大门奖（2023）

谢谢
Thank you.
有人因为这座机台而辞掉工作
People, because of this machine, are quitting their jobs.
他们要搬去别的地方
They're moving away.
结束长久以来的感情关係
They're ending their long-term relationships
一头栽进有的没的新事物裡
and diving into new ones willy-nilly.
你听说了 -听说什麽?
Oh, you heard. - Heard what?
我们齐聚一堂
We are gathered here
来到乔吉欧的义大利餐馆与运动中心
at Giorgio's Italian Restaurant and Sports Center
庆贺佩翠西雅柏杰斯校长
to celebrate the union of Principal Patricia Burgess
与法利德马里克先生的结合
and Mr. Farid Malik,
他们的爱受到上帝仁慈的祝福
whose love has been blessed by the grace of God.
也多亏了摩尔弗机台
A-And the MORPHO machine.
法利德,我的爱人
Oh, Farid. My love.
我起先抽到“重机骑士”的潜力时
When I first got my "biker" potential,
我以为那是我此生中最棒的事
I thought it was the greatest thing that could have ever happened.
然后当我出了意外,我以为那是我此生中
Then, when I got into my accident, I thought it was the worst thing
最惨的事
that could have ever happened.
但如果我没撞到头,进了医院
But if I hadn't have smacked my head and gone to the hospital,
就不会遇见你
then I would have never met you.
他们不是认识好几年了吗?
Haven't they known each other for years?
若你没有抽到“爱人” 这个人生潜力会怎样?
What if you hadn't have gotten "lover" as your life potential?
也许你就不会陪我熬夜一整晚
Maybe you wouldn't have stayed up with me all night.
握着我的手,确保我没睡着
Holding my hand. Making sure I didn't fall asleep.
我们无话不谈 -对
We talked about everything. - Yeah!
然后我在当下 就知道我真正的人生潜力是和你厮守
And I knew, then and there, that my true life potential was with you.
妳确定妳没有脑震盪吗?
Are you sure you're not concussed?
这两位爱侣美好地体现出
As these two lovebirds have so beautifully demonstrated,
摩尔弗机台就如同上帝 以神秘的方式运作
the MORPHO machine, like the Lord, works in mysterious ways.
有人会疑惑这是否有更远大的计画
And one wonders if it's all part of some grander plan
或完全是随机出现
or just completely random.
如同摩尔弗蝴蝶 小佩与法利德的爱已经飞上天
Mmm. Uh, like the morpho butterfly, Pat and Farid's love has taken flight,
我们只能希望
and we can only hope
他们有潜力能永远在一起
that they are potentially together forever.
好耶,说得好
Yeah. Hear.
两位要交换戒指了吗?
Would you all like to exchange rings?
其实我们要交换翅膀
Oh. We're actually going to exchange wings.
要戴囉
Here we go.
太棒了
Wonderful.
嘿,神父 -嘿,神父
Hey, Father. - Hey, Father.
神父,不好意思 -你刚才说那座机台就是上帝
Excuse me, Father. - You just said the machine is God,
我知道你和上帝很亲近,所以...
and I know you're close to God, so...
我完全不清楚那座机台的事
I really don't have anything to do with the machine.
神父,我想问问你的意见,一下子就好...
Father, I'd love to pick your brain, very quickly-- very quickly--
关于宇宙的谜团
about the mysteries of the universe.
我抽到“花艺师”
I got "florist."
现在我想到花艺师、花朵、花瓣
Now, I'm thinking florist, flowers, petals.
重机有踏板,我是重机车手 所以我是在做正确的事情吧?
Bikes have pedals. I'm a biker. So, I'm doing the right thing, right?
好,抱歉,但... -神父,不好意思
Yeah. Sorry, but-- - Excuse me, Father.
神父
Father.
好了,大伙们
All right, people.
我们让鲁班神父好好享受派对,行吗?
How about we let Father Reuben enjoy the party, huh?
喝酒囉...
Drinks, drinks, drinks, drinks.
我来一杯 -好
I'll take one. - Okay.
我不知道妳会来
Didn't know I would see you here.
是啊,马里克先生邀我来的时候 我以为是要来作客,但是...
Yeah. When Mr. Malik asked me to come, I thought he meant as a guest, but...
那妳和我同样享受这场派对囉?
So, you're enjoying this about as much as I am?
是啊
Oh, yeah. - Mmm.
我在等什麽时候能搭贡多拉船
Just waiting for my turn on the gondola. -
他们交往一个礼拜后就结婚了?真有趣
So, they got together a week ago, and now they're married? That's fun.
是啊,我不晓得,他们看起来很相爱
Mmm. Yeah. Well, I don't know. They seem very in love.
你看他们相视的眼神
Mm-hmm. - See how they're looking at each other.
她的脖子真的动不了,对吧?
She literally can't move her neck, can she?
因为她戴护颈
Ah-- - 'Cause of the brace.
别这样,
Come on.
怎麽? 妳不觉得有点操之过急吗?
