尝试（2020）

我需要会修水龙头的汉子 而不是泪眼婆娑写日记的人 懂吗？
I need a tap fixer, not a watery-eyed journaler, you know?
我需要B6营养素和给墙做绝热
I need B6 supplements and cavity wall insulation,
而不是整天热泪盈眶
not tears on the toilet
因为突然感到世界上的万物都互有关联
'cause everything in the world suddenly feels connected.
你不能比宝宝哭得还多
I cannot have you crying more than the baby.
是 这…
Yeah, I mean, that's…
你知道我不是阿尔法男 你求婚的时候就知道了
You know I'm not an alpha male. I mean, you knew that when you proposed.
我只是不喜欢 “抱一抱 我会陪在你身边”这种
I just don't like all that "hug it out, I'll be there for you" stuff.
我自己完全可以处理得很好
You know, I can cope very well on my own.
做超声波扫描时 不用握着我的手、轻抚我的发
And at the scan, no holding my hand and stroking my hair.
你就给我买♥♥杯咖啡、坐在等候室
Just get me a coffee, sit in the waiting room,
时不时从你的报纸后张望一下 像维多利亚时代的人那样
and look over the top of your newspaper every now and then. Like a Victorian.
因为说实话 我觉得 你可能属于会晕倒的人
Because, to be honest, it feels like you might be a fainter.
真好看 对吧？你觉得呢？
That's cute, isn't it? What do you think of that?
不好看 -是 好难看 对吧？
No. - No, it's gross, isn't it?
能给我买♥♥这个吗？
Can I get this?
这个很漂亮呀
Well, that's nice, isn't it?
好贵
It's quite expensive.
但我真的很喜欢
But I really like it.
是 我知道你喜欢 但…
Yeah, no, I know you do, but--
求求你了
Please?
不行…抱歉 公主 我们不能买♥♥
No. No, I'm sorry Princess, no. We can't.
逛街真有意思啊？ 姑娘们 接下来想去哪？
That was fun, wasn't it? Where do you fancy next, girls?
汉斯与格莱特冰淇淋 -好耶 冰淇淋
Hans & Gretel ice cream! - Yeah! Ice cream!
不行…这么早就吃♥精♥品冰淇淋 不太合适吧？
Oh, no, no, isn't it a little bit early for a novelty ice cream?
我去拿把椅子
I'll just go get a chair.
你能坐在那边吗？
Can you sit over there?
什么 那边？ -不
What, there? - No.
那边
Over there.
这样
Right.
是 但那是另一家餐厅吧？
Right, but that's a different restaurant, isn't it?
好吧
Okay.
是 没问题
Yeah, sure.
喂 我好像说了今天不带亚当吧 小狡猾
Oi, I thought I said no Adam today. Cheeky.
好的 留心它 好吗？
All right, well, be careful with him, all right?
可别让任何人被它的线绊倒了
We don't want anyone tripping over his cord, do we? No.
好的 进去吧
Okay. In you go.
（肯顿集♥会♥酒吧）
（阿森纳对托特纳姆 直播 下午12点30分）
抱歉 我只是在看着孩子们
Sorry, I'm trying to watch those kids.
嗨 你是在这里用餐吗？
Hi. Are you eating here?
是的 亲爱的
Yes, love.
这家咖啡厅的食物吗？ 因为这片区好像只限顾客
With food from this café? Because I think this area is customers only.
我因为癌症没了左边的乳♥房♥♥ 我想在哪吃就在哪吃
I've lost my left breast to cancer. I'll eat where I like.
别朝我咂舌 有机沙拉女士 我不是你家的波兰建筑工
Don't tut at me, superfood salad. I'm not your Polish builder.
走吧 孩子们 真抱歉
Come on, boys. So sorry.
我们家认识克雷兄弟 所以谁都别想管我坐在哪里
My family knew the Krays, so no one tells me where I can sit.
我叫贝芙 -妮基
I'm Bev. - Nikki.
孩子真可爱 -是
Cute kids. - Yeah.
哪个是你的？
So, which one's yours?
一个都不是
None of them, really.
说来话长 贝芙
It's a long story, Bev.
多谢你过来 哥们
Thanks for coming, mate.
蝙蝠灯一亮 我就来了 但我看完上半场就得走
Bat-Signal goes up and here I am. Can only stay for the first half though.
感觉不对 真的不对
This just feels so wrong. It feels so wrong.
我不该来这里 他们知道的 他们知道我不属于这里
I shouldn't be here. They know. They know that I don't belong here.
就像我在教堂一样
It's like when I'm in a church, you know.
他还小 把他变成热刺队球迷
Well, he's young. Switch him to Spurs.
我试过了 为时已晚 他已经是铁杆了
I've tried and it's too late. He's already set.
而且我宁肯他是阿森纳球迷
And anyway, I'd rather he was an Arsenal fan
也不希望他是墙头草
than someone who switches teams.
我是说 那就像…背着妻子出轨
I mean, that's like… cheating on your wife.
抱歉 哥们 不是故意损你
Sorry, mate. No offense.
