尝试（2020）

His middle name is Ivan.
汤马斯埃文特纳
Thomas Ivan Turner.
首字母连起来是“傻子”
His initials are "TIT."
傻子 妮基 傻子
Tit, Nikki, tit.
所以她到底还是以你命名了 对吗？
So she did name him after you then, didn't she?
希望你能帮我说句话
I wish you'd back me up a bit.
你不跟着讨厌我所讨厌的事物 我会不爽的
I don't like it when you don't dislike things I dislike.
你知道当初你喜欢上橄榄时我有多受伤
You know how betrayed I felt when you started liking olives.
对 但我再也不吃橄榄了 不是吗？
Yeah. And I stopped eating them, didn't I?
还不是为了你这个小怪胎
For you, you little weirdo.
对 好的
Right. Okay.
喂？好的 佩妮 上来吧
Hello? Okay, all right, Penny. Come up now. Yeah.
好 -她会骂我们吗？
Right. -Do you think she's gonna tell us off
因为我们没领到孩子
for not finding a child?
不会的 要花很长时间 才能找到合适的孩子
No. It takes a long time to find the right one, doesn't it.
拿我来说吧 在认识你之前 我交过无数个女朋友 而…
Look at me. I had hundreds of girlfriends before I met you, and…
好吧
Okay.
说这话前没经过大脑吧？
That sounded better in your head, didn't it?
对 -我猜也是
Yeah. -Yeah, thought so.
走吧
Come on.
我只是不希望错过这个机会
I just, I don't want this to slip by.
我们的生活需要一件比我俩重要的事
We need something in our lives that's bigger than us,
要比我们活得更久 在我们死后延续下去
something that will outlive us, carry on after we've gone.
我们会有的 好吗？
We will, all right?
厨房♥抽屉里有一堆塑料袋呢
We have loads of plastic bags in our kitchen drawer.
好吗？ -好啦
All right? -Yeah.
准备好了？好
Ready? Okay.
嗨 -你好
Hi. -Hello.
这条街道有闭路电视摄像头吗？
Is there CCTV on this street?
没有…应该没有
No. No, I don't think there is, no.
那就好 这…
Oh, good, good. That's--
那就好 很好 没事
No, that's good. Good, it'll be fine.
好吧 -好
Okay. -Okay.
总之 我只能待半个小时
Anyway, I only have half an hour,
因为我妹妹和妹夫 要为家里新来的狗狗开起名派对
because my sister and her husband are having a naming party for her new puppy.
六个月的婚姻咨♥询♥ 最后却想出这么个主意
Six months of marriage therapy, and that's the best idea they've had.
要我说 别拐弯抹角了 直说这是“孤注一掷”
I said cut to the chase, call it "last throw of the dice"
事实就是这样
'cause that's what it is.
有茶喝
Tea.
总之 派对会很难熬
Anyway, it's gonna be an absolute slog
因为她开始严格吃素了
because she has gone hard vegan.
要糖吗？ -不用了 谢谢
Sugar? -Oh, no, thank you.
别怪我说话难听 但吃多少豆腐炒菜
I'm sorry, but no amount of tofu stir-fries
都无法弥补你去年夏天 开车撞了那只天鹅的罪过
is going to un-hit that swan with your car last summer,
所以不如坦然面对自己的自责
so maybe just deal with the guilt head-on, can we,
别再用菠菜三角酥来自欺欺人了
and stop burying it under a lot of spinach triangles.
这故事一言难尽 它没事啦
Long story. He was fine.
其实主要是它的错 已经警告过它了
It was mainly his fault. He was warned. Right.
凑过来
Gather, please.
好的 -因为我有消息
Okay. -For I have news.
我今天没来过这里
I was never here.
这一切是一场梦 不是现实 好吗？
This is an illusion. This is not happening. Okay?
好 -明白
Okay. -Yeah, okay.
好的 有一个小男孩
Okay, so, there is a boy.
他叫詹姆斯
His name is James.
他是个很棒的男孩
He is a nice boy.
快看
Look.
我觉得他就是你们的男孩
I think he's your boy.
我不想透露我的情报来源
By means I do not wish to divulge,
但我收到消息说他会在24小时内登上系统
I have advanced knowledge he will be on the system in 24 hours.
我们必须为他做好准备
I want us to be ready to go for him.
詹姆斯？
James?
詹姆斯纽曼罗斯
James. James Newman-Ross.
詹姆斯纽曼罗斯
James Newman-Ross.
“JNR” 不赖…
"JNR." That's good. That's good.
对
Yeah.
