尝试（2020）

谢谢 -不客气
Thank you. -You're welcome.
很好 聪明
Great. Clever.
你们还好吧 哥们？ -很好…
How's it going, mate? -Yeah, it's great. It's great.
我筋疲力尽 -是吗？
I am knackered. -Yeah?
我们今天早上4点回家
We got in at 4:00 this morning,
7点就起床出门 去沃尔瑟姆斯托帮她朋友搬家
and we were up at 7:00 to go and help her friend move flat in Walthamstow.
真糟
Oh, no.
她活力四射、积极乐观
She's just so perky and undefeated.
感觉她还没对人生失去希望 通常要到哪个岁数？
It's like her shoulders haven't dropped yet. When does that happen?
大城市29岁 小城镇32岁
Twenty-nine in the city, 32 in the smaller towns.
这样 好
Right. Good.
喂？
Hello.
什么？何时？ -快去…
What? When? -Go, go, go.
好的 我这就来
All right, I'm coming.
我这就来 回头见 哥们 -祝你好运
I'm coming. See ya, mate. -Good luck.
他们有给任何理由吗？
Did they give a reason at all?
你可以告诉我们的
You can say.
比如他们觉得杰森的表现不够出色
Like if they felt that Jason didn't sell himself
或是他的照片太严肃了
or that he looked too stern in the photo.
都是我的错？ -不 抱歉 不是…
All me then, yeah? -No, okay, sorry, no, it--
也可能是我啦
Yeah, it could be me.
也许他们觉得我太年轻 不像妈妈
Maybe they thought I looked too young to be a mum.
好吧
Okay.
他们选择了另一对夫妇 他们有一个与詹姆斯年龄相近的孩子
They chose another couple who already had a child of a similar age to James.
好吧
Okay.
这好像不太公平啊
Well, I mean, that hardly seems very fair, does it,
毕竟他们已经有一个孩子了
considering they already have one.
不 那也合理啦
No, that's-- That makes sense.
他有兄弟或姐妹相伴挺好的 所以…
It's nice that he'll have a brother or sister to play with, so...
这也算是最好的结果 对吧？
that's the best outcome really, isn't it?
我知道你们把希望都放在这一次了 但这并非最后的机会
Look, I know you were all in, but this is not the last chopper out of Saigon.
那接下来怎么办？
So what happens next?
如果现实不如人愿
Well, when things don't just fall into place,
我们就得试试另辟蹊径 对吧？
we just have to jiggle the key in the lock a little bit. Yeah?
你们愿意和一些孩子见见面吗？
So, how would you like to meet some kids?
如何？好啊 那太棒了 对…当然
Yeah? Yeah, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring it on.
是 我们现场给人留下的印象更好
Yeah, no, I think we'd really pop in person.
就在明天 -明天？
Tomorrow. -Tomorrow?
“领养活动日”
"Adoption Activity Day."
大约每半年一次 我们把还没找到家的孩子聚在一起
Every six months or so, we get all the kids we haven't found homes for
邀请想领养孩子的人来 大家一起开一个大派对
and all the people looking for kids and smoosh them together in a big party
看看情况如何
and see what happens.
这体现了领养系统不尽完美 令人担忧
It's a worrying indictment of a broken system,
不过有蛋糕吃 所以我们一直都举办
but there is cake, so we plod on.
会有多少个孩子参加？
How many kids are we talking here?
25个左右 现场会很疯狂的
25 or so. Budget for a migraine.
其实我对于约会采取同样的方针
Actually, I have the same approach to dating.
将对象聚在一起 像挑选公♥寓♥一样
Group them all together like a flat viewing.
节省时间 因为我这个年纪的男人 形象衰败的速度可快了
Saves time, 'cause men my age are rapidly losing their looks.
幸好我的速度还算慢 所以佩妮还是有优势的
Luckily, I'm only gradually losing mine, so it's advantage Penny.
好的 基本上我们有两个小时的时间 与孩子建立感情
Okay, so basically we have two hours to bond with a child
让孩子喜欢上我们
and get them to like us...
还要穿戏服 哇
in fancy dress. Wow.
是的 派对主题是 “长大后我想成为的人”
Oh, yeah. The theme is, "What I want to be when I grow up."
思考一下 -好的
So think on, you know? -Okay.
不 请别太紧张 不过是在公园里和小孩踢踢足球
No. Don't worry, please. It's just a bit of football in a park with some kids.
足球？在公园踢足球…
Football? Just a bit of football in the p--
那好 轻轻松松 -是
That's good. Yeah, it's fine. -Yeah.
对 先别想太多 不要过多投入感情
Yeah, don't race ahead, okay, and overinvest emotionally.
