大门奖（2023）

你觉得如何?
What do you think about these?
他需要太阳眼镜吗?
Does he need sunglasses?
老实讲,他甚麽都不需要
Well, he doesn't need anything.
但他想要40份礼物 - 天啊
But he is expecting 40 gifts. - Oh, man.
你在自设难题
You really set a precedent for yourself.
他还是送企鹅给你做生日礼物吗?
Is he still giving you penguins for your birthday?
不,是海鹦
Oh, no, puffins.
海鹦 - 对,海鹦,没错
Oh, puffins, puffins. - Yeah, puffins. Yeah.
若我有部时光机
Mm-hmm. - And if I had a time machine,
可以回到20年前的那天
where I could go back to the day, one time 20 years ago,
我唯一一次讲过海鹦很可爱的那天
where I said I thought puffins were cute, one time.
对,你会这样做
Yeah, that's what you'd do.
不,我只会这样做 我想起了
Oh, no, that's all I'd do. That reminds me.
我要买♥♥海鹦饼乾
Oh, I need to get puffin crackers. Hmm.
对,不错,很可爱
Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah, cute. - Mm-hmm.
好吧,那麽,你现在买♥♥了几多份?
Okay, so, how many is that?
计算在我家里的在内,应该买♥♥了37份
Um... ...with what I have at home, I think we're up to 37.
37,明白 - 对
Thirty-seven, okay, okay, okay. - Yeah.
不如送他一堆散纸去玩闪蝶机
Oh, why don't you give him a bunch of quarters for the MORPHO machine?
老实讲,德斯提不锺意玩游戏机
Oh, um, yeah, Dusty's definitely not a gamer.
它不是游戏机
It's not a game.
等等,卡珊,你还未试?
Wait, Cass, have you not tried it yet?
我还以为你总是比我快一步
I feel like you always know about things before me.
那麽,它是甚麽鬼?
Well, what does it do?
我不知道
Oh, I don't know.
它应该会向你一语道出
I guess it just tells you your whole reason
你存在于世上的理由
for existing on this earth.
我抽到“讲故事者” 我对天发誓,感觉就像...
I got "Storyteller"... ...and I swear to God, it felt like--
感觉像是有人完全了解我
it felt like someone just reached into my soul
而且看透我的秘密梦想
and-and articulated my secret dream.
那麽,若有秘密梦想才有用
Huh. Well, I guess it helps if you have a secret dream.
你一定要试...
You're going. You're going.
去试吧,卡珊,即刻去 - 不
Go do it. Cass, go do-- Scoot. - No.
即刻去,儘管试试吧
Scoot. Just go do it. - Oh.
(探索)
(你的)
(人生)
(潜能)
(你的社会安全号♥码是甚麽?)
(请提供你的指模)
(你的人生潜能已揭晓)
(你的人生潜能)
小奈 - 唏
Um, Nat? - Hey.
怎样?
Yeah?
这是开玩笑吗?
Is this a joke?
你觉得是玩笑吗?
Um. Is it a joke to you?
你拿到甚麽了?
So what'd you get?
只得这些
Oh, uh, just all of this. - Uh-
不,我指闪蝶机
Oh, no, no. Um, from the MORPHO?
我在替拥有最佳潜能的人拍照,所以...
I've been taking pictures of people with the best potentials. So...
这个,我不觉得我张卡值得拍照,所以...
Oh, well, I don't-- I don't think that mine is photo-worthy, so...
来吧
Come on.
生日派对 - 好吧
Birthday party. - Okey doke.
(贵族)
《天命票务机》
唏 - 唏
Hey. - Hey.
发生甚麽事?你去了哪里?
Uh, what happened? Where-- Where were you?
我试了,受不住群众压力
Um, I did it. I cracked.
不是吧? - 真的
No. - Yeah.
你怎样进入舖头?
H-How did you get in the store?
我叫醒庄逊先生
Oh, I, uh-- I woke up Mr. Johnson.
其实他不算太生气
He wasn't that mad, actually.
明白,那麽你抽到甚麽?
Okay. What-- What did you get?
我抽到“教师口哨音乐家”
Oh, I got "Teacher/Whistler."
“教师口哨音乐家”是甚麽?
What's a teacher whistler?
不,我指“教师或口哨音乐家”
Uh, no, a d-- a "Teacher/Whistler."
天啊,你抽到斜槓卡? - 我抽到斜槓卡,对,你看
No, you got a slash? - I got a slash, yeah. Look at this.
对
Yeah...
我似乎有两种有同等成功机会的人生潜能
...it seems I have two equally viable life potentials
而且两样都正在达成
and I'm currently achieving them both.