嗨…抱歉…
Hi, hi. Sorry, sorry.
我只想提醒一下 她6点就要准备孩子的晚饭
Just to say that she'll be doing the kids' tea from six,
千万别感到有压力 但你们最好在45分钟内出发
so absolutely no pressure, but anytime in the next 45 minutes would be ideal.
好吗？
Okay?
瞧他的小脸蛋 -是呀 好可爱
Look at his little face. -I know. Sweet.
好激动啊
So exciting.
哪些东西是弗莱迪的？
How do we know which of this stuff's Freddy's?
如果看起来像 布列特埃利斯小说中人物的东西
If you can imagine a character in a Bret Easton Ellis novel owning it,
那就是他的东西
then it's his.
你还好吗？ -很好
Are you okay? -Yeah. Fine.
是吗？
Yeah?
因为你不需要逞强 -我没事
'Cause you really don't need to be. -I'm fine.
我已经想好了新生活计划
I have a plan for the new me.
结合了跑步、冥想和约炮
It's a combination of taking up running, meditation and screwing other people.
你在约会吗？ -对 也许吧
Are you dating? -Yeah. Maybe.
不知道 要花不少时间打理私处 对吧？但有何不可
I don't know. It's a lot of vagina admin, isn't it? But I could.
搞定 车装满了
That's it. The car's full.
他可以之后再来取他那该死的鹿角蕨
He can come and get his bloody staghorn fern later.
它需要浇水吗？ -需要
Does that need watering? -It does, yeah.
不敢相信要做这件事 你还行吗？
I can't believe we're doing this. Have you got it?
行…
Yeah. Yeah.
你干嘛把衣服都穿在身上？
Why're you wearing all that?
袋子用完了
Ran out of bags.
谢谢 妮基
Thanks, Nikki.
我还以为这个丢了呢
Thought I'd lost that.
天啊 没有哪个女人会拥有两个喷灯
Oh, my God. No woman would ever have two blowtorches,
三套不同的龙虾钳
three different sets of things for cracking lobsters,
却连一个滤盆都没有
but no colander.
你觉得这公♥寓♥如何？ -像一个巨大的安全屋
What do you think of the flat? -I think it's like one big panic room.
真糟糕 对吧？ -是啊
Horrible, innit? -Yeah.
你们觉得怎么样？
So, what do you think?
很漂亮 哥们 -真温馨
Gorgeous, mate. -So lovely.
很美 对 非常… -对
Beautiful, yeah, very-- -Yeah.
因为有些装♥修♥风格色彩太丰富
'Cause sometimes things can be too colorful, can't they?
会让人心神不定
It's distracting.
孩子们过来时 你打算怎么弄？
What are you gonna do when the kids come over, mate?
因为这里有点…
'Cause it is quite-- Sort of--
我在网上订了几个豆袋椅
I've ordered some beanbags off the Internet
可能…再买♥♥几个靠枕吧
and… maybe some cushions.
靠枕我们给你就好了
We can sort you out with cushions, can't we?
我们公♥寓♥里有30、40个多余的靠枕呢
We've got 30 or 40 spare ones in our flat you can have, mate.
小杰
Jase.
龙虾钳
Lobster crackers.
四套
Four sets.
他喜欢足球、玩具喷射枪和我的世界游戏
He likes football, Nerf guns and Minecraft.
他最喜欢吃墨西哥鸡肉卷
And his favorite food is a chicken fajita wrap.
这让我感到好老
That makes me feel old.
我小时候最喜欢吃的是鱼柳和炖豆
My favorite food when I was a kid was fish fingers and beans.
是啊
Yeah.
怎么了？
What's the matter?
没什么 -好吧
Nothing. -Okay.
那你为什么怪怪的？
Why you being weird then?
我没有啊 我的行为举止很正常
I'm not. I'm acting completely normally.
对 这才是奇怪的地方
Yeah, but that's what's weird.
因为正常情况下 谈到这些事 你都超级兴奋
Because normally with this sort of stuff, you'd be all hyper.
我没事 -到底怎么回事？
I'm fine. -What's going on?
我不想说
I don't wanna say,
因为如果我告诉你 那我就会变成坏人
because if I tell you, then that makes me a terrible person,
是我最喜欢自己的一点
is the thing that I like most about myself,
不当坏人
and not being a terrible person
所以…
so…
好吧 其实我以为我们会领养女孩
Okay, I sort of assumed that we'd be getting a girl.
这样 -对
Oh. Okay. -Yeah.
我以为我们决定好了
I sort of thought that we decided that.
不 我不知道我们做了这个决定