老天 不 我们才没有投入感情 对吧？
Oh, God, no. We've not been doing that. Have we?
当然 不会… -没有
No. God, no. No, no, no. -No.
（詹姆斯）
（詹姆斯）
有时就是会这样与人错过
Sometimes you just miss someone in time.
我知道
I know.
有点像和人分手
It's a bit like breaking up with someone.
你只能放手 继续向前
You've just got to, you know, you've got to move on.
不 我不会这样
Yeah, no, I don't really do that.
我和所有睡过的前任都还维持朋友关系
I'm still friends with everyone I've ever slept with, so...
好吧 这有点让人不安
Okay, that's unsettling.
服装怎么办？
What are we gonna do about costumes?
对 你小时候想成为什么样的大人？
Oh, yeah. Well, what did you wanna be when you're older?
我想在租车公♥司♥当接线员 所以…
I wanted to be working on the phones in a car rental firm. So...
成功了 -愿望实现
There you go. -Absolutely nailed that.
一击即中 -多谢 你呢？
Boom. -Thank you very much. What about you?
我爸的朋友迈克 -是吗？
My dad's friend Michael. -Oh, yeah?
对 我小时候觉得他好有趣
Yeah. He was so fun when I was a kid.
但我长大后意识到他其实只是个酒鬼 对
But then I got older and I realized that he was just an alcoholic. Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
对 他已经去世了 愿他安息
Yeah, he's dead now. Bless him.
酗酒致死
Drunk himself to death, he did.
我们没事吧？
Are we okay?
是
Yeah.
孩子们会喜欢我们的 对吧？
The kids are gonna like us, aren't they?
会的
Yes.
佩妮说得对 我们别想太多
Penny's right. We just-- We shouldn't overthink it.
是 -我们只要踢踢足球
Yeah. -We're going to kick a football around
和孩子们玩一玩
with some kids.
是
Yeah.
不好
Oh, shit.
（肯顿大街）
好 我们有20分钟 所以要速战速决
Okay, we've got 20 minutes, so we just need to be in and out.
对 很快 我知道我想穿什么
Yeah, no bother. I know what I want.
（戏服和古着）
这套如何？ -不行
Here, what about this? -No.
这里的衣服都好不妥
Nothing here is appropriate.
还有哪种动物没被他们弄成性感风格吗？
Is there any animal they can't sexify?
犰狳？唯一一种无法被我们玷污的
Armadillo? That's the one we can't crack.
不好意思 嗨
Excuse me. Hiya.
你们有没有形象更正面的女性戏服？
Do you have any costumes for women that are more positive role models?
左边那排有角色扮演类的
We got role-play, up there on the left.
不 我的意思是… 派对主题是“长大后你想成为的人”
No. I mean, the theme is what you wanna be when you grow up.
比如商人、医生、律师
So something like businessperson or doctor, lawyer.
这一类的服装
Yeah, that sort of thing.
有一套法官服
We got a judge.
对 太好了
Yes. Perfect.
这也太糟了
This is so bad.
是
Yeah.
不好意思 我不能穿成这样去派对
No, I'm sorry. I can't go dressed like this.
听着 你…
Look, you--
是 好吧 不如扮成公主？
No, all right. Okay. What about a princess?
公主是人生赢家
Princesses are very successful.
你见过真的公主吗 小杰？她们很惨
Have you seen a real-life princess, Jase? They're miserable.
不是所有女孩都想成为公主
Not all girls wanna be princesses.
我最不希望女儿变成的就是公主
The last thing I'd want for a daughter is a princess.
这间店里有没有不侮辱女性的服装？
Is there anything in this shop that is not demeaning to women?
我有点紧张 -你说啥？
I'm a bit nervous. -What's that?
我说我有点紧张
I said I'm a bit nervous.
是 我知道 -也很热
Yeah. I know. -And hot.
肯尼亚的狮子真不容易啊
Imagine being inside this in Kenya.
我在想
I was thinking,
我想展现一下武术招数 给孩子们留下印象
I might show them some of my martial arts moves to impress 'em.
你少年时期学的那几招？ -对 你觉得如何？
From when you were a teenager? -Yeah. What do you reckon?
让我看看
Show me.
好的 帮我拿一下 -帽子给我吧
Okay. Just hold that a second. -I'll have the hat.
大概是这样
So, you would be...
你是即兴编的动作吗？
Are you making this up?
不 大部分动作我已经忘了
No, it's-- I've forgotten quite a lot of it.
但这也可能是好事
But that's potentially good,
因为如果我不知道下一招 我的敌人也无法预测
because if I don't know what's next, then neither do my opponents.
是 -所以…
Yeah. -So...
我觉得还是算了
I'd leave it.