不 没关系 我之前是崩溃了
No, it's fine. I was having a breakdown.
我真佩服 你这么说仿佛就…
I love it. I love how you say that like you--
就像宣布自己破产 就意味着所有债务清偿了一样
It's like you declare yourself bankrupt and it just clears all your debt.
不 听着 我知道我是个坏人 -是
No, look, I know I'm a bad person. - Right.
但这是因为我的经历 -什么意思？
But it's because of what happened to me. - What do you mean?
没有经历
Nothing.
我没有过不好的经历
Nothing bad has ever happened to me.
我的天啊 兄弟 真遗憾 你怎么不早说
Oh, my goodness, mate. I'm so sorry. You should've said.
这个阴影是何时不曾落下的？
When did this not happen?
不 缺乏不好的经历可能会毁掉一个人
No. Nothing bad happening can be ruinous to a person.
我去参加了一个匿名戒酒会 -是
I went to this AA group. - Yeah?
那里的每一个人都有犯错的缘由 但我一个都没有
Everybody there, they had reasons for their mistakes, but I haven't got any.
我不过是个混♥蛋♥
I'm just an arsehole.
欢迎你随时打断我
Feel free to interrupt.
不需要 请继续 -好吧
No, go on. - Well, there you go.
所以 我创立了这个
So… I started this.
（匿名混♥蛋♥会）
AA -匿名混♥蛋♥会
AA. - Arseholes Anonymous.
我为混♥蛋♥们创造了一个安全的空间 来聚会和改变自己
I have created a safe space for arseholes to come together and change.
是 -因为是这样
Right. -'Cause you see,
我在人生中拥有许多 我没资格拥有的好东西
I've got a lot of good things in my life that I don't deserve,
我要开始让自己变得有资格
and I'm gonna start deserving them.
昨天我考虑让一位难民 在我空余的房♥间留宿
Yesterday I considered letting a refugee stay in my spare room.
实际上是做不到的
I mean, practically, it wouldn't work.
厨房♥的中岛只有一点大 而且我猜要填好多表格
The kitchen island's tiny, and I imagine it's a lot of forms.
但是相信我… -是
But I'm telling you… - Sure.
我一定会改变他人
…I'm gonna change people.
明天的你不一定要重复今天的自己
The man you are today need not be the man you are tomorrow.
你成了邪教头子吗？
Are you running a cult?
哥们 时间会证明一切… -拉卡泽特…
Time will tell, mate. Time will tell. -Lacazette. Lacazette!
糟糕
Shit.
我们会去见法官
So we go in front of a judge
希望他们给我们完全监护权
and just hope that they give us full custody,
但我们…目前不确定他们会怎么决定
but we just-- We're not sure which way it's gonna go at the minute.
是吗？
No?
我觉得当下我和公主的关系
I don't think that I've got the relationship with Princess
和我所预想的进展不太一样
that I would've hoped to have had by now.
我只是…感觉自己像是 她人生中的某个路人
I just-- I feel like just some random woman in her life.
我想这是我无法对她严厉的原因
I think that's why I find it hard to be tough with her.
我太希望她能喜欢我了
I'm so desperate for her to like me.
是的 我女儿也曾有过一些问题
Yeah, my daughter had some problems,
相信我 严厉之爱才是唯一的爱
and I'm telling you, tough love is the only love.
是…你说得对…
Yeah, yeah. You're right, you're right.
家人就是一切 -对
Family is everything. - Yeah.
听着 若有人试图夺走我的家人？
Look, if someone tried to take mine away?
会出命案的
There'd be murders.
真的命案
Literal murders.
抱歉 我得看着… -你好好看着 亲爱的
Sorry, I'm just gonna keep-- - No, you keep an eye, love.
要是我想抢走小孩 我就会在这里行动
If I was going to grab a kid, I'd do it here.
是
Yeah.
抱歉 我得接…
Sorry, I just need to--
喂？ -嗨
Hello? -Hi.
答应我你不会慌 他没事 好吗？
Promise me you won't panic. He's fine, okay?
小杰 发生什么了？
Jase, what's happened?
他绊倒了 撞到脑袋
He's tripped over and banged his head,
为了安全起见 我带他来医院看看
so I brought him to hospital just to be on the safe side.
医院？
Hospital?
是 他…相信我 他没事
Yeah, look, he's-- Trust me, he's okay.
在德士上 他更担心足球比赛
In the taxi, he was more concerned with the football.
对不对 小家伙？
Weren't you, mate?
小杰 抱歉 你为什么搭德士？
Jase, sorry. Why are you in a taxi?
因为我喝了酒
'Cause I've had a drink.
你喝酒了？
You're drunk?
小杰 如果医院打给社会服务处怎么办？
Jase, what if they call social services?
我们很快就出院 没有人会打给谁 好吗？
We're gonna be in and out, and no one's calling anyone, all right?
听着…我得挂了 宝贝
Listen-- Look, I've gotta go, babe, all right?
不…
No--
真是见鬼
Bloody hell.
一切还好吗？ -抱歉 是 我只是…