What, you don't think they're rushing into things a bit?
我们还不是一样
People could say the same about us.
什麽?我们没有操之过急
What? We didn't rush into things.
达斯帝,我们当时才20岁
I mean, Dusty, we were 20.
根本不瞭解自己,也不瞭解什麽是谈感情
We didn't know anything about ourselves or relationships.
对,但我不需要一座机台来跟我说 我注定要和妳在一起
Yeah, but I didn't need a machine to tell me I was supposed to be with you.
这又不是比赛 -看看现在的我们
It's not a competition. - I mean, look at us now.
过了20年,还是让对方很惊喜
Twenty years later, still surprising each other.
你知道怎样会让我惊喜吗? 如果你能再放开一点
You know what would be surprising, is if you were a little more open.
心胸更开阔一点,也更乐观一点
You know, a little more openhearted, a little more optimistic.
嘿,这真是太有趣了,对吧? -超有趣
Hey. How much fun is this, right? - So much.
天啊
Man.
卡珊,妳今晚看起来格外动人
Cass, you are looking exceptionally stunning this evening.
谢谢
Thanks.
达斯帝,你也在啊
Dusty, you are here too.
兄弟,开玩笑的 -是啊
Just kidding with you, bud. - Oh, yep.
那场结婚典礼很棒吧?超感人的
How about that ceremony, right? It was so moving.
我整场都忍♥着眼泪
Mm-hmm. - I was fighting back tears the whole time.
但我还是没忍♥住,天啊
And that was a fight that I was losing, man.
其实我也是
Actually, I was too.
别说了,看看我们
Stop that. Look at us.
看看我们这两个容易心软的傢伙
Look at us. Just a couple of bighearted softies over here.
不像达老哥都把所有的情绪藏在心底
Not like big Dust-bust, keeping all those emotions under--
不轻易显露 -没有...
under lock and key. - No, no.
我可以很乐观地说
I can optimistically say
那是最温暖人心的结合,受到机台鼓舞
it was the most heartwarming machine-inspired union
只在一起不到八天 我以前从没见过这种事
between two people who have been together less than eight days I have ever seen.
你们吃过开胃菜了吗?一定要吃一下
Have you guys tried the appies? You gotta try the appies.
吃吃看乔吉欧餐馆的最新品项
Check out the-- the latest on Giorgio's menu.
卡珊鸡翅,也就是辣鸡翅
Cass wings, aka hot wings.
你也太明显了吧
That's not even subtle.
我觉得妳该... -看看谁来了
I think you should-- - Look who's here.
玛莎,妳好
Hello, Martha.
妳得介绍我给妳的新伴侣认识
You have to introduce me to your new partner.
她是我的妻子,但好吧,妳认识萝丝
She's my wife. But, yes, you know Rose.
她过去五年来都是鹿庆典委员会的成员
She's been on the Deerfest committee for the past five years.
抱歉,都怪这拱门的灯光不好
I'm sorry. It's this harsh arcade lighting.
大家因此看起来老了很多
It just makes everyone look so much older.
好,伊琪
So, Izzy... - Mmm.
妳是以新娘或新郎亲友的身分前来?
...are you here as a friend of the bride or the groom?
我是以镇长的身分前来
I'm here as mayor.
我有义务参与这座镇上的每一场活动
I'm obliged to attend every event in this town.
所以没人邀妳
So, you weren't invited.
但说到政♥治♥义务,我们才刚说到旅店的事
But speaking of political duties, we were just talking about the inn
不知道妳有没有时间 核准我们申请的许可证?
and wondered if you've had time to sign that permit we requested?
玛莎,若妳想跟我说话,直接找我就行了
Martha, if you wanna talk to me, just talk to me.
妳不必用许可证来掩饰意图
You don't have to make this about permits.
不,我是真的需要那份许可证
No, but I really do just need the permit.
都已经过了几十年
It's been decades,
妳依然觉得必须建一条护城河 才能跟我说话
and you still think you have to build a moat just to talk to me.
一条护城河 -给我们那该死的许可证就是了
A moat. - Just give us the fucking permit.
好,妳就... -妳别乱碰她
Okay. Just-- - And watch your damn hands.
别争了,萝丝,这根本没有意义
Oh. - Come on, Rose. This is pointless.
哇
Wow.
她怎麽可以摸妳?太过分了吧
She got to touch you? This is ridiculous.
不好意思,大家好
Excuse me. Hello.
各位可以听我说一下吗?
Can I have everyone's attention, please?
现在轮到我送礼物给新娘和新郎
Well, it's my turn to give my gift to the bride and groom.
但我需要一些空间,请大家让开
But I'll need a little space, if you all could just move aside, please.
谢谢
Please.
大家都知道,我不仅是镇长
Now, as you all know, in addition to being your mayor...
(DJ台)
也是一位舞者
I'm also a dancer.
不会吧
She wouldn't.
你知道她会的
You know that she would.
小佩和法利德
And Pat and Farid,
我想不出更好的方式 来祝福你们这份新的感情