太好了 - 对
Aw, that's amazing. - Yeah.
老实讲,起初我内心很反感
I mean, I h-had a very visceral, negative reaction at first.
但之后我去了散步 - 对
But then I went for a walk... - Yeah.
然后心想,老实讲,这其实是好事
...and I-I-I thought, you know what, this is good, actually, the--
是好事,因为它...怎样说?证明是真的
It's good because it's, um-- What's it? Validating.
我不敢相信你真的试了
I just can't believe you actually tried it.
我也是
I know.
老实讲,你之前很抗拒 - 对...
I mean, you were so against it. - Yeah, yeah.
我不敢告诉你我试了
I was afraid to tell you that I tried it.
因为你当时很...我想说的是 老实讲,你之前很介意
Because you were so-- I mean, you know, you were taking it, like, so personal.
即是你有试?
So you did try it?
有啊
Yeah. - Ah.
我...
I, um--
“忠族”,对,再次讲中了
"Loyalty." Yes, another accurate card.
不 - 你非常忠诚
Oh, no. - You're incredibly loyal.
有无搞错?
What the fuck?
有无搞错?
What the fuck?
你抽到“贵族”?
You got fucking "Royalty"?
对 - 哗
Yeah. - Wow.
但到底是甚麽意思? - 我不知道
What does that even mean though? - I don't know.
你应该嫁给王子之类吗?
Are you supposed to marry some prince or something?
听住,首先
Okay, first of all,
我不喜欢你觉得我要妇凭夫贵
I don't like that you think I had to marry into royalty.
还有第二,我完全没认真对待
And-- And secondly, I'm not even taking it seriously,
因为它可能没任何意思,就像...
because, like, it probably doesn't mean anything. Like--
对,没错,就像... - 根本不可能,你懂的
Yeah. No. It's like-- - It can't even be-- You know.
它根本毫无意义 - 但这张写得很具体
Like, it doesn't mean anything. - Except this one is extremely specific.
对,或者你张卡有意思,我张卡就无
Yeah, but maybe your card means something, and my card means nothing.
没错
Right.
你用这部机的时候,是我问你有没有试过
So did you use the machine before or after I asked you
然后你答没有之前还是之后试的?
if you had used it and you said no?
应该是之后
I think after.
应该是之后? - 对
You think after? - Yeah.
两者有很大分别
Pretty big difference between the two.
对,我当时绝对未知道你这麽抗拒它
Yeah, it was definitely before I knew you had such an issue with it.
我没抗拒它
I don't have an issue with it. - Oh.
我觉得很正,全镇都玩得开心
I think it's great, fun for the town.
我的意思是,看看我们
I mean, look at us.
我有两项成功机会均等 而且现在正在达成的潜能
I have two equally viable potentials that I'm already achieving,
而你的却是完全不能成真,所以...
and yours is completely unattainable, so...
好吧
Okay.
(亲爱的伊丝)
安祖莉亚,谢谢
Thanks, Angelia.
因为我还以为你讲笑
Because I thought you were joking.
建护城河有太多安全隐患了,玛花
A moat poses too many safety issues, Martha.
我是不会批准的
I won't approve it.
首先会有人遇溺
Drowning, for one.
我蛮不讲理
I'm being ridiculous.
不,我很忙
No, I'm busy.
你或者听过本镇有个活动叫鹿节
Perhaps you've heard of a little town-wide function called Deerfest,
由我一手策划
which I single-handedly plan.
我会在下次全镇大会提出
I'll bring it up at the next town meeting,
但我不会许下无法兑现的承诺
but I'm not gonna make promises I can't keep.
讲真
Honestly.
我30年前已跟玛花分手 她还找藉口打给我
I broke up with Martha 30 years ago, and she still finds excuses to call me.
卡珊,不会又是咖啡杯吧?
Oh, Cass. If those are more mugs--
你最近的手作已经很难卖♥♥出了
It's been hard enough moving the rest of your recent projects,
你的酒杯、茶巾之类
with your wine glasses and your tea towels and whatever.
其实,这些是T裇
Well, these are T-shirts,
而且或者会卖♥♥得出的
and maybe they would move
只要你把我的东西放在“伊丝精选”
if you put my stuff here with the "Izzy's picks"
而不是埋在深处 - 别傻了
instead of hiding them in the back. - Don't be insane.
他们会话我偏袒家人 - 妈妈,这间舖是你的
They'd accuse me of nepotism. - Mom, it's your store.
也是我的办公室,我时刻都被审查
It's also my office, and I am under constant scrutiny.
身为镇长,我做甚麽都与政♥治♥有关
As mayor, everything I do is political.
天啊,卡珊,到底是甚麽意思?