, no, no, it can't be.
我先看到的邦尼
I saw Bunny first.
我会照顾他的你呆在这里
‐ I'll take care of him. You stay here.
不我来了
‐ No, I'm coming.
我有另一个理论
I have another theory.
全能的主
‐ Lord Almighty.
谁在这儿
Who is here?
我给你数到五的时间
I will give you until the count of five.
一
One...
二
Two...
五
Five.
你是来杀我的吗
‐ You here to kill me?
我答应过你哥哥我不会的
‐ I promised your brother I would not.
但我希望你这样做
‐ But I want you to.
拜托
Please.
让这一切都结束吧
Just make the whole thing end.
我们必须照顾你母亲留下的一切
‐ We must tend to whatever's left of your mother.
我不能
‐ I can't!
我需要她告诉我下一步该怎么做
I need her to tell me what to do next!
无论什么情况你都需要振作起来
‐ You need to snap out of whatever this is.
你打算把整个县都用眼泪
Are you fixing to flood the whole damn county
淹了吗亲爱的
with them tears, love?
看到一个女孩哭任何男人都会心碎
Seeing a girl cry will break any man's heart.
但当那个女孩勇敢顽强
But when that girl is brave,
又充满战斗力的时候呢
tenacious, and fierce?
那
Well...
你差点把这个亡命之徒的心撕成两半
You're nearly tearing this outlaw's heart in two.
操那太辣了
‐ Well, fuck me, that was hot.
嘿麋鹿牛子
‐ Hey elk dicker!
快给我滚出来
Get your animal eating ass out here.
以后你可以先说你好
‐ In future, you could start with hello.
你好
‐ Hello.
操鹿人
Fawn Fucker.
我不是恋兽癖
‐ I'm not a zoophile.
小心考拉我听说它们都有衣原体
‐ Beware koalas, I hear they all have chlamydia.
怎么你不认识这个词吗
‐ That word too big for you?
我不和动物上♥床♥
I don't sleep with animals.
你会考虑一个稍微性感过头的枪手吗
‐ Would you consider a slightly oversexed gunslinger?
我愿意
I give great...
付出一切
...everything.
不要看你会爱上我的
‐ Don't look! You'll fall for me!
有人一直在读她的每日积极卡片
‐ Someone's been reading her daily affirmation cards.
这是为了保护你自己
‐ It's for your own protection.
我不能坠入爱河
‐ I can't fall in love.
因为你不相信它
‐ Because you don't believe in it?
因为我对该咒语免疫
‐ Because I am immune to the spell.
我就知道是你干的
‐ I knew you did it!
德米特里我从来没有跟你赌过什么
‐ Demetri, I never actually bet you anything.
别让每个人都为我着迷
Stop making everyone gaga over me!
嗯他们不应该爱上你的
‐ Well, they shouldn't be falling for you.
如果你做得对就不会
Not if you're doing it right.
等等
‐ Wait...
是我吗
I'm doing it?
你说过你是爱情专家
You said you were a love professional.
一开始我以为这是一个指脱衣舞男的
At first I thought that was some new woke term
新术语但后来我意识到
for strippers, but then, I realized.
你怎么做到的
How did you do this to me?
老实说妹子
‐ Ugh, honestly, girl,
你从来不洗衣服吗看看你的口袋
don't you ever do your laundry? Check your pockets.
就咒语而言很简单的
As far as spells go, it's stupid easy.
决定你认为谁应该坠入爱河
Decide who you think should fall in love,
然后弹一点你的秘密酱汁到他们身上
and then, flick a little of your secret sauce on 'em.
呕别用这词儿
‐ Ew. Don't say secret sauce.
唯一棘手的部分是
‐ Only tricky part is...
确保被弹的时候看到
make sure the flickee sees the target
你想让坠入爱河的目标
you want them to fall for immediately.
因为它们全部会冲着第一个见到的人去
Because they're all in on the first person they see.
全部吗
‐ All in?
我不会和你睡的
‐ I will not sleep with you.
为什么因为我是厄普家后人吗
‐ Why?! Because I'm the Earp heir?
过来
Come here!
因为我爱薇芙莉
‐ Because I love Waverly!
什么
: What?
她是她是如此纯洁
‐ She's just, she's so pure,
她是如此的真诚
and she's so genuine.
她比最可爱的纽扣都可爱多了
She's so much cuter than the cutest of buttons.
从什么时候开始你好这口了
‐ Since when is that your thing?
对吧我是说博士通常在我的欲望表上排名第一
‐ Right? I mean, Doc is usually at the top of my lust chart.
我是说他是一个普世欲望建构师
I mean, the man is a universal arousal architect.
不我是我才是
‐ No, I am! I am!
但心是一个苛刻的主人
‐ But the heart is a demanding master.
而我的心只想要你的妹妹
And mine only wants your sister.
我的订婚派对在今晚
‐ My engagement party is tonight.
我♥干♥不了这个工作我不想干了
I can't do this job. I don't want to.
这就是我去送外卖♥♥的原因
‐ That's why I moved into delivery.
更多的小费更自♥由♥的时间
Better tips, better hours,
你还可以吃从袋子里
and you're allowed to eat the fries
掉出来的薯条
that fall out of the bag.
同时这个咒语无视意愿
‐ Also, this spell ignores consent!
你知道吧
‐ You know...
你们这些现代人真是一根筋
You moderns are so single‐minded.
世上有各种各样的爱
There's all kinds of love!
除非这是客户真正想要的
Sex doesn't enter the equation
否则性不会进入这个范畴
unless that's what the client really wants.
如果我把这东西埋了然后就走了呢
‐ What if I bury the glitter and just go?
丘比特
‐ Cupids...
只有在他们自己选择的情况下才能放弃
can only quit if they pass it on by choice.
什么丘比特
‐ A Cupid?
那是翅膀伤疤
Those were wing scars.
我把它们切掉了完全不想要
‐ I had them removed. So over the top.
你曾经是丘比特但你不再相信爱情了
‐ You were a Cupid and you stopped believing in love?
哦还有
‐ Oh, also...
准备好继续解释为什么你不是胖娃娃
Be prepared to keep explaining why you're not a fat baby.
那是刻板印象
You know, stereotypes!
嗒嗒
Ta‐ta!
所以你的意思是
‐ So you're saying...
这就是你传播爱的方式
That's how you spread the love,
用那一小罐闪闪发光的东西
with that little jar of sparkles?
是的我必须想个办法
‐ Yeah, I have to figure out a way
负责任地传递下去
to responsibly pass it on.
我我不能不参加自己的派对
I... I can't skip my own party!
妮可要给我一个惊喜
Nicole has a surprise for me.
我很害怕
I'm scared.
50美元赌她把你的名字纹在
‐ Fifty bucks says she got your name tattooed
她的胸上了
across her boobs.
那样很棒对吧
Which are so great, right?
你怎么称呼她的胸部
‐ What did you call her boobs?
我没有爱上她别害怕
‐ I'm not in love with her, don't freak.
我只是确保你爱她
I'm just... making sure that you are...
而且
still...
还喜欢女的广泛来说
into boobs, generally.
- 薇诺娜 - 怎么了
‐ Wynonna? ‐ Yes?
你确定你没有任何爱情僵尸症状吗
‐ You sure you haven't had any love zombie symptoms?
没有完全没有
‐ Nope. Nothin' but net.
也许你对咒语有抵抗力
Maybe you're resistant to